Thursday, December 03, 2009

Once again the Grammys show what a joke they are, one man's quest to become a Tom Hanks character and new music by The Arcade Fire forthcoming

- Well this shouldn’t further fortify my ironclad argument that the Grammy Awards are the biggest farce in the world of music. When the three artists receiving the most nominations for your awards show are Beyonce, Taylor Swift and the Hack Eyed Peas, you are officially a musical farce. Forget the lame-tastic concert the Grammys rolled out for the announcement of the nominations; they should have staged a three-ring circus or comedy show, both of which would have been far more appropriate. Beyonce scored nominations in each of the big three categories for the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards and received 10 total nods, including album of the year for "I Am...Sasha Fierce," record of the year for "Halo" and song of the year for "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)."
Swift, who straddles the line between two crappy genres (country and pop) and is crap-tacular in both, also received nominations in the top three categories: album of the year for "Fearless," and record of the year and song of the year for "You Belong With Me" as part of her eight nominations. But perhaps nothing pisses me off more than any awards show, anywhere and at any time, nominating the Hack Eyed Peas for anything. These poseurs crank out over-produced, lyrically brain-dead, artififcal, sugar-sweet pop music while wearing some of the loudest, most egregiously awful outfits known to man. They suck in a way that completely redefines the word suck, to be blunt. Yet there they are, helping to fill out a truly ridiculous race for album of the year. None of the nominees for that abortion of an award would be in the top 1,000 on the list of the year’s best albums for anyone with any musical taste at all. In case you’re wondering, the nominees are Beyonce's "I Am...Sasha Fierce," the Black Eyed Peas' "The E.N.D.," Lady Gaga's "The Fame," Dave Matthews Band's "Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King" and Taylor Swift's "Fearless."
All three of the artists I took time to rightfully rip at the top of this paragraph are also facing off in the record of the year category, where the nominees are Beyonce's "Halo," the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling," Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody," Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" and Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me."

If I were Kings of Leon, I’d be so ashamed by being lumped in with those other four ass clowns that I’d ask to have my nomination withdrawn. Not that this in any way validates the Grammys at all, but the one category in which at least four of the nominees don’t completely suck is the best rock album category, where the nominees are "Black Ice" by AC/DC, "Live From Madison Square Garden" by Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood, "21st Century Breakdown" by Green Day, "Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King" by the Dave Matthews Band and "No Line on the Horizon" by U2. As always, there were a few oddball nominations tucked amidst the 109 categories nominated for the 52nd Grammy Awards; Johnny Depp, for example, is nominated in the category of best album notes alongside Douglas Brinkley for "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson - Music From The Film."
Should you have an inexplicable hankering for the complete list of nominees for this absurd exercise in self-aggrandizement and pomposity, you can find that list at Grammy.com. In order to qualify for a Grammy nomination this year, the eligibility period for releases was from Oct. 1, 2008 - Aug. 31, 2009 -- one month shorter than the typical eligibility period due to an earlier Grammy Awards show during the awards-heavy first few months of the year. The actual awards farce, er, show will be held on Jan. 31 and telecast on CBS. If you can’t figure it out by now, I won't be watching no matter when it’s held…………

