- What I see as a win-win, the U.S. Forest Service seems to have a major problem with. When drug traffickers plant millions of marijuana plants on U.S. public lands in über-close to tourist sites, I channel my optimistic side and see the positive. For one, you all know how much I love stoners. The more pot plants people want to drop into the ground, the better for stoners - win. Second, the resourceful entrepreneurs who plant these useful plants are showing a can-do spirit, trying to live their version of the American dream - win. Third, visitors to these tourist sites just might be fortunate enough to stumble on a pot field and could pick their very own hippie lettuce to process, roll and smoke - win. What I don’t get is why the Forest Service is so angry about all of this. “We destroy their plants and they come back, sometimes to the same spot, and replant," said U.S. Forest Service Special Agent Russ Arthur. “It's definitely possible that hikers and campers are going to find themselves in the middle of a field facing some very dangerous, armed bad guys, because this problem is everywhere, and it's only getting worse.” Okay, so perhaps there could be some minor issues if the worst possible scenario unfolded. But I’ll head that off by kindly asking that no drug cartel members with automatic weapons open fire on innocent tourists who happen to wander into their pot fields. Just ask them to leave, maybe smoke a friendly fattie together and all will be fine. There, problem solved. Thus far, pot sites linked to cartels have been found in 15 states as far north as Washington. A hippie lettuce farm was found last week in Sequoia National Park in the Sierra Nevada, a mere half-mile away from Crystal Cave, popular among tourists. But instead of embracing this chance to expose park visitors to one of nature’s most useful and beneficial plants, the park shut the area down while the farm was raided and destroyed. “Last week for six days, instead of having families and children walking down to Crystal Cave, we were flying helicopters to do a law enforcement operation," park spokeswoman Adrienne Freeman said. "That's not fair. You should be able to come to the park and enjoy it.” Duh. It’d not fair, assuming that what you’re referring to as unfair is your agency’s insistence on a) persecuting pot growers and b) preventing park visitors from seeing the splendor of a marijuana farm up close and personal. Besides, Freeman admitted that there is a steep cliff near the site and most visitors wouldn't be skilled enough to trek into the area. Not so in Idaho, where earlier this summer, hikers stumbled upon 12,545 marijuana plants valued at $6.3 million. Other stashes have been found in Indiana, Denver, Georgia and Tennessee. One disturbing trend by the Forest Service is the practice of posting signs on public land, informing people what a pot field looks like and how to get away from it quickly. Again, why would I want to get away from it? Harvest some of the chronic, sure. Get away from it? No. Besides, I admire the gutsy nature of these pot growers, living out in the middle of the woods, camping out and knowing that at any moment The Man might come crashing through the brush looking to wipe out there little enterprise. So even if the U.S. Forest Service has a beef with you, pot growers near U.S. parks, know that I’m here for you………
- I don’t want to alarm anyone, but…….GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL AND IT’S GOING TO DESTROY THE EARTH!!!! Okay, so maybe that’s a tad alarmist, but the fact is that Arctic temperatures in the 1990s reached their warmest level of any decade in at least 2,000 years and however you slice it, that’s not a good thing. According to new research published in Science magazine, the Arctic would be cooling if not for greenhouse gas emissions overpowering natural climate patterns. The study, led by Northern Arizona University researcher Darrell Kaufman, doesn’t shy away from pointing the finger for the climate changes directly at mankind. Its conclusions are that thousands of years of gradual Arctic cooling, related to natural changes in Earth's orbit, would continue today if not for emissions of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases. "This result is particularly important because the Arctic, perhaps more than any other region on Earth, is facing dramatic impacts from climate change," scientist David Schneider, one of the study’s co-authors, said. "This study provides us with a long-term record that reveals how greenhouse gases from human activities are overwhelming the Arctic's natural climate system." The research team's temperature analysis revealed that summer temperatures in the Arctic (i.e. beach season), cooled at an average rate of about 0.2 degrees Celsius per thousand years. That trend maxed out during the "Little Ice Age," a period of cooling that lasted roughly from the 16th to the mid-19th centuries. That cooling trend had its atmospheric ass kicked
- It’s back, baby! College football has returned and for the most part, it was a great Saturday of action. There were a couple of near-miss upsets (both involving Big Ten teams, ironically) and a couple of games involving top 20 opponents. The near misses both came in the first wave of games, with the biggest near-miss coming from Division I-AA Northern Iowa, which led in-state rival Iowa most of the game before falling behind in the fourth quarter. In the game’s final moments, NIU managed to drive the length of the field while trailing 16-14 and needing only a field goal to win. Astonishingly, the Panthers got not one, but two shots at that game-winning field goal - and both were blocked. They recovered the first blocked kick with one second left and were able to attempt a second kick, but it too was blocked. It would have been an embarrassing loss for Iowa, a fate that nearly befell fellow Big Ten contender Ohio