Sunday, September 21, 2008

Movies not earning much, a big particle smasher crashes and an evangelist says he's not a pedophile

- This could be a lot of towns and cities across America, but right now it happens to be Dallas, Texas, where teachers and parents in Dallas, Texas, are angry about new grading policies that basically have the aim of pushing students through the system whether their grades and progress justify it or not. One of the most controversial parts of the policy allows a student who fails a test to retake it, with the lower score being tossed out. Yes, if you fail the first time, you get a second chance. Right, because that’s what is going to make these students successful post-high school, the belief that even if they fail, they will always get another chance. Let me tell you something: graduating high school should be automatic. Show up in school 95 percent of the time from age 5 to age 18, make a moderate effort in class and at the end of your senior year, you’ll graduate, guaranteed. It’s not a major accomplishment; it’s a virtual given unless you try NOT to graduate. So if these kids can’t do the most basic things to reach that near-automatic milestone, then don’t help them out. “Instead of setting high expectations and the high standards and holding them to that, we seem to be wanting to lower the bar and give them an excuse not to succeed,” said Dale Kaiser, president of the National Education Association, the teachers union. Unsurprisingly, Dallas Independent School District officials refused multiple interview requests on the subject. Those same district officials say the goal of the grading system is to emphasize learning, not failure. Check out some of the other moronic parts of the policy and see for yourself:
• For elementary and middle school students, only homework grades "that raise a student's average" will be recorded.
• Students must be given one opportunity to turn in homework assignments that weren't finished on time.
• Parents must be contacted before a teacher records a zero in the grade book.

Yes, when your child doesn’t do his or her class work, the teacher needs YOUR permission to give them a zero. Teachers can set deadlines for work to be turned in, but those deadlines carry no weight because kids know they’ll get a second chance anyhow. So maybe parents like the policies, since they give kids extra chances to succeed, right? “I think it's ridiculous,” said parent Bobbie Wilhite. “It's tough out there once you get out of high school. We're already namby-pamby enough for our kids.” So parents don’t like it, teachers don’t like it and outsiders looking in don’t like it. What am I missing here, other than the reasoning skills of a bunch of bureaucratic morons who don’t want the stigma of lots of kids flunking out to reflect poorly on them? Nothing? Didn’t think so……

- I was really pumped up for the premiere of Heroes tomorrow night…..right up to the point where I realized that Fox and NBC had teamed up to totally dick me over. See, Prison Break and Heroes have been two of my absolute favorite shows the past two seasons, with each of them making Monday nights memorable experiences. Last year, in spite of that damned writers’ strike, they teamed up to make many Mondays the best night of TV. Then, Fox ass-hattedly made the decision to shift PB FROM 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. on Monday nights, meaning that it will now be on at the exact same freaking time as Heroes on NBC. Yes, it’s time to pick one or the other to watch - well, at least to watch live. Thanks to the miracles of modern (and not so modern) technology, pretty much anyone who wants to see both shows can do so. If you’re old school, you can cue up the VCR, record one show and watch the other one live. Option #2 would be watching PB live and checking out Heroes either online at NBC.com whenever you want. The third option would be watching one of the two live and TiVo’ing the other one to watch later. A fourth option is PB live and Heroes Tuesday nights when the previous night’s episode is broadcast on the G4 network. None of these are ideal situations, but since the morons at the networks can’t figure out that pitting two of the most awesome shows on TV against each other is a terrible idea, we’ll have to make do with one of them for now……..

