Kansas football dumps a lot of dead weight, the Air Force gets with the times and America gives back potential gains in life expectancy

- Kansas football program sheds dead weight……a lot of it. Under intense pressure from an internal university investigation into his treatment of players and assistant coaches, coach Mark Mangino announced his resignation Thursday. Two years after guiding the team to a 12-1 record and Orange Bowl win, the morbidly obese coach and the university struck a buyout agreement and the program will now move forward without him. The university made the announcement as athletic director Lew Perkins met with players to give them the news. "We appreciate the eight years that Mark has given to rebuilding our football program," Perkins said in a statement. "He and I have reached a mutually satisfactory agreement that reflects the appreciation we have for his efforts on behalf of Kansas football." Not exactly going overboard to say kind things about the big guy, eh Lew? This decision was set in motion last month when the university launched its investigation amidst rampant allegations that Mangino habitually treated players in humiliating, insensitive ways. Many former players came forward to speak out about insensitive, degrading remarks they claim he made to them during games or practice, often in front of others. To be fair, there were many current and former players who came to Mangino’s support and vouched for his influence on their lives. And lest you think my references to his weight are just cruel FAT jokes, listen to what I’m about to say. With the stress of being a Division I college football coach, even a guy in the best possible shape would be worn down. These guys put in ridiculous hours in and out of season, so a man carrying 400-plus pounds like Mangino is a ticking time bomb. Morbid obesity + immense, nonstop stress = fatal heart attack before age 55 every day of the week. On top of that, just stop and think about how unhappy a person who is that FAT has to be. They look in the mirror every day and see their horrible physical condition and are constantly beset by the reality of all that their girth prevents them from doing. They’re the butt of FAT jokes, they’re considered unattractive and they become winded doing the most routine activities, like going up a flight of stairs. Of course Mangino lashed out and treated those around him like crap; that’s how he probably felt internally. Would this be a different story if his overall record at Kansas were 70-28 instead of 50-48? Maybe. But wins and losses don’t make someone a better, more caring person. He may have gotten away with his act if he won more, but the people he (allegedly) treated like garbage would still have been hurt. Worse still, Mangino continued to say prior to his resignation that he had no plans to change his coaching style moving forward. Dude thinks he’s done nothing wrong and that he’s not the problem. Keep telling yourself that and sticking to the Funjuns/doughnuts/pizza/cake/fudge/Big Mac/chocolate diet and you’ll be meeting your own demise, both professionally and life-wise, sooner rather than later, M……….

- Glad to see you join the rest of us in the 21st century, United States Air Force. Just one week after the morons running the Air Force dropped a strict ban prohibition of tattoos on the "saluting arm," the new policy has been deposited right where it belongs: the trahs. A spokeswoman for the Air Force Recruiting Service in San Antonio, Christa D'Andrea, said the rule, which took effect Nov. 25, is no more and that the entire tattoo policy will be reviewed. "It's an effort to standardize the policy for all members of the Air Force," D'Andrea said. Yes, I know that the military is all about conformity and everyone looking ridiculously the same right down to the butt-ugly haircuts, impeccably shined shoes and funny-looking hats, but no tats on your “saluting arm”? That’s just dumb. How dumb is it? Well, the new rule had the potential to impact as many as 17,000 recruits who joined under the delayed entry program. This is 2009, where tats are more common than they have ever been and where a ban on right-arm body art is not only impractical, it’s downright absurd. The Air Force said it did not want tattoos to be seen when an airman salutes, but clearly that decision is being reconsidered. Furthermore, the updated policy also prohibited tattoos on either hand. It was a decidedly up-and-down week for some new recruits who were told they had been disqualified under the new rule even though their tattoos had been approved under previous, more lenient guidelines. What I love about the outcome of this story is that the Air Force admitted that the public outcry and media scrutiny of the new policy contributed to the decision to reconsider the tattoo crackdown. "It was unfortunate there were recruits caught in the middle," D’Andrea said. So there you go, critics who say that nothing good comes from the media. My sympathies go out to the enlistees who were not able to begin basic training this week at Lackland Air Force base because of the new tattoo policy. You all can forfeit your free will, individuality and right to not be humiliated by angry drill sergeants at a future dates………..

