Samuel L. Jackson's Star Wars envy, restaurant receipt racism and Swiss nudist waterpark drone drama

- If you’re going to show up at a public waterpark, take off your clothes and let it all hang out when you hurtle down the big water slide, there are certain risks you run. Chlorinated water in places chlorinated water shouldn’t be, chafing from hard plastic slides in unwelcome regions of your body….and apparently, some perv with a drone and too much free time flying their unmanned aerial craft above the park and possibly capturing footage of you floating down the lazy river in all your glory. Panicked nudists at the Bernaqua waterpark in Bern, Switzerland are worried that they may have been exposed after they spotted a drone hovering above a sauna area more than once over the past few days. “A customer told a lifeguard, who warned the security guards,” said Andrea Bauer, a spokeswoman for the company that owns the waterpark. “The people who visit that area are naked or wearing few clothes. Protecting their privacy is therefore all the more important.” The park has women’s-only and mixed sauna zones, both of which are nudist, and clearly no one in either area would want anyone filming them at the park, especially without their knowledge. At this point, it’s unclear whether the drone has a camera attached, but what is clear is that flying a drone over a crowd is illegal in Switzerland. Figuring out who the drone belongs to is a difficult proposition, but hopefully there was no camera involved and whoever the drone belongs to realizes the sh*t storm they’ve created and finds a better use of their time………

- Say hello to Idaho State and Eastern Michigan, third-tier NCAA bowl games, and goodbye to powerhouse programs in down years like Michigan, Florida and Tennessee. In a crushing blow for bowl games that shouldn’t exist but do because #cashgrab, the NCAA's Division I Council implemented a new rule this week mandating that all bowl-eligible teams with 6-6 records must be chosen for a bowl game before any teams with a 5-7 record can be considered. The council made its move following a season in which only 77 teams were eligible for the 80 bowl slots, leaving three 5-7 teams to be granted waivers to play in bowl games because of their APR scores. The fact that all of them -- Nebraska, Minnesota and San Jose State -- won is irrelevant because even with the win, THEY STILL FINISHED BELOW .500. Going forward, only after all bowl-eligible teams are selected can teams with 5-7 records be considered, and their eligibility will again be determined by the highest, most-recent multiyear APR scores. "It's impossible to project how many eligible bowl teams we will have," Big 12 conference commissioner and chair of the football oversight committee Bob Bowlsby said in a statement. "We think we have a selection process in the postseason that makes sense and is fair to the schools and the bowls." Bowlsby admitted that raising the bowl-eligibility standard to 7-5 was not seriously considered in part because it would have "put a lot of bowls out of business,” and at the end of the day, the NCAA and its bowl partners are all about business above all else. Having too many bowl games isn't a travesty and is more of a #firstworldproblem, but getting rid of a few (and their regional trucking company or local wing joint sponsors) would have been perfectly fine………

- It’s no longer a convenient joke or an amusing story for news anchors to reference in the closing minute of their half-hour broadcast as they prepare to sign off for the night. On literally a weekly basis, a customer of a restaurant of some kind is recoiling in horror and demanding justice because an employee uses a derogatory term to label them on a bill or order form of some kind. Last week, it was a Rhode Island bar patron who was dubbed “Fatty” by his server, who was summarily fired by the bar’s owner - and his father - once the receipt went viral on social media. Now, the trend is making an appearance in Kentucky, where a Louisville Papa John's employee is out of a job after allegedly writing a racist name on a customer's pizza order. The issue was actually brought to light by Laura Cheifetz, who took to social media after her coworker’s friend, who is Asian-American, ordered a pizza that was delivered to her with the words “Ching Ching” on the label. Cheifetz tweeted the picture to Papa John's and after what had to be plenty of cursing and quick damage-control planning at corporate headquarters, the company used its official Twitter feed to respond to Cheifetz and assure everyone that it had taken appropriate action against the minimum wage earner who used the offensive word on the receipt. “This action is inexcusable and doesn't reflect our company values. This employee is no longer a member of the PJ's team,” the company wrote in a tweet. The ideal result would be employees of eateries across the United States seeing all of this and acting with a modicum of professionalism, but that clearly is not going to happen……….

- After seeing J.J. Abrams’ (mostly) well-received take on the Star Wars franchise and knowing that there are plenty more movies in the series - and spin-offs - in the works, it appears that a face of Star Wars’ past is looking on and thinking he wants a piece of that lucrative action. Samuel L. Jackson believes his Star Wars character Mace Windu could make a comeback even though it definitely appeared that Windu was killed off in the über-forgettable “Revenge Of The Sith.” In that movie, Jedi leader Windu had his arm severed by Anakin Skywalker before being killed by Darth Sidious as he’s pushed over a ledge and suffers a long, apparently fatal fall. Despite that strongly implied death, Jackson sounds like a man who wants everyone to forget that he appeared in the three films of the prequel trilogy - i.e. the three worst of the seven existing films in the franchise - and accept that he could come back into the Star Wars universe just like several other characters who returned in “The Force Awakens.” Jackson is adamant that his character lives on somewhere in the galaxy far, far away. “Of course he’s still alive. Jedi can fall from amazing distances, and there’s a long history of one-handed Jedi. So why not?” Jackson said. “I told him (George Lucas) my thoughts and George was ‘I’m OK with that. You can be alive.’” Of course, Lucas has no involvement with Star Wars after selling the saga’s rights to Disney, so neither his nor Jackson’s beliefs on Windu’s fate are of much consequence at this point to those making the decisions on where the profitable franchise goes from here………

Nike misses its chance, a church gets it right and Jack Bauer will be back

- What use is it to have a position of authority in an impoverished nation if you can't use said position to illegally profit off one of that nation’s few natural resources? Zimbabwe's wildlife management authority is led by a man who understands that truth, which is coincidentally why director-general Edson Chidziya will be on leave for the next two months. Spokeswoman Caroline Washaya-Moyo confirmed that the agency has sent its director-general on leave to allow for investigations into more than 485 pounds of missing rhino horns. Rhino horns and elephant tusks are precious commodities in such nations, so anyone who poaches them runs afoul of the law and when a quarter of a ton of rhino horns suddenly goes missing, the authorities tend to expect answers. "The move has been taken to allow for an audit. This follows anomalies in the rhino horn stockpiles amounting to 228 kilograms," Washaya-Moyosaid in a statement. All of the drama comes about as Zimbabwe is lobbying to be allowed to sell its growing stockpile of rhino and elephant horns at the upcoming Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species conference scheduled for September. Yes, that conference really exists and yes, Zimbabwe claims that the CITES trade ban on its ivory is affecting conservation efforts and promoting poaching.  Poaching will still go on regardless, of course, but you really can't have the guy who heads up your agency responsible for protecting wildlife (allegedly) involved with a whopping 485 pounds of missing rhino horns……..

