- Hopefully none of you were injured in the carnage that was last Friday’s bum rush of every single store in America in order to secure the absolute best deals on any and every item on sale. It never ceases to amaze me how many morons get up and wait outside of Best Buy, Target, JC Penney, Circuit City, Office Max, Old Navy, etc. at 4 a.m. to try and snag the best bargains the day after Thanksgiving. Really, that’s the best way you can think of to spend your day off on the long holiday weekend, crowding with dozens of other morons outside the store and then running them over, shoving them, elbowing them out of the way and doing whatever else it takes to get your desired items once inside? Right, because clearly nothing screams “Christmas spirit!” quite like that. Is the person you’re giving a gift to really going to care if you got the item the day after Thanksgiving or if you looked around, shopped smart and found the same item for a comparable price a week later? And if you wait, you don’t have to worry about those unsightly blood stains on the packaging that will result when you use your keys to slash the arm of that other woman as she tries to grab the last Nintendo Wii off the shelf before you can get to it. As always, I’m here to help, holiday shoppers, I’m a wealth of sensical knowledge ready to assist in any way possible.
- You f’ with a bear long enough, eventually that bear is going to battle back. That lesson comes to us from Farmington, Pa., where an aspiring zookeeper who suffered a bite from a bear and needed eight stitches to close the wound. A second man, also unidentified, suffered minor injuries when trying to rescue the bite victim and had the bear scratch him. This occurred at Woodland Zoo and More (clearly, the place lives up to its name, what with the added bonus of bear attacks), a private zoo where the bite victim was in a program for budding zookeepers. According to Sonny Herring, owner of the zoo, both victims were home within a few hours. All we know about the primary victim here is that he is a Frostburg State University (Md.) student who was taking part in a behind-the-scenes tour of the zoo called “zookeeper for a day.” Based on the experience, I have the feeling this might have been this guy’s first, last and only day as a zookeeper…..
- My interest in the NFL is at an all-time low this year, but one thing keeps me riveted week after week, and it sure ain’t the New England Patriots and those arrogant bastards seeking the league’s first perfect season in 35 years. No, what has me locked in week after week is those amazin’ Miami Dolphins and their quest for the reverse perfect season, 0-16. Tonight, that dream season nearly came to a crashing halt due to rainy, muddy, sloppy conditions in Pittsburgh, where the Dolphins were playing the Steelers on Monday Night Football. Thankfully, the Dolphins dug deep, searched their souls and found the strength to do what it took to lose one more time. With the game scoreless late in the fourth quarter and lurching toward a sudden-death overtime period where anything could happen, the Miami defense and special teams capitalized on the ineptness of the Dolphin offense to hand the Steelers a win. After the offense failed to move the ball at all on its last possession and set up a punt from their own end zone, the special teams unit combined a bad punt and mediocre coverage to set Pittsburgh up inside the Miami 40-yard line. From there, the defense did its best Swiss cheese impression, allowing Pittsburgh’s offense too trudge through the mud to the 5-yard-line, where the Steelers set up a game-winning field goal that kicker Jeff Reed punched through. Final score: Steelers 3, Dolphins 0. Not pretty, but it accomplishes the goal, losing another game to drop to 0-11. Unfortunately, the remaining schedule for Miami scares the hell out of me, because there are at least two games they could actually slip up and win if they don’t stay focused. Next week’s game at home against the 2-9 New York Jets is the most frightening, because like Miami, the Jets have recently switched to a young, raw quarterback and have struggled on offense since the move (they struggled before too, so nothing has changed much). The Jets have already beaten the Dolphins once, but now they have to go to Miami and they’re just bad enough to lose this game. If the Dolphins can get the job done and lose this one, I think they have smooth sailing until their final game, Their next three are against Buffalo (5-6), New England (11-0, may win by 70 against Miami) and Baltimore (4-7 but with a great defense that should be able to shut down Miami). The last game of the schedule for Miami is nearly as scary as the Jets game: Cincinnati. The Bengals have an offense that is among the four or five most talented in the NFL, but a porous defense and erratic overall team performance make them an enigma that could blow Miami out 42-7 or could tank in a meaningless game and lose. But as the cliché goes, right now, the Dolphins need to take it one game at a time, continuing to not do what it takes to win and make sure the dream of a reverse perfect season comes true.
