Wasting time with surveys with obvious results, pissing off Pink Floyd fans and wildfires rage in Western Australia

- I hate it when “scientists” and researchers waste time and money conducting moronic polls designed to “expose” so-called truths that everyone with an IQ above 42 already knew and accepted as fact. You know, stupid sh*t like people like food that tastes better, hate being sick and are generally lazy. Conducting a poll on whether college football fans want to scrap the current Bowl Championship Series and replace it with a playoff system that's similar to college basketball falls directly under that heading. Yes, these Mensas surveyed of 1,849 adults, 948 of whom consider themselves to be very interested or somewhat interested in college football, and 63 percent of those polled favor getting rid of the current system, while 26 percent want to keep it. Aside from ordering immediate psychological and IQ testing for that 26 percent who want to keep the current system, this poll does nothing but inspire complete and total indifference for me. I knew that people hate the BCS system because it caters to a select few and inevitably dicks over the vast majority of college football fans. Unless you are a fan of a premier team in a power conference, you’re not getting a sniff of the national championship game – ever. The BCS is designed solely to make money for the schools and administrators of the six BCS conferences and it does a wonderful job of that – and only that. So what kind of idiot wastes time, effort and resources on this sort of poll? People like Peter Brown, assistant director of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute, that’s who. "College football fans are not in love with the current system in which two teams that play for the national championship are picked by computers, sportswriters and coaches," Brown said. "Settle the question on the field, voters say more than two-to-one." Thanks for that shocking revelation, Pete. When you and your colleagues released your great new national poll on Tuesday, it was a thorough waste of everyone’s time. Researchers also asked participants what solution they would favor in dealing with the menace that is the BCS and once again, the results were painfully predictable. While more fans may favor a playoff system, 48 percent believe it is a bad idea if federal lawmakers force college football to start a playoff system. So half of those surveyed don’t like the idea of government involvement in college athletics? Heck, half the country hates the idea of the government being involved in much of anything, so that’s no shocker. Of course, Congress doesn’t bother listening to the will of the public, so they are plowing ahead with anti-BCS legislation anyhow. Earlier this month, a House subcommittee approved legislation aimed at forcing college football to switch to a playoff system to determine its national champion. The bill would make it illegal for the criminals running the BCS to promote a national championship game "or make a similar representation," unless it results from a playoff. It will now go to the full committee, but temper your excitement because there is no Senate version of the bill. President Barack Obama is one record as saying there should be a playoff system, but how much do you trust a politician to live up to his word if given the chance? The poll that started this rant has a 2.3 percent margin of error, while questions asked of fans have a 3.2 percent margin of error. Do what you will with that…………

- Pink Floyd fans are not a difficult group to piss off. Most of them are old, they are cranky and they are of the firm belief that no good music has been made in the past 25 years. Having said that, it is no surprise that many die-hard Pink Floyd fans aren’t happy about a remake of one of the biggest-selling albums of all time, “Dark Side of the Moon,” by the Flaming Lips. For the musically clueless out there, the Flaming Lips are an awesome psychedelic alternative rock group whose music is alternatingly meandering, hard-rocking and bizarre. I’m certain that the Lips knew there would be a vitriolic reaction from Pink Floyd fans when they set out to remake “Dark Side of the Moon,” but they made it anyhow. They attempted to recreate the surreal, trippy vocals heard on the Pink Floyd record by bringing in Canadian electro-pop singer Peaches and singer and spoken-word artist Henry Rollins. The album hit stores Dec. 29, although the digital version has been available on iTunes since December 22. Almost the instnt the album dropped online, Pink Floyd fans flocked to the Flaming Lips' own Web site to express their outrage. They labeled the remake a “generic & a complete & total flop” and lamented its “Souless & underwhelming” nature. Bitter much, Pink Floyd fans? Most of you would hate a remake of any Floyd album even if it were compiled by the Stones, Aerosmith, Pearl Jam, AC/DC and Nirvana, featuring a suddenly-back-from-the-dead Kurt Cobain. These same disgruntled Floyd fans will probably not be buying tickets to the New Year’s Eve show featuring the Flaming Lips and Star Death and the White Dwarfs performing the album at the Cox Convention Center in their hometown of Oklahoma City. The album itself should come as no surprise; Pink Floyd covers have cropped up in Flaming Lips performances before. As long as it was a song or two at a festival show, Pink Floyd fans didn’t seem to mind. But attempting to make over the signature album from their favorite band is clearly a cause to riot – at least online. Having heard only bits and pieces of the album, I don’t have a huge beef with any of it. Of course, I’m not listening to it completely stoned out of my mind, which is the accepted way to listen to any Pink Floyd album. As such, my advice to Pink Floyd fans is to turn off the computer, back away from the screen and light up a fattie. It will relax you, we won't have to listen to your b*tching any more and we’ll all be happier……or at least calmer and mellower…………

