Saturday, December 12, 2009

More suffering for Steelers fans, an al Qaeda apology straight from the horse's ass' mouth and Disney finally has a black princes

- Nothing warms the heart during the holiday season quite like your local municipality threatening to fine you $40 for hanging a two-foot by eight-foot banner reading "You're in Steelers Country" from your front porch. The sign, supporting the freefalling Pittsburgh Steelers as they bumble their way out of the playoff race, belongs to Frank Patti and his wife, Alissa Myers. To be fair, they were rocking the banner proudly all the way back in September, back when most people still believe the Steelers were good. But the local government in Penbrook, Pa. informed Patti and his wife that their banner violated a local zoning ordinance. Penbrook leaders say couple must take it down from their front porch or pay a $40 fee. "It's not offensive to anybody unless you're an Eagles fan," Patti said. "As far as I'm concerned, you can put up any sign you want." Faced with a massive $40 fine or bowing The Man and taking the banner down, he and his wife elected to turn to the one entity sure to support anyone at any time, no matter how ridiculous, wrong or offensive their cause: the American Civil Liberties Union. Patti and Myers contacted the ACLU for help in resolving the matter and shock of all shocks, it appears that may have been the right choice – for once. "We just got a response letter from the borough today, and it does look like they want to correct their ordinance," ACLU staff attorney Valerie Burch said Thursday. "We haven't had a chance to speak with the lawyer from the borough, but we're definitely talking about resolving this issue.” Penbrook solicitor Bruce Foreman backed up those words, saying he's looking forward to "working together in good faith" with the ACLU. "We're not going to do anything without sitting down and reviewing it," Foreman said. "We would be happy to review their suggestions.” According to Burch, the ACLU is interested in settling the matter out of court. As for Patti, he sees the Steelers banner as a sign of something bigger, a cog in the machine of basic American freedoms, if you will. "That's our freedom, right there," Patti said, pointing to the black and gold sign. "If we want to support our team, then by all means, I think we should." Stay tuned, because I think for once, we may actually be headed for a peaceful resolution in a matter where the ACLU is involved and it’s oh, so rare to say that…………

- I asked the question and gradually, the answer is coming in. When Sir Richard Branson unveiled his shiny new rocket plane Monday to take “ordinary” folks to outer space, I mused on just who the heck would be forking over $200,000 for the privilege of spending literally 10 minutes in space inside of a long metal tube before falling back to Earth. So far, a few people have signed up for the flights, which begin in 2011. The biggest name to sign up so far is former "Dallas" star, who has her name on the list for the VSS Enterprise, which was unveiled Monday in the Mojave Desert by Branson and Burt Rutan. "Going into space fulfills many desires I have of seeing the planet, going fast, going someplace very few people have been -- and hopefully coming back down!" Principal said of her decision. This isn't the biggest surprise, as Principal is something of an adrenaline junkie. In her down time from pitching skin-care products, she’s an amateur race car driver and says space travel has always been her fantasy. She actually wrote a TV movie script 30 years ago about the first female astronaut, although I’m guessing the plot was nothing like what she’s going to experience her. What’s jacked up about Branson’s enterprise is that regardless of what order they sign up and pay in, passengers for the flights will be chosen at random. In other words, even though Principal was the third person to sign up for a flight on the two-pilot, six-passenger craft, she’s not guaranteed to be one of the first to take a flight. Of course, Branson and his family will be on board the first voyage, but you’d think that being the third person to sign up would secure you a seat on the next flight. Even so, Principal says she’s extremely excited about the experience and sees herself as something of a pioneer. "I'm a passenger in something that is pioneering," she said. "This will become to our great-grandchildren what Wilbur and Orville Wright were to you and me." Right, except they discovered flight and you’re merely wasting an obscene amount of money for a cheap, bargain-basement space-travel experience in which you won't even need a space suit or spend a full day in space. Other than that, you’re exactly like the Wright brothers………


