- Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, but shouldn't the University of Alabama be pumped that some of its student-athletes are actually taking an interest in their textbooks? Sure, the reason they're getting more textbooks than they're allowed under NCAA rules is probably so they can turn around and sell those extra books for beer money or so they can give them to friends in the class so those friends don't have to buy their own books. But the university launching an investigation into the distribution of textbooks to scholarship athletes in all sports after five UA football players were suspended from the team for violating rules covering free books for course work just seems a little vindictive to me. The investigation is to determine whether any other athletes got more books for classes than they are permitted under NCAA rules. And to think that it only took a few months for Nick Saban to find himself knee-deep in the middle of his first scandal....of course, with Saban he usually only has a few months at any given stop before he starts getting ready to jump ship to his next coaching job. Still, it just strikes an incredibly ironic chord to hear that football players at a major Division 1-A football factory are in trouble not for ignoring their textbooks and classes but rather for getting too many textbooks.
- I can totally understand how Marie Osmond fainted this week on Dancing with the D-LIst Stars. After all, I nearly pass out from sheer boredom and disinterest any time I'm flipping through the channels and stumble across as little as 2-3 seconds of that spectacularly big waste of time, energy and bandwidth. And no, losers who double as fans of this show, I don't care who has been voted off the show this week, who's left, who Osmond's partner is or about your arguments that I shouldn't knock it because dancing is hard and I couldn't do what those people do. Know what? You're right, I can't do it, nor do I want to. But I also can't do brain surgery, engineer a skyscraper, fix a car engine or fly a jumbo jet, but that doesn't mean those things should have their own reality shows. Look, when the host of your show has also had stints as the host of Hollywood Squares (I'll take that fat-ass Bruce Vilanch for the block) and America's Funniest/Lamest Home Videos, suffice it to say that you're not exactly a quality program. Anyone who pays even one cent to call in and vote on any of these totally lame reality competition shows is nearly as big of a loser as the hacks who appear on them. Go away losers, you are a waste of everyone's time.
- Not too many things say white-trash redneck like getting your late-night grub on at the Waffle House, so it's no surprise that earlier this week, poseur rocker Kid Rock and several members of his posse were arrested at an Atlanta-area Waffle House restaurant. Kid and five members of his crew were arrested around 5 a.m. while out for a post-concert meal. An altercation broke out between Kid Rock, a.k.a. Bob Ritchie, and another patron. They exchanged words and things escalated to the point that the two of them went out to the parking lot to fight. At some point during the brawl, the other guy punched a hole through a restaurant window and soon enough, the cops were on the scene. Kid Rock and his five companions spent about 12 hours in jail before they were released. This whole thing got me to thinking, wondering exactly what got this whole mess started. I mean, did this other guy tell Kid Rock that his music sucked? Because if that's what happened, I hate to tell you this, Kid, but the guy is right. Your music is about as subtle, well-crafted and skillful as a truncheon to the back of the head and with about the same listenability. You need to take it easy, not go Fight Club on people at the Waffle House in the early hours of the morning and from now on, just hit up the nice dressing room spread they have for you at the show.
- Chris Hansen and his To Catch a Predator crew can breathe a little easier now that the courts have sided with them. The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Monday that law enforcement officers investigating sexual predators can in fact pose as children in order to help them catch their targets. In its decision, the court stated that the First Amendment does not protect a person in such cases. The specific case before the court was the case of Frank Gagliardi, a perv, er, defendant who was convicted of attempting to entice a child into prohibited sexual activity. His lawyers argued that the law required an actual child victim be present for their client to be guilty. I guess not, Frankie, because the court upheld your conviction and now you get to go directly to the bottom of the prison food chain along with guys who abuse women and all of the other child-molesting perverts. Hope you and your new cellmate Tiny are very happy together....
- Have you ever wondered what the biggest cog in the Italian economy is? Is it tourism, with all of the amazing historical and cultural sites to visit? Or maybe it's agriculture, with the country being the home of pasta, pizza, wine and much more....or it's organized crime. Yes, that's right, a new study has found that organized crime, a.k.a. the mafia, makes up the largest segment of the Italian economy. Organized crime brings in about $127 billion (yes, billion with a "b") annually, meaning it makes up 7 percent of the country's gross domestic product. So just what does the mafia do to earn so much money? Well, their earnings come from wholesome, morally-upright activities like extortion, drug trafficking, loan-sharking and prostitution - or as I call them, the four strong pillars of any great economy. If you've got your cash flow from extortion and loan-sharking, you can then afford to buy your blow and weed to do with the nice Italian hooker you arranged to have come to your place on a given night. Now some business lobbies in Italy are waging public campaigns to increase public awareness of the prevalence of organized crime and its supposed corrupting influence on the country, an influence these uptight lobbyists argue keeps foreigners from investing in the Italian economy. C'mon, people, if investors can't get behind loan sharks, drug dealers, extortionists and hookers, who can they get behind? Go with your strengths, be who you are, because clearly Italy has an identity - that of being run and dominated by the mafia and their schemes and plans.
- Speaking of playing to your strengths....props to the Sioux Falls Airport for sticking with an identity that it has tried to shake in the past and instead choosing to embrace that identity. One of Iowa's main airports has in the past fought to have its airport code, the three-letter moniker that goes on baggage tags, flight information and pretty much everything else in every airport, changed from the supposedly unflattering SUX to...well, anything else it could get from the Federal Aviation Administration. In both 1988 and 2002, officials at the Sioux Falls Airport petitioned the FAA to change their code and at one point, the FAA responded with several possible options: GWU, GYO, GYT, SGV or...wait for it....wait for it.....GAY. Yes, GAY, that wouldn't lead to very many jokes....GAY might be one of the four or five options worse than SUX. Thus, SUX elected to keep its code and now they've turned that perceived weakness into a strength. Their now slogan, "FLY SUX," will be printed on hats, t-shirts and other merchandise and will be the tagline for a new campaign. I actually like the idea and quite frankly, if I ever had a single reason or desire to travel to Iowa, SUX is the airport I would choose to fly into. As is, I plan to avoid Iowa like the plague for the rest of my life if possible, but I still like the slogan. Assuming those hats and shirts aren't some ridiculous amount like $20 apiece, I just might order one or both of them. Good job, SUX, maybe you don't actually SUX............
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