Another pro wrassler dies young, kangaroo smuggling and accidentally giving out phone sex line numbers

- And the disturbing trend continues. Current and former professional wrestlers dying young is an alarming trend that shows no signs of ending any time soon. Former WWE superstar Edward Fatu, better known as "Umaga," died Friday of a heart attack in a Houston, Texas, hospital. Fatu’s contract was terminated by the WWE in June for having violated the WWE's Wellness Program and refusing to enter rehab. During his time with the company, he was a two-time Intercontinental champion and competed against current stars like Triple H, John Cena and Ric Flair. His death puts him in the same category as men like Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Curt “Mr. Perfect” Hennig, all of whom died before age 45. Those are just three names on a list that spans literally dozens and dozens of former wrasslers, leading one to a discomfiting conclusion that being a professional wrestler is hazardous to your health – and I’m not talking about the chair shots and steel-cage matches. In case you’re not all that great at reading between the lines, I’m referring to the rampant use of steroids among pro wrasslers. This phenomenon is not exclusive to WWE, but owner Vince McMahon did go before Congress to be grilled about the use of ‘roids in his “sport” about two decades ago. Make no mistake about it, steroids are still an integral part of pro wrestling, even if the WWE insists that it has a testing program that discourages usage. There is no possible way for its performers to be as big, as chiseled and as fast as they are naturally, period. Thirty-six-year-old guys simply don’t drop dead of heart attacks like Fatu did, not unless there are complicating factors. And who knows, perhaps an autopsy will turn up some sort of heart abnormality or other congenital condition that led to his death. I’m simply saying that it’s much more likely that we’ll find out that he used steroids at some point during his career and his very dismissal from WWE would seem to back that up. This is a guy who was a member of the famous Anoa'i wrestling family, which includes cousin Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, his two uncles, who wrestled as The Wild Samoans in the 1980s, and brothers, Sam "Tonga Kid" and Solofa Jr. "Rikishi," so he knew how the game worked. I’d love to be proven wrong on this one, but I just don’t see it happening………

- What is going on with institutions of higher learning and governments giving out sex line numbers by accident? Last season, the University of Central Florida gave media members the number to a phone sex line when sending out information for head coach George O’Leary’s weekly teleconference. Bewildered (or slightly turned-on) media members dialed the wrong number and found themselves talking to girls looking for their credit card info and bedroom fantasies. Now Florida Gov. Charlie Crist has committed a similar gaffe and directed people calling to enroll in the Florida KidCare program to a phone number you’d call for “hot, horny girls.” When callers dial initially, they are put on hold and receive a recorded message from the governor, who then gives them another number to call. Unfortunately for Crist, he transposes a couple of numbers and turns the phone number into a very different sort of experience for the caller. The bizrre part of this is that this phone sex line has also made its way into the following as well: a misprint in the West Palm Beach annual report on water quality which directed readers to the recording, a former Medicare info line in Pittsburgh which now directs callers to the recording and the phone book for FasTrack, the city of San Francisco’s version of Florida’s SunPass for drivers using the state’s turnpike system. When callers dial the number, they hear the following: “Hey there, sexy guy. Welcome to an exciting new way to go live, one on one, with hot, horny girls waiting right now to talk to you.” Curiously, nothing about health care for kids, Medicare information, West Palm Beach financial information or buying a pass for your state’s turnpike system. Next time, elect a governor who does not suffer from mild dyslexia, Florida voters…….

- Everyone, how many times have I warned you all about illegal kangaroo smuggling? It has to be in the triple digits by now, but clearly some of you aren’t listening or else I would not be saying what I am about to say. An unidentified (good that he’s unidentified or else I would know whose ass to kick) Indonesian man was arrested by police as he offloaded 10 rare kangaroos from his boat in the East Java provincial capital of Surabaya on Friday. Indonesian police nabbed the suspect as he attempted to smuggle the creatures back onto dry land after taking them from New Guinea island. Sadly, five of the kangaroos had already died by the time the police stopped this debacle. The five surviving kangaroos — of a small, rain forest-dwelling variety — were given to a Surabaya animal sanctuary, where they will hopefully survive and live happy lives. Illegal trade in rare, exotic animals is an expanding problem in Indonesia, where law enforcement tends to do a significantly below-average job of enforcing any laws. Should he be convicted, the suspect faces up to five years in jail and a $11,000 fine for violating Indonesian conservation laws. Look, I know that kangaroos are native only to Australia and New Guinea, so everyone else in the world is basically screwed if they want to own one. But either move to Australia or New Guinea or go to your local zoo, because clearly bad things happen when idiots who don’t know any better attempt to illegally smuggle kangaroos across international borders. You all are not smart enough to pull this sort of effort off, so try smuggling something else, such as drugs, plants or insects……..

