Friday, September 19, 2008

Riots with burning cars (score!), the season premiere of Smallville and Josh Howard might want to stop talking for a while

- Before I get going on this one, know this, auto racing losers: your little driving game still sucks. Just because I’m about to find something about your glorified daily commute on a big oval amusing doesn’t mean that it’s a sport. It never has been a sport and it never will be. That being said, nice of the Germain Racing crew of Todd Bodine and the Red Horse Racing crew of David Starr to brawl near the end of the Camping World RV 200 and retaliated by ramming the rear of Starr's truck on the cool-down lap after the race. Equally nice to see a member of Bodine's crew confront Starr on pit road and spark a brawl between the teams that drew a throng of NASCAR officials. In looking to capitalize on that drama, the Las Vegas Motor Speedway invited both teams to settle the matter Saturday night before the start of the Qwik Liner Las Vegas 350 in a tug of war. Sadly, the idiots in charge of NASCAR have suspended the two pit crews, meaning that their best chance in a long time to bring anything resembling sports or athletic competition to an auto racing venue will go by the wayside. Thank God I didn’t have to actually watch a second of the actual race to find all of this out; for once, ESPN’s insistence on covering the little driving game that is auto racing was a good thing. So while I would have cared about the tug of war for the 30 seconds or so it went on, that fleeting chance for me to be interested in anything relating to auto racing is now gone for good, glad I dodged that bullet……

- Perhaps I was wrong about Sarah Palin and her capabilities to be this country’s vice president or president. She’s already acting very presidential, as long as you define presidential as following the ass-hatted example set by our current Tool in Chief, W. As state lawmakers in her home state of Alaska seek to investigate the firing of Alaska's former public safety commissioner, word has come down that aides to Gov. Palin won't comply with subpoenas issued by state lawmakers investigating because Palin “has declined to participate” in the probe, her attorney general says. “As state employees, our clients have taken an oath to uphold the Alaska Constitution, and for that reason, they respect the Legislature's desire to carry out an investigation in support of its lawmaking powers,” Attorney General Talis Colberg, a Palin appointee, told the investigation's manager in a letter released Wednesday. “However, our clients are also loyal employees subject to the supervision of the governor.” Ah, close your eyes, insert “U.S.” in place of Alaska and it’s just like you’re listening to W. or an administration stool pigeon trample the Constitution and ignore congressional subpoenas to testify about the illegal firings of eight attorneys general. Initially, Palin pledged to cooperate with the state Legislature's investigation into the July firing of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. The investigation came because after his dismissal, Monegan accused Palin of trying to pressure him into firing her ex-brother-in-law, a state trooper who had been involved in an acrimonious divorce from the governor's sister. To be fair, Palin has denied any wrongdoing throughout the ordeal, but that doesn’t absolve her or her aides from having to cooperate with the investigation. Is this some sort of new blanket policy for the Republican Party, giving a big middle finger to any legislative body and constitution that compels them to testify about alleged improper activities or crimes? Not the best play when you’re the VP candidate with an election looming, Palin…..