- I’ve always preferred college basketball over the pro game, but if there were more NBA players like my man Ron Artest, I may have to reconsider that stance. No, I’m not talking about Artest’s absolute nuttiness, his borderline insanity or his tenacious on-court persona. Nor am I referring to what he brings to a team to help it win, although all of these things are certainly present. What I am talking about is the story that Artest is currently selling about allegedly liquoring up at halftime of games early in his career. That’s right, dude claims he used to down a few swigs of Hennessy in the locker room at halftime. . "I used to drink Hennessy ... at halftime," Artest said in a recent interview. "I [kept it] in my locker. I'd just walk to the liquor store and get it." Awesome. Just…..awesome. I don’t know if he kept it in a special flask or perhaps an innocuous Gatorade water bottle to conceal the booze, but it almost doesn’t matter. What’s better than the mental image of a guy whose team is out on the court battling and doing its best to focus, bear down and defeat an opponent and one of its key players is turning halftime into happy hour at the local pub? Artest said he drank when he played for the Chicago Bulls, where he played for his first three seasons (1999-2002). According to him, he did not continue the practice during subsequent stops in Indiana, Sacramento, Houston and now Los Angeles. Part of me wonders if he was hitting the Hennessy at halftime of the 2004 game in Detroit when the brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills occurred and he charged into the stands to pummel the wrong fan for throwing a cup of beer at him while he lay on the scorer’s table after a bad call. Was Ron-Ron just angry that someone was wasting good booze? He’s telling this story now, but it’s clearly not the first time he’s shared it because former teammate Chuck Hayes was asked about the story and his response seemed to indicate that he’d heard it before. Hayes, who played with Artest in Houston, said he didn’t believe that Artest actually drank during halftime of games, but I’m not sure I’d put anything past Ron-Ron, to be honest. To hear Artest talk, his wild ways are behind him even though he is still clearly a certifiably insane loon. He claims to have tamed his wild lifestyle, although he still likes to party and have fun. "When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild," he told the magazine. "A lot of marijuana and alcohol -- even before [that age]. ... I [still] party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night." That sort of activity I could not care less about; the drinking during games interests me. Any random slug can go out and get their drink on at the nearest bar or in their home on any given night, but there are only about 360 guys in the world at any given time with the opportunity to liquor up right in the middle of an NBA game for which they are being paid tens of thousands of dollars to play. Of those 360 men, only Ron Artest is willing to take the chance and for that, he has my fandom and support………


- Sweeet! There is so much terrible music released every year that when a good album by a good artist comes along, I appreciate it even more than I probably should. Hearing that Canadian indie rockers The Arcade Fire will soon be back with their first new album in nearly three years is that sort of good news. For the musically uninformed, The Arcade Fire’s sound is…..well, it’s an amazing mix or instrumentation, it’s eccentric, eclectic and layered while still rocking out. The band burst onto the scene with 2003's "Funeral" and has since release two albums, a self-titled project in 2005 and 2007's "Neon Bible." Details about their new album are scarce at this point, but what we do know is that the band is nearing completion of the project and plans to return to the stage in 2010. Early reports have it projected for a release some time in May and as for touring plans, they would be The Arcade Fire’s first live performances since Jan. 21, when the group played at the Obama Campaign Staff Ball at the DC Armory following the presidential inauguration. Not surprisingly, it was revealed that the band has spent the past six months entrenched in the studio with producer Markus Dravs, working on the album. When your sound is as intricate and varied as TAF’s, going in and ripping through an album in a couple of weeks just isn't how business is done. Dravs has worked with the likes of Coldplay, Bjork and Brian Eno, and served as engineer on "Bible," so there should be a certain degree of continuity in the sound, depending of course on what direction the band wants to go in terms of their sound. Asked about the sound of the new songs, Dravs reportedly called the band's new songs "better.” Hmm…..cryptic, yet encouraging. Look for a single to hit the air early next year, although being the sort of person who doesn’t bother listening to the radio for music (mostly because I boast the world’s best iTunes collection), that’s not a huge deal for me. No tour plans are definite, but a band of The Arcade Fire’s stature obviously has quite a few offers and is expected to take a top slot at one or more of the major North American summer festivals. I would expect the new album to be the most successful commercially of the band’s soon-to-be four releases, with "Funeral" having sold 466,000 copies in the United States and "Neon Bible" having sold 420,000 thus far. "Funeral" has also been named one of the top albums of the decade by multiple music media outlets and if you haven’t listened to it by this point, I’d say now is the time to change that……..


