Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Week 2 of Greek, a big day for a famous stoner and a terrible day for dorks

- Monday wasn’t just a national holiday; it was a day of mourning for dorks the whole world ‘round. For these losers, the world as they knew it was shattered as Star Trek: The Experience, located on the Las Vegas Strip since 1998, closed due to a lease dispute between its operator and the Las Vegas Hilton, the attraction’s landlord. In its 10 years, the attraction had brought in more than 3 million no-life-having dorks who bravely ventured out of their parents’ basement and subjected themselves to the danger of direct sunlight for the first time in years to mingle with fellow Trekkies, eat at the restaurant’s attraction and visit the on-site museum. Monday’s decommissioning ceremony brought the curtain down on the restaurant, the Museum of the Future and the two virtual rides that Trekkies paid $49.99 each to experience. No longer with these losers who have never kissed a girl or even held the hand of one be able to visit the replica of the Starship Enterprise here and talk with servers at the restaurant dressed in authentic Stark Trek gear and fluent in Trekkie. But fear not, dorks, because I’m sure one of your pathetic, loser-ish conventions where you all get in costume and cram into a convention hall for three days is coming up soon…..

- Roll a fattie, pass the bong and spark one up! One of the world’s most famous stoners, Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams, has not only made it back to being an active NFL player, he’s managed to get a contract extension from the Dolphins through the 2010-11 season. And yes, I know that the Rick-ster has supposedly given up the hippie lettuce and is drug tested regularly as a participant in the NFL’s drug program. But don’t tell me he’s off tree for good, because there’s no way you’re that big of a stoner for that many years and suddenly you’re cured of the addiction. I don’t care how much holistic medicine Williams is into and how much he stands to lose if he tokes up again while he’s playing; dude is going to smoke many more blunts before his life is over. So even if he (allegedly) isn't sparking up right now for the sake of not receiving a lifetime ban from the NFL, he’ll live to toke another day. As such, he can save the money from this new deal for that day down the road when he can settle into his comfortable, dirty stoner couch, palce his bong on the table in front of him as his Planet Earth DVD plays on the TV across the room and return to doing what he does best…..

- So the release of the new iPhone 3-G hasn’t exactly been a stellar, flawless endeavor. All right, let’s be honest: it’s been a disaster. As I so rightly predicted while tools all around the world waited in line for hours on end to purchase the new phone, which many of them then had to leave the store with unactivated due to a glitch in Apple’s iTunes servers, there has been one problem after another with the iPhone 3-G. What have some of those delightful, oh-so-amusing foibles been? How about a phone that gets extremely hot to the point that it nearly burns your hand when you pick it up? Ooh, or what about programs that regularly crash or are inaccessible? Best of all, how about spastic, erratic and infrequent connections to the very AT&T third-generation (3G) network that’s supposed to make the iPhone 3-G such a great gadget? Some users have experienced such difficulty in establishing a regular connection with the 3-G network that they carry their phones around with the 3-G turned off, meaning that a big chunk of why the phone is supposed to be so special isn't being utilized. Great job on that, Apple. Guess I’m not among the sycophants who blindly follow along and applaud Steve Jobs and Co. for whatever they do without criticizing. C’mon Apple, step your game up……

- If you can’t break through the queue of people waiting to download the new Firefox 3 browser (a line that should actually be fairly short now that it’s been out for a few weeks), you may want to give a shot to the latest version of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer browser. Internet Explorer 8 will have a unique feature, called InPrivateBrowsing, that will allow users to shut out some of the normal intrusions that websites and online advertisers make into their ‘Net surfing. By using InPrivateBrowsing, users can prevent companies that sell online ads from discovering which sites they visit and thus tailoring future online ads a user sees to fit that user’s specific browsing habits. In a beta test version released late last week, Microsoft also showcased features that will help users better cover their online tracks by wiping out temporary Internet files and cookies, which are small files stored on a computer’s hard drive that allow companies to see what sites a user has visited. Smart computer users already wipe out the personal Internet data of this sort from their hard drives, but for the more clueless among us technology-wise, it could be helpful. The InPrivateBrowsing feature can also block third-party advertising on some websites, which might actually be the most attractive feature of all. So if you’re unfortunate enough to still be using a Windows-based computer and can’t get your hands on either Firefox or Netscape Navigator, give Internet Explorer 8 a shot and see what you think…..

- It was week two for this season of Greek on ABC family and last night, the unthinkable happened: über-nerd and engineering enthusiast Rusty faced a crisis of faith when it came to his desire to become a polymer engineer. Bored with an engineering seminar he’s taking, Rusty searches out advice from the RA on his floor, Max, along with his big brother at Kappa Tau, Cappie, and even from roommate Dale. Even though it’s been his dream to be a polymer engineer since age 11 when he discovered silly putty, Rusty appears to give it up….until Senior Stockades. The Stockades are an engineering tradition at Cyprus Rhodes, with the senior engineering majors barricading their dorm rooms closed and challenging the underclassmen to break in. There are no rules for either party, so plastic walls, fake walls, doors with no locks and everything else are legal. In trying to break into Max’s room, Rusty rediscovers what he loves about polymer engineering and decides to give it another try. Giving things another try as well are Rusty’s sister Casey and her BFF Ashleigh, who are trying once again to find the perfect guy to crush on. The idea is to invite that guy to the Zeta Beta crush party at Dobler’s. The only problem is that Casey inadvertently meets and falls for the same guy Ashleigh became obsessed with during spring break in last season’s finale. When the two realize they’re crushing on the same guy, the battle is on. They invite the guy, Drew Collins, to the party and try to outdo each other to win his affections. The battle ends when Ashleigh realizes Drew doesn’t even remember her from spring break, so she bows out. Ironically, later in the night Casey does the same when she realizes that she’s doing the exact same thing she’s pissed at her sorority big sis, Frannie, for doing: putting bros before hoes. While Casey decides to not pursue anything with Drew, Frannie does decide to keep seeing Casey’s ex, Evan. That leads Casey to freeze Frannie out before declaring that while they’ll always be ZBZ sisters, they’re no longer friends. Also on the rocks are Cappie and his girlfriend Rebecca, who is still reeling from the scandal over her father, a senator, being involved in a prostitution ring. As she becomes an object of ridicule and curiously around campus, Cappie encourages her to capitalize on her “fame” by getting free gifts from people based on sympathy - free drinks, upgraded parking passes, etc. That approach works briefly, up to the point when Rebecca learns her parents are getting a divorce. When Cappie responds with more of his usual clever, quippy humor to try and cheer her up, Rebecca leaves Dobler’s alone and doesn’t ask him to come with her. The previews for next week suggest this trouble will continue, so stay tuned for that one. Oh, and AWOL from this episode was Calvin, along with Kappa Tau favorites Beaver and Wade, along with anyone in the Omega Chi house except Evan. Actually, what the episode felt like was three self-contained, separate stories that didn’t have much to do with one another. Not sure I enjoyed it as much as I normally do, but maybe next week will be better……

No comments: