- Being found mentally competent would normally be a
(relatively) positive development. For former Dallas Cowboys running back
Joseph Randle, not so much. Randle, who has been arrested on charges of
shoplifting cologne and underwear from the Dillard's at Stonebriar Mall in
Dallas, been accused of trying to pay a police officer $100 for a massage after
another arrested and felon-ized his way out of football and into a long life
behind bars, hit a new legal low in Kansas this week, where he was found
competent enough to be tried in his February beer pong-based assault case. Yes,
this guy went from evading would-be tacklers to trying to take down frat bros
who called isolation on the middle cup in the back row and proceeded to sink
the shot and rip his dignity with it. As a result, he was arrested Feb. 21
after police said he struck three people with his car after getting into an
argument at a housewarming party in southeast Wichita. It was part of an
amazing stretch in which he was arrested six times in 18 months and yet
somehow, a beer pong argument leading to weaponizing your vehicle is clearly
rock bottom. Even when you mix in Randle racking up a new charge stemming from
allegations of a threat he made May 14 while at the Sedgwick County Jail
awaiting dates on two other felony cases, it’s the beer pong battle that shows
how far he’s fallen and why Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said back in November
that the team was concerned about Randle's mental stability even while he was
still with the team……….
- In Romania, the battle over what stocks supermarket
shelves has gone presidential. Yes, things have gotten serious enough that Romania's
president has signed into law legislation obliging supermarkets to sell at
least 51 percent locally-produced meat, fruit, eggs and vegetables. The hero to
the farming sector is President Klaus Iohannis, who enacted the law, approved
by Parliament in June, in a move to prop up Romanian produce. Yes, the measure
only applies to food retail outlets with an annual turnover greater than 2
million euros ($2.2 million), but let’s not focus on the fact that smaller
stores can still skirt the law and laser in on the fact that retailers
violating the law can be fined 100,000 to 150,000 lei ($24,600 to $36,800) and
can be shut down for repeated violations. Yes, shut down if they keep thumbing
their nose at the law of the land. Not surprisingly, the move has been
criticized by a group that sounds like the fictional conglomerate of villainy
that tries to ruin the day in every Disney Pixar movie before failing miserably
and realizing the error of their ways, the Association of Big Retailers, who
claim will lead to price hikes and thousands of suppliers going out of
business. That sounds more like a threat than an argument, but the law can be
contested at the Constitutional Court, so this fight may not be over just
yet……..
- Meat Loaf will do anything for health, but he won’t put
down the fudgesicles and pound cake - or will he? Yes, the cherubic pop singer
has committed to a diet and fitness regime following his collapse on stage
during a gig in Canada last month. The singer - real name Marvin Lee Aday - was
playing a concert in Edmonton, Alberta when he went down hard, forcing him to
cancel shows in Moose Jaw and Calgary as he dealt with the - pun intended -
fallout. Footage of him dropping to the floor during a performance of 'I Would
Do Anything For Love’ has gone viral and yet, the Loaf insists he’s on the
comeback trail. "I’m okay. Weak. I’ve gotta go to physical therapy. I had
back surgery and knee surgery within the last two years, and the knee surgery
failed, so I haven’t been able to work out on tour," he said. However, Mr.
Loaf said he’s lost nearly 20 pounds and he plans to shed 15 more before he
reaches the United Kingdom leg of his hour. "So we’re trying to watch out
for my health and make it easier onstage,” he added. Looking back, he admitted
that he was feeling unwell before the gig in Canada and had been drinking
Pedialytes, typically given to ill children, before shows in order to get on
stage. That didn’t keep him from crashing and burning. He felt dizzy, realized
he was about to faint and tried to go down on his own, only to fall hard and
stay napping it out until he reached the hospital………
- Wait….so there are standards for what you can do when a
drunk driver crashes into your front yard? According to police in Vacaville,
California, there are and a homeowner who watched a liquored-up motorist smash
across his property line crossed the line in responding to the vehicular
assault on his lawn. Around 5 p.m., officers responded to a report of a traffic
accident in the 500 block of Bass Drive and when they got there, they saw a
truck that had crashed into the front yard of a home. They also chatted with
some witnesses who told them that the driver of the truck had just walked into
a nearby residence. When they tracked the driver down, he informed them that he
had just been beaten with a baseball bat and through some legit police work,
the officers determined that after the crash, the offended homeowner then went
outside to confront the driver and assaulted him with said bat. At that point,
the driver fled the scene on foot and was trying to get to safety when the cops
tracked him down. His day got worse when he was taken to a hospital for
treatment and later arrested on suspicion of driving while under the influence
of alcohol, but the homeowner had to be held accountable for his attempted Mike
Trout-ing of the driver and was summarily arrested on suspicion of assault with
a deadly weapon. All in all, it was a dizzying blend of booze, rage, poor
baseball skills and neighbors who actually delivered a reasonably accurate
version of events when police requested their help in determining what happened.
Sadly, even when a lush has a beer or six too many and decimates your
decorative lawn sphere before turfing your petunias and daisies, you cannot
Louisville Slugger their ass into submission. Thanks for nothing, American
legal system with all your rules and standards. You’ve failed us all once again……..
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