- As always, Jack Bauer comes through under pressure. For months, word has been that Keifer Sutherland would not be involved with the reboot of iconic spy drama “24,” which producer Howard Gordon is helming, because Sutherland is simply ready to move on to the next phase in his career. He’s starring in a new TV series, “Designated Survivor,” and recently went musical, releasing a folk album. Yet all along, it seemed inevitable that Jack Bauer would strap on his weapons, beat the holy hell out of a few terrorists and ride again to save the day for the world. And so it is that Gordon has confirmed that Bauer will return at some point in “24: Legacy,” news that broke not long after Sutherland stopped short of saying that he would never reprise the role. “I've said that twice and have been wrong, so I won't say that again,” Sutherland said at the time. Like the original show, the revived version will center on a counter-terrorism unit and its day-long response to a different terrorist attack every season. “Our intention is definitely to bring some of the old people into this story," Gordon said. "Up to and including Kiefer, once this show gets its legs." A solid move, Howie. Let the newcomers establish themselves and once Dan Bucatinsky, Corey Hawkins and others get settled in, bring back Jack to show them how it’s done. Sutherland recently praised the new show’s “phenomenal script,” so you know he’s informed and involved with the project, and he dropped a juicy tidbit when he said that Bauer's still out there, so you never know what's going to happen." Damn straight, K., and no Russian gulag can hold him down………

- Too few churches do a good job of backing up what they claim to believe. It’s why a lot of people want nothing to do with religion, but a small church in southwestern Ohio seems to be doing a good job of loving people the way their faith says they should. The World Commissioned Church in Hamilton recently had an attempted break-in, but the suspect was unable to pry the large steel door open. Knowing that someone watned to steal from his place of worship, Pastor Kenneth Roark chose to look at the situation from an unusual point of view. “That kind of makes me mad, but right away you start thinking about why it’s happening,” Roark said. “A person that would break into any place, they must be desperate, they must be in a bad place and things must be going really bad for them.” His church, which meets in a building that used to be a Rite-Aid drugstore in the 1980s and was vacant for a few years before the church moved in back in 2006, has used the would-be robbery to send a message to its community. “What I want people to understand is, I want [the thief] to understand is, it isn’t just a building with stuff,” Roark added. “It’s a building with people that care about it.” To send the message that all are welcome at their weekly mass, church leaders decided to extend an invite to the suspect, who remains at large. Roark wrote up a note, addressed it to the thief and affixed it to the back door. The note said in part, “We love you and praying for you!” Although the thief didn’t take up the church on the offer to attend the 11 a.m. service on Sunday, Roark insisted that all would be forgiven if the thief came in and apologized. Credit for responding with love when many would seek justice, World Commissioned Church……..

- Good ideas, Nike, but you’re missing the one critical innovation that U.S. Olympians will truly need in Brazil this summer. Sure, a speed system for its track and field athletes who will compete at August's Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro is swell, but it misses out on addressing the true hazards that American athletes will face. The apparel and shoe maker rolled out three significant advances in technology that aren't typically part of a uniform unveil, all designed to give American athletes - in means approved by the International Olympic Committee - a boost on the track in Rio. There’s  adhesive tape with silicon-based spikes called AeroBlades that runners will be instructed to wear on various parts of their bodies to help cut wind resistance or aerodynamic drag, new sunglasses called the Nike Wing that are also meant to cut through the wind and a breathable, adhesive race bib called the AeroSwift Bib with a peel back that can be stuck directly onto the uniform. "We were tasked to combat the enemy of fast and deliver on the athlete's desire to look fast, feel fast and be fast," said Martin Lotti, Nike's vice president and creative director for categories and concepts. Nike used  a 3-D printer to build prototypes and testing hundreds of different shapes in a wind tunnel for the AeroBlades and for the glasses, it used a single piece of glass without hinges that typically let air through in order to allow only let red light through, which provides a calming effect to the runner. "We spent all this time developing aerodynamic elements to a uniform and then we would pin our bibs on with safety pins that were invented in 1849," Lotti said of the new aerodynamic bibs. That’s fine, but couldn’t Nike invest its time and research dollars into stylish, performance-enhancing biohazard suits so that aquatic athletes in Rio can compete in boating events and not have their health and lives endangered by the super bacteria lurking in the city’s waterways………

Harry Potter's lasting pull, naked Portland bike ride fun and NFLer-on-woman assault continues

- We all have that one friend we feel obligated to follow or be connected to on social media, but with whose posts and sharing we want nothing to do. The chronic over-sharer or the attention seeker usually receives only silent scorn, an unfollow or a choice obscenity muttered under the breath of their friends, but maybe a small, island nation in the Middle East is showing the way to deal with folks who abuse their social media accounts. Enter police in Bahrain, who say they have made a series of arrests over people "misusing social media" amid an intensifying crackdown on dissent in the tiny island kingdom. That might sound like blatant censorship, but the Interior Ministry is trying to spin its oppressive ways by claiming that those arrested were trying to "incite people or instigate people to abuse others." Unsurprisingly for a totalitarian regime. The government offered no further details on the number of people arrested, nor their names. Those names might become irrelevant if those people are never seen or heard from again and they are the latest victims in  the government's widening crackdown on opposition groups and dissent on a level not seen since the country’s  2011 Arab Spring protest. It’s part of an ongoing battle between the Sunni-led government and the Shiite population, including the government stripping citizenship from a prominent cleric, sparking an ongoing protest in front of the cleric's home. Not really the kind of happenings you want going on for a predominantly Shiite island off the coast of Saudi Arabia that’s home to the U.S. Navy's 5th Fleet……..

- Ladies of northeast Florida, let this be a lesson to you. If you’re out on the town and encounter Jacksonville Jaguars linebacker Dan Skuta, show him all the respect due to a marginal NFL player who had a whopping 1.5 sacks last season playing for one of the league’s most mediocre teams. If you don’t, you too may be the (alleged) victim of a heinous assault in which this marginal professional athlete pushes your face "with an open hand into a glass window" at around 2:30 a.m. Skuta was arrested and charged with misdemeanor first-degree battery for an incident in Orlando and according to the police, he had alcohol on his breath and bloodshot eyes. His accuser claims that she and her friend were standing on the sidewalk when Skuta approached her, "and began talking to her and flirting with her. Perhaps believing that he’s an NFL player and therefore irresistible to women, Skuta spit his game and asked for [the woman's] phone number, only to get rejected. At that point, police say, “a verbal altercation ensued. He became the latest to head directly into the teeth of commissioner Roger Goodell’s updated domestic violence policy, which calls for a six-game suspension without pay for a first offense and possible lifetime ban for a second offense. Skuta, who had 40 tackles and 1.5 sacks last season with the Jaguars, is demanding a jury trial on the charges, presumably because he believes that in the bat-sh*t insane state of Florida, it’s possible to find a group of 12 people naïve enough to believe whatever ridiculous explanation he comes up with……….

