Thursday, July 14, 2016

Third Reich turtles, Pixies honor their past and minor league baseball rage


- When someone points a gun in your face….just walk away? If you ask New Zealand deli owner and all-around badass Said Ahmed, that’s precisely what you do. Ahmed had a bold response when one would-be robber walked in with bad intentions and pulled a gun as Ahmed was preparing a large order of chicken souvlaki for takeout. Rather than cower in fear or simply hand the robber all of the cash in the register, Ahmed finished the order and handed it to the customer who was actually paying instead of stealing before maintaining his composure by walking away. The paying customer meekly took his order and walked out, but so did Ahmed. “The man wanted to frighten me and I decided he couldn’t do that,” Ahmed said. “I told myself, ‘If he shoots me, at least my body will be further away and the gunshot won’t be as serious as shooting me at close range in my heart or head.” Surveillance video shows Ahmed handing the customer the order, turning around and walking into the kitchen to call police. Amazingly, the armed suspect simply watched him go and rather than pursue in an effort to keep his attempted criminal enterprise, he simply walked out of the store empty-handed. It was an inspiring moment by Ahmed, who is originally from Egypt and has a degree in agricultural engineering and has lived in Christchurch for 20 years. After this, here’s hoping all residents of his neighborhood patronize his business in support of a true local badass………


- A disappointing 2016 season just took another step in the wrong direction for outfielder Anthony Gose, who was simultaneously reinstated and demoted by the Detroit Tigers after he was suspended for an altercation with Triple-A manager Lloyd McClendon over the weekend. "After collectively evaluating the situation in Toledo, we spoke with Anthony and emphasized our organization's expectations of him," Tigers general manager Al Avila said in a statement. "Most importantly, Anthony's transfer to Erie is a move to give him a fresh start to his overall performance as he works his way back to Detroit." Right, because getting sent down to Double-A is all about a fresh start. The Tigers clearly didn’t have much of a choice after Gose and McClendon got into a heated argument in the dugout during the first game of a doubleheader for the Toledo Mud Hens on account of McClendon removing Gose from the lineup in the third inning and replacing him with pinch hitter Jeff McVaney. In response, Gose, who began the season as the Tigers' starting center fielder, did not show up at the ballpark for Sunday's game after not being in the lineup for the second game Saturday. His personal items were soon gone from his locker and just like that, a guy who made the majors out of spring training and earned the starting job in center heads to Double-A with a low batting average and even lower perception of his game and character in his organization……….


- Dear racist/bigoted/hatemongering idiot roaming St. Petersburg, Florida with a jar of White-Out and a lame sense of humor: Your joke is neither appreciated nor still in existence. Whoever this a-hole is, he or she thought it was hilarious to seek out the slowest and least able to defend themselves among us and humiliate them by emblazoning upon them a symbol representing hate and one of the ugliest eras in the history of humanity. The story came to light when photos surfaced on Facebook showing a tortoise at Sawgrass Lake Park with swastikas painted on its shell. Some time in the past few weeks, the offending party with corrective fluid and a sub-zero IQ painted three swastikas on its shell, leaving the turtle to lumber around the park in shame until someone found it, snapped pictures and shed light on the issue. Staff at the park were able to track down the turtle and clean off its shell so it didn’t bear the ugly marks of the Third Reich and Holocaust. The tortoise also appeared to have a crack in its shell, but officials believe the injury is old and now, this poor animal can bear that crack with pride, knowing that there aren’t any symbols of genocide painted on it. Sadly, it’s unlikely the person who defaced the turtle’s shell will ever be found, but all office supply stores in the greater St. Petersburg area are advised to be on the lookout for a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal slinking his or her way through their aisles in the near future………


- Kim Deal may be gone, but she is not forgotten. The iconic bassist left the Pixies in 2013, shortly before they recorded their comeback album 'Indie Cindy,' taking her bass and vocals with her after splitting with husband and bandmate Thurston Moore. In the three years since her departure, the band has persisted even though it has gone through more bassists in that time than it went through in the previous three decades. Deal was initially replaced in the group by Kim Shattuck, but that arrangement didn’t last long. Shortly after Shattuck walked in the door, the idea of trading one Kim for another fell through and it was announced that Zwan member Paz Lenchantin would fill in on a permanent basis. Now, with the band's new album 'Head Carrier' coming in September, frontman Frank Black says that the Pixies are going to offer up a tip of the cap to their former leading lady in the form of a song. According to Black, the record includes a track penned as a "thank-you letter" to Deal, with the lyrics sung by Lenchantin. In an interesting twist, the song is reportedly called 'All I Think About Now,’ which suggests that the band still thinks about Deal and how much she meant to them over the course of countless hit singles, albums, tours and years together. Pixies have never sounded the same since Deal left and it’s dubious whether this new album can actually change any of that, but at least for a moment, maybe one of the greatest bands in the history of indie rock can revive a flare of its past glory and make fans remember a time when they were legit and legendary………

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