- Is everyone lining up to take a shot at Fatsel, er, Axl
Rose? The line definitely is growing and after Rose’s abysmal performance
earlier this week at a benefit show in San Francisco organized by Neil Young in
which an out-of-shape, gasping-for-breath, cherubic Rose huffed, puffed and
mumbled his way through the single worst rendition of “Welcome to the Jungle”
ever performed – including karaoke versions – the Axl jokes and memes were
flying around the Internet like enchiladas flying into Rose’s pie hole at a
Mexican restaurant. Perhaps no one hates Rose more or has blasted him more over
the years than former Guns N' Roses bandmate Slash, who sounds like he wants to fight Axl
every time he talks about him. The Axl hate seems to run through the Slash
family, at least based on an interview this week by Perla Hudson, Slash’s wife.
Following Rose’s emabarrasing on-stage effort and subsequent appearance on
“Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” Hudson lined Rose up in her crosshairs and hit him below
the belt. Granted, Rose helped her and every other joke maker out by bringing
an entire burger truck to Kimmel’s studio to feed the host and his audience,
but Hudson still went further than most.
“I was waiting for something
enlightening and all I got was promotion for a show and his evident affinity
for a chili burger,” Hudson joked. "Where is the love Axl? And I stayed up
for this? Sex, drugs and chilli dogs. Long live Axl Rose." For the record,
Rose answered questions about the early days of Guns N' Roses in Hollywood and
Kimmel asked him what it felt like to be just a few minutes from the iconic
band’s old rehearsal space. Rose admitted he hadn't been by the building in
some time, but when he was asked if he remembered it at all, he replied
bluntly, "Unfortunately." Hudson had the last word, commenting on the
lineup of the bastardized version of GNR Rose now plays with. "He's had a
Slash, a Buckethead and a Bumblefoot and evidently way too many Tommy's chili
burgers!" Hey oh, Perla………
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Let this be a warning to anyone
who would dare to attempt to move Peru’s biggest wholesale market to another part of the capital, Lima. A second
attempt in three days to relocate the market did not go well for the Peruvian
government, which didn’t move any markets but did move plenty of local police
to the market’s current location to deal with hundreds of angry food merchants
who have no intention of giving up their current location. Anyone doubting how
serious the merchants are about staying put need look only at the two deaths
and 27 injuries from Saturday’s uprising after a similar battle on Thursday
resulted in the deaths of two civilians and injuries for 68 police officers.
For those who are a bit slow on the math, that’s four people dead and at least
95 injured from two attempts to close the ginormous La Parada food market,
which sprawls over 7.4 acres in Lima's downtown. Government officials ordered vendors
to move to a new market in the eastern part of the capital by mid-September,
but their demands were refused and the government either had to step its
efforts up or live down the shame of being b*tch-slapped by a group of food
sellers. It chose the former and installed huge concrete blocks to impede entry
by cargo trucks into La Parada on Thursday. That action led to Thursday’s
violent clashes between vendors and police and the food-based raged continued Saturday.
With any luck, it will stretch into next week and hopefully beyond………
- Player safety is a major point of focus in the NFL right
now, but another major American professional sports league is extremely
concerned about the well-being of its players and the threat of head injuries:
Major League Baseball. Baseball’s issue has nothing to do with players leveling
each other while running at Olympic sprinter-like speeds and instead centers on
the players who are the initiator of every single play in every game. Pitchers
are the focal point of ongoing discussions within MLB’s hierarchy because of
the rising number of them being struck in the head by line drives off bats
being swung 60 feet away. A prime example of this phenomenon came Thursday
night in Game 2 of the World Series, when San Francisco’s Gregor
Blanco blasted a fastball back through the middle and off the side of Tigers
pitcher Doug Fister’s skull. Fister remained in the game and worked into the
seventh of a 2-0 loss, but the moment was still terrifying and it has
commissioner Bud Selig and his cronies thinking. The league is now looking at
ways to protect pitchers from being injured by batted balls and MLB senior vice
president Dan Halem said Friday night that hat liners are a possibility in the
minors next year. The issue is now on the "fast track," Halem said. “Hopefully,
we can come up with something," he said. "We're making
progress." One possible option, according to Halem, is the idea of protective
headgear for pitchers MLB medical director Dr. Gary Green has been talking to
companies about. That could include borrowing an idea from the NFL, where
players are now wearing both helmets and protective flak jackets made with high-impact,
military-grade Kevlar. A Kevlar-lined cap could be on the horizon and MLB has
been exploring all possible solutions for months, even before Oakland pitcher
Brandon McCarthy was hit in the head by a line drive last month, causing a
skull fracture and brain contusion. "After that, it kind of pushed up our
timetable," Halem said. "We decided to fast track it." The ball
that struck Fister ricocheted about 150 feet, reaching Tigers center fielder
Austin Jackson on one hop and underscoring how fast it was traveling. At least
one participant in the World Series sounded receptive to the idea. "I
definitely think it's something worth exploring," Game 1 winner Barry Zito
said. "We've had high-profile examples of those injuries lately, what
happened with Brandon and then here in the World Series." McCarthy sounded
a similar tone after his incident, saying he would be willing to listen to
ideas about protective headgear, provided it didn't impact his pitching. How
does a pitcher wearing a souped-up batting helmet on the mound sound……….