- Ah, Portland, you haven of wacky, modern-hippie-channeling granolas with a knack for doing weird sh*t that most cities would never think of but which is just another day in the Pacific Northwest for you. Another such occurrence came earlier this week when thousands of riders showed up to Mt. Scott Park in southeast Portland for the World Naked Bike Ride. Calling it the World Naked Bike Ride is probably a bit of s stretch in the same way calling the World Series the world championship of all of baseball is a problem, but the WNBR had dual purposes that are equal parts practical concern and lighthearted statement about the world’s disturbing dependence on fossil fuels. According to event organizers, the central focus of the event is making a bold statement on the vulnerability of cyclists while on the road with other vehicles. It’s a cause that every cyclist and runner can sympathize with as they try to stay alive as idiots with no sensitivity, poor driving skills or an outright obsession with their smartphone while behind the wheel whiz by at 40 or 50 miles per hour, mere feet or even inches away. The secondary point of the ride is to encourage people to ponder the world’s heavy dependence on fossil fuels and to make that point, a whole lot of people took a six-mile ride throughout the city as a large number of extremely unfortunate police officers were tasked with making sure the ride went off safely. Here’s hoping those officers received hazard pay for some of the sights they had to witness………

- Unlike most actors, especially those who rise to fame at a young age due to an iconic role, Daniel Radcliffe isn't running away screaming from the character that made him famous once his run ends. Radcliffe, who portrayed Harry Potter for eight films from 2001 to 2011, has since grown out of the boy wizard role and gone on to star in musicals and horrible magic-based action movies, but he says there’s a chance he would be open to playing Harry Potter again at some point in the future. He’s getting a break right now with actor Jamie Parker taking on the role for new stage show “Harry Potter And The Cursed Child,” but the idea of playing Potter at some point later in the character’s life sounds like it has some appeal to him. "It would depend on the script. The circumstances would have to be pretty extraordinary. But then I am sure Harrison Ford said that with Han Solo and look what happened there,” Radcliffe said. “So I am saying 'No' for now, but leaving room to backtrack in the future.” He did say that he’s unlikely to see the new play early in its because it could be a “weird” experience, with a lot of diehard Potter fans in the crowd who might pay more attention to him and his reaction to the play than what was happening on stage. “I would never want to do anything that would distract or take away from the show,” he said, ever the thespian. Oh, and the odds that a studio will try to revive the Harry Potter franchise about 50 times between now and the time Radcliffe retires from acting are as close to 100 percent as you can get without being sure because Hollywood never lets a cash cow die for any reason……….

Library cat gets evicted, Deadpool sequel news and who else isn't ready for the Olympics (everyone?)

- Is anyone - anyone at all, anywhere - ready for the Rio de Janeiro Olympics? Brazil sure as hell isn't ready for the Games, Rio itself and its toxic waters of death definitely aren't ready and now, it looks like the suspended anti-doping laboratory for the Rio de Janeiro Olympics may not be ready. According to a top International Olympic Committee official, it’s  unclear if the lab can be reopened before the Games start in under six weeks. Olympic Games executive director Christophe Dubi says "this is something that is doable, but there are a number of steps that need to be taken, which doesn’t sound like the sort of stance you want to be taking when the biggest sporting even in the world is just a few weeks away. Dubi noted that the suspension was for "wrongly interpreting" test results and producing "false positives” and it’s easy to see where that could be a problem. According to the World Anti-Doping Agency, the lab was shut down last Wednesday due to "non-conformity with the International Standard for Laboratories" and is prohibited from "carrying out all anti-doping analyses on urine and blood samples." If that doesn’t change in between now and the beginning of August, thousands of blood and urine tests will need to be shipped abroad. According to lab officials, they expect "operations to return to normal in July." Expectations aren't really being met with regularity by anyone associated with the Olympics these days, so counting on these folks to clutch up and deliver feels like a fool’s bet…….

- Spain hasn’t been able to rally behind any one direction or leader for some time now, with various regions from Catalonia to the Basque country in the north wishing to pull away and become independent, the national government looking to rip everyone’s midday siestas and the ongoing battle over the sport of bullfighting continuing to divide a nation. But maybe, just maybe, with Spaniards voting in an unprecedented repeat election that aims to break six months of political deadlock after a December ballot left the country without an elected government, the biggest nation on the Iberian Peninsula can finally decide on a definite direction. Or not. As most expected, the ballot failed to deliver enough votes for any one party to take power alone and as a result, Spain has been resigned to another period of protracted political negotiations — and, possibly, another ballot if there is no breakthrough in the near future. The mix is a combustible one, with the  conservative Popular Party enjoying the most support, but the new far-left alliance called Unidos Podemos (United We Can) also drawing a large number of angry, disenfranchised folks who feel like - stop if you’ve heard this one before, United Kingdom pro-Brexit voters and ass-hatted Donald Trump supporters in the United States - that the establishment has failed them and therefore, they need to seek a new voice in the government. Oh, and there are Spain’s ongoing economic woes to consider as well, if anyone actually takes power and can do something about those………..

- Ryan Reynolds, you have your wish. Earlier this year, Reynolds said, “I never want to play another comic book character again. Deadpool, I would like to play for the rest of my life – that'd be fun." The first Deadpool film was a huge commercial success earlier this year and according to producer Simon Kinberg, the second movie in the series will begin filming early next year. As the highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time, Deadpool basically assured itself of as many sequels as Marvel could manage, with Reynolds playing the iconic anti-hero in a film filled with bad language, graphic violence and nudity that pushed its rating as far as it could possibly go. Reynolds had a solid supporting cast that included Gina Carano, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein and T.J. Miller, although it’s unclear how many of them will be back for the sequel. “The guys, [screenwriters Paul] Wernick and Rhett [Reese], are working on the script, and we hope to have the script very soon,” Kinberg said. “We hope to shoot the movie some time at the beginning of next year." Reynolds has reportedly signed on to anchor the second film and with a 2018 release date, there is plenty of time to lay out the best possible movie around him. This time around, expectations will be much higher and based on the massive success of the first movie, this one is likely to have a much bigger budget than its successor. Here’s hoping the writers can find a way to jam even more gratuitous profanity into every scene of this one to make it truly sparkle……..

- ‘Bout damn time. For too long, patrons of the White Settlement Public Library in Texas have had to search for that last copy of the DVD of Matthew McConaughey’s new movie that they were too cheap to see in theaters, a copy of “Atlas Shrugged” or last November’s copy of Time magazine while watched by a furry beast that had no business being inside a public library. For six years, a cat named Browser has lived in the library, but the chat must find a new home after the city council ordered his eviction in a 2-to-1 vote the town’s mayor chalked up to small-town politics run amok. White Settlement Mayor Ron White decried the vote, which council pushed through despite children’s petitions and voters’ protests. Browser has 30 days to vacate the public library in White Settlement and the hero in this tale is a city employee who was angry that he wasn’t allowed to bring his dog to work. Denouncing the double standard, this man waged the war that needed to be fought and now, White Settlement will be a better place for it. “We’ve had that cat five years, and there’s never been a question,” White said. Anyone thinking there’s too much white in this story does have a point, but so does the city council,, which took up the cat’s fate at a June 14 city council meeting under an agenda item listed only as “consider relocation of Library Facility cat Browser.” Council member Elzie Clements and another lawmaker voted in favor of evicting Browser and this governmental visionary explained why.  “City Hall and city businesses are no place for animals,” Clements said at the meeting. Maybe if there had been more than eight people who showed up at the meeting in support of Browser, the outcome could have been different. Then again, the library was pretty much asking for it by having a portion of its website devoted to Browser, writing that the cat’s favorite activities include lounging on top of computer keyboards as library patrons try to type on them and attending GED classes. In other words, this animal was a nuisance and it’s about damn time someone did something about it…….

Olympic bankrupting, NRA v. Hawaii and Russian political corruption hijinks

- Wait….hang on….Russian politics are corrupt? That comes as a complete shock, but it’s sadly true - at least according to Russia's top investigative agency, which says a provincial governor has been arrested on charges of taking a 400,000-euro ($454,000) bribe. Russian politics have always been so upright and wholesome that it’s tough to believe that Kirov regional Gov. Nikita Belykh was caught red-handed while accepting the money in a Moscow restaurant. The Investigative Committee, which totally sounds like a made-up legal entity from some futuristic, dystopian Tom Cruise movie, posted images of Belykh at a table with piles of euro notes apparently marked by police in front of him, which totally could have been Photoshopped or could simply by this guy counting cash he was about to donate to his favorite charity. Investigative Committee spokesman Vladimir Markin isn't buying that tale and while he insisted that Belykh's case has nothing to do with politics, he accused the governor of accepting the bribe in exchange for preferences to a local businessman. Prior to becoming the regional governor in 2009, Belykh served as the leader of the Union of Right Forces, a liberal party, an atypical work history among Russia's provincial leaders. At least if he really did take a bribe here in a sting operation, he did it for a sizeable amount of cash. There’s nothing worse than losing your job AND going to jail for anything less than six figures. Stay class and full of integrity, Russian political system…….

- Congress may not be doing a damn thing about gun control, but at least individual states are taking action. Enter Hawaii, which has become the first state in the U.S. to authorize county police departments to enroll firearms applicants and individuals registering their firearms in a criminal record monitoring service, according to Gov. David Ige. Ige signed SB 2954, locking Hawaii into a criminal record monitoring service also known as the "Rap Back" system.  The FBI provides this service, which conducts continuous criminal record monitoring for authorized government agencies such as law enforcement agencies. The service alerts agencies when a firearm owner is arrested for a criminal offense anywhere in the country, so police departments in Hawaii will be able to evaluate whether the firearm owner may continue to legally possess and own firearms. Also under the new law, the Hawai'i Criminal Justice Data Center will be able to access firearm registration data. "This is about our community’s safety and responsible gun ownership. This system will better enable our law enforcement agencies to ensure the security of all Hawai‘i residents and visitors to our islands,” Ige said. “This bill has undergone a rigorous legal review process by our Attorney General’s office and we have determined that it is our responsibility to approve this measure for the sake of our children and families.” Ige also signed bills specifying that harassment by stalking and sexual assault are among the offenses that disqualify a person from owning, possessing or controlling any firearm or ammunition and requiring firearms owners to surrender their firearms and ammunition to the chief of police if they have been disqualified from owning a firearm and ammunition for various mental health or health issues. Someone book the NRA’s top officials a flight to Hawaii, because it’s time for a fight………

- The people have spoken and director Zack Snyder has listened - sort of. Snyder is reportedly changing the tone of the forthcoming Justice League movie based on the wall of scathing fan and critical hate that “Batman v. Superman” received. That film came out in March and even though it has now grossed over $870 million, critics and snarky movie fans have lavished waves of hate on it, resulting in a 27-percent Rotten Tomatoes score. Comedian Chris Rock recently cried out for relevance by ripping the movie during a panel at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City with “Star Trek” director J.J. Abrams. “When Batman v Superman came out, I was like, 'Wow, okay, oof,’” Snyder said. "It did catch me off guard. I have had to, in my mind, make an adjustment. I do think that the tone of ‘Justice League’ has changed because of what the fans have said. “Justice League” producer Deborah Snyder called the “Batman v. Superman” backlash a "learning experience,” which sounds like a rather expensive understatement. "The main thing we learned, I think: People don't like to see their heroes deconstructed,” she said. Given the egotism that so often prevails among Hollywood’s top directors, it’s nice to see that someone actually gives a damn and doesn’t simply believe that he or she is so much smarter than the masses that any criticism lobbed their way is merely the ignorant ranting of the unwashed masses. That doesn’t mean “Justice League” will be any better, but it’s a nice thought anyhow……..

- The Olympic experience can be a beautiful - i.e. ridiculously expensive and fiscally devastating - for a host city and nation long before the Games begin. This summer’s troubled, polluted and hazardous-to-your-health Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil haven't even started yet and already, the next Summer Games host is already having to take drastic financial measures because the weight of trying to host the biggest sporting event on the planet. The Tokyo metropolitan assembly, getting ready to host the 2020 Summer Games, has decided not to send a group to the Rio de Janeiro Olympics because of spiraling costs on the home front. Tokyo assembly members were scheduled to observe the Olympics in August, but the chaos in Japan forced them to reconsider that plan. Mix in the resignation of Tokyo Gov. Yoichi Masuzoe over criticism of his misuse of political funds and expensive overseas business trips and you have a clear-cut mandate to not use political funds to take expensive overseas business trips. The assembly initially estimated a cost of $610,000 for the trip, but recently determined that the amount would be much higher due partly to surging hotel fees. The clincher was when a citizens' ombudsman submitted a request to the assembly's president to have the trip canceled, leaving the assembly members who still plan to attend the Games to go at Rio on their own expense, on account of feeling the need to do so as members of an assembly of the next host city. Nothing quite like paying your own way to a place where the Zika virus, lethally polluted water, on-street muggings of athletes and a national economic collapse are all threatening to make this the most disastrous Olympics to date………

Putin v. China/Mongolia, Georgia football's criminal ways and The Rock will star in every movie ever

