- See W., it IS possible. You can withdraw troops from Iraq, you aren’t limited to just adding more into the fracas. This isn't like putting your pennies in one of those clear plastic donation boxes that sit on store counters, collecting money for charitable causes. Those things have only one tiny slot to put money in and once you put your change in, you can’t get it back out. Conversely, you CAN get your troops out of Iraq, it is possible. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has declared that his country will be pulling out 20 percent of its troops that are currently in Iraq and will do so in the next few weeks. What’s amazing about this is the Iraqi leaders say that within two months, they’ll be ready to take up the responsibilities of the British troops that are leaving. So they can survive losing British troops, but we can't bring any of our troops home and need to send more? How f’d up is that? I realize that we have scores and scores more troops there than anyone else (yay us!), but we need to follow the lead of the British and get our guys the heck out of there. This upcoming fight over additional funding for the Mess O’Potamia is going to get very ugly and contentious and W. is going to have even less of a leg to stand on in asking Congress to help him further this debacle when other countries are pulling their troops out and the Iraqi government is still failing to meet the majority of the benchmarks set for it. This new announcement from Brown comes on the heels of the Brits abandoning their last remaining base in Basra last month, so the British government is clearly responding to the outcry from its citizens against the war in Iraq, something from which W. and his stooges out to take a hint.
- Youth rallies? What are we talkin’ about, youth rallies? Yes, Allen Iverson, we are talking about youth rallies, specifically the youth rallies and personal appearances you were scheduled to make in Omaha, Neb. during one recent weekend, the same rallies and appearances you bailed on. These may not be the high-priced commercial and advertising gigs you go out and die for and film every commercial like it’s your last, but that doesn’t mean you can just not show up at all, which is what a promoter in Omaha alleges that you did. A.I. was allegedly scheduled to make appearances at a youth rally and two other events in Omaha in early August but failed to show up for any of them, leaving a conspicuous void in the schedule at all three locations. The promoter has filed a lawsuit against the Denver Nuggets star, seeking $44,000 in damages. I hate to crack on A.I., especially because he’s responsible for one of the greatest spoiled, I-just-don’t-get-it athlete quotes of all time, but this is bad form. If you agree to appear somewhere, then you either follow through or you let them know in advance that you can’t make it. Don’t big-time people, not when you already have a reputation for not being the best guy in the world and being a troublemaker. Show up when and where you promise to show up, A.I., and that includes showing up at youth rallies and actually bothering to show up in the NBA playoffs instead of no-showing there when your team needs you most…..
- Someone might want to tell the Philadelphia Phillies that the playoffs have started, because they don’t seem to know. The Phills opened their series with the Colorado Rockies in the worst possible fashion, not only losing the first two games at home but not looking very competitive in doing so. The Phillies were shut down by Jeff Francis in Game One, getting a hearty 0-11 from their three top hitters. In Game Two, their offense showed up but their pitching was on par with what most Little Leaguers could do. Now the have to get on a plane, fly to Denver and win two games in the home park of the hottest team in baseball if they want to keep their season alive. Puss-throwing veteran lefty Jamie Moyer is set to pitch Game Three for Philly, but if their offensive tandem of Utley and Howard don’t contribute something, the pitching isn't going to matter much one way or the other. Over in the American League, the Yankees definitely know the postseason has started, because the Indians informed them of that fact by taking out their Louisville Sluggers and bashing the Bronx Bombers’ collective head in. Before the series, everyone seemed enthralled by New York’s offensive firepower, but it was the Indians who took advantage of the Yanks’ pathetic pitching to score a 12-3 win. That same subpar pitching should allow the Indians to win the series, although it is just one game. Still, with 19-game winner Fausto Carmona going Friday, the Indians have a great chance to stake themselves to a solid 2-0 series lead. Oh, and I hope all the Cub fans out there enjoyed the team’s brief foray back into the playoffs, because it’s going to be a very short visit for the loveable losers from the North Side. The Cubs have shown in the first two games of their series against Arizona that of all the eight teams to make the playoffs this year, they absolutely don’t belong. Shoddy pitching in key spots, a totally anemic offense and a lack of execution in pressure situations are clear evidence that the Cubs are only in the postseason because they won a crappy division and someone from the NL Central had to make the playoffs. Honestly, the swooning Mets or the San Diego Padres, who lost out in a tiebreaker for the wild card, would have made far better playoff teams than the choking Cubbies. Thursday night’s game featured a stink bomb of a start by Ted Lilly, more ineptitude by Whiff-meister General Alfonso Soriano and a lack of offense that is offensive to t-ballers everywhere. Seriously, Soriano is conjuring up an eerie resemblance to Cerrano from Major League, because clearly anything other than a straight-as-an-arrow fastball baffles this guy. Hey Alfonso, there’s this crazy pitch called a curveball, it doesn’t go in a straight line, it curves. Pitchers throw it and you have to actually try to hit it with a different swing than you normally use. You can’t just flail at it the same way you do at a fastball and expect to hit it. But hey, after Game Three on Saturday, your season will be over and you’ll have plenty of time to try and figure this out. Adios, losers.
