Sunday, August 19, 2012

New spiders, global animal rights kooks and skittish quarterbacks

- The average human being would be reasonably terrified by a bearded, 6-foot-6, 335-pound man dressed in black and looking to pile drive them into the ground. But Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kevin Kolb has a job that demands he not be terrified of massive men like Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Tommy Kelly - or at least conceal his fear well enough to play the quarterback position well enough to win games. Wheter he is capable of doing that job is up for debate and Kelly is clearly voting now. After he sacked Kolb in the end zone for a safety in Oakland's 31-27 loss to the Cardinals on Friday night, Kelly took another shot at his foe. "He is skittish. He is scared back there," Kelly said. "Anytime anybody gets close to him he starts looking at the refs. As a defensive lineman you love a quarterback like that. He ain't even trying to look at the routes no more. He is paying attention to us and you ain't going to get nothing done like that." That definitely is not showing respect for a rival, especially because Kolb is fighting John Skelton for the starting quarterback job in Arizona. Kold didn’t take kindly to having his quarterbacking courage called into question and returned fire. "Scared? Scared of what?" Kolb fumed. "Taking a hit? I have never been afraid of anyone on the field and that will never change. That includes Number 93 (Kelly). There's a fine line between holding in the pocket and trying to escape to make a play. Tommy Kelly is too clueless to know the difference.” Now if only Kolb showed the same toughness and competence on the field that he does when talking to someone getting a quote for the team’s website, Skelton might not be leading 1-0 in the touchdown passes category this preseason. The real shame is that these two teams play in different conferences and only play in the regular season once every four years……...


- Animal rights kooks like People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals don’t only torment the United State with their asinine, varmint-hugging ways. They also make life miserable in places like Siena, Italy, where the famed Palio bareback horse race is an annual tradition that brings visitors from literally across Europe and even the world to see a few horse-riding daredevils speed around corners and turns along the town’s narrow streets. Unfortunately, the race doesn’t always go off flawlessly and such was the case Thursday, when six of 10 horses crashed during the latest edition of the event. The crash occurred on the first curve of the dirt-covered course in Siena's main square, opening the door for the LAV animal rights group to call for an end to the race. The group cited Friday’s slight mishap as the "umpteenth confirmation that the Palio needs to put the safety of the horses and all the participants ahead of tradition." One of the horses broke a front leg in the collision, giving more ammunition to critics who have long suggested that the intense race among the Tuscan city's quarters should be held without animals. Because horses frequently fall, collide, or are trampled during the race, and some 50 have died since 1970, apparently that means the race doesn’t work. Once the furor from this small issue dies down, the Palio will almost certainly go on as scheduled next year in July and August…………


- Spiders are creepy, crawly and always good fodder for the squashing power of a rolled-up magazine. The discovery of a new family of spiders could be a new kind of spider to be smashed or it could be an exciting scientific discovery, depending on one’s point of view. The Siskiyou Mountains of Southern Oregon are the scene of just such a find. Amateur cave explorers found the new family of spiders and scientists have dubbed it Trogloraptor - Latin for cave robber – because of its fearsome front claws. After finding these creepy new creatures, the explorers spelunkers sent specimens to the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, which has the West Coast's largest collection of spiders. Entomologists at the academy say the spider - reddish brown and the size of a half dollar – is so unique that it necessitates its own taxonomic family. That hasn’t happened since the 1870s, so the lab-dwelling dorks at the academy are fired up about the find. "It took us a long time to figure out what it wasn't," said Charles Griswold, curator of arachnids at the academy. "Even longer to figure out what it is. We used anatomy. We used DNA to understand its evolutionary place. Then we consulted other experts all over the world about what this was. They all concurred with our opinion that this was something completely new to science. It's a good example of how science works - professional and citizen scientists share information.” Finding a previously unknown family of spiders in a cave is rare because caves tend to keep primitive species from evolving, because they are sheltered from climatic and other changes. The Oregon spider's species name - marchingtoni – is a tribute to Deschutes County sheriff's Deputy Neil Marchington, who was on the first Western Cave Conservancy expedition in 2010 to inventory creepy crawlers in a cave on private land outside Grants Pass. The biggest challenge for researchers so far has been convincing the spiders to behave normally in the artificial cave. The spiders would not eat any of the insects provided to them, so they died. Changecan be difficult after hundreds of years in dark seclusion in a remote cave in the middle of the Oregon wilderness……….


