Thursday, September 03, 2009

Bad news in the opium poppy world, R. Fraud-riguez in more trouble and positive news for "Mad Men" fans

- Dammit, I did not need to hear this. Sure, I knew that the entire “civilized” world was coming down hard on the Afghan opium-producing market, but now it appears those efforts are succeeding and I don’t like it one bit. According to those a-holes at the United Nations, the Afghan opium market is not doing well. Still the world’s largest opium market, Afghanistan is suffering from the crusade against its most-profitable business. A new UN report says cultivation of the opium poppy in Afghanistan has fallen dramatically this year, with production also down. As you all know, poppy is used to make heroin and if poppy cultivation doing, then your friendly local heroin user is going to suffer. Estimates have Afghanistan producing 90 percent of the world’s opium, but its production is down 10 percent this year and there is a drop of 22 percent in the amount of land used for cultivation. I don’t know what Afghans are using that land for, but I’m guessing it’s not nearly as profitable as heroin and so the farmers are also suffering. What I really don’t like is the cockiness being shown by the country’s Counter-Narcotics Minister, General Khudaidad, who said: “The situation of drugs in Afghanistan is under control. In the coming years I assure you that we are very hopeful of having more provinces reaching zero opium cultivation.” You might be hopeful of that, but only because you’re an idiot. The area hit hardest by this crackdown on opium production is the country’s most violent province, Helmand, which is Afghanistan’s opium growing heartland. My heartfelt sympathies go out to my peeps in the Helmand province, I know you all must be hurting. The figures on the faltering poppy production nationwide are truly staggering. A mere 6,900 tons of opium are said to have been produced in Afghanistan this year, grown, harvested and processed by the estimated 1.6 million Afghans believed to be involved in the illegal drugs trade. That represents a solid six percent of the population, a figure I’m confident we can increase if we all bind together and fight back against the uptight squares looking to stomp the last vestiges of life and vitality out of this once-proud poppy-producing industry………

- I don’t know what the exchange rate for crazy is, but someone in Canada nearly had to figure it out because none other than Pacman Jones was all set to head north of the border. Jones, who has failed repeatedly to stick and stay in the NFL because of never-ending legal issues and subpar on-field performance when not suspended for said legal issues, had allegedly inked a one-year deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and was preparing to join the team in its already-begun season. After being released by the Dallas Cowboys in February, Pacman and his agent held out hope that another NFL team would give him a chance. When all 32 NFL franchises proved too sane to sign him, Jones and his representatives jumped on what they felt was the next best option - the Canadian Football League. But that deal has suddenly and unexpectedly fallen apart and the blame for its demise goes on none other than Pacman himself. No sooner than word of the deal leaked out, this brain-dead idiot showed up on YouStream, streaming video for nearly an hour in which he degraded and belittled his new team. Jones went on and on about how he was only going to be in Canada for eight weeks or less, until an NFL team signed him, and stating an incorrect name for the league when referring to it. Instead of calling it the CFL, Jones referred to it as the UFL, which is actually a new, second-rate football league here in the U.S. That may be his next stop, ironically, but that wasn’t what the Blue Bombers wanted to hear. I could go on and on describing the rant Jones went on, but the gist is that he didn’t really know or care where he was going to play because he was just cashing their checks and passing through. That doesn’t sound like the same song dude was singing when the story of his signing broke initially. “It'll be a good experience for me to get back in game shape and compete and play football, which I like to do," Jones said at the time. "I'm real happy for the opportunity that's been given to me. Of course it's disappointing to me to not be playing in the NFL. But things happen and you have to adjust." However, previous experience tells us that this clown has an IQ of about 45 and was bound to say or do something to f*ck up this opportunity and sure enough, he did. No sooner than Jones’ YouStream rant hit the Web than the Blue Bombers began backpedaling, saying that after doing their due diligence, they had decided not to sign Jones. Right, except that less than 24 hours earlier, you were raving about what a great opportunity to sign a player with NFL-caliber talent in the prime of his career and bring buzz and excitement to your city and team. I have no problem with you hitting the eject button on this soon-to-implode experiment, as it will probably save you, your team and your city a major headache. Better not to have this kook come to your town, make it rain at your local “scrip” club and set off a melee that results in a bouncer getting shot. But if you’re going to rip the cord on this before it starts, just be honest about why you’re doing it. You’re doing it because this fool can’t even stay down and stay out of his own way long enough to put his John Hancock on that contract………..