- There will come a year, probably sooner than later, when Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson will appear in literally every movie that is released. Johnson is filming movies at a breakneck pace, anchoring action movies and comedies alike, and he’s now the leading choice to play the title role in a reboot of classic horror movie 'The Wolfman.” You might recall that the film was previously rebooted in 2010 with Benicio Del Toro in the title role, but you should also recall that movie sucking exponentially and making everyone wish it had never happened. That Hollywood is remaking a remake of a movie within seven years is as tired and unimaginative as can be, but Universal Pictures is looking to get Johnson on board for its own take on the movie as part of its rebooted Monster series. Screenwriter Aaron Guzikowski will pen the script and right now, Johnson’s presence as the headliner for the film is still being negotiated, but he seems intent on putting out double-digit movies per year, so the odds of him saying no would appear low. Right now, a revival of “The Mummy,” another franchise of which Johnson has been a big part, is filming a sequel due out next year. That reboot Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe and is directed by Alex Kurtzman. It will be the first movie in the Monster series and will also feature cast members Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson and Sofia Boutella. If Johnson does sign on to play The Wolfman, he won't have much work to do to top Del Toro’s version of the film, which currently holds a rating of just 34 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Look for this to be the latest step in Johnson’s quest for (movie) world domination……..

- Another week, another restaurant patron angered and horrified to learn that their server labeled them with a derogatory team on their bill. A Rhode Island man is the latest victim of a lazy, ignorant waiter who decided that the easiest and most memorable way to identify a patron was picking out something such as their race, ethnicity or an aspect of their appearance rather than learning their name like a normal human being. Dillon Arnold went to All Stars Bar & Grill in Warwick, R.I. with his friends and had a good night right up to the point he received his bill. "I was signing my slip," Arnold told. "I didn't really pay attention to it yet, and then I just happened to read it and I saw it in the corner and I was like, 'Wow,' and my heart just dropped." His hear dropped because the receipt read "fatty" in the place intended for the customer's name. Arnold went where all 21st century, tech-savvy people go with their beefs, social media. He shared a photo of the receipt on Facebook and because body shaming is a huge issue right now, outrage spread quickly. "[The server] legit ID'ed me as 'fatty,' then he wouldn't admit it. They lost mine and my friends business," Arnold wrote in his post. The blowback reached Tony Ambrosio, the owner of the restaurant, and he reached out to Arnold in a comment on the Facebook post. "We sincerely apologize for your negative experience last night. It was very unprofessional to say the least. We take full accountability for what occurred and would like to make it up to you," Ambrosio posted. When Ambrosio found out who the offending server was, he fired him immediately even though the idiot in question turned out to be his son. The son is no longer allowed on the restaurant's property and both men have reached out to Arnold, who has to this point refused to speak to them. If only Ambrosio’s son had put in enough effort to learn Arnold’s first name……..

- There are some rap sheets that even University of Georgia football cannot ignore. Highly ranked recruit  Chad Clay proved as much this week after racking up his second arrest in four months and earning a dismissal from the Georgia football program in the process. Clay, ranked among the top 300 recruits nationally by many recruiting services, was arrested for theft by taking and released on $1,500 bond earlier this week. "Unfortunately, Chad will no longer be a part of our football program," Bulldogs coach Kirby Smart said in a statement. "It is very disappointing, and we wish him the best in his efforts to continue his education." Smart took over the program this offseason after former Georgia coach Mark Richt, who presided over a team that seemed to lead the Southeastern Conference in player arrests on an annual basis, was fired. Richt continually whiffed on booting arrested players from his roster and created a culture in which law breaking seemed to be part of the job description. Smart came in knowing that it would be a super idea to clean things up a bit and when Clay and fellow Georgia freshman Julian Rochester were arrested in April on felony charges of possessing a weapon in a school zone and second-degree criminal damage to property, the alarm bells went off. Although the weapon was only a BB gun, it was discovered in the two players’ dorm room by a university housing official. Adding a theft charge to the mix proved to be the tipping point for Clay, a cornerback from Peachtree Ridge High School in Duluth, Georgia, who had enrolled at Georgia early and can now choose to either focus on his education or talk another school into giving him a chance after the legal system is done with him………

- Ah, the life of a Russian despot. Russian dictator/President Vladimir Putin got a boost this week with the United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union, removing one of the EU’s most critical voices against Putin’s evil empire, but he also had to throw his weight around in Asia be issuing menacing remarks about Mongolia's plans to build a hydroelectric plant on a river flowing into a lake in Siberia. Putin, speaking during a meeting with leaders of China and Mongolia in Uzbekistan's capital, Tashkent, claimed that the prospective China-funded dam on the Selenga River would threaten Lake Baikal, the world's deepest lake. Russia v. Mongolia wouldn’t be much of a battle, but Russia v. China is a heavyweight bout with some real marquee power to it. Putin did offer his own (self-serving) solution by suggesting that Russian power plants could increase electricity supply to Mongolia instead to meet its energy needs. Putin has an unusual ally in environmental groups who have stepped up to oppose the proposed hydropower plant project. Putin met with Chinese President Xi Jinping and Mongolian President Elbegdorj Tsakhia during the two-day summit of a security alliance dominated by Russia and China and after hearing how terrible their hydroelectric plant idea was, Xi and Tsakhia  also chatted with the Russian dictator about a transport corridor and other infrastructure projects………

CM Punk will finally fight, Cameroon equalizes adultery and transporting 1,000 pounds of ganja

- There’s not a lot of defending your case to be done when you’re stopped by police officers and they discover nearly 1,000 pounds of marijuana in the back of the U-Haul van you’re driving. But best of luck to Philadelphia residents Baojie Chen and Da Fen Xiong in making their case after they were arrested when troopers found a U-Haul van during a traffic stop on Interstate 95 in Cecil County (Maryland). Troopers stopped the van on the northbound exit ramp from I-95 to southbound Route 279 just after 8 p.m. for an unspecified traffic violation, but their law enforcement spidey senses perked up and they surmised that something wasn’t quite right. A trooper introduced a drug-sniffing dog into the mix and with half a ton of ganja nearby, the dog didn’t take long to identify the illegal substance in the vehicle. A subsequent search of the vehicle found approximately 938 pounds of marijuana in the cargo hold and authorities believe it may be the largest marijuana seizure ever in the county. “We’re thinking it probably is the largest, if not it’s definitely up there,” Maryland State Police JFK Highway Barrack Lt. Daniel Everett said. Everett estimated the street value of the seized hippie lettuce at $5,000 a pound, making the seizure worth nearly $4.7 million and meaning there is now a rather angry drug dealer or two out their after their drivers failed miserably to keep a low profile and complete their assignment. Chen and Xiong are charged with possession of a controlled dangerous substance, possession of more than 50 pounds of marijuana and possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, crimes for which $4.7 million could mount a top-end legal defense……..

