Sunday, September 28, 2008

More Alberto on tap, another Mets' flop and rooting for Kelsey Peterson to get what's coming to her in prison

- Now here’s an odd couple for you. Placido Domingo and Woody Allen shared the stage at the Met today and while they didn’t bust out a duet, they did appear together to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the tenor's debut there. Their pairing stems from the fact that Allen is fresh from making his own debut as an opera director at the Los Angeles Opera, where Domingo is general director. And of course, what evening of opera would be complete without three transvestites posing as The Three Tenors? Three trannie singers parodied the famed trio that included Domingo, the late Luciano Pavarotti and Jose Carreras. After that, um, interesting display, the two surviving tenors joined several hundred guests for the onstage musical antics before an empty auditorium. Another fun part of the evening showed Domingo in a video clip chatting with Miss Piggy of Muppets fame, along with excerpts from his most renowned performances ranging from Verdi's "Otello" to Wagner's "Die Walkuere.” Of the 126 career roles Domingo has had, 45 have been sung at the Met since his debut on September 28, 1968. Allen’s reason for being on hand is that he directed Puccini's "Gianni Schicchi" in Los Angeles, California, earlier this year. “I brought the low-life element to opera,” Allen said. “It reeked from the streets.” So Woody Allen, two of the Three Tenors and some trannie singers, what more can you ask for if you have to spend an evening at the opera…..

- Good luck in prison, Kelsey Peterson. Of course, I don’t believe in luck, so there’s a good hint at my feelings toward this fat, ugly piece of crap who fled to Mexico with a 13-year-old student so she could have sex with him and was sentenced Monday to six years in federal prison. Peterson had pleaded guilty in July to a charge of transporting a minor across state lines to have sex and avoided a similar charge that would have carried a mandatory 10-year minimum sentence. Personally, I would have liked to see her get hit with as much jail time as possible, but with the right fellow inmates, the right objectives could be achieved in just six years. So stick her with the biggest, meanest, most predatory inmate you have any let happen what it may. It may not even matter that she will be credited for nearly one year she has served and could get another year off for good behavior if Bertha is her cellmate and has her way with Peterson. Fortunately, this guilty plea doesn't mean Peterson is off the hook on state charges, which include kidnapping and first-degree sexual assault. Attorney James Martin Davis hopes those charges will be dropped, but Dawson County Attorney Elizabeth Waterman said she will proceed with a state case. I’d say that’s a safe move for a woman who started having sex with a boy when he was 12 years old and a student at the middle school where she taught in the south-central Nebraska town of Lexington. Oh, and nice defense strategy by Davis, publicly questioning the boy's birth certificate and alleging that he was probably at least 16 and was the aggressor. Sorry, but where are you getting your legal strategies, from the Summer Olympics and Little League World Series? Junior high students don’t usually forge birth certificates like Chinese Olympic gymnasts and Little Leaguers from Taiwan do. So here’s hoping for the longest, hardest time behind bars that you can possibly get, Kelsey, you deserve it…..

- So rehab does not appear to have worked for Heather Locklear. Just a few months after leaving a treatment facility, Locklear was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance Saturday afternoon in Montecito, Calif. The former Melrose Place and Spin City star was pulled over by the California Highway Patrol after a resident reported the actress was “driving erratically.” Always a good tip-off that someone is drunk, when using multiple lanes of the highway for no apparent reason and doing so at random. Amazingly, when she was questioned, Locklear appeared to “be under the influence of something,” a patrol spokesman said. Maybe she was just under the influence of a beautiful Southern California evening, did anyone consider that? I guess not, because after being tested for alcohol and drugs, the 47-year-old was booked at 7 p.m. on suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription medication. On the heels of being treated for anxiety and depression earlier this year, definitely not a good sign. Why is it that no one takes seriously those warnings not to drive or operate heavy machinery after taking certain meds? Just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you are above following the instructions on your pill bottles, celebrities…..

- Nice choke job accomplished, New York Mets. Once again, the Metropolitans have come from ahead to lose, snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and missed the postseason despite being in the lead for a playoff berth for much of the second half of the season. This time around, New York’s second-favorite team threw away any chance at the division title before the final weekend of the season and had to be content with pissing away the wild card. They accomplished this by losing two of their final three games, all at home, while Milwaukee won 2 of 3 at home against the Chicago Cubs. The Marlins also denied the Mets their postseason shot last year by pulverizing them in the final series, so it was a nice sense of déjà vu there. What a way to close out Shea Stadium, which will be replaced by a new ballpark being built right next store, starting in 2009. Actually, Shea is such a dirty, ugly, poorly built crap hole that blowing two straight postseason chances there in two years is an incredibly appropriate way to close it out. Nicely done, Mets, now go ahead and start booking your vacations and tee times because your offseason is officially underway. Look forward to seeing you go for Choke #3 in 2009…….

- So remember that whole Alberto Gonzales mess wherein nine attorneys general across the U.S. were fired because the W. administration viewed them as political rivals? You know, the one that led to Gonzales going before Congress and forgetting anything and everything that might incriminate him and double talking with skills that would make the sleaziest used car salesman look bad by comparison? Well, it turns out that whole thing isn't over just yet. A special prosecutor will conduct an independent investigation into the conduct of Justice Department officials involved in the firings of those nine U.S. attorneys Connecticut federal prosecutor Nora Dannehy will be leading the charge and she will have the power to empanel a grand jury if she chooses. That announcement came from current Attorney General Michael Mukasey within minutes of the release of a report by the Justice Department inspector general that found that the 2006 firings were "fundamentally flawed.” The report went on to call the firings “unprecedented” and is harshly critical of Gonzales (shocker!) for not paying attention to the actions of his chief of staff, Kyle Sampson, whom the report identifies as the driving force in the firings. Additionally, the report says that a prosecutor should look at “"whether Sampson or other Department officials made false statements to Congress or to us” about the firing of U.S. Attorney David Iglesias of New Mexico. Heck, there are even directions to investigage possible obstruction of justice or wire fraud was involved in the Iglesias firing, and whether there was an effort by Sen. Pete Domenici or Rep. Heather Wilson, both New Mexico Republicans, to press Iglesias to bring an indictment before an election. Personally, I’m hoping to see my boy Alberto on the stand again being questioned, because listening to him continually contradict himself, lie, manipulate and distort the truth while being as convincing as a first grader in a bad grade school play was hilarious. Bring on the clown one more time, this nation needs a laugh…..

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