- Let this be a bit of life experience to teach those of you out there who are trying to scheme up creative promotions to help jump-start your small business. Hoppy Hoffman (his real name? God, I hope not) runs The Design Shoppe, an apparel store in Jonesboro, Arkansas, the home of Arkansas State University. Hoffman is a big Red Wolves fan, so he came up with a promotion for this season that offers fans 1 percent off store merchandise after each home football game for every point the Red Wolves win by. That seems like a good plan, since even a good team should only win by an average of 10-14 points most games and there are only 5-6 home games in a season for most teams. Well, it seemed like a good plan, right up to the point where Arkansas State won its home opener 83-10 on Saturday. For the math-challenged out there, that equates to a 73 percent discount, nearly three-fourths off of everything in the store. Fortunately, Hoffman didn’t seem to mind all but giving away his merchandise. “We had a ball with it," said Hoffman. “It was so much fun yesterday.” The discount is only offered the Monday after each home game, so predictably customers were lining up before the store even opened. “It got crazy,” declared Hoffman. “We opened at 9:30. The people who probably got in line by 10 checked out about 1:30," he said. "When the door opened at 9:30, I know at least 200 people filed in. It was hilarious. ... It looked like they were waiting to buy rock concert tickets.” With four more home games on the schedule, including one against a very good Southern Mississippi team, it looks unlikely that this ginormous discount will be seen again this season. Hopefully those of you in the greater Jonesboro area (and what isn't great about the Jonesboro area, I say) got your gear Monday morning when you had the chance…….
- It only took the senseless beating, kidnapping and slaughter of hundreds of innocent people and two sham elections, but a power-sharing deal has been reached between Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe and the country’s leading opposition group, the Movement for Democratic Change. South African President Thabo Mbeki has been mediating negotiations between the two parties and while details of the agreement were not immediately known, this would seem to be the most positive news out of Zimbabwe in a long time. Mbeki mediated the talks in Harare on behalf of the Southern African Development Community (SADC). For a country that hasn’t had a Cabinet since the debacle of a March presidential election that ignited this whole mess, this could be the first step toward putting together a new government. In that election., Tsvangirai won the most votes in that election, but not enough to avoid a runoff at least according to the government's official count, i.e. Mugabe’s posse. Tsvangirai then pulled out of the June 27 runoff election before the vote, saying at the time he didn’t want to put the lives of Zimbabwe’s citizens at risk by staying in the race and asking them to turn out at the polls. In the past few weeks, the main sticking point in the negotiations for a power-sharing deal had been how much power Mugabe would retain, with Tsvangirai saying that the only way he would sign was if Mugabe gave up some power and his presidency became a ceremonial position. Whether Mugabe lives up to his end of the deal or not (don’t bet on it) remains to be seen, but for the sake of all Zimbabweans, let’s hope he does…….
- Undoubtedly, wherever you live, your city has a lot of crap in a variety of forms. The city of San Antonio is one such city and its officials are looking to take its large quantities of crap and turn them into two things that smell significantly better: cash and renewable energy. Starting in 2010, the San Antonio Water System will sell captured methane gas generated from the utility's treatment of 140,000 tons sewage generated by its customers annually. In a unanimous vote held Tuesday, the city-owned utility's board of trustees approved a contract to provide at least 900,000 cubic feet of natural gas per day from 2010 until 2030 to Ameresco Inc., a Massachusetts-based energy services company. “Treating these biosolids generates an average of 1.5 million cubic feet of gas a day,” said Steve Clouse, SAWS's chief operating officer. “That's enough gas to fill seven commercial blimps or 1,250 tanker trucks each day.” Better still, the water system will receive up to $250,000 a year for the methane, which will be drawn from the utility's Dos Rios Water Recycling Center. Of course, bureaucratic red tape being what it is, it’s going to take 18 to 24 months for construction of facilities needed to fulfill the contract, but it’s a step in the right direction. Anything that is helpful to both the environment and the economy at this point is a huge win for all involved parties. It may not be the T. Boone Pickens plan for wind energy that promises to revolutionize the nation, but a load of crap it ain’t……
- Dating über-hot, air-headed pop tarts, leading the best team in the NFL….and changing flat tires for total strangers on the way home from games. Yup, Tony Romo’s life doesn’t suck right now, that’s for sure. After flying to Cleveland to throttle the Browns 28-10 Sunday afternoon, Romo and his Dallas Cowboys teammates returned to Irving, Tex. and went their separate ways for the day. On the way home, Romo spotted a couple on the side of a busy street, their car sporting a flat tire and no other motorists stopping to offer assistance. Bill and Sharon say that at least 100 drivers ignored their broken-down Mercury before Romo, who Sharon White described as a well-dressed man “with something strange on his chin” (the 13 stitches he received from a cut sustained during the game in Cleveland) walked up and offered a hand. Romo helped the Whites use their faulty air compressor to fill up the tire and sent them on their way. Not looking to call attention to himself, Romo was hesitant about confirming his identity to those he was helping. Sharon White said she asked twice before Romo confirmed who he was. “I did something no 50-year-old woman should be doing……I screamed real loud, and then jumped up and hugged him.” It’s just a good thing it wasn’t Pacman Jones as the Cowboy who stopped, otherwise someone might have been shot or punched…..just kidding, Pac….wait, no I’m not….
- Allow me to clarify something for Colin Terry, a senior British police officer who seems to be confused on the ever-subtle distinction between exercising bad judgment and being a moron. Terry, a chief superintendent with the London police, says he is sorry for attending a community festival dressed as Osama bin Laden and calls his reprehensible actions an “error of judgment.” No, Colin, an error in judgment is when you think you have enough hot dogs for the Fourth of July picnic and come up a dozen short. An error in judgment is thinking that your putt on the fifth hole of the local municipal golf course will break left when it actually breaks right. Going to a community festival dressed as quite possibly the worst guy ever, a man who has organized dozens of terrorist attacks that have killed thousands and thousands of people, that’s being a moron. Thus, you throwing on an Osama bin Laden costume and wearing it to the Grampound Carnival in southwest England on Saturday is not “an error in judgment,” it means you are simply a moron. Now it didn’t help your case when British newspapers on ran pictures of you at the parade, wearing robes and a bin Laden mask, but if you do something as imbecilic as you did, you have to expect people to take notice and begin ripping you immediately. Terry’s explanation for his actions was equal parts nonsensical and idiotic, a claim that the costume was meant to be a clue to his current work, serving with a European Union team helping to train police in Afghanistan. A clue? For what? For who? Who’s supposed to follow this clue? Is there some sort of treasure hunt I’m not aware of? My man, don’t take this personally, but no one gives a rat’s ass what you are doing for your job. People want to see bin Laden caught, but no one cares if you have any part in it. Next time, leave the treasure hunt/clue game to people far smarter than you and either don’t wear a costume or go as Napoleon Dynamite……..
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