- Noooooooooo! Stay away, iconic directors, from a film franchise that has come to define the law of diminishing returns. That goes for both of you, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. Spielberg confirmed that he'll reunite with “Indiana Jones” creator Lucas for the fifth installment of the iconic adventure series starring an aged-out Harrison Ford alongside a rotating cast in increasingly awful and poorly written films that took a huge turn for the worst with “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” in 2008. The fifth movie in the series, which has one advantage in that it will be tough to make a movie as bad as “Crystal Skull,” is due out in 2019 and will see a 70-something Ford returning as the titular whip-cracking archaeologist, while composer John Williams will score the film as he’s always done for the franchise. "George is going to be an executive producer on it with me,” Spielberg said. “Of course I would never make an Indiana Jones film without George Lucas. That would be insane." Hear that, G., that you can kill this terrible idea simply by changing your mind and saying no. But hey, at least Spielberg sounds pumped about this. "I'm super excited,” he said. "I think this one is straight down the pike for fans. The one thing I will tell you is I'm not killing off Harrison at the end of it." Lucas will act as an executive producer on the project, which is interesting because he previously announced that he was retired from filmmaking and made billions of dollars selling off his “Star Wars” empire to Disney………

- Score one for gender equality in Cameroon. Up to now, adultery has been a criminal act for women only in the African nation, but that’s about to change now that Cameroon's parliament has voted to change the country's penal code to criminalize adultery for men. The changes are expected to be endorsed by both the Senate and President Paul Biya, who had proposed the revision, so now both parties can be thrown in jail if a man cheats on his wife with a woman who’s cheating on her husband. The current penal code stipulates that women should be punished for adultery with two to six months in prison or with fines of up to about $175 and in a twist that should encourage men to either keep their pants zipped up or at least get better about cheating and lying about cheating, men would face the same punishment under the expected changes. It sounds like a thoroughly reasonable idea that no logical, fair person could oppose…unless that someone is Barrister Nick Tazoh of the Cameroon Bar Council, who claimed the law is taking the central African country backward and will send more people to already congested prisons. Yes, refuse to hold both parties accountable for a mutual decision because it will stunt social progress and send men who refuse to adhere to a completely fair law to prison. This, Cameroon, is why you cannot ever have nice things……..

- He was once WWE’s World Heavyweight Champion. Now, pro-wrassler-turned-MMAer CM Punk will make his UFC debut in the city that’s home to the NBA’s newly minted world champions. Punk, birth name Phil Brooks, signed with the UFC in December 2014, and will finally make his UFC debut in a welterweight bout against Mickey Gall at UFC 203 on Sept. 10. His debut was pushed back by a shoulder injury, but now Punk will step into the octagon at UFC 203 in Cleveland, an event in which hometown hero Stipe Miocic will defend his UFC heavyweight title for the first time against Alistair Overeem. There will also be a co-main event in which Fabricio Werdum will take on Ben Rothwell, but it’s a fair bet that there will be a lot of eyes on the Punk-Gall bout simply because Punk has been dangled in UFC fans’ faces for a year and a half now and most believe there is no way he’s going to be successful in his new sport because he’s 37 years old and despite being in great shape, he’s entering a whole new world. His foe, Gall, is 2-0 and is a welterweight prospect fighting out of New Brunswick, New Jersey, some 13 years younger than Punk. Gall made his UFC debut on Feb. 6 and picked up a first-round submission win, which means he’s two wins ahead of his next opponent and will probably be favored heading into the fight. Still, drawing eyeballs to the action and selling pay-per-view buys is what UFC is ultimately about whether Dana White and his business partners sell their business or not. Punk is good for business in that respect and whether he pans out or not, his first fight will do some good for UFC’s bottom line……..

Moldova tells Russia to eff off, Julius Randle won't stop felon-ing an Bryan Cranston leads the Power Rangers

- Oh, how the mighty leader of Albuquerque crystal meth underworld has fallen. Bryan Cranston, who will forever be known first and foremost as Walter White of “Breaking Bad” fame, has signed up to appear in the new Power Rangers film as the superheroes’ leader Zordon. The role won't require all of Cranston, as Zordon is a disembodied head floating in a tube who leads and trains the Power Rangers. It’s an odd choice for a leader, but the casting was confirmed by a post from - and yes this really exists - the official Power Rangers account, stating “The mighty Zordon has officially been cast. Please welcome Bryan Cranston to the Power Rangers Movie.” Elizabeth Banks is also part of the cast and will play arch-villain Rita Repulsa. The Power Rangers will be played by “Life Bites” actress Naomi Scott, teen rapper Becky G, Dacre Montgomery, Ludi Lyn and RJ Cyler, none of who are well-known and probably won't be based on this project, to be directed by Dean Israelite, who also directed “Project Almanac.” After being replaced as the director of “Doctor Strange” by Scott Derrickson, Israelite had an opening in his schedule and he now gets to helm a reboot of the Power Rangers franchise, which will be the series’ first film since a pair of movies were released in the mid 1990s, “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie” and “Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie.” If you don’t remember them, don’t worry because the rest of us either don’t recall them or made a conscious choice to forget that they ever existed. But in Hollywood, remakes, reboots and unnecessary sequels are definitely still a thing we have to deal with………

- When the United States needs someone to stand in the way of progress, Congress is always there to come through. Stand an applaud Iowa Republican Rep. Steve King for being the latest to stand in the gap and stop change from happening after the  Treasury Department announced in April that it would switch out President Andrew Jackson for prominent abolitionist Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill. It seemed like a wise move to put a) the first woman and b) a minority on a piece of currency, but King was having none of it and after a few weeks to stew over it, he has introduced an amendment to bar the Treasury Department from spending any funds to redesign paper money or coin currency. His plan would nullify the Treasury Department's plans to replace the current image of Jackson on the $20 bill with a portrait of Tubman, who bravely worked on the Underground Railroad during the Civil War. There seemed to be no sensible reason to prevent her from becoming he first black woman ever to appear on a U.S. banknote, but leave it to a member of Congress to step up and pig-headedly lay their body across the railroad tracks of social progress, stopping that train in its tracks. Sure, it was overshadowed by a week in which Congress failed to pass any one of four bills that would have enacted stricter gun control laws in the wake of the Orlando mass shooting incident, but don’t let King’s anti-heroics go unheralded. Word on the street is that the Iowa Republican is hoping to attach his legislation to another bill that will authorize the Treasury Department's funding, but he’s remain suspicious mum on the rationale behind his bill or what he hopes to accomplish with it………

- Can’t stop, won't stop, won't be a free man any time soon. Former Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle has been a busy felon since long before his unwanted exodus from the league and now that he’s out of football and in the cafeteria line at a local jail in Kansas, he’s not slowing his pace one bit. Randle, who has been charged in Kansas with a casino disturbance and with backing his car into three people, among his indiscretions, has now been charged with threatening a deputy while jailed on other charges in Kansas. According to sheriff's spokesman Lt. Lin Dehning, Randle is accused of threatening a deputy who was "enforcing the rules" last month at the Sedgwick County Jail. Yes, this guy has gone from threatening to go the distance every time he took a handoff to threatening a deputy who demands that he play nice with his cellmate and not have any contraband hidden under his mattress. While police didn’t immediately provide any other details of Randle’s infractions, he was charged with a felony count of criminal threat. Randle then made the always memorable first court appearance in the case via a video link from the jail, which is always a distinguished route to go. For a dude who had a string of run-ins with the law when he was a free man with high-paying job, it’s not really surprising that Randle had major issues with cops when he was behind bars and surrounded by them on a daily basis, but at this rate he’s going to rack up three strikes on his felony scoreboard sooner rather than later……….

