Thursday, October 04, 2012

Cemetery keggers, D.C. history and Riot Watch! Kyrgyzstan


- From here to the rest of eternity, allow 2012 to be known as the year when rioting became the world’s favorite sport. From the United States to Asia, from Europe to Africa, angry groups of people raging against everything from austerity measures to oppressive dictators have risen up and clashed with The Man, burned sh*t to the ground and turned everything imaginable into a weapon. Even Kyrgyzstan has joined in on the fun and Kyrgyzstani rioters showed they can do it just as well as anyone else Wednesday as they clashed with police and tried to break into a building housing the parliament and government offices in Kyrgyzstan's capital Wednesday. The scene in Bishkek took place after a rally to demand the resignation of the prime minister and other top officials finally moved past the lame protesting and got real. In a typical overreaction, government authorities the Central Asian nation described the mass assault as an attempt to overthrow the government. Police officers assigned to protect government offices known as the White House overreacted by using dogs and smoke bombs to disperse a group of young men who attempted to scale the gates, as if scaling the gates was an act of tyranny or something. The carnage was solid, with 10 people treated for injuries, three of them for gunshot wounds. Those 10 came from a group of around 1,000 people who gathered in the center of the city for a rally, organized by nationalist politicians Sapar Zhaparov and Kamchibek Tashiyev, to demand the nationalization of a controversial gold mine in the east of the nation. Interior Minister Zarylbek Rysaliyev postured, posed and promised those responsible for the violence will be sought out and punished. Kyrgyzstan, a humble nation of 5 million people on China's mountainous western border, is currently governed by a parliamentary coalition presided over by Prime Minister Zhantoro Satybaldiyev. Both Zhaparov and Tashiyev are members of a nationalist opposition party, Ata-Zhurt, and Tashiyev who was one of a group of people that scaled the White House gates, a sure sign of leading from the front. These two wisely pretended that Wednesday's gathering was to voice discontent over the Kumtor gold mine, which has been the source of a series of toxic spills in past years, before springing their real plan. Seeing a good riot go down in Kyrgyzstan shouldn’t be a surprise, not in a nation that has seen the overthrow of two governments in its short history since gaining independence amid the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. This truly is the year of the riot………

- Oh, so transparent, “American Karaoke,” so transparent. For the briefest of zero seconds, the leaked video of new “AK” judges/attention whores Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey embroiled in a heated argument on the set of the original terrible reality karaoke show seemed real. Both “singers” appear to be extremely angry and the clip has had the desired effect, causing fans of both women to launch a massive Twitter war against each other and slam the opposite side’s lady of being wrong, stupid, a fraud or some other derogatory word. “AK” producers have also leaked rumors of tension between the two women ever since Minaj and Keith Urban were confirmed as the season's two final judges, hoping the breathe life into a lame-tastic franchise that should have been taken out behind the shed and “Old Yeller-ed” long ago. Making the video appear even more bogus, neither Minaj nor Carey have publicly commented on the video. There is no need to comment on something that is completely staged and artificial, especially when both of you are attention-desperate hacks with questionable degrees of sanity who will do literally anything to get people looking at them. “AK” has grasped at every possible straw in recent years, bringing in pathetic caricatures of formerly great artists (Steven Tyler), musically talent-less pop hacks (Jennifer Lopez) and now the always-insane Carey and the overly produced, skill-less faux hip-hopper (Minaj). That these developments are occurring as the show is so far past jumping the shark that it has circled the globe and is about to jump the same damn shark again is rather convenient and with the series’ music-murdering creator gone to wreck music with a different reality karaoke show, finding ways to keep the lights on is an increasingly desperate proposition………