- Well this is absolutely shocking, to say the least. A doctor who exposed the torture of jailed protesters in Iran died of poisoning from a delivery salad laced with an overdose of blood pressure medication, according to an autopsy conducted after his unexpected passing. Ramin Pourandarjani, a doctor at Kahrizak, a prison on Tehran's outskirts where hundreds of opposition protesters were taken, laid bare some details of the torture of prisoners arrested following the bogus re-election of dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Those revelations were a major back eye for the country's clerical leadership and security forces. The scene at the prison became so ugly that Iran's supreme leader was forced to close it down. Pourandarjani eventually testified to a parliamentary committee and reportedly told them that a young protester he treated died from severe torture. He said he was also forced by security officials to list the cause of death as meningitis rather than the actual cause – abuse and torture. Then all of a sudden, Pourandarjani died on Nov. 10 in mysterious circumstances. Initially officials claimed he was in a car accident, then their story became that he either had a heart attack or committed suicide. Thankfully, an autopsy was performed and forensic tests showed that the doctor died of "poisoning by drugs" that matched doses of propranolol found in a salad that was delivered to him. Propranolol is used to treat high blood pressure, rapid heart rate and tremors, and can be lethal in high doses. Now call me cynical, but a lethal dose of a drug that could obviously be found inside a prison to treat patients finds its way into the salad of a doctor who exposed embarrassing secrets about prisoner abuse at another facility by the government…..sounds fishy, no? Opposition groups seem to agree with me that . Ramin Pourandarjani was killed because of what he knew. Investigators say they are still trying to determine whether the death was murder or suicide, but I’ll go ahead and assume that they are either lying or stupid, possibly both. The key witness in the case, the restaurant delivery man, told investigators that he gave the salad directly to Pourandarjani and described how the doctor took it from him at the door of his room, then closed the door behind him. I wouldn’t expect this guy to change his story any time soon unless he too would like to find his way into a shallow grave sooner rather than later. Iranian police are insisting that Pourandarjani was simply distraught over failure to fulfill his duties treating prisoners. If you can talk yourselves into believing that load of horse crap, Iraqi police, then you are far more skilled at self-deception than I’ll ever be……….


- It’s a scene right out of the Tom Hanks movie "The Terminal," sort of. Feng Zhenghu is indeed stuck in political and diplomatic limbo inside an airport, but unlike Hanks’ character, his home country has not ceased to exist. Feng is a Chinese citizen who has moved into Narita (Tokyo) Airport's international arrival concourse for the past month because his home country has denied him re-entry on eight seprarate occasions. Rather than accept the rejection and make himself comfortable living in Japana for the time being, he’s holding the proverbial boombox over his head and standing out in front of the house of the girl he loves (in this case, China), blasting cheesy ‘80s music while rain pours down, pleading to be let inside. Four times he boarded planes and landed in Shanghai before Chinese immigration turned him around and the other four times Japanese officials didn't let him board the plane, saying he'd be refused entry. Ironically, he’s never been given an official reason for the rejection, although Feng suspects it's due to his prior work in China as a human rights activist. After the eighth rejection, Feng decided that enough was enough and that he would make his case a public spectacle by refusing to leave the airport until he was guaranteed re-admittance into China. To promote his cause, he took two of his t-shirts and wrote messages in Chinese and English explaining that he is a Chinese citizen refused entry into China. He began walking up and down the concourse, encouraging fellow passengers to stop and read his shirts. He’s also making use of technology, exploiting his mobile connection and the camera in his cell phone to blog, tweet and update the world on his saga. "27th day, hot water," Feng tweeted. On one lonely day, "Silence is the loudest sound." As a quick aside, that sounds like the journal entry for the central character in a bad adventure movie after he or she has been stranded in the jungle for weeks on end with no food and little water. The design of the airport is posing a challenge for Fend, as there aren't any restaurants in the arrival concourse before customs. That has forced Feng to rely on the kindness of flight crews and travelers to drop off food as they pass by. They’ve brought biscuits, pizza and even salad. Feng was so pumped by the pizza that he snapped a picture of it and posted it on his blog. Initially airport officials figured he would give up and accept his fate after a few days, possibly even accepting Japan’s offer of asylum. Instead, he’s forged on without hot showers, without regular food and without a clue as to when his odyssey will end. Feng is entering his second month in residence and Yoshiyuki Kurita, Narita's Vice President of Security, says he's growing concerned. "I really like Mr. Feng," says Kurita, who now considers Feng a friend. "That's why I want him to enter Japan, for the sake of his health. My wish is that he voluntarily enters Japan. This is not a place to live. I really hope he understands this. We don't need a Tom Hanks at this airport." Airport security could technically escort Feng into Japan, but Kurita would rather he do it willingly. Just don’t expect the Chinese government to cave and suddenly grow enough of a heart to allow Feng back in. "China's relevant government agencies will adhere to appropriate regulations and entry-exit laws to address this issue," said China's Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman, Qin Gang. So the question is how long Feng will keep up his protest and the answer came in one of his recent tweets. Feng wrote that he's getting used to his new life, plans to wait it out as long as he can stand it and that, "It is when the majority of Chinese have learned about my story that I shall return to my homeland." Hope you like being a permanent resident of the arrival concourse, Feng………

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