- So we finally started to get some answers for the fallout from last season’s Smallville finale and this season’s premiere, and as it turns out, I’m just as smart as I thought I was. Tonight’s second episode the season for Smallville formally introduced us to Clark Kent’s cousin Kara, but just as importantly, it confirmed my guess that Lana staged her own death and jumped onto the passing delivery truck in last season’s finale. OK, so maybe I’m gloating too much on being right, so let’s move on to this new episode. As it turns out, Kara has a spaceship of her own, just like Clark had, and when Clark and Lois discover the ship, Kara isn't happy. Lois ends up unconscious and Clark is left in the dust when Kara takes flight. Kara doesn’t immediately recognize Clark because she doesn’t realize that she’s been in suspended animation for 18 years and thus Clark isn't the cute baby she remembers, but rather the same age as her. The spaceship saga also introduces us to a mysterious new character, a government agent working for the Department of Domestic Security. This guy steals the special crystal from Kara’s ship that contains vital instructions and information for her and takes it in for analysis. On the other side of the world, literally, Lana and Lex have a less-than-joyful reunion when Lex is cleared of murder charges and realizes that Lana is still alive. He tracks her down in Shanghai, apologizes and says she can return to Smallville and live her life peacefully, which based on the previews for next week, she decides to do. And how did Lex get off for murder, you ask? Well, despite the fact that Lionel Luthor (John Glover) has been AWOL on screen this season so far, he paid off a LuthorCorp employee who was dying of cancer to take the fall for Lana’s murder – except there was no murder. That’s because although I called the jump-onto-the-delivery-truck move, what I didn’t see was the culmination of the whole fake pregnancy story from last year, which as it turns out was Lex cloning Lana as part of his 33.1 experiments. Lana found her clone, which hadn’t been brought to life yet, and used it to plant in her vehicle before she blew it up, thus making it appear that she really did die and providing all the necessary DNA evidence to prove it. An interesting monkey wrench was thrown into the show at the end of the episode, when Clark returns to the Fortress of Solitude and is told by his father, Jor-El, that his cousin Kara is more dangerous than she appears and insinuating that she’s up to no good. Is that true, or is it just sour grapes from Jor-El to the child of his brother, Zor-El? Also, how is the Clark-Lana reunion going to go, now that she’s returning to Smallville and for the first time when she knows his secret? Right now, the show is mixing in a lot of new characters and information and changing quickly, which is a good thing (oh, Zach from The O.C. has joined the cast too), because hopefully it will add more life and length to Smallville’s run. Regardless, it’s been a very strong start to the season for the only good show remaining on the CW.
- That’s it, I’m officially starting a campaign to kill Frank Caliendo and destroy all the footage he’s shot for commercials for his new show, who’s with me? There’s saturation, there’s overkill and then there’s what TBS is doing with promoting Frank TV, Caliendo’s new show on the network premiering next month. I get it, OK? The guy does impressions of famous people, ha ha. I don’t care if it was Jerry Seinfeld in his TV prime, Dave Chapelle, Dane Cook, Johnny Carson or Jay Leno, if you show me that many commercials of the same entertainer over and over, I’m going to start devising painful and torturous ways to kill that individual. Honestly, I’m not saying this for effect: I am genuinely against this show even though I’ve never seen it and from everything I’ve heard, Frank Caliendo is generally considered to be a funny guy. I am that put off by TBS’ attempts to ram this show down my throat that I won't even consider watching it. Just think of a song you’ve heard, maybe even one that you actually liked. If you play that song over and over and over and over, eventually you stop enjoying it and start despising it. TBS and every other network with a new show to promote needs to understand this principle and stop the overkill, because the backlash from it is going to far outweigh any good you all think you’re doing by promoting the show so heavily.
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