Sunday, October 28, 2007

Amazing Race returns, college football's weekend and more crap from Dave Matthews Band

- So The Amazing Race is back next Sunday, Nov. 4, and I for one am pumped. Yes, the show does tend to cast according to some pre-set, scripted character types, just like The Real World, but it’s still the best reality series around, which is somewhat like being the tallest midget or the best karaoke singer on American Karaoke, i.e. there’s not much competition. Among the personality types we’ll see on display are the estranged parent and child looking to mend their relationship through the race (this time filled by an Asian-American father and daughter), a homosexual team (a pair of lesbian ministers), a pair of sarcastic a-holes who think they’re the smartest, dirtiest, savviest team to ever run the race (a pair of waiters whose male half sounds like he just down five tanks of helium), one or more angry young couples wherein the girl wants the guy to make a commitment and he refuses or the pair claims to be deciding whether to get married or call it quits (these are the teams that spend two-thirds of every episode yelling at each other at the top of their lungs, then hug at the end of each leg of the race and tell each other how much they love one another), and two hot (or in this case, were hot ten years ago) chicks who think they’re going to win using their looks. Yes, it’s poised to be another great season for the show, taking us to the far corners of the earth to experience things we might never see otherwise and for that reason alone, it’s worth watching and I’ll be tuning in Sunday night at 8 p.m.

- College football keeps on bringing the hits, and for one weekend at least, those hits didn’t take out the teams at the top of the BCS poll. Kansas, currently eighth in the poll but moving upward with each win and measure of respect earned, ground out a 19-11 win at Texas A&M, loading yet another bullet into the gun of those (i.e. everyone remotely associated with the A&M program) readying to fire coach Dennis Franchione once yet another disappointing season for the Aggies ends. Another unbeaten, besides Kansas, is Arizona State, which sent floundering Cal to its third straight loss. The Sun Devils fell behind 10-0 early but rallied for a 34-24 win. I honestly think Cal is taking this curse of the No. 2 team a bit far, because every team that has reached that spot in the past four weeks has lost, but Cal losing three straight is taking things to a new low. Speaking of promising seasons gone awry, the Washington Huskies started strong and had Jake Locker, the young quarterback that everyone was drooling over, then reality set in. A loss to #1 Ohio State started a six-game losing streak that continued with a 48-41 home loss to lowly Arizona Saturday. Meanwhile, the best of the one-loss team’s might be in Cal and Washington’s conference – the University of Oregon. Led by QB Dennis Dixon (similar to Vince Young except Dixon can throw worth a crap), the Ducks have lost only to Cal and now are posting ridiculous point totals every single week. Sorry LSU fans, but right now the Ducks look to be flying a whole lot higher than your Tigers. Oh, and thanks to all of the “experts” out there who keep trying to prop up Big Ten also-rans as “real tests” for Ohio State, ignoring the fact that these so-called challengers have built decent records playing a slate of cupcake games and electing to try to hype up games that are clearly not going to be close. Penn State is the latest in this mold, losing 37-17 at home to OSU, following in the footsteps of Purdue and Michigan State. Want to know OSU’s only real tests? Michigan in the last game of the regular season, then their bowl opponent. The list ends there. Elsewhere in the Big Ten, I know it’s not common practice to fire first-year head coaches, but I might make an exception for the University of Minnesota’s Tim Brewster. His team got out to a 10-0 lead at Michigan but then came from ahead to lose 34-10, barely bothering to show up for the final three quarters and dropping to 1-8 on the season, 0-5 in conference play. I know it’ the University of Minnesota, not a real football powerhouse, but you need to do better than losing every conference game no matter what, and UM is on its way to doing just that. And to the University of Georgia and University of Florida, nice act in your game, won 42-30 by UGA but marred by excessive celebration penalties on seemingly every score or big play the entire first quarter. Georgia went to far as to have their entire team run onto the field to celebrate their first TD, which they knew would be a penalty but did because coach Mark Richt actually threatened to give them extra running in practice if they didn’t get a penalty. Florida wasn’t much better, celebrating every big play like they’d just won the lottery. Both of you do realize you’ve lost three games and have no hope of even sniffing the national title game, right? Still, you’re doing better than Nebraska coach Bill Callahan, who looked lost, scared and confused on the sidelines as his team blew a 17-3 fourth-quarter lead at Texas, losing 28-25 and looking very much like a team that has given up on its coach and its season. Recruits who have committed to Nebraska are now withdrawing their commitments and going elsewhere, and I can’t say I blame them looking at this mess. Speaking of messes and spectacles….I know this isn’t big-time football, but how’s about a defensive stop in your game, Weber State and Portland State. One of you should not be defeating the other 73-68, and Weber State did Saturday, not unless the game is played on the hardwood with backboards, rims and nets. Lastly, the next to follow in Cal’s footsteps as former No. 2 teams who can’t stop losing, South Florida has now lost two in a row since making it to the second spot, dropping a 22-15 decision to Connecticut. Beware of falling USF Bulls….