- How dare someone be so audacious as to hand out free lunches to needy children in a downtrodden Pennsylvania neighborhood. Angela Prattis is this brave trend-bucker and she has vowed to continue doling out free meals to children in her ‘hood even after officials there threatened to fine her $600 a day. Prattis was ordered by the Chester Township Council to shut down the makeshift dining room she runs in the driveway of her modest home during the summer months, agreeing to let her finish the summer but demanding she get a zoning variance to resume the operation next summer. "I'm going to continue to feed the children," Prattis said defiantly. "I'm just doing this for the kids. I don't want a big fight. I just want to be in right standing with the town." Prattis, a mother of four, feeds as many as 20 children most days. Those she helps are typically from homes where parents are too poor to provide good lunches to their young ones. The Philadelphia Archdiocese provides the meals, which come in the form of pre-packaged lunches, drinks and snacks. Before the archdiocese agreed to work with Prattis, officials required her to take a preparatory class focusing on nutrition and food safety. "I'm not working with some fly-by-night operation," she declared. "This is the archdiocese, for crying out loud." It would seem logical that someone who moved with her husband and children from the Delaware County Housing Projects to a new neighborhood and wanted to make a difference with free food would be welcomed and not hassled, but such is the creature known as bureaucratic bullsh*t. The leader of the anti-free food charge is councilman William Kennard, who showed up at a meeting of the neighborhood civic association on July 31 and announced that Prattis' free lunch program was unlawful. Two days later, the ass hats on the town council voted to levy a $600-a-day fine for each day Prattis fed the kids. She defied them and no fines were levied, but the council sent her a letter saying she could serve kids until Aug. 24, but must apply for a variance next year. It should be quite the red tape battle……….


- How disappointing is the reality of a Bourne-less Bourne movie? Disappointing enough that a clumsy action movie whose cast is the biggest collection of has-beens and past-their-prime action stars ever assembled was able to curb-stomp it in its second week of release. “The Expendables 2,” led by aged-out stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris, beat down “The Bourne Legacy,” making a modest $28.7 million in its debut weekend. “Bourne” fell to second place, making a meager $17 million for a two-week domestic total of $69.6 million. “ParaNorman” debuted in third place and the animated, kid-friendly “horror” flick garnered $14 million in its first weekend of release. The surprising success of “The Campaign” continued as Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis led their project to fourth place with $13.4 million. Through two weeks, the project has grossed $51.7 million domestically. “Sparkle” claimed fifth place, making for three new films in the top five. Its $12 million opening was extremely respectable for a movie made on a $14 million budget. The Dark Knight Rises” landed in sixth place in its fifth weekend, making $11.1 million for a cumulative domestic haul of $409.9 million. Another newcomer crashed the top 10 party in the seventh slot as “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” opened with $10.9 million to edge out eighth-place finisher “Hope Springs,” which continued as the flag bearer for geezer romantic comedies with $9.1 million in its second week of release and has earned $35 million domestically so far. “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days” snagged ninth place with $3.8 million and has $38.7 million to its credit in three weeks of release. The earnings free fall continued for the bastardized, watered-down remake of “Total Recall,” which plummeted to tenth place in its third weekend and has a paltry $51.7 million so far against a $125 million budget. “Ice Age: Continental Drift” (No. 11), “Ted” (No. 12) and “The Watch” (No. 13) dropped out from last week’s top 10…………

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