- This really isn’t going to help make the case that you’re not just a brain-dead bimbo whose sole positive quality and contribution to the world is having a nice rack, Hooters girl. Ashly Duchene, 22, (oh good, another way to spell Ashley/Ashlee/Ashleigh, we were desperately in need of new ways to spell that name) has been arrested in Phoenix and charged with negligent homicide after leaving her 1-year-old son inside her car in 90-degree heat while she went inside and worked her shift serving chicken wings to drooling, lecherous patrons. Normally Duchene took her son to day car, but on this particular day she either forgot (possible, considering who we’re dealing with, but unlikely) or for some reason chose not to and thought she could get away with leaving him in the car for a few hours. Let this be a warning to all Hooters girls out there: You may not be smart, you may be OK with a bunch of dudes eyeing you up all day long in your skin-tight shirt and orange booty shorts, but even you have to be bright enough to know that leaving a child of any age alone in your car for hours on a hot day is a bad idea.
- How deceitful, duplicitous, underhanded, dishonest and evasive is the W. administration when it comes to torture and whether it is happening and or approved by the administration? Well, it’s to the extent that even someone who isn’t officially a part of the administration yet and is merely a nominee for a post refuses to admit that the waterboarding technique (allegedly) applied to terrorism suspects by intelligence personnel in secret overseas prisons is actually torture. Michael Mukasey, appearing before Congress in his confirmation hearings for his nomination for attorney general, staunchly refused to call waterboarding, the torture technique (reportedly) administered to terror suspects in secret CIA prison in other countries, is in fact torture. As a result, several senators, including Senate Majority Whip Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., have said that they will vote against Mukasey when his nomination is voted on by the Senate as a whole. Mukasey, you have got to become a better liar or you’ll never make it in politics. Just say that you think waterboarding is torture so you can appease the nice senators in expensive suits and get confirmed, then go on doing whatever you want whether it’s legal and ethical or not, just like W. and the rest of his administration.
- Why the hate for pirates, U.S. military? Didn’t you all see Johnny Depp and his charming crew of cagey pirates in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? He was awesome, the movies were great and women everywhere fell in love with Captain Jack Sparrow. Yet in spite of this perfectly viable evidence of how cool pirates are, the U.S. Navy is going hard after pirates in the dangerous waters off the coast of Somalia. Twice in the past week, the navy has gone to the rescue of hijacked cargo ships and looked to take down the pirates responsible for the hijackings. Naval ships are currently tracking a pirate ship responsible for one of the attacks after destroying two skiffs tethered to the sides of the pirate vessel. I say it’s time for the navy to tone down the pirate hate, because these pirates are just trying to earn a (dis)honest living like everyone else. And whatever you do, don’t try to take away their rum or mess with it in any way, because that could start an all-out war. Ultimately, I hope you make the right choice and leave these guys alone to loot, pillage and plunder.
- And the strike is on…..despite the last-ditch meeting today to avoid a work stoppage by the Writers Guild of America, no deal was reached with the representatives of the guild and the networks and studios, so for the first time in nearly two decades, the writers of TV’s top shows and many movies will go on strike. The strike officially begins tomorrow, with the guild’s president, Patric Verrone (all those writers and none of them could come up with the “k” to finish off this guy’s first name?) announcing the decision at a closed-door meeting and being greeted with cheers by the members of the WGA. “There was a unified feeling in the room,” writer Dave Garrett said. “I don’t think anyone wants to go on strike, but people are behind the negotiation committee.” The first casualty will be late-night talk shows, which rely heavily on comedy writers for monologues and bits they do. Ironically, even though those doing the show are comedians, they can’t actually supply enough jokes on their own, go figure. Networks will be able to survive for a few months with the new episodes of their dramas and sitcoms already filmed but not aired, and movie studios have stockpiled enough scripts to get by for the time being. The divisive issue on the table remains the desire of the writers to have their payments from sales of DVDs and digital versions of their shows increased. Normally I don’t give a crap about strikes and lockouts, but this one I hope to see settled quickly, lest the blight that is reality TV totally take over the airwaves in light of my favorite shows.
- Ladies, I know that finding the right guy is difficult. We’ve all heard your complaints about how “all the good ones are taken.” That being said, even if you can’t find a good man where you live, dating a 13-year-old student at the middle school where you teach is not an acceptable recourse. Kelsey Peterson, a sixth-grade teacher and basketball coach at Lexington Middle School in Omaha, Neb., was placed on administrative leave last week when school officials learned of her affair with a student at the school. That didn’t sit well with Peterson and her young paramour, because they are now missing, presumed to be on the run from the law. Peterson is wanted for kidnapping, child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. To which I reply, abuse? Not if you ask this kid’s classmates. To them, he’ll be a hero for the rest of his life. He would be an even bigger hero if Peterson was actually hot, but she’s not. She’s a beefy, not especially attractive woman, but for 13-year-old boys, getting with your teacher is cause for celebration no matter what. Stay tuned to this one, because I’m not giving up on this story til it reaches its awesome conclusion.
- Nice to see that Drew Carey is using his newfound muscle at host of The Price is Right to make a difference fighting for good causes. As a fellow native Northeast Ohioan, I couldn’t be prouder to see Carey speaking out about the legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes in an online video at http://reason.tv/video/show/57.html. The video shows Carey visiting a California pharmacy and comparing the effects of alcohol, which is legal, and the hippie lettuce. It’s a humorous video but it gets its messages across on behalf of the Reason Foundation, an organization dedicated to “developing, applying and promoting libertarian principles, including individual liberty, free markets and the rule of law.” In other words, you all want the right to toke up and not get arrested for it. That’s fine, but lost the fancy, eloquent, wordy mantra and just call yourselves what you are: aspiring stoners. There’s nothing wrong with it, so just admit it. Heck, your state’s governor is on record as saying that he doesn’t even think marijuana is really a drug, but rather a leaf. I don’t think that the previous host of Price is Right, octogenarian Bob Barker, would be doing these ads, because he appeared to be primarily concerned with spaying and neutering pets. To each his own, I guess, new generation, new causes.
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