Lady guards becoming popular in Egypt, the Cowboys replace on erratic kicker with another and weekend movie news

- I see a trend in Egypt that I like a whole lot: lady bodyguards for prominent figures. No, I didn’t say lady bodyguards with great figures, I said lady bodyguards for those figures. Apparently this is becoming much more popular in places like the Cairo suburb of Heliopolis, where women in head scarves are learning how to defend themselves in martial art forms like Aikido, a Japanese martial art. These women are learning to become "lady guards," which is the term Falcon, an Egyptian security company, calls its growing army of female bodyguards. A conservative, largely Muslim nation such as Egypt is one of the last places you’d expect to find women being trained for protective service, but that’s part of what makes this story cool. In the last three years, Falcon, one of Egypt's leading security companies, has trained more than 300 female body guards. Guards receive classroom instruction with an emphasis is on staying alert, maintaining a professional demeanor and not getting too cozy with clients. That’s standard fare for any professional bodyguard service, although celebrities who hire their own protection tend to have a different relationship with their hired muscle. But the demand for lady guards is growing quickly, according to Falcon Managing Director, Sharif Khalid. "In our society women don't want to be searched or have their bags inspected by men," Khalid stated. Falcon’s clients include foreign visitors and patrons Khalid refers to as "society women," although he obviously wouldn’t disclose any names. What’s interesting about lady guards as opposed to the standard perception of bodyguards is that they do not carry weapons. Their first approach is to defend clients through diplomatic means but, if all else fails, they can disable attackers – with their deadly good looks. Just kidding there, this isn't some bad Charlie’s Angels reset. According to Khalid, the focus is on mental toughness and the capacity for quick, decisive thinking rather than the physical side of things. "The body isn't so important," said Khalid. "What matters is that [female body guards] can pick out suspicious people and react quickly, because with security, if you delay just a moment, things can go very wrong." But the physical training is definitely beneficial to the lady guards, even if they do have to use it away from the job. . According to a 2008 poll conducted by the Egyptian Center for Women's Rights (ECWR), sexual harassment is a growing problem in Egypt. Some 83 percent of Egyptian women and 98 percent of foreign female visitors polled have experienced sexual harassment despite claims from law enforcement that they have made efforts to crack down on the problem. By and large, police blow off complaints by women that they have been harassed. Bearing that in mind, maybe it’s time for the ranks of the lady guards to expand even more rapidly than they are……….

- Look at you, Maine, bringing the smack down on cell phones. Maine Rep. Andrea Boland, D-Sanford, is leading the charge against these tiny, shiny and powerful threats to our health by looking to make her state the first to require cell phones to carry warnings that they can cause brain cancer. Never mind that there is no consensus among scientists that they do and industry leaders dispute the claim. Boland has made up her mind and is looking to join in with a growing number of countries around the world that have slapped cell phones with such warnings. A similar effort is shaping up in San Francisco, where Mayor Gavin Newsom wants his city to be the nation's first to require the warnings. As for Boland, she said numerous studies point to the cancer risk, and she has persuaded legislative leaders to allow her proposal to come up for discussion during the 2010 session that begins in January. To be completely forthright, Boland does use a cell phone, but with a speaker to keep the phone away from her head. Additionally, she’s one of those people whose calls almost always go to voice mail because she only keeps her phone on when she's expecting a call. See folks, this is the problem when you elect a paranoid kook with a hypochondriac approach to the world as a state legislator. They attempt to foist their distorted views on the rest of the world and see those views as justified and legit because dammit, enough people voted for them to put them in public office. Under Boland's bill, manufacturers would have to put labels on phones and packaging warning of the potential for brain cancer associated with electromagnetic radiation. Like many “dangerous” products, cell phones would primarily warn that at-risk users, especially children and pregnant women, keep the devices away from their head and body. Boland is seemingly not swayed by the fact that the Federal Communications Commission maintains that all cell phones sold in the U.S. are safe. Undoubtedly, the legislator would like to see handset makers to divulge radiation levels, which the FCC currently does not require them to do. Boland's bill is not specific about absorption rate levels, but would require a permanent, nonremovable advisory of risk in black type, except for the word "warning," which would be large and in red letters. Not only that, this kook wants include a color graphic of a child's brain next to the warning. Would you also like a doctoral dissertation on the long-term affects of cell phone usage? In case no one told you, Rep. Boland, this is 2009 and cell phones are no longer the size of car batteries, you moron. Oh, and perhaps you should have a little more faith in your constituents and not say stupid sh*t like “they do not know what the risks are” when it comes to cell phone use. But regardless of where you come out on this issue, the fact is that among Maine's1.3 million residents, there are roughly 950,000 cell phone users. It’s worthy of discussion, although that discussion would be better facilitated by people who, unlike Rep. Boland, are not in fact morons. As for the San Francisco proposal, it would require the display of the absorption rate level next to each phone in print at least as big as the price. I love the mental image of government officials out in stores with tiny tape measures, breaking down the height of letters on cell phone advertising, signs and shelf displays. In response to these proposed laws, at least one cell phone maker is taking a stand. Motorola Inc., one of the nation's major wireless phone makers, says on its Web site that all of its products comply with international safety guidelines for radiofrequency energy exposure. So allow the fight to rage on, just don’t listen to a word that Maine Rep. Andrea Boland, D-Sanford, has to say on the issue…………