- There was not a full slate of college football today, sadly, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t find plenty of exciting action on the field. The first big game of the day was also the best game of the day. Fifth-ranked Cincinnati took on Pittsburgh in snowy, windy conditions at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, fell behind 31-10 and rallied for a miraculous 45-44 victory that thrust the Bearcats into an automatic BCS bid. Pitt helped by snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, showcasing a porous defense that matched Cincinnati’s effort on D in allowing Pitt freshman running back Dion Lewis to rip off nearly 200 yards and three touchdowns. Yet Cincinnati quarterback Tony Pike overcame three interceptions to lead his team to the game-winning score, which came after both teams had missed extra points on crucial late-game touchdowns. Receiver/return man Mardy Gilyard also had a huge day, carrying Cincinnati with almost 400 yards total between kick returns and receptions, including a touchdown of 67 yards or more both receiving and returning. The drama wasn’t nearly as high in the SEC championship game, where No. 2 Alabama curb-stomped No. 1 Florida so badly that all-everything UF quarterback Tim Tebow was left in tears after the game. The 32-13 beatdown vaults ‘Bama into the (bogus) BCS title game against Texas, which defeated Nebraska 13-12 (more on that shortly). Idiots who don’t bother to pay enough attention to college football will argue that Alabama running back Mark Ingram’s 186 total yards and three rushing touchdowns in this game make him the Heisman Trophy favorite. Umm, not really. He still has less rushing yards, less total yards and less touchdowns than Stanford running back Toby Gearhart, whose team had a very good year at 8-4 and who deserves college football’s highest individual honor more than anyone else this season. The Big 12 title game was a major snooze-fest, with Nebraska looking to ugly the game up because it lacked the offensive firepower to compete with Texas and hanging in to the end before bowing out on a last-second UT field goal for a one-point loss. Nebraska didn’t help it’s cause by ineptly kicking the ball out of bounds on a kickoff with less than two minutes left, thereby handing Texas the ball at their own 40-yard line and then committing a stupid pass interference penalty to hand UT another 15 yards to gift-wrap a win. Another team completing an undefeated season was No. 6 Boise State, which pummeled hapless New Mexico State 42-7 to finish 13-0 and all but assure itself of a BCS at-large berth despite constantly being overlooked and dismissed in the discussion of college football’s best teams. The Broncos are 13-0, the beat a beastly Oregon team that everyone seems to love these days and they have gotten the job done every week, period. They should be headed to a BCS bowl, no questions asked, and it’s fairly certain that they will be. But perhaps the most impressive victory of the weekend may well have bee Division III Mount Union, which absolutely buried Albright 55-3 in a national quarterfinal game to run its record to 13-0 and advance to the national semifinals again. Why is that so impressive? For one, Mount Union has won 10 of the past 16 D-III national titles – that’s 10 of 16. Don’t belittle them because they are Division III, because they are playing Division III opponents and so that sort of domination is amazing at any level. Also, in three playoff games this season, Mount has outscored its opponents 177-17, which is absolutely staggering to say the least. So the college football regular season – the Division I portion, that is – is all but done. This Saturday’s Army-Navy game is all that’s left, so it’s on to the bowl season………

- I see the effort you are making and I am behind it 105.5 percent, New Delhi, India. Any city that wants to curb people taking a leak in public whenever they feel like it is a friend of mine. This is a major problem in India, especially in its capital, which has launched a campaign to discourage urinating in public places -- a common sight across the country. The crackdown on public pissing comes as New Delhi prepares to host the Commonwealth Games in October of next year. To make sure that the message is clear, the city will soon be displaying large billboards along its gridlocked roads and on buses in a bid to embarrass those who continue to relieve themselves in public – as if they shouldn’t already be sufficiently embarrassed. Three colorful, charismatic characters will lead the new campaign: Mr Thu-Thu Kumar (the spitter), Mr Kuda Kumar (the litterbug) and Mr Su-Su Kumar (the person who pees in public). "The capital of India must be clean. We see how clean are places like Singapore. Then, why not Delhi?" Mayor Kanwar Sain said. The campaign will also have radio and television arms, meaning that it will be all but impossible to escape the message that you need to stop peeing in plain sight of others in public settings. Urinating, spitting and littering in public are acts punishable with a fine of $10 or more in New Delhi, which doesn’t seem like much until you consider how much that amount is for the average New Delhi resident. Poverty reigns in this city and that sort of fine is actually a fairly stiff punishment. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to double it, so let’s look into doing that, k? Meanwhile, experts say that merely cracking down on public urination is not enough. To meet its sanitation needs, some analysts say that New Delhi needs at least 40,000 more well-maintained urinals and bathrooms. Nationally, India must build 112,000 toilets every day if it wants to meet its sanitation goal by 2012, according to the ministry of rural development. This may seem like a rudimentary matter, but for a country seeking to build a reputation as a global economic power, having millions of its citizens still live in poverty and filth is a decided mark in the “con” column. The government estimates that less than 30 percent of villagers have access to latrines, which is obviously a major problem. Having said all of that, I am on board with the new campaign and will be rooting for its success………