- How typical of you, America. We finally start to tackle one health menace and there you go, allowing another one to ravage this nation. According to research published this week in the New England Journal of Medicine, fewer people are smoking -- and therefore less likely to die from cigarette-related causes – but the obesity epidemic is canceling out any potential gains in life expectancy. According to the study, conducted at the National Bureau of Economic Research, by 2020, the typical 18-year-old will gain 0.31 years due to the drop in smoking rates but lose 1.02 years on average due to the obesity epidemic. That means over the next decade, Americans will lose 0.71 years of their life span simply because they are so FAT. If all Americans were a) smart enough not to smoke and b) possessed enough self-control to push away from the buffet table, life expectancy would increase by 3.76 years, according to the study. “Life expectancy is not going to decline," says the study's lead author, Susan T. Stewart, Ph.D., a researcher at the National Bureau of Economic Research. "But it could have risen by that much more if it weren't for the increases in obesity." The good news from this study is that smoking has decreased by 20 percent in the United States in the past 15 years. However, obesity has increased by 48 percent over the same period. One smoke-free step forward, two FAT steps back. Both maladies impact overall health, especially heart health, and obesity also contributes to heart disease, diabetes, joint problems, stroke, and some sleep disorders. What should truly disturb all of us is that, according to this study, 45 percent of the population will be obese by 2020. This study is the first to examine the combined effects of obesity and smoking, so its results are especially interesting. "No one ever has really done quite this linkage between smoking and obesity," says S. Jay Olshansky, Ph.D., a professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at the School of Public Health at the University of Illinois at Chicago. "Some people have suggested we're on the verge of dramatic increases in life expectancy because of reductions in smoking, but these authors are saying, 'Hold on a minute; the negative effect of obesity is much greater.'" This goes to show that sitting on your FAT ass, watching TV and pounding Big Mac’s and fudge can be just as lethal and cramming cancer sticks into your mouth and lighting up. Ironically, many experts believe that reversing the obesity epidemic will be just as difficult, if not moreso, than stemming the tide of smoking. Never have I understood people’s preoccupation with doing things that are so harmful to themselves, so I’d encourage Americans to step their game up, throw away the cigarettes and cigars and say goodbye to the fast food……….

- Speaking of obesity, a brief warning for those of your trying to lose weight with the help of all Slim-Fast ready-to-drink products served in cans, regardless of flavor, best-by dates, lot code or UPC number: Don’t drink those cans. Unilever, the maker of Slim-Fast, announced a recall of its canned, ready-to-drink products due to possible bacterial contamination. The recall applies only to Slim-Fast products even though Unilever also makes products like Skippy peanut butter and Ragu pasta sauce. Apparently the drinks may be tainted by Bacillus cereus, which can cause diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, and apparently these things aren’t all that appealing to consumers. U.S. Food and Drug Administration spokeswoman Rita Chappelle said the recall affects 10 million cans distributed in the United States, some of which are still in warehouses or on store shelves. Those cans will be pulled from circulation immediately, but if you have some of the tainted cans, you are urged to discard them immediately and contact the company at 1-800-896-9479 for a full refund. At this point, Unilever is still in the process of identifying and correcting the production problem that led to the contamination. Meanwhile, the FDA is currently investigating the company's production facility in Covington, Tenn after being notified by Unilever of the possible contamination on Dec. 2, The recall does not apply to other Slim-Fast branded products, such as powdered shakes, meal bars or snack bars. Just don’t let this small scare affect you if you are making a legitimate effort to lose weight, because even vomiting, nausea and diarrhea are not as bad as dying 30 years too soon because you were 150 pounds overweight………

- I know that football coaches, especially at the professional level, do not typically dispense driving advice to their players. In a 48-hour span, two different Minnesota Vikings players were pulled over for driving in excess of 100 mph, which is well above the speed limit even in a barren, sparsely populated tundra like Minnesota. First, running back Adrian Peterson was cited for driving 109 mph in a 55 mph zone. Video footage of the traffic stop show Peterson reacting with surprise when he was informed how fast he was going. "How fast you think you were going?" an Edina police officer asked him. When Peterson replied, "85," the officer replied, "You think you were 30 over the limit? I got you going 109." Clearly his lesson did not resonate with Peterson’s teammate receiver Bernard Berrian, who was dinged Monday night for driving 104 mph in a 60 mph zone on Interstate 694 in suburban Oakdale. Two words for you, Vikings fans: Uh-oh! Neither player received special treatment from police, which is odd because when your team is 10-1 and a legitimate Super Bowl contender, you’d think two of the team’s top offensive players could get away with topping the century mark while behind the wheel. And who knows, the officer who stopped Berrian may have given him special treatment – if only he had a clue who Berrian was. The state trooper who pulled Berrian over apparently did not realize he had stopped a member of the Vikings. At least he didn’t go to the tried-and-true athlete play of pulling the “Do you know who I am?” card, which never works anyhow. All in all, I think now would be a time for coach Brad Childress to sit his entire 53-man roster down and have a little chat with them about safe driving. I don’t need to see Brett Favre and Sidney Rice post matching speeding tickets this coming week for driving 112 and 108 mph, respectively, in 50- and 55-mph zones. I know you fellas are NFL players and you’re used to getting away with most anything, along with living a fast-paced lifestyle, but feel free to keep the speedometer in double-digits if you can manage it………