- You can never totally evaluate any single episode of Heroes right after watching it because there’s just so much to digest, but Monday night’s episode had some good and bad points that are clear even though the show just ended. The drama and surprise factor were great, with the end-of-episode return of Sylar to New York the capper on the night. That Sylar is now in possession of Molly sets up next week’s drama, when you can bet he’ll demand that Mohinder give him the blood he’s taken from Claire to Sylar can be healed and regain his ability to take powers away from others and claim them as his own. He already returned to his murderous ways this week, killing Alejandro on the way to New York when the truth about his past, including killing his mother, came out. He uses the opportunity to form a bond with Maya, who knows the felling of being a killer. Sylar convinces her that she no longer needs her brother and that he resents her anyhow for all she’s done. He then kills Alejandro but keeps it from Maya, who thinks her brother has left to go back to Venezuela. Also back in NYC, a back-from-the-dead H.R.G. is in company custody as Mohinder treats him in a dingy observation room. Mohinder has clearly turned on H.R.G and no longer buys what he’s selling, because as H.R.G. continues to warn him about how evil the company is, Mohinder shoots him down and blames most of the recent problems on H.R.G. himself. Peter Petrelli and Adam Monroe have problems of their own, with Peter warning Adam about the virus the company has and how it is going to wipe out 93 percent of the world’s population by next year. That leads the two of them to travel to Maine, where they find Victoria Pratt, who created the virus back in 1977 for the company. Using his ability to read minds, Peter finds out from Victoria that the virus is being stored at Primatech Paper back in Odessa, Texas. This comes after Victoria delivers shotgun blasts to Peter and Adam, but since both of them can heal, they walk away unscathed. Speaking of 1977, Hiro Nakamura made his own trip there, time traveling back after finding out that in 1977, his father was the one who ordered Adam to be locked up. What Hiro finds is that his father, Kaito Nakamura, locked up Adam after he tried to release the virus. Adam claimed he had a plan and purpose, but off he went to lockup. When Hero returns to 2007, he heads to Odessa, where he helped to “Save the cheerleader” in Season 1, to confront Adam Monroe. When he gets there and stops time, he finds that Peter is there with Adam and refuses to allow Hiro to kill Adam. At episode’s end, Hiro is charging at Peter, brandishing a Takezo Kensei sword. Out in California, Claire Bennet is brandishing a weapon of her own; her fist. That weapon is aimed at Elle, daughter of Bob, head o the company, who has been assigned to keep tabs on Claire in the days after the supposed death of her father, H.R.G. As the Bennet family prepares to move to Salt Lake City to get away from trouble, they go to the cliffs near their house to spread H.R.G.’s ashes and say goodbye. While there, Claire spots Elle, watching from her rental car nearby. When Elle can’t get the car started in time to get away, she gets out to confront Claire, who chokes her and then threatens to expose the company for what they’ve done to he family. Claire vows to tell the world about her power and to bring the company’s heinous deeds to light, but the question is how. On the side, the other story line from the episode, one that predictably seems pointless and has little bearing on the big picture, involves Monica and Micah down in New Orleans. The Monica character has felt unnecessary and pointless every time she’s been on the show, and I still don’t know why she’s around, nor do I care. However, with Niki in town to visit Micah, Micah’s annoying cousin Damon steals his backpack, with valuable comic books and Micah’s dead father’s medal for bravery for saving a young girl’s life in a fire inside, and takes it to some neighborhood kids who promise to tell him how valuable the comics are. Instead, they jump him and steal the backpack, prompting Monica and Micah to go on a mission to get the items back. Things go awry, though, and Monica is caught by the guys who stole the backpack, knocked out and thrown into the back of their van. Again, this just seems like a total waste of time and it should just be axed from the show because it’s taking up screen time from characters we actually give a crap about. Also, I’m wondering why the vagueness about next week’s “finale”? I assume it’s a fall finale, as happened last season. Or maybe with the writers’ strike ongoing, it’s the finale for the foreseeable future, as NBC doesn’t know when the rest of the season will be completed. Either way, I wish they’d stop the cloak-and-dagger bullsh*t, because the way they’re talking sounds like it’s the end for the show, period. We all know that’s not true, because this series is just getting going, but that’s the vibe the network is giving off. Of course, the with strike now looking like it will go on at least another month, there’s no telling when the show will return…..Elsewhere in TV land, The Amazing Race was still in Africa, where Team Cougar (aging blondes Shana and Jennifer who still are under the mistaken impression that they’re as hot now as they were ten years ago) became the first team in this season’s race to make a shady, underhanded move to eliminate a team they perceived as a threat. With the team of dating couple Lorena and Jason already in last place and struggling to catch up, Team Cougar used a U-Turn, a maneuver that forces the U-Turned team to complete an additional challenge before moving ahead in the race, which set Lorena and Jason back far enough that they finished last and were eliminated from the race. Other teams had the class not to use the U-Turn, but Team Cougar did and other teams didn’t agree with it. Team Cougar did, however, excel at one challenge that required teams to learn and perform a traditional African tribal dance. Mixing in their own style clearly ripped from their cardio-striptease class, the Cougars danced their way to success. Still, the top two teams continue to be the brother-sister duo of Azakiah and Hendekiah and the dating team of Nate and Jen. The most likeable team continues to be Nicholas and Donald, the grandson and grandfather whose elder half in a crusty, salty old dude who has an awesome fire to him. Thank goodness this is one show that won't be affected by the writers' strike.
- If anyone disagrees with you, just brand them a traitor. Not only is that a great life mantra, it’s the new stance adopted by Venezuelan despot/dictator Hugo Chavez in regards to the hundreds of thousands of Venezuelan citizens who have, gasp, had the audacity to oppose Chavez’s proposed constitutional reforms that would basically install him as the country’s dictator for life. Again, he made these inflammatory comments at a gathering of his supporters, which Chavez seems to be doing every day now. Seriously, it’s like this guy needs to meet with massive crowds of people who agree with him every day to boost his ego and reaffirm that he’s as great as he thinks he is. But it’s good of you to really dig deep, think insightfully and just lump everyone who doesn’t agree with you as a traitor, Hugo. Because clearly if they don’t blindly agree with everything you say as their leader, then they are traitors. Welcome to Venezuela, where there’s no room for differing opinions and if you don’t 100 percent fall in line with your leader, then you’re betraying your country. By the way, recent polls have shown that 49 percent of likely voters definitively oppose the proposed reforms, while only 39 percent support them. As for the other 12 percent, make up your freaking minds……
No comments:
Post a Comment