- New Mexico has a problem. Okay, so New Mexico has a lot
of problems, but it is focusing on one in particular right now and that problem
is the $30 million it spends annually to
collect more than $130 million in child support from deadbeat parents. No
matter how much money the state spends, though, one group of deadbeats never pays
up: the incarcerated ones. Prison inmates and the 10 cents an hour they make
cleaning trays in the prison kitchen do a poor job of financially supporting
their children outside the prison walls and some state lawmakers don’t like
that one bit. “I am a little surprised,” said Rep. Al Park, D-Albuquerque, who
is co-chair of the state legislature’s Corrections Committee. “I pay for my
kids, you pay for your kids. Everyone should pay for their kids.” He’s
referring to inmates like convicted murderer Michael Guzman, who is in prison
for kidnapping and raping two women in 1981 in Tijeras Canyon and murdering one
of the women after he raped her. He was convicted and sentenced to death, but a
life in prison hasn’t prevented him from being married twice and fathering four
children while incarcerated. He received an assist in procreating from then-Gov.
Toney Anaya, who commuted Guzman’s death sentence in 1986, which allowed the
inmate out of the maximum security facility and into a facility where he could
earn conjugal visits through good behavior. Those visits consist of as many as
12 hours alone with a legal spouse in a specially constructed portable
building. Only 254 inmates out of about 6,500 across the state have earned the
privilege and New Mexico is one of six states that allow the practice. Park
wonders if ripping inmates like Guzman’s rights to conjugal visits might not be
the most direct route to preventing more unsupported children like the four
unfortunate sons who belong to Guzman……….
- Still choking down cancer sticks, turning your skin an
ugly shade of green, your skin a nice leathery consistency and your voice into
the equivalent of someone talking while chugging a jar of razor blades, ladies?
Now is the time to quit and if you can stop downing death darts, you just might
dodge some major health issues commonly associated with the filthy habit of
smoking. Researchers in the United Kingdom have found that women who give up smoking by the age of 30 will almost completely avoid
the risks of dying early from tobacco-related diseases and even those who
stopped by the age of 40 lose an average of one year from their lifespan. The
researchers studied more than a million women in the UK and overall, they
discovered that lifelong smokers died a decade earlier than those who never started.
Stopping by age 30 meant women lost just one month off their life. What lead
researcher Richard Peto of Oxford University and his team want women to take
from their findings is that this was not a license for young women to smoke.
Peto’s comprehensive study followed the first generation of women to start smoking
during the 1950s and 60s and found that oddly enough, women suffer from the
effects of smoking just as much as men when they smoke as much as men do. "What
we've shown is that if women smoke like men, they die like men," Peto
said. “More than half of women who smoke and keep on smoking will get killed by
tobacco. Stopping works, amazingly well actually. Smoking kills, stopping works
and the earlier you stop the better.” What was interesting among the study’s
results was the fact that the amount of time smoking mattered more than the
sheer number of cancer sticks consumed. Either way, more proof that death darts
are vile and disgusting is always a positive development for the world………
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