- Georgia is going to be a dirtier, smellier place than usual for the next few weeks. Governor Sonny Perdue has instituted new water conservation laws to help combat the state’s water shortage as it faces its worst drought in decades. The measures ban the washing of state vehicles and limits inmates at state prisons to one quick shower per day. On a side note, can I ask where these inmates are supposed to find time to shiv one another with limited, reduced shower time? Everyone knows the shower is the best place to shiv someone, and now you’re hurrying these guys in and out so they don’t have time to take care of this kind of thing. And no, rural Georgia residents, these new rules don’t absolve you of having to shower or bathe every day – just kidding. I don’t mean any disrespect to my friends in Georgia, you all know I love you. Under Perdue’s orders, other banned activities include the power washing of state buildings and no new landscaping allowed on properties, which will be hard to enforce if only because you can’t patrol every inch of the state making sure that no one does any new landscaping. But perhaps it’s time for everyone in the state to brush up on their rain dancing technique, because at this point anything’s worth a try to get some rain…..

- For once, there’s a bureaucratic, official report I actually want to read, mainly because there’s no freaking way that the conclusions reached by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement in this particular investigation are right. The agency investigated the use of Tasers on University of Florida student Andrew Meyer two months ago when Meyer got belligerent and refused to stop asking questions during a speech/Q&A session on the UF campus. All Meyer did was ask questions, yet instead of forcibly removing him from the microphone and escorting him out of the venue, security officers decided that even though five or six of them were pinning Meyer to the ground, they needed to break out their Tasers. Now, in an incredibly self-serving move, the state’s law enforcement department backs up its own? No way. Look, Meyer may be a goofball, he may be known for posting video clips of pranks he does on YouTube, but being verbally belligerent and annoying doesn’t necessitate the use of your Taser. Meyer is an average-sized guy, not some 6’8, 325 lb. behemoth on speed. He only refused to stop asking Kerry questions, he didn’t refuse to stop firing live rounds at him from his AK-47, so the cops should have kept their Tasers holstered.

- Seeing as it often gets above 90 degrees in Miami with insane 100 percent humidity, I’m seriously considering chalking this one up to the heat getting to a person and causing their brain to temporarily short circuit. How else do you explain Jeffrey Weinsier, a TV reporter for Miami’s ABC affiliate WPLG-TV, getting arrested for walking onto the grounds of Miami Central High School with a loaded gun despite repeated warnings from school officials and security not to do so? Weinsier was investigating a story on school violence (ironic, I know), but began carrying a gun several months ago after he began receiving threats because of a story he did on the unsanitary conditions at many local restaurants. Of all the things wrong with Weinsier’s decision making on this one, a few points come to mind. One, when you carry a loaded gun with you onto school property, you’re not investigating school violence, you’re creating it. Two, you’re telling me you cant possibly do your story without your 9mm on your hip? You’re that scared that you believe people are lying in wait for you where, in the restroom or the locker room for gym class, ready to attack you? If you’re looking to jump start your career, this is the wrong way to go about it. Just disarm yourself, leave the gun in the car and go inside to do your report. Every local affiliate has a tool like Jeffrey Weinsier – pushy, instigating, confrontational and abrasive investigative reporter looking to make waves and get under people’s skin to get a rise. Fortunately, most of them, with this exception, are smart enough not to walk into a school packin’ heat.

- You call this a prize? Are you sure that the cadets at the U.S. Military Academy (Army) won this contest, because their alleged reward is a free concert from those excrement-dumping (and excrement -sounding) losers in the Dave Matthews Band. To me, that sounds more like a punishment than a prize. The cadets at the academy allegedly won the contest by sending the best electronic invitations to contest sponsor AT&T and as a result will receive two free shows in November by Dave Matthews Band. They beat out entrants from more than 100 other colleges and universities, possibly because they have guns and weapons and threatened to invade and destroy anyone who beat them out – just kidding, cadets. “Congratulations! We’ll see you in November!” Dave Matthews himself excitedly declared to the cadets on a video message played in the mess hall at West Point. Personally if I’m a cadet, I’m either looking to visit home that weekend, find some other excuse to be off campus or buying the best ear plugs known to man, because the less DMB music you have to hear in your lifetime, the better off you are.

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