- The average human being would be reasonably terrified by a
bearded, 6-foot-6, 335-pound man dressed in black and looking to pile drive
them into the ground. But Arizona
Cardinals quarterback Kevin Kolb has a job that demands he not be terrified of
massive men like Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Tommy Kelly - or at least
conceal his fear well enough to play the quarterback position well enough to
win games. Wheter he is capable of doing that job is up for debate and Kelly is
clearly voting now. After he sacked Kolb in the end zone for a safety in
Oakland's 31-27 loss to the Cardinals on Friday night, Kelly took another shot
at his foe. "He is skittish. He is scared back there," Kelly said.
"Anytime anybody gets close to him he starts looking at the refs. As a
defensive lineman you love a quarterback like that. He ain't even trying to
look at the routes no more. He is paying attention to us and you ain't going to
get nothing done like that." That definitely is not showing respect for a
rival, especially because Kolb is fighting John Skelton for the starting
quarterback job in Arizona. Kold didn’t take kindly to having his
quarterbacking courage called into question and returned fire. "Scared?
Scared of what?" Kolb fumed. "Taking a hit? I have never been afraid
of anyone on the field and that will never change. That includes Number 93
(Kelly). There's a fine line between holding in the pocket and trying to escape
to make a play. Tommy Kelly is too clueless to know the difference.” Now if
only Kolb showed the same toughness and competence on the field that he does
when talking to someone getting a quote for the team’s website, Skelton might
not be leading 1-0 in the touchdown passes category this preseason. The real
shame is that these two teams play in different conferences and only play in
the regular season once every four years……...
- Animal rights kooks like People for the Ethical Treatment
of Animals don’t only torment the United State with their asinine,
varmint-hugging ways. They also make life miserable in places like Siena,
Italy, where the famed Palio bareback
horse race is an annual tradition that brings visitors from literally across
Europe and even the world to see a few horse-riding daredevils speed around
corners and turns along the town’s narrow streets. Unfortunately, the race
doesn’t always go off flawlessly and such was the case Thursday, when six of 10
horses crashed during the latest edition of the event. The crash occurred on
the first curve of the dirt-covered course in Siena's main square, opening the
door for the LAV animal rights group to call for an end to the race. The group
cited Friday’s slight mishap as the "umpteenth confirmation that the Palio
needs to put the safety of the horses and all the participants ahead of
tradition." One of the horses broke a front leg in the collision, giving
more ammunition to critics who have long suggested that the intense race among
the Tuscan city's quarters should be held without animals. Because horses
frequently fall, collide, or are trampled during the race, and some 50 have
died since 1970, apparently that means the race doesn’t work. Once the furor
from this small issue dies down, the Palio will almost certainly go on as
scheduled next year in July and August…………
- Spiders are creepy, crawly and always good fodder for
the squashing power of a rolled-up magazine. The discovery of a new family of
spiders could be a new kind of spider to be smashed or it could be an exciting
scientific discovery, depending on one’s point of view. The Siskiyou Mountains
of Southern Oregon are the scene of just such a find. Amateur cave explorers
found the new family of spiders and scientists have dubbed it Trogloraptor -
Latin for cave robber – because of its fearsome front claws. After finding
these creepy new creatures, the explorers spelunkers sent specimens to the
California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, which has the West Coast's
largest collection of spiders. Entomologists at the academy say the spider -
reddish brown and the size of a half dollar – is so unique that it necessitates
its own taxonomic family. That hasn’t happened since the 1870s, so the
lab-dwelling dorks at the academy are fired up about the find. "It took us
a long time to figure out what it wasn't," said Charles Griswold, curator
of arachnids at the academy. "Even longer to figure out what it is. We
used anatomy. We used DNA to understand its evolutionary place. Then we
consulted other experts all over the world about what this was. They all
concurred with our opinion that this was something completely new to science. It's
a good example of how science works - professional and citizen scientists share
information.” Finding a previously unknown family of spiders in a cave is rare
because caves tend to keep primitive species from evolving, because they are
sheltered from climatic and other changes. The Oregon spider's species name -
marchingtoni – is a tribute to Deschutes County sheriff's Deputy Neil
Marchington, who was on the first Western Cave Conservancy expedition in 2010
to inventory creepy crawlers in a cave on private land outside Grants Pass. The
biggest challenge for researchers so far has been convincing the spiders to
behave normally in the artificial cave. The spiders would not eat any of the
insects provided to them, so they died. Changecan be difficult after hundreds
of years in dark seclusion in a remote cave in the middle of the Oregon
wilderness……….