- Now that’s what I call a birthday party. When an unidentified cadet at Norwich (Conn.) University held his birthday party on campus, two of his fellow cadets decided that the best way to help him celebrate his big day was to violently assault him. Police say the incident happened ago in Goodyear Hall, a residence hall on the Norwich campus. A dozen freshman cadets called rookies held a traditional birthday initiation for another rookie. The initiation typically involves being covered with shaving cream and getting your legs and chest shaved. So it’s safe to say that this cadet knew he was going to receive a little bit of hazing, but what he probably wasn’t expecting was to have another cadet blast him in the ground, put a laundry bag over his head, choke him and hit him in the face and head with the assaulter’s junk. That assaulter would be Michael Masse, who clearly decided that the normal birthday hazing just wasn’t enough. He was joined by cadet Jonathan Philbrook, who also allegedly punched the victim. Masse was permitted to plead innocent via mail to charges of assault and prohibited sex acts this week, while Philbrook appeared in court to be charged with assault for allegedly punching the victim. His lawyer tried to get the charge dropped at the hearing, but the judge didn’t seem all that enthused about the idea given the fact that police had videotape and still photos of Philbrook striking the victim-- and Philbrook himself was the photographer. This is quite a turnaround in the case given the fact that Northfield police did not learn about the alleged assaults until three days after the incident and only then because the victim's mother called the authorities wondering how the investigation was going. Northfield Police Chief Jeffrey Shaw says his investigators then got a subpoena and Norwich turned over their evidence including the videotape and still photos taken by Philbrook. School officials say that the decision to call local police about on-campus crimes is made by the alleged victim, not the school itself. "One of the first things that we do is to counsel the victim that they can involve police," said Daphne Larkin of Norwich University. "It is their choice, so that's what we do." Way to stand up for your students, Norwich. Make your campus into a world unto itself where people can get away with any crime as long as they can intimidate their victim into staying quiet………..


- It’s finally here, everyone. After decades and decades of Disney’s princesses all looking alarmingly alike in terms of race and ethnicity, the entertainment conglomerate has finally added an African-American princess to its line of royals. The barrier-breaker will be Princess Tiana, the star of the new animated film "Princess and the Frog." The plot features Tiana as a determined waitress and chef who gets sidetracked from her dreams of business success by a smooth-talking frog prince. But just having a black princess isn't enough for some people; critics pointed out that Princess Tiana spends most of her time in the movie as a frog. Still more critics decided to b*tch about the plot and characters of an animated movie by claiming that the film's combination of voodoo and alligator sidekicks in the setting of New Orleans, Louisiana -- a city still trying to heal racial wounds exacerbated by Hurricane Katrina -- was a decision made in poor taste. Thankfully, most parents aren’t buying into those claims and audience reviews for the movie have been extremely positive. These parents are choosing not to pick out minute, harmless and innocuous details and blow them up into controversy, but instead to look at Princess Tiana as hopefully the first of many black Disney princesses to come. That’s all well and good even though I maintain that looking to fictional characters, especially animated ones, as role models by which to inspire your children is pathetic at best and ridiculous at worst, big ups to Princess Tiana. It took Disney more than 70 years to finally feature a black princess in a movie and that is something that we should all be able to get with……….


- Apology not accepted, al Qaeda. Everyone’s least-favorite international terrorist group is apparently looking to make nice with the families of the thousands of people that they have senselessly slaughtered, shot, blown up or otherwise killed in extremely gruesome fashion. With a massive U.S. troop surge set to descend on its former stomping grounds in Afghanistan, an al Qaeda spokesman Saturday released a new audio message in English, attempting to apologize for the group’s murderous actions. Adam Gadahn, also known as Azzam the American, appeared in a 17-minute video released on Islamist online forums, offering condolences to the families of innocent people killed in al Qaeda attacks. He first reiterated the group’s hateful, maniacal purpose and stated once again that al Qaeda "have condemned and continue to condemn" all attacks by Western powers or "secular political forces." However, if you’ve had a loved one killed in one of al Qaeda’s senseless terrorist acts, Gadahn had a message for you. "We express our condolences to the families of the Muslim men, women and children killed in these criminal acts and we ask Allah to have mercy on those killed and accept them as shohadaa (martyrs)," he says in the video. "We also express the same in regard to the unintended Muslim victims of the mujahedeen's operations against the crusaders and their allies and puppets, and to the countless faceless and nameless Muslim victims of the murderous crusades." Wow, that’s pretty much the worst apology I’ve ever heard, al Qaeda. Tiger Woods and his lame-o Web site apologies for cheating on his wife with a dozen of more skanks across the United States thinks you need to step your game up. Oddly, the video did not address the troop surge, although Gadahn did issue a general warning to any countries partnering with the United States in the region. "Those who have made the foolish decision to stand with America and its allies in their losing war against Islam ... you have not only betrayed Islam and Muslims and left the fold of faith, but you have also caused the destabilization of nations and the displacement ... of thousands of weak and oppressed people," Gadahn said. "The blood of countless Muslims is on your hands, and the security and very future of the countries you claim to defend and serve has been placed in jeopardy because your external enemies are taking advantage of your heedlessness as you fight and kill your fellow countrymen for American dollars." So what do you think, world? Do you feel better about all of the people murdered by these terrorist tools now that they’ve issued an apology without really apologizing at all? I’m thinking not………

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