- Dear Russia…umm, can you kind of stop poaching our citizens to enlist in your army? Sincerely, your pal, Moldova. That request may not carry a lot of weight, but Moldova's foreign ministry has nonetheless called on Russia to stop recruiting Moldovan citizens to the Russian Army. In what was undoubtedly a forcefully written, boldly crafted letter sent to the Russian embassy in Chisinau, the ministry accused Russia of recruiting soldiers in Ternovca, a village located in the pro-Russian breakaway region of Trans-Dniester, which borders Ukraine. Accusing Russia of doing unethical things anywhere in the immediate vicinity of Ukraine is a pretty safe play and Moldova believes that the alleged recruitments violate bilateral agreements. However, this mini-manifesto was a bit vague in that it did not say when the alleged recruitments took place or how many people had been recruited. Those sorts of nondescript threats are harder to rally around for most and it’s not surprising that the Russian embassy did not immediately respond. The letter also included a demand that  Russia withdraw some 1,000 Russian troops stationed in Trans-Dniester. Trans-Dniester, which broke away from Moldova in 1990 fearing Moldova intended to reunite with Romania, is a place Moldova feels is in need of an international civil peacekeeping operation. Despite its efforts to the contrary, Trans-Dniester is not internationally recognized as an independent state. Many who live there would like to become the world’s 194th nation, but the region is having a hard time gaining much traction to make that happen. For now, it will have to settle for being the piece of property over which the latest World v. Russia showdown is taking place……..

Milkshake assaults, pro sports open to Sin City and 50 Cent no longer appreciated

- Canada is a polite place filled with denim, bitchin’ tunes from Bryan Adams and an excessive amount of ice year-round, but a touch of unintentional violence could be coming your way, Canucks. Duck and cover because the flannel-clad set of the Backyard Axe-Throwing League want to add a little liquid courage to their “sport” and are getting ready to petition for a liquor license. Organizers of the special axe-throwing league in Canada recently brought in a safety expert to their six locations in Ontario and believe - for some reason - that they can safely add some Molson and Labatt’s to the proceedings with no negative ramifications. “We received glowing reviews on the safety to go ahead with the application for the liquor license,” CEO Matt Wilson said. “In 2014, we had 100,000 new visitors... Nothing has ever happened to any of the guests while throwing the axes.” Yes, and during that time of a spotless safety record, none of the people hurling large, sharp hunks of metal on heavy wooden sticks has been above the legal limit for driving. Allowing a thrower to booze up and then chuck an axe or having drunk fans who aren't alert or capable of moving out of harm’s way is a recipe for disaster. Better to stick with the current arrangement of having folks quench their thirst with non-alcoholic beverages they bring from home is probably best, even if axe throwers sign waivers, plenty of trainers are on hand and the only injuries you’ve had in the past five years are cuts to the hand that came when staffers were sharpening axes. Leave the liquor for shirtless football fans in sub-freezing temperatures who need the warmth a $10 Budweiser can provide……….

- People clearly don’t appreciate 50 Cent the way they once did. The man who became famous for being shot nine times, surviving and becoming one of the biggest rappers in the world for a time is now a dude who gets  kicked off stage during a concert in Atlanta over the weekend for overrunning his set. He was performing at Hot 107.9’s Birthday Bash in the ATL when event officials decided that he’d exceeded his allotted time and wouldn’t be allowed to continue. Let’s just say he didn’t react well. "You mean my time is up?" he said, addressing the Bash's organizers. "You mean to tell me you mother*ckers is gonna kick me off the stage for T.I. and Jeezy? F*ck this! F*ck it!" In a misguided display, 50 then dropped the mic in protest, apparently forgetting that one typically drops the mic after saying something epic and leaving the scene, which he seemed to not want to do. He picked said mic back up and beefed with the stage manager. “I got one minute left. You mean to tell me I can’t have one minute? I’m not leaving, I don’t give a f*ck who’s coming up next," the rapper barked. I can’t have one minute? Is she the program director? Take my music off your station. I don’t want your mother*ckin’ station no more. We got YouTube.” Yes, you got YouTube, although YouTube is really not the main reason 50 Cent is, as he said to conclude his rant, “rich as a mother*cker." He may have told his foes on that day that it’s “too late to hate,” but they felt differently and ultimately won out……..

- Will the fast food rage never end? Folks are way too angry about the perceived lack of quality in food they pay less than $4 for, giving off the impression that they expect gourmet cuisine for drive thru prices. The latest incarnation of this trend is an unidentified fast food fighter in Dallas who went on a threatening rampage because he was dissatisfied with a milkshake order at a Burger King location in the 11800 block of N. Central Expressway. Surveillance footage from the restaurant shows the customer at the counter, interacting with employee Alejandra Estrada, then throwing a frozen beverage in a cup at Estrada. Not satisfied with assault by strawberry shake, this maniac then grabs a highchair from the seating section and flings it across the counter. “I was very scared,” Estrada said. “He hit me in my face, and he called me names.” Physically and verbally assaulting a 60-year-old fast food worker is pretty high on the scumbag scale and the situation only got worse when the man demanded coffee in place of his unsatisfactory milkshake and was told there was no coffee. At that point, he began yelling and jumped the counter, chasing a fleeing Estrada back to the office area in the rear of the restaurant, where this misogynistic fool punched the terrified employee in the face. “He said, ‘I’m going to kill you.’ Oh my God. I tried to close the door, but the door doesn’t [close],” Estrada said. Dallas police are investigating the incident as an assault and are hopeful that although there is no audio to go with the footage, someone will be able to identify the assailant so this fool can be apprehended and punished for his crimes against the affordable, quick food industry………

- When the dam bursts, apparently Sin City is suddenly the place to go for all American professional sports leagues looking to expand. With all signs pointing to the NHL reportedly close to announcing a team in Las Vegas and the Oakland Raiders extremely interested in becoming Vegas’ first NFL team, it appears that Major League Baseball, the most gambling-averse of all the major professional sports, is warming up to the idea of having a team in a place where gambling on sports is as legal as it can possibly be. MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred seems to differ from his predecessor, Bud Selig, on the issue of having a team in Vegas and said this week that the city is a "viable option" for a franchise.  "We passed that by a long time ago, right? There are casinos all over the place,” Manfred said. “I see Las Vegas as a viable alternative. I would not disqualify it just because of the gambling issue.” The NBA has also shown itself to be more receptive to having a team in the city and already has a summer league there, so it would seem that within a few years, Las Vegas will go from having no pro sports franchises to having multiple franchises, although there’s still the issue of having a lot of other entertainment options to choose from for locals and visitors alike, so contending with shady gambling characters may take a back seat to battling Celine Dion, Britney Spears and Sigfried and Roy for whichever leagues decide that dropping a team in the middle of the desert is a wise idea. Of course, MLB can't position itself as much of a viable foe of gambling given its status as a financial backer of Draft Kings, which more and more states are classifying as a form of sports gambling. Just as MLB has been dragged into the modern age when it comes to the role of technology in the game, it appears that a revised view on gambling is in order……..