- I’m not sure you’re helping your current place-kicking problems, Dallas Cowboys. In fact, I think you’re hurting them and you shouldn’t be bringing in kickers who were cut by division rivals just a month ago due to accuracy problems to kick for you in important games. In case you missed it, America’s Team can afford a $1.2 billion new stadium but apparently cannot seem to find a kicker who can consistently put the ball through the uprights. Their kicker for the first 14 games of the season, former Pro Bowler Nick Folk, made just 18-of-28 this season after missing only seven attempts in his first two seasons. His ten misses were most among NFL kickers, with the most recent miss coming in the fourth quarter Saturday night in a crucial game against New Orleans. Given that the Cowboys are 9-5 and hanging on to a playoff spot by their fingernails, having an erratic kicker for the stretch run is clearly not ideal. As such, jettisoning Folk in favor of a new kicker is a superb idea. Before the dust had even settled from their big win in the Big Easy – 24-17 in spite of Folk’s missed kick – the Cowboys confirmed that they would bring several kickers to their practice facility to work in the quest to replace Nick Folk. That’ll happen when you’ve missed field goals in the last six games and seven of your last 11 attempts. No one is disputing that part of the decision, but what you do have to question is the wisdom of bringing in Shaun Suisham, who was released by the Washington Redskins earlier this month because of the very same problems that plagued Folk in Dallas. Suisham even missed from 39 and 50 yards in a 7-6 loss to the Cowboys on Nov. 22, so the Cowboys saw up close and personal how inaccurate he can be. Sure, at 18-of-21 this season, Suisham is still markedly better than Folk, but I doubt he was the best option available. Fact is, the Cowboys tried every conceivable idea for fixing Folk’s errant ways, from switching holders to changing long snappers and everything in between. "It's kind of been a mystery for us," head coach Wade Phillips said. "We tried to work it out a lot of different ways. We tried a different holder, we tried a kicking competition, we tried a lot of different things. Now it's come to this point." Personally I’d like to see the Cowboys give rookie kickoff specialist David Buehler a chance. Sure, it’s widely accepted that Buehler is not consistent or accurate enough to be a viable option on field goals. But dude is a freaking beast, having done better in the 225-pound bench-press exercise at the NFL scouting combine than a lot of linebackers and regularly jacking up guys to make tackles on kickoff returns. Put in extra work with Buehler and give him a shot, because odds are that he can't be any worse than Nick Folk, or even Shaun Suisham……….

