- The League of Dictatorial/Despotic States’ latest club
meeting has wrapped up and boy, what a gathering it was. Venezuela, which has
an official government hit squad to take down opponents of dictator Nicolas
Maduro, received a nice boost of approval from Russia as the two nations’
foreign ministers met to tell one another how great they were at oppressing
dissidents and stifling those who demand fair governance. Russian Foreign
Minister Serguéi Lavrov told his Venevuelan counterpart, Delcy Rodriguez, how
much he agreed with her government’s opposition to foreign interference in a
country’s internal affairs, expressed Russia’s strong support for Maduro's
socialist/despotic rule and reaffirmed a willingness to expand the existing
bilateral cooperation between the two nations. "Foreign pressure is
unacceptable," Lavrov said. "It is very important to avoid
artificially-fueled tensions and protests which violate Venezuela’s laws and
may lead to dangerous consequences for both Venezuela and its neighboring
countries.” Rodriguez chimed in with her very own comedy routine, claiming that
Maduro is open to dialogue in an effort to heal the deeply divided country. In
response, Lavrov said more nice things about how swell Venezuela is. “We
reaffirm our solidarity with the friendly people of this country [and] our strong
support for the government's course of action to prevent a destabilizing
situation and establish a national dialogue," Lavrov said. Both ministers
praised last year’s agreement between OPEC and non-OPEC, including Russia, to
limit the extraction of oil to stabilize prices, agreeing that the deal should
help stabilize the market situation. As their time together neared an end, the
duo waxed poetic about the ongoing cooperation between their countries in
various fields, including nuclear medicine, agriculture and the production of
vaccines and drugs in Venezuela. It was a vomit-inducing display of d-baggery
on an international level, so hopefully everyone had fun………
- Speaking of d-bags people love to hate on, Bush. Yes, the
pretty boy, poseur rockers fronted by the ultimate pretty boy/poseur, lead
singer Gavin Rossdale, are back. The much-maligned rockers have officially
announced their musical comeback, plucking Rossdale from the world of reality
karaoke show judges with a new album and headline show in London set for next
month. It’s the place they formed in 1992 and as recently as 2010, they were
reforming following an eight-year absence. Since 2010, they’ve produced two new
albums, with the most recent being 2014’s ‘Man On The Run.’ The official
confirmation of Bush’s return came with the revelation of the name for the band’s
seventh album, ‘Black and White Rainbows,’ which will be released on March 10.
The album’s first single, “Mad Love,” was released last week along with the
announcement of the London headline show to coincide with the release of the
album in a few weeks. The band are set to play at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire
in the capital on March 14, fulfilling Rossdale’s previously stated dream that
being a judge on the latest season of the United Kingdom’s edition of “The
Voice” would help revive both his and his band’s respective flagging careers. Yes,
because if whoring your musical credibility out by judging a bunch of aspiring
karaoke-ers can't get you back on track, than nothing can…….
- Florida, keep on Florida-ing. We’re all counting on you
and our lives are more entertaining because of you being so consistently true
to yourself. The latest instance of this life-affirming (and life-threatening)
trend came in Winter Garden, where a man who was victimized by a car thief
decided that he’d rather strafe his own ride with gunfire than allow someone to
get away with the stolen vehicle. According to Winter Garden Police, who closed
Vineland Road at West Colonial Drive for several hours during rush hour, an
unidentified victim opened fire on a suspected car thief who jacked his truck
and tried to escape, only to be truck-blocked and forced to flee on foot.
Police said the man woke up to see his white truck being stolen and since he apparently
has really reliable and readily available friends, he was able to borrow a
friend’s truck and used it to pursue his own stolen whip. He soon spotted his
stolen truck and showing no regard for the well-being of his friend’s vehicle,
he pulled in front of the man driving his stolen rig and blocked the street. At
that point, the thief rammed the borrowed truck and amazingly, the situation
was about to get even more dangerous. The car theft victim was packing heat and
saying he feared for his life when he was rammed, he pulled out his piece and
opened fire on his own vehicle, shooting the driver’s door several times and
forcing the thief out of the vehicle, but only after backing up over a water
main at the McDonald's on the corner of West Colonial Drive and Daniels Road,
breaking the water main. The thief then fled on foot, leaving the truck’s own
with a bullet-riddled ride, a damaged truck belonging to his buddy and plenty
of questions to answer from police………
- There are few things Major League Baseball is in more of a
hurry to accomplish than speeding up its lumbering, dawdling pace of play. MLB
knows that it’s getting its ass kicked by faster, more action-packed sports
(the NBA, NFL, UFC, old ladies across the street, paint drying, etc.) and wants
to do something to help revive interest before baseball goes the way of
headphone jacks on new iPhones. For that reason, commissioner Rob Manfred and
his crew are tackling what he commonly refers to as "pace of action” by
weighing initiatives to a) raise the strike zone and b) allow teams to walk
opposing batters without having to throw four intentionally errant pitches. MLB
has made formal proposals to the players' union to implement both changes.
While neither can be implemented without approval of the Major League Baseball
Players Association, the union is now speaking to players to weigh their
feelings on the changes and in order to have either in place by the start of
the season, an agreement would have to be struck soon. Under the strike zone
proposal, the zone would be pulled up at its lower border to the top of the
hitter's knees. Right now, the bottom of the zone is defined as "the
hollow beneath the kneecap,” but analytics show that umpires have been
increasingly calling strikes on so many pitches below the knees that, if
umpires enforce the redefined strike zone, it would effectively raise the zone
by an estimated 2 inches. Channeling baseball’s inner slow-pitch, rec-league
softball self and allowing teams to intentionally walk batters by just telling
the umpire they want to walk the batter and having him go directly to first
base is the second proposed change and it would eliminate about a minute of
dead time per walk. Add it all up and the stated goal is to make games shorter
so the next generation of fans - if there is one - doesn’t have to pay
attention to baseball quite as long………
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