- Which point of view to take, which point of view to take…….on one hand, there’s joy that for once, an evangelist or televangelist isn't being accused of gross financial misconduct and bilking naïve donors out of millions of dollars while living a life of luxury and excess. On the other hand, seeing federal and state police raided an evangelist's compound in Arkansas late Saturday to investigate allegations that children have been physically or sexually abused, that’s no good either. The raid is came after a two-year investigation into a compound near Texarkana, Arkansas, owned by Tony Alamo Christian Ministries. Nearly 100 agents were on the 10- to 15-acre site late Saturday to conduct their raid. Oddly enough, Mr. Alamo wasn’t there; he was out in sunny Los Angeles, California, where denied any wrongdoing via phone. “It's a hoax,” Alamo said. “They're just trying to make our church look evil ... by saying I'm a pornographer. Saying that I rape little children. ... I love children. I don't abuse them. Never have. Never will.” Umm, okay. I don’t buy that because while the cops often f’up, they usually do so because they are inept and not that bright, but not because they are looking to frame people. But maybe, just maybe I could go with that…..until Alamo continued his explanation as to why authorities were searching the property. He went where I think exactly zero of the rest of us would go: comparing himself to Christ. “Why were they after Jesus?” he asked. “It's the same reason. Jesus is living within me.” Right, except the authorities in Jesus’ time never accused him of molesting children, Tony. They accused him of many crimes he didn’t commit, but child abuse was not among them. According to officials on the scene, all children found at the compound were interviewd and
the state Department of Human Services also participated in the raid at the church property in the town of Fouke, about 12 miles from Texarkana, to ensure that any children found were treated properly. It isn't Alamo’s first brush with the law; he’s been arrested several times over the years. And what’s not bizarre about a 74-year-old man living on a religious compound often labeled as a cult with dozens of young children? Sorry Tony, but you got some ‘splaining to do……

- I said last week that chicks dig big particle smashers, but the undying admiration of the ladies clearly wasn’t enough to keep the world's largest atom smasher in Geneva, Switzerland from breaking down. The device, which was launched with great fanfare just over a week ago, is more badly damaged than previously thought and will be on the disabled list at least two months. After experts went into the 17-mile (27-kilometer) circular tunnel housing the Large Hadron Collider under the Swiss-French border, and were able to examine the damage that halted operations about 36 hours after its September 10 startup, they made their disappointing determination. “It's too early to say precisely what happened, but it seems to be a faulty electrical connection between two magnets that stopped superconducting, melted and led to a mechanical failure and let the helium out,” a spokesman for the lab said. Reportedly, the sector that was damaged will have to be warmed well above the absolute zero temperature used for operations so repairs can be made, a time-consuming process. However, when something costs $10 billion, you’re best to take the time and effort to repair it correctly. But it is disappointing that a project that has been in its construction stages for more than two decades, and can fire beams of protons from the nuclei of atoms around the tunnels at nearly the speed of light crashes and burns so soon after beginning operations…….

- What do moviegoers want? Right now, the answer to that question appears to be a psycho cop/maniacal neighbor played by Master Windu of Star Wars. Yes, Samuel L. Jackson’s new “Lakeview Terrace” topped the weekend box office for the weekend with $15.6 million in sales. The movie is about a cop terrorizing his new neighbors, and it led a gaggle of new films that, for the most part, were huge disappointments. Another new movie, Lionsgate’s “My Best Friend’s Girl,” debuted at No. 3 with $8.3 million. A movie with Dane Cook and Jason Biggs as two of its stars flopped? No freaking way. Seriously, who saw that coming? Equally disappointing in its debut was MGM's animated comedy "Igor," featuring the voices of John Cusack and Molly Shannon, with $8 million brought in. DreamWorks-Paramount’s supernatural romance "Ghost Town" premiered at No. 8 with $5.2 million. Overall, revenues came in at $93 million, down 4 percent from the same weekend last year. The rest of the top 10 came in thusly: “Burn After Reading,” $11.3 million, “Righteous Kill,” $7.7 million, “Tyler Perry's The Family that Preys,” $7.5 million, “The Women,” $5.3 million (and such a descriptive, imaginative title to boot), “Ghost Town,” $5.2 million, “The Dark Knight,” $3 million, and in tenth place, “The House Bunny,” $2.8 million. Not a single watchable movie among the top five, with the best of the lot the ninth-place film that’s winding down its run in theaters, good times……

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