-The season premiere of Smallville, sans Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) and the über, über-hot Lana Lang (Kristin Kreuk) definitely had a different vibe to it as four new producers took over from the men who had run the first seven seasons of the series, Al Gough and Miles Millar. Aside from missing Kreuk’s amazing hotness, I was left to wonder how once again the myriad of mysteries spun in one season’s finale can almost all be resolved in the season finale. First, there was the issue of Clark Kent’s whereabouts after being inside the Fortress of Solitude at the North Pole with Lex Luthor when the Fortress exploded in last season’s finale. The answer came courtesy of billionaire superhero Oliver Queen/Green Arrow, who was AWOL much of last season as he and his League of Justice pals - Black Canary, Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash - were off fighting evil around the world. This season, they’re back with a vengeance and their first mission was tracking down Clark’s whereabouts. First stop for the group, at least three-fifths of it, was a LuthorCorp research station in the Arctic Circle (note to the production people at Smallville: you might want to check and make sure that graphics, such as the name of locations for key scenes that are displayed on the screen, aren’t cut off by the edge of the screen with half the name missing. I’m here to help, people) where a gaggle of scientists and crew members are busy scouring the scene where the Fortress used to be. They’re looking for Lex but finding so sign of human remains despite drilling deep into the ice. A surprise attack rattles LuthorCorp’s new CEO, a woman named Tess Mercer, but the only piece of evidence it yields for Green Arrow and friends is Clark’s trademark red jacket. Turns out that the Man of Steel is actually at a work camp in a Russian town whose name was also partially cut off because the geniuses producing the show didn’t place it properly on the screen. He was also stripped of his powers by Jor-El, his Kryptonian father who is clearly trigger-happy and temperamental when it comes to giving or taking away Clark’s powers. Without them, Clark trudged from the Fortress site, passed out after a while and ended up on a fishing boat. From there, he was taken to the work camp and set to work loading and unloading trucks. Finally, Oliver tracks him down, pretends to be interested in buying some black market caviar and asks to have Clark included as part of the purchase. That buys Clark’s freedom, but going home isn't his destination. Instead, Clark is focused on finding Chloe Sullivan, who has also gone AWOL. She was allegedly arrested by the Department of Domestic Security after Lex Luthor ratted her out for her computer hacking transgressions, but the DDS has no record of her ever being arrested. Instead, she’s being held in a remote research facility in a Montana town whose name was also partially cut off by the a-holes doing graphics for the show (damn you, CW!). Initially she’s told that she’s working for the DDS to help catch terrorists using a new power she has developed in addition to her ability to heal people. That ability basically turns her brain into a supercomputer able to break insanely complicated algorithms and codes that even the fastest and best computers can’t. At first, Chloe is willing to help, especially since she’s threatened with 20 years in prison if she doesn’t. Everything is reasonably fine….until Chloe is asked to break an encrypted code for the cell phone numbers of three alleged terrorists. She breaks the first two, but as she’s three numbers for finishing the third cell number, she recognizes it as the number for Oliver Queen and realizes the cell numbers aren't for terrorists; they’re for League of Justice members Aquaman and Black Canary. She then realizes that those holding her aren’t with the government, they’re from LuthorCorp. The first two numbers are used to triangulate the location of Aquaman and Black Canary and they are captured and brought to Montana by LuthorCorp thugs, but Chloe won't decode the final numbers for Oliver’s cell phone. When she refuses, a LuthorCorp exec who was at the Arctic Circle research facility and also was the guy on the jet with Lex last season on the way back from their mission to the St. Christopher’s church in Montreal comes in and informs her that thanks to the meteor powers her mother possessed, Chloe will be forced to cooperate. Chloe’s mother could make people with meteor powers do anything she wanted, so using spinal fluid collected from her before her death, the LuthorCorp thugs inject Chloe and force her to complete the decryption. Doing so reveals that Oliver is actually in the facility already. Along with him is Clark, who is still trying to play the superhero sans super powers. Also on the scene is Lois Lane, who has somehow investigated and tricked her way inside the facility to find Chloe. Lois and Clark team up and find Chloe, but when Lois is knocked out by a Taser blast, Clark has to issue a beatdown and then go find Oliver, who Chloe informs him is surrounded by building security. Unfortuantely, security already found Oliver and injected him with the same serum they gave Chloe. His instructions: find out what happened to Lex in the Arctic, no matter what. Knowing that Clark was there but under the serum’s control, Oliver encounters Clark and demands Lex’s whereabouts. When Clark can’t tell him, Oliver shoots Clark twice with arrows, the second one going clean through Clark and out a window. It appears Clark is a goner, even as Oliver snaps out of his mind control funk and tries to help him. Chloe tries to help too, but her healing powers seem to have vanished and Clark goes limp in her arms. Just as it seems all is lsot, old friend the Martian Manhunter (Phil Morris) appears on the scene. Taking Clark in his arms, he zooms into the stratosphere and right towards the sun, using its healing effect on Clark to bring him back to life. The tactic works and Clark wakes up in the barn at the Kent Farm with Martian Manhunter. The Manhunter explains that while he was supposed to be only a guardian to help guide Clark, he couldn’t let him die and so he flew close to the sun even though its rays have the opposite effect on MM that they have on Clark. In the end, it’s enough to save CK, but now he may need a new kind of saving because the end of the episode revealed that Clark now has a job at the Daily Planet and his desk is opposite that of Lois Lane. Yes, the Man of Steel has finally come to the Planet and in so doing, he explains that he’s trying to leave behind his life in Smallville and on the farm, a life he claims hasn’t been real or really existed for some time now. He also meets up with Oliver, Aquaman and Black Canary on the streets of Metropolis and vows to be part of their quest to find Lex Luthor, who now knows Clark’s secret and is believed to be alive. Hopefully we’ll also be seeing Cyborg and the Flash join the chase, though they didn’t appear this week because they were off scanning the globe for Clark. So until next time, kids……