- Conspiracy theories are awesome. Who doesn’t love kooks who are totally out of touch with reality spouting elaborate, far-fetched stories about how a vast network of shady conspirators are out to get them? When you’re got something as controversial as alleged widespread fraud in the Afghanistan presidential election a few months ago, you’re bound to have a conspiracy theory or 50 floating around. What makes this particular theory so interesting is that it involves the No. 2 United Nations official in the country, the American Peter W. Galbraith. The allegation being set forth is that Galbraith proposed enlisting the White House in a plan to replace the Afghan president, Hamid Karzai, according to two senior United Nations officials. Karzai learned of the plan and was and was predictably livid. Someone told him that the plan had been proposed by Galbraith, who had been installed in his position with the strong backing of Richard C. Holbrooke, the top American envoy to Afghanistan. Holbrooke had a history of clashes with Karzai, especially over the election. Making himself look even worse, Galbraith abruptly left the country in early September and was fired weeks later. Galbraith has theorized that he was forced out because he was feuding with his boss Kai Eide, the top United Nations official in Kabul, over how to respond to what he supposed wholesale fraud in the presidential election. In a decidedly bad career move, Galbraith accused his boss of concealing the degree of fraud benefiting Karzai. He gave an interview expounding on his ill-fated views and although the election basically unfolded in much the manner he warned against, Galbraith was no less fired. Even though a United Nations-backed audit stripped Karzai of almost one-third of his votes, preventing a first-round victory and forcing him into a runoff, Galbraith was still on the outside looking in. Also not helping his cause was the disclosure of a letter written by Eide that spelled out Galbraith’s proposal to replace Karzai. Even though many in the Obama administration wondered about how wise it was to continue supporting Karzai, Galbraith clearly dug his own diplomatic grave with his approach to the situation. Oh, and way to go Richard Holbrooke, completely bailing on his boy Galbraith when the sh*t hit the fan. Holbrooke said he was completely unaware of Galbraith’s plan and made no attempt to back his former compatriot. “And it does not reflect in any way any idea that Secretary Clinton or anyone else in the State Department would have considered,” Holbrooke said. But he is far from the only one turning against Galbraith, who seems to have no friends left. Eide, who will be leaving his post soon, recalls telling his deputy that the plan to supplant Karzai was “unconstitutional, it represented interference of the worst sort, and if pursued it would provoke not only a strong international reaction” but also civil insurrection. After that meeting, Galbraith traveled back to the U.S. to supposedly discuss the plan with Vice President Joe Biden. He also presented it to the U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan and pretty much anyone else willing to listen to him. In the end, his conspiracy appears to have been met with an even more powerful conspiracy to f*ck him over and get rid of him…………

- James Cameron’s Avatar came the theaters (finally), it saw and it conquered – just not as forcefully as expected. Everyone expected the 3-D sci-fi animated action flick to easily win the earnings race at the box office on its opening weekend and it did so with an estimated $73 million. That’s significantly less than most expected, but many analysts are pointing to the massive snowstorms blasting the east coast all weekend as a reason that the movie didn’t do as well as expected. Still, it’s the best 3-D debut ever and the second-best December debut behind I Am Legend. Worldwide, the film has already banked an estimated $232.2 million. Coming in second was another animated flick, Disney’s The Princess and the Frog, which conjured up $12.2 million, a 50 percent drop from its wide debut last weekend, for $44.8 million total. Staying strong in third place was The Blind Side with $10 million. That is enough to make it the highest-grossing film ever for Sandra Bullock with a cumulative total of $164.7 million total. It was not a good debut weekend for the lame-tastic Hugh Grant-Sarah Jessica Parker romantic comedy Did You Hear About The Morgans?, which opened in fourth place with a weak $7 million. That result should surprise exactly no one. Who the heck makes a movie with SJP and Hugh Grant and expects it to be a huge draw……in 2009? Rounding out the top five was The Twilight Saga: New Moon, which drew enough teenage girls to make $4.4 million. George Clooney’s award-winning movie Up in the Air continued its stellar limited run, raking in $3.1 million for eighth place on just 175 screens. That represents a 29 percent jump from last week for $8.1 million total. For those o you not in major markets waiting to see this movie, it debuts nationwide on Dec. 23. Theater dorks had to be happy that movie musical Nine posted a solid $61,750 per location average in four theaters and music-inflected drama Crazy Heart chimed in with $21,050 per theater in four locations. Oh, and as for that argument that the wintry weather hurt Avatar’s debut…..umm, overall box office revenues were up a whopping 58 percent from last year, when the Jim Carrey comedy Yes Man was tops. Guess maybe it wasn’t so much the weather and more of the movie not being quite as great as everyone expected………..