- How dare someone be so audacious as to hand out free lunches to needy children in a
downtrodden Pennsylvania neighborhood. Angela Prattis is this brave
trend-bucker and she has vowed to continue doling out free meals to children in
her ‘hood even after officials there threatened to fine her $600 a day. Prattis
was ordered by the Chester Township Council to shut down the makeshift
dining room she runs in the driveway of her modest home during the summer
months, agreeing to let her finish the summer but demanding she get a zoning
variance to resume the operation next summer. "I'm going to continue to
feed the children," Prattis said defiantly. "I'm just doing this for
the kids. I don't want a big fight. I
just want to be in right standing with the town." Prattis, a mother of
four, feeds as many as 20 children most days. Those she helps are typically
from homes where parents are too poor to provide good lunches to their young
ones. The Philadelphia Archdiocese provides the meals, which come in the form
of pre-packaged lunches, drinks and snacks. Before the archdiocese agreed to
work with Prattis, officials required her to take a preparatory class focusing
on nutrition and food safety. "I'm not working with some fly-by-night
operation," she declared. "This is the archdiocese, for crying out
loud." It would seem logical that someone who moved with her husband and
children from the Delaware County Housing Projects to a new neighborhood and
wanted to make a difference with free food would be welcomed and not hassled,
but such is the creature known as bureaucratic bullsh*t. The leader of the
anti-free food charge is councilman William Kennard, who showed up at a meeting
of the neighborhood civic association on July 31 and announced that Prattis' free
lunch program was unlawful. Two days later, the ass hats on the town council voted
to levy a $600-a-day fine for each day Prattis fed the kids. She defied them
and no fines were levied, but the council sent her a letter saying she could
serve kids until Aug. 24, but must apply for a variance next year. It should be
quite the red tape battle……….
- How disappointing is the reality of a Bourne-less Bourne
movie? Disappointing enough that a clumsy action movie whose cast is the
biggest collection of has-beens and past-their-prime action stars ever
assembled was able to curb-stomp it in its second week of release. “The
Expendables 2,” led by aged-out stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester
Stallone and Chuck Norris, beat down “The Bourne Legacy,” making a modest $28.7
million in its debut weekend. “Bourne” fell to second place, making a meager
$17 million for a two-week domestic total of $69.6 million. “ParaNorman”
debuted in third place and the animated, kid-friendly “horror” flick garnered
$14 million in its first weekend of release. The surprising success of “The
Campaign” continued as Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis led their project to
fourth place with $13.4 million. Through two weeks, the project has grossed
$51.7 million domestically. “Sparkle” claimed fifth place, making for three new
films in the top five. Its $12 million opening was extremely respectable for a
movie made on a $14 million budget. “The Dark Knight Rises” landed in
sixth place in its fifth weekend, making $11.1 million for a cumulative
domestic haul of $409.9 million. Another newcomer crashed the top 10 party in
the seventh slot as “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” opened with $10.9 million
to edge out eighth-place finisher “Hope Springs,” which continued as the flag
bearer for geezer romantic comedies with $9.1 million in its second week of
release and has earned $35 million domestically so far. “Diary of a Wimpy Kid:
Dog Days” snagged ninth place with $3.8 million and has $38.7 million to its
credit in three weeks of release. The earnings free fall continued for the
bastardized, watered-down remake of “Total Recall,” which plummeted to tenth
place in its third weekend and has a paltry $51.7 million so far against a $125
million budget. “Ice Age: Continental Drift” (No. 11), “Ted” (No. 12) and “The
Watch” (No. 13) dropped out from last week’s top 10…………
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