- Never has a reality television show caused such a repulsive, “distance yourself at all costs” reaction quite like MTV's Jersey Shore. Within two weeks of its premiere episode, advertisers were jumping ship at breakneck pace and politicians and activist groups were openly condemning the show and demanding that MTV shut it down. At the heart of this outrage is Jersey Shore’s its stereotypical portrayal of Italian-Americans. To quickly recap, the show features eight self-proclaimed "guidos" and "guidettes" during their summer stay in Seaside Heights, N.J. These are completely self-absorbed, appearance-obsessed idiots who do things like naming their pectoral muscles. Two episodes were enough for three advertisers - Domino's, American Family League and Dell – to pull out. Condemnation came raining down from UNICO, the largest Italian-American organization in the U.S., the New Jersey Italian American Legislative Caucus and other state legislators. But up to this week, we had not heard from anyone directly involved with the show or the town in which it is set. Consider that problem rectified, as the Borough of Seaside Heights, N.J. is distancing itself from Jersey Shore as much as possible. .
"The governing body wants it to be known that they did not solicit, promote or participate in the filming of this show," John Camera, borough administrator, said in a statement. "The production company that filmed the show did obtain a shoot permit to film in Seaside Heights, but these permits must be issued as it is a first amendment right to film in public places. Furthermore, the Borough does not condone any discriminatory remarks against Italian Americans, domestic violence or the promiscuous and otherwise bad behavior portrayed on the show." Camera added that the behavior portrayed on the show is "not indicative" of the majority of its residents. What, you mean all the locals aren’t like The Situation (the dude who named his pecs)? And of course, the show continues to draw strong ratings (2.5 million for the most recent episode), meaning MTV is not inclined to cancel it any time soon……….

- As someone who is not big on New Year’s resolutions and other end-of-the-year gimmicks, I was not part of during the third annual Good Riddance Day this week in Times Square -- the unofficial holiday on which tools lamely attempt to rid themselves of the ending year's setbacks and prepare for a better future. "We decided that people should have time to get over any regrets before New Year's Eve, so a day like this makes sense," said Lori Raimondo, the vice president of marketing for the Times Square Alliance and creator of the event. "We hope one day it becomes a national holiday.” And I hope someone punches you in the face every day for the next 20 years, Raimondo, but I doubt either of those things happen. As I said, year-ending gimmicks are lame to the core. So someone decided that our year begins on January 1 and ends on December 31? That’s pretty freaking arbitrary. It could just as easily be April 1 and March 31. So why wait until the artificial end of the year to make resolutions and changes? Sounds phenomenally stupid to me. Yet there were hundreds of locals and tourists, flocking to Times Square on Monday. These idiots were handed black markers and white sheets of paper emblazoned with "I want to say good riddance to," and asked to write down their problems. Some of these people came prepares with old credit card bills or pictures of fizzled out flames. Everyone threw the sheets and papers and photos into an industrial-size paper shredder to symbolize a cleansing of their life and the possibility of a better new year. "There's something about writing problems down and releasing them," said Rama Mandel from the Bronx. "There's a freedom you feel that just puts you beyond the things holding you back." The event pumped up its attendance by the usual means - Facebook and Twitter alerts. And to think that I considered all of the people who jammed into Times Square on New Year’s Eve to attend the celebration hosted by that teeth-bleaching, man-blouse-wearing ass clown Ryan Seacrest were idiots………

- Life in Western Australia is not good right now. Officials there declared a natural disaster Wednesday after bushfires roared across the state, destroying more than 30 homes. No official cause has been determined, but authorities suspect that downed power lines may by to blame. The most-damaging outbreak to property was around Toodyay – about 46 miles northeast of the capital, Perth. Nearly 11 square miles burned in the blaze and 37 homes lost. "I can say that the fire has started in the vicinity of power infrastructure," Fire and Emergency Services Authority spokesman Craig Hynes explained. As the fires spread, authorities had issued a handful of warnings across the state by Wednesday afternoon. People in Coolgardie, Wiluna and Laverton were all issued warnings, with the fire danger listed as potentially catastrophic in some areas. : "This is a sad and tragic event for many families. The state government is doing what it can to fight the fire and help people who have lost property. There are hundreds of firefighters, volunteer firefighters, police and staff of the shire of Toodyay who are doing an excellent job of protecting the community and facing harsh and difficult conditions," said Colin Barnett, premier of Western Australia. Residents of Toodyay reported difficulty breathing, burning eyes and an inability to see as black smoke came rolling in. Over in Badgingarra, 38 square miles of bush went up in flames. No homes were lost there, but damage was estimated to be in the millions of dollars. Not a good way to finish out the year, but hopefully no lives will be lost in these fires and those affected by them will be able to start the rebuilding process as soon as possible…………