- Two things that had never happened before both occurred Wednesday afternoon in Washington, D.C. No, a member of Congress did not reject oral sex from an intern while simultaneously turning down a bribe from a lobbyist, although that would be a history-maker. No, the rare feats too place at Nationals Park, where the hometown team clinched the best record in the Major League Baseball and the Teddy Roosevelt mascot won the Presidents Race in the middle of the fourth inning. Since moving to Washington in 2005, the Nationals had never sniffed the playoffs, let alone pushed for the MLB’s best record. They secured the mark with a 5-1 win over Philadelphia, giving them 98 wins an securing homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. But the feat that drew more attention was Teddy -- Mr. Rough Rider, himself – rallying for a win after losing  534 times since 2006. The Nationals began having races among 10-foot-tall foam renderings of Roosevelt, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln at home games in their second season and it took until Wednesday for Roosevelt to break through. Even then, Teddy needed help from a green mascot
wearing a jersey of the Phillies to jump out onto the field and knock down the other three presidents. The WWE-like interference gave Teddy a win in the final game of the regular season and fittingly, the game's very next batter, Washington third baseman Ryan Zimmerman , hit a homer leading off the bottom of the fourth for the home team's first run of the afternoon. After that, Michael Morse doubled and eventually scored, too. With two to-do’s scratched off their list, the Nationals are now ready to bring postseason baseball back to America’s capital for the first time since the Washington Senators lost in the 1933 World Series. That includes three-plus decades without a team until MLB moved the Montreal Expos to D.C. before the 2005 season. The Presidents Race has never been quite as awesome as the racing sausages at Milwaukee Brewers home games or the dueling pierogies at Pittsburgh Pirates games, but neither of those races have produced results leading both Sen. John McCain and White House press secretary Jay Carney to comment on them the way they have on the Presidents Race………


- One could make the argument that the Federal Trade Commission should not waste its time or money on any projects to protect those dumb enough to be suckered in by Internet scammers. Sadly, government rarely has the option of doing the smart or right thing and so it is that the FTC on Wednesday cracked down on telemarketers who bilked consumers out of hundreds of thousands of dollars under the guise of fixing their computers. These scammers worked their magic by calling consumers and directing them to a utility log on their computers that displays warnings and errors as part of its normal operations. Seizing on these fools’ technological naïveté, the scammers than offered to eliminate the “malware” for a fee. FTC agents posing as uneducated consumers recorded phone calls from scammers and heard insane threats as extreme as a possible computer explosion unless they purchased the fix being sold to them. After wrapping its investigation, the FTC announced it had filed charges on Sept. 24 in the Southern District Court of New York to stop the scams. For some odd reason, a federal judge then ordered six of the scammers to halt operations and froze $180,000 in assets. You won't believe this, but the scammers are largely based in India and mainly targeted English-speaking customers in the United States, Canada, Australia, and United Kingdom. Tech-savvy people from India working over clueless Americans? No way. The big loser in the case so far seems to be scammer Kristy Ross, who was fined $163 million for selling fake malware clean-up software. The FTC reported that more than 1 million people were hooked by this scam between 2000 and 2008. A second scammer charged in the FTC’s lawsuit paid Google $1 million for search ads that would direct consumers to call the scammer’s toll-free number when searching for McAfee support or PC fixes. So-called “scareware” is largely on the decline, but there will always be fools out there too clueless to know better or be skeptical of strangers who call them up unsolicited and attempt to extort them……….


- Where does one go to have a good time when in Phoenix, Ariz.? There have to be plenty of bars and clubs, maybe even a few house parties on any given night, right? That is probably true, but not everyone wants to live it up at such a clichéd spot. For those original souls, there has to be a better option and thankfully, there is – even if that better option is causing some major outrage amongst the city’s overly sensitive souls. The new party scene just so happens to be the Greenwood Cemetery at 2300 W. Van Buren in Phoenix. Somehow, the cemetery has turned into a great spot to stage an outdoor rager and a visitor who was there for the cemetery’s originally intended purpose stumbled across one such event. The man, who asked not to be identified, stopped by around 11 a.m. and spotted a large crowd of people elsewhere on the property. He thought he was seeing a wake or a funeral, right up to the point he spotted footballs, volleyballs and people running around and laughing. Those sorts of activities seem a bit too lively and not quite macabre or respectful enough for a place where departed souls go as their final resting place, but no one would be that offended, right? Wrong. The cemetery good Samaritan broke out his smartphone and captured the party on video, which also shows another visitor trying to pay his respects to a dearly departed loved one as the party rages on. One week later, this anonymous agitator returned to the cemetery and saw partiers making out and shotgunning beer. Soon, another round of party people arrived with yet another case of beer, at which point several car radios were cranked up and the party truly kicked it up a notch. Somewhere along the way, one attendee very classily poured beer over a grave in celebration of…..something. Maybe that person knew who was buried there and knew that person to be a fan of cheap, watery beer from a can, but cemetery management didn’t see the situation that way. While there is no agency in Arizona that regulates this type of behavior, officials put up signs telling people what they probably should have known – no parties in the cemetery. Time to find somewhere else to rage……….

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