State. The Buckeyes led Navy the entire game and were up by as many as 15 points, but lapses on defense and coach Jim Tressel’s inexplicable decision to sit starting quarterback Terrell Pryor out for a series in the second quarter when the Buckeyes finally seemed to be getting on track offensively allowed the Midshipmen to hang in the game. A long touchdown pass and a bad interception by Pryor set Navy up to march for a late touchdown to pull with in two at 29-27. In the end, OSU intercepted a pass on the two-point conversion attempt, returned it for two points of their own and held on for a 31-27 win. Not as fortunate was #3 Oklahoma, which suffered as a bad a double-whammy as a top team could have in its opening game, losing Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Sam Bradford to a shoulder injury just before halftime and then losing the game 14-13 to the Stormin’ Mormons, a.k.a. BYU. The loss could well kill Oklahoma’s national championship dreams before they could even take flight, although the Sooners could theoretically still run the table and make it to the (completely bogus and illegitimate) BCS championship game. Elsewhere, two once-proud programs that have been lagging and sagging the past couple of years got their seasons off to a rousing start, with Notre Dame and Michigan both recording lopsided home wins. Notre Dame hammered overmatched Nevada 35-0 and Michigan succeeded in doing what it could not do in last year’s home opener, namely defeat a Mid-American Conference team. This time, it was Western Michigan, which could not follow the example set by fellow MAC school Toledo last year and win in the Big House. The Broncos fell 31-7, giving embattled UM coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez a much-needed win. The last thing that stood out for me on the first Saturday of the season was the heinous, reprehensible and cowardly scheduling by several top programs that played Div. I-AA schools instead of legitimate D-I teams. Yes, I’m looking right at you, University of Florida. You have supposedly the greatest college quarterback of all-time in Tim Tebow, you’ve won two national titles in the past three years and the best you can do for an opener is Charleston Southern (winning 62-3)? You’re either really lazy or really cowardly and neither one is cool. Muscle up, pay a D-I school from the MAC, WAC, Mountain West, etc. to come play you. If you can’t go undefeated against a schedule that doesn’t include any Div. 1-AA schools, then you’re not that good. Same goes for you, Texas, for playing mighty Louisiana Monroe in your home opener. You get no respect, while Oklahoma State and Georgia get big ups for playing one another in Stillwater, Okla. even though OK State was ranked No. 9 and Georgia was ranked No. 13. The Cowboys won that one 24-10, but both schools get high marks in my book for having the kahones to schedule a quality opponent instead of a cupcake. One week in the books, many more to go, good times……..
- Oh, you environmental whack-job kooks, what would this country be without you? Saner, yes. More pleasant to live in, sure. But we would be without our regular dose of crazy and believe it or not, we would miss that - I think. For example, if not for the enviro-kooks, who would be there to knock down two radio station towers belonging to radio station KRKO in Snohomish County, Washington because "AM radio waves cause adverse health effects including a higher rate of cancer, harm to wildlife, and that the signals have been interfering with home phone and intercom lines." Claiming responsibility for this “dissidence” is none other than the Earth Liberation Front (ELF), a group identified by U.S. officials as a domestic terrorism threat. "When all legal channels of opposition have been exhausted, concerned citizens have to take action into their own hands to protect life and the planet," Jason Crawford, a spokesman for the group, said. Look Jason….everyone knows that there is no bigger fan of protesting, rioting, etc. than me, but you ass clowns don’t qualify. For starters, the acronym for your group’s name is ELF, and let’s face it, no one likes elves and they don’t scare anyone. Second, you don’t go out in the dead of night and knock over two radio towers when no one is there to see it. Any good riot or protest is done with maximum possible exposure and boldly in the face of The Man, you idiot. While I don’t concur with the government that ELF’s actions are terrorism, that’s mainly because the government definition of domestic terrorism is too broad and generic. That description labels domestic terrorism as use or threatened use of violence by a domestic group "against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a government, the civilian population, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives.” As for KRKO, the station says it will take at least three months to get is antenna system back up and operational again. In the meantime, the station has remained on the air by using a backup transmitter site. One thing I do have to credit the ELF freaks for is their resourcefulness, as they stole an excavating machine out of a yard in order to knock down the towers. While the government describes this gaggle of societal misfits as domestic terrorists, the group describes itself as "an international underground organization that uses direct action in the form of economic sabotage to stop the systematic exploitation and destruction of the planet. ELF credits itself with well over $150 million in damages to corporations and governmental agencies that are profiting from the destruction of the Earth. Mmmm hmm, sure. Whatever you say, enviro-freaks. From now on, why don’t you try showing some sac and performing your little feats of environmental heroism in the light of day and in the faces of those you oppose……..
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