Monday, June 20, 2016

A Parrot v. Dre and 50 CENT, Chanel v. a mugger and Olympians v. Zika fears


- This never ends well. When a government at any level decides that it’s going to hold off on paying its police or military, the results are invariably bad. Either the brave men and women who fill those positions decide that they don’t like risking their lives for nothing or someone on the wrong side of the law sees it as a chance to buy the law enforcement or military’s favor at an opportune time, but pulling the plug on the direct deposits to soldiers and cops definitely creates issues. Take that under advisement, Zimbabwe's cash-strapped government, in light of your announcement that you will delay paying salaries to the military and police by up to two weeks. Not only that, other workers on the state payroll will only receive their salaries next month. All of this came from the country’s finance ministry, which issued a notice dated June 16 saying the military will be paid on June 27 and the police three days later. Workers in other departments will be asked to wait even longer, supposedly not receiving their June salaries until mid-July. In good months, the military is usually the first to get paid around mid-month. As one of the main pillars of dictator/President Robert Mugabe's rule, that makes sense. However, Zimbabwe is struggling with severely depleted revenues and has been delaying pay to the military and other workers for about a year. This is the longest delay to date and even the most optimistic person can see that this is trending in a very bad direction for everyone involved in this mess……….


- This is a fun twist on the Olympic tradition of athletes trying to jam as much sex with their fellow elite athletes and other local hotties as possible into the two-plus weeks of the Games. Normally, the sex-related story leading up to the Olympics is how many condoms organizers will pour into the Athletes Village in order to keep the world’s best athletes from becoming its most proficient procreators, but this year the Zika virus is flipping the script. Thanks to the virus, which leads to various birth defects and other health issues related especially to pregnant women, more and more male Olympians are taking extra precuations before heading to Brazil for the Games. One of the first was British Olympic long jump champion Greg Rutherford, whose partner said last week that the could would freeze a sample of his sperm because of fears of Zika. Now, Spain's Pau Gasol says he will consider freezing a sperm sample because of concerns over Zika should he suit up for his nation  in the Rio de Janeiro Olympics. The Chicago Bulls center says "freezing sperm is one of the measures I have to consider,” although he has yet to commit to playing for Spain. Gasol has led Spain to two consecutive silver medals after losing to the United States in the 2008 and 2012 finals and Spain is predicted to be one of the Americans’ top rivals again this year, but Gasol clearly doesn’t want to put the pursuit of a gold medal ahead of his possible future family and as the Games near, this trend continues to pick up speed. Now if only there was a way to protect against Brazil’s toxic, super-bacteria-infested water for those participating in or attending the Olympics……….


- Putting on a little too much perfume never smelled so good. A Mddletown, Ohio woman found herself in a harrowing position late last week when she left her home early in the afternoon and had an attacker grab her by the arm and demand that she drive him where he wanted to go.  "When I came out somebody grabbed my left arm and put their hand around my mouth," Joyce Kenney said. "(He) grabbed my keys out of my door and told me to get in the car and drive." According to a police report,  the suspect forced Kenney into her car and sat in the passenger seat as she began to drive north on South Breiel Boulevard until she made it to the intersection of Breiel and Central. "I just begged him, 'please don't hurt or kill me,' and he wouldn't respond," Kenney said. "He said, 'just drive,' that's all he said." Trying to keep her wits about her, Kenney told police that she noticed her perfume in the driver's seat door and quickly grabbed the bottle, praying the suspect in the face. It was the only weapon she had and she used it to Chanel the hell out of the suspects eyes, casuing the man to clutch at his face and temporarily blinding him as she kicked him out of the car. Kenney, who has an illness that affects her leg, was surprised that she was able to boot the suspect out of the vehicle and told police that the man fled north on Breiel before going out of sight. Because the suspect wore a ski mask, all Kenney knows is that he was 5-foot-8 with a thin build and either a goatee or patch of hair on his chin, clad in a jean jacket and gray jeans. Maybe Christian Dior can use this story for its next perfume commercial rather than some bizarre, nonsensical black-and-white nonsense featuring that weirdo Johnny Depp babbling on about searching for something he can’t see……….


- It appears that producer Brandon Parrott is fighting well out of his weight class, but he’s forging ahead in his lawsuit against rap heavyweights Dr. Dre and 50 Cent over the beat used on the track “P.I.M.P.” Parrot is suing 13 years after the fact over the track, which features on 50 Cent's 2003 album “Get Rich Or Die Tryin,” because he claims it uses his beat without crediting him for it. Parrot alleges that he sent 10 different samples to Aftermath Entertainment in 2001, including a track called “BAMBA.” That same sample was allegedly used two years later as part of “P.I.M.P.,” but he says that he was told in 2003 that the use of his track was a mistake. Where he’s going to have a tough time justifying his squawking in the case is the point where he signed a settlement based on that information, only to claim more than a decade later that he believes Aftermath, Dre and 50 Cent took advantage of him. Maybe he’s not doing so well financially these days and someone convinced him that it was worth trying to reopen this case and squeeze more money of out it, because he’s now seeking compensation for the use of his beat. At present, D12's Denaun Porter is the only producer credited with working on 'P.I.M.P.' Dre, meanwhile, is reported to be working on a large quantity of new music and one would presume not giving a damn about a lawsuit filed by some dude named Brandon Parrot. Maybe you want to do a better job of picking your legal representation in important situations such as this, B. Parrot, so you don’t have to try to rip up a settlement you signed 13 years after the fact in what appears to be nothing more than a desperate cash grab……..

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