- Having never watched AMC’s hit show Mad Men or even been inclined to watch it, I’m more or less indifferent to any news about the show. However, I do know that a lot of you out there absolutely love it to the point of raving about how great it is, so it’s for you all I pass along news that the show has been renewed for a fourth season. AMC announced the renewal Tuesday, a mere three weeks after the Emmy-winning series' third-season premiere opened to 4.5 million viewers. The ratings for the first three episodes were clearly enough to push AMC over the top and give Mad Men another run. “We always saw the potential for Mad Men, and believed in and supported the series because of our strategy of developing cinematic television that complements our library of the most entertaining movies, from every genre, on television," said Charlie Collier, president and general manager of AMC. "With this early fourth season renewal, we're excited to let our audience know the captivating world of Sterling Cooper will be back on AMC again next year."
The deal is also a boon for series creator Matthew Weiner, who inked a seven-figure deal with Lionsgate in January to stay with the show for two more seasons. So with the fall TV season fast approaching and many of my favorite shows set to return later this month, I am happy to be able to do something nice for others, like sharing news about the renewal of a series I don’t watch, have no interest in but nonetheless know that many of you love. You’re welcome…………


- Wireless Internet is becoming more and more ubiquitous, to the point that nearly every public gathering place worth a crap - malls, airports, restaurants, hotels, etc. - offers some sort of WiFi access, even if many of them do rip users off for $4-5 an hour to use it. Now that you can log on from nearly anywhere, the next logical step is finding a way to power your wireless device of choice in the same fashion. To that end, allow me to introduce WiTricity, a company that's able to power light bulbs using wireless electricity that travels several feet from a power socket. According to Eric Giler, CEO of WiTricity, this technology could allow users of electronics such as phones and laptops to bid adieu to their power cords and AC adapters within a year. WiTricity’s technology converts power into a magnetic field and sends it sailing through the air at a particular frequency, allowing consumers to power their devices without plugging in. While it’s still being fine-tuned, the technology is supposedly close to being ready for mass consumption. “Five years from now, this will seem completely normal," Giler said. "The biggest effect of wireless power is attacking that huge energy wasting that goes on where people buy disposable batteries.” I’d love to disagree, but the fact is that technology evolves and advances so quickly that making this leap forward doesn’t seem all that far-fetched. Giler also believes that wireless electricity could benefit another product line that you might not automatically think of - electric cars. While admitting that electric cars are attractive and appealing, Giler wonders “does anyone really want to plug them in?” He envisions a future in which drivers will be able to power up their vehicles simply by driving into a garage that's fitted with a wireless power mat. Hmm, color me cynical, but that sounds verrrrry pricey. Wireless electricity actually dates back two centuries, believe it or not. In the 1890s, Nikola Tesla (forefather of legendary metal band Tesla, if I’m not mistaken) started experimenting with the ability to send electricity through the air. So the concept has been there, but making it safe and affordable for consumers on a large scale has been the bulk of the challenge since then. One pioneer in the field has been a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, company called Powercast, which used radio waves to light a low-power LED bulb that was 1.5 miles from its power source back in 2003. Since then, the company has used the technology to do a variety of things, including selling artificial Christmas trees strung with LED lights for about $400. The chief concern for consumers as things now stand is that each device requires its own charging pad, which could get messy and expensive. But sooner or later, wireless energy will come to your home and you can remember that you heard it here first…..sort of……….


- Hi-ho-freakling-larious! The fact that University of Michigan coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez began the week fending off allegations by anonymous current and former players that he and his coaches routinely force players to violate NCAA rules on the amount of time they can spend practicing on individual days and over the course of a week and now faces a multi-million-dollar lawsuit is too funny. Based on a lawsuit filed in Virgina, Fraud-riguez was business partners with a banned Clemson booster in a failed real-estate venture that led to a $3.9 million lawsuit. The booster, whose name I absolutely, unequivocally did not make up, is Clegg Lamar Greene. Why no one names their kid Clegg anymore, I don’t know. What I do know is that Green, Fraud-riguez and three others are accused of defaulting on a multimillion-dollar loan tied to a Virginia condo development. The lawsuit was served on Fraud-riguez at the UM football office, which I would have paid a hefty amount to see in person. Nothing like a coach getting pulled out of a film session or interrupted in a planning meeting so a process server can drop a lawsuit in his lap. Authorities say Greene stole money from investors, including Rodriguez, to pay debts on various business deals. His ties to Fraud-riguez likely occurred when R. Fraud was the offensive coordinator at Clemson in 1999 and 2000, back when….well, when Fraud-riguez was still probably a Grade-A dirtbag. So not only is he a disingenuous liar and NCAA rule breaker, Fraud-riguez is also a scumbag in the business world. Anyone wonder why I call the guy Rich-er Fraud-riguez at this point? Didn’t think so……..

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