- Josh Howard, you might want to stop talking for a while, sit this one out. You just don’t seem to be able to keep from making an ass out of yourself every time you make a public comment, so maybe turning into a mime or taking a vow of silence is your best bet. After sparking up (pun intended) a controversy last season for saying in a radio interview during a first-round NBA playoff series against New Orleans that he occasionally smokes marijuana., the Dallas Mavericks forward is at it again. A YouTube video from a charity flag football game in July has Dallas Mavericks forward Josh Howard making an ass out of himself once again, this time by saying, as the national anthem is being sung: “'The Star-Spangled Banner' is going on. I don't celebrate this [expletive]. I'm black.” He also Howard also makes a hard-to-hear reference to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama (see the video here). Oh, you don’t recognize the national anthem because you’re black. Huh? Correct me if I’m wrong, but black men and women have fought and are currently fighting to defend this country, right? Black men and women are involved in all levels of our government, right? Just because you feel like there are some inequities and biases against blacks in the U.S., you can’t recognize the national anthem? Nice take, idiot. Then again, it hasn’t been a banner off-season for my man J. Howard, so why stop acting like a moron now? In July, Howard was arrested and charged with speeding (94 mph in a 55 mph zone), careless and reckless driving, and speed competition in North Carolina. On the heels of his pot-smoking comments, a few things are distinctly clear: 1) dude likes to get baked, 2) he’s not very smart and 3) he doesn’t understand that when he makes public comments, people are going to listen to them. Wise up, Josh, because right now you are making yourself and your team look really, really bad…..it pains me to say that because I love stoners, but it’s the truth, bro……

- Now here’s a protest I can not only get with, it’s one I am throwing my full support behind and am jumping up and down, cheering it on. Okay, so I do that with every riot, protest or act of social dissidence anywhere in the world, but this really is a good cause. It involves 26 blind masseurs in Seoul, South Korea who were arrested 26 after threatening to jump from a bridge to protest a government decision they say will rob them of their livelihood. Some of the men set fire to a car (score!) and two jumped off the bridge into Seoul's Han river, on Thursday. Their protest was in a response to a decision by the South Korean health ministry recently to grant licenses to sighted masseurs and masseuses to practice certain kinds of massages. In a curious policy, since 1963, the law allowed only blind people to practice the profession. The protesters believe the new policy puts their jobs at risk. At present, there are about 15,000 licensed masseurs in the country, which has a blind population of 216,000. “Medical massage is almost the only profession that is open to the blind people. The ministry's decision is threatening our right to live,” Shim Wook-seop, one of the protesting masseurs, stated. Soon, the country's Constitutional Court is expected to rule on an appeal filed by several sighted people who argued that the profession can’t be exclusively for the blind. The anti-handicapped Massager Association of Korea, representing 120,000 unlicensed masseurs who are working openly and in defiance of the law, is leading the legal challenge. I’m torn here, because on one hand, you have to figure that in a nation such as South Korea, life is much more difficult for people with any sort of disability than it is here in the United States. So I would definitely support anything that helps improve the quality of life for these blind masseurs. Furthermore, these people are burning cars and jumping off bridges, which you KNOW I am down with any day of the week. On the other hand, limiting a profession to only blind people when sighted people would like in on it is exclusionary and is the exact type of discrimination that these blind masseurs would be railing against if the situation were reversed. In cases like this, you need one deciding factor to tip the scales, and you know me, I’m going with people staging radical protests and lighting things on fire, so my support goes to…..THE BLIND MASSEURS! Riot on, guys!

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