Italy's own Trump-like circus, Kanye helps a homeless rapper and sushi doughnuts are a thing

- If we’re paying attention to track and field enough to know that a Somalian distance running coach is at the center of a massive international doping scandal, then the Olympics must be near. Step right up, coach of world 1,500-meter champion Genzebe Dibaba and other long-distance runners, and accept your 15 minutes of infamy after you were arrested near Barcelona when Spanish police raided your hotel room and found traces of EPO and other banned substances. Jama Aden was detained along with an unnamed trainer from Morocco, in conjunction with amateur sports’ governing body, the IAAF, tested 30 athletes who were also guests at the Sabadell hotel. The hotel, about 15 miles from Barcelona, is where the coach has established annual training camps since 2013. Believe the IAAF and it’s also where he’s doled out all manner of illegal substances during that time. Police confirmed that Aden and his trainer were under arrest on charges of administering and distributing doping substances and endangering public health, capping an investigation launched when a Spanish anti-doping agency alerted local authorities in 2015. A lengthy investigation followed leading up to the bust at the Arrahona hotel, close to the training facilities were many athletes were preparing for the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. Authorities found some 60 used syringes in the raid, which rounded up athletes from African and Asian countries like Somalia, Ethiopia, Djibouti, Algeria, Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Qatar. Nicknamed "Operation Rial'' by investigators, the investigation included testing for 28 of the 30 detained athletes. Oh, and Dibaba is a heavy favorite to win the Olympic women's 1,500 in Rio de Janeiro, so she should probably get ready for some very regular testing in the net few weeks……..

- Oh, trendy foodies, always looking for the next cool thing to Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook about in order to prove what a culinary expert you are. The instant you pause to admire that great shot of whatever is on your brunch plate or take an extra sip of the coolest new drink imaginable, someone else is blowing right by you and finding the next big thing. Here’s hoping that next big thing isn't sushi doughnuts. Possibly the one thing worse than recent food trends like ramen burgers, birthday cake croissants and the rainbow bagel sushi doughnuts are threatening to hijack your Instagram feed and make you wonder what the hell people are doing with their free time and food palates. They look better than the idea of a sushi doughnuts sound and are actually just sushi rolls in the shape of a standard doughnut, consisting of white rice, mayo frosting, and your choice of fish and other beloved sushi items as toppings. Leading the charge on the idea are the hipster-catering kooks of Whole Foods, who have decided to offer their customers a brown rice roll filled with salmon and avocado sushi doughnut. If you can get mainstream acceptance in the form of a major grocery store willing to sell your product, then you have a foot in the most important door there is, but that doesn’t mean sushi doughnuts are going to be a thing for more than their requisite 15 minutes of wholly undeserved food fame……..

- While everything Kanye West does is first and foremost about Kanye West, it’s nice to know that others can occasionally benefit from the collateral success his ego-nado creates. For example, the self-absorption of Kanye being Kanye and looking to show his inherent genius is doing good in the life of Cameron Grey, a homeless man who originally approached West outside the House Of Blues venue in Los Angeles in February 2015 and delivered an impromptu performance on the spot. Grey approached West and his pal Justin Bieber and asked Mr. Kim Kardashian to give him a chance. West later called the Tennessee native and provided him with studio time as well as access to Grammy-winning producer, Anthony Kilhoffer. Grey’s bold move is about to pay off, as West helped him get his debut album in order and now, the album has its first single. “Never Bout Us” is the debut single and while the rest of the album doesn’t yet have an official release date, it does have a title. That title would be “Cocaine Ferrari,” which sounds like a wholesome family album full of tracks that have to do with people giving up their cocaine habit in order to buy that Ferrari they’ve always wanted. Either that or the entire album is about snorting blow off the expensive leather seats of your even more expensive Italian sports car, presumably with a self-employed model or two riding shotgun……….

- There are a lot of countries around the world that can rightfully mock the United States for allowing Oversized Pumpkin Pie Mixed With a Weathered Basketball Donald Trump to get this close to its highest elected office, but not you, Italy. Not when an anti-establishment party founded by a comic has triumphed in Italian mayoral runoff elections, curb stomping Premier Matteo Renzi's candidates in Rome and another key city, giving the party ample momentum for its national power-seizing goals. The 5-Star Movement is the name of this clown fest and its candidate in Rome, Virginia Raggi, a lawyer with a three-year stint as a city councilwoman, took 67.2 percent of the vote in a two-person runoff over the weekend. She did make history by becoming both the corruption-riddled capital city's first female mayor and its youngest while promising to work to bring "legality and transparency" to Rome's City Hall, which a party founded by a comedian is obviously well-equipped to do given that prosecutors in Rome are probing widespread corruption and have found many municipal contracts were awarded without taking bids to political pals and even a Mafia-like clique. A second 5-Star candidate, Chiara Appendino, also won big in Turin, where she defeated Mayor Piero Fassino, a veteran Democrat. Mix in defections and the Rome scandals and the Democratic Party is taking a beating from which there is no laughter to be derived. Many of them are pushing back against what they view as Renzi's brash management style bordering on arrogance. Leading up to the runoff elections, the premier tried to downplay their importance as a perceived referendum on his two years at the helm of a center-left coalition that has been marred by infighting. National elections remain more than a year away, although Renzi has promised to resign if a referendum this fall fails to confirm reforms aimed at streamlining Parliament and the lawmaking progress. Given the way things are going for him right now, it might be time to begin drafting that resignation letter………

A Parrot v. Dre and 50 CENT, Chanel v. a mugger and Olympians v. Zika fears

- This never ends well. When a government at any level decides that it’s going to hold off on paying its police or military, the results are invariably bad. Either the brave men and women who fill those positions decide that they don’t like risking their lives for nothing or someone on the wrong side of the law sees it as a chance to buy the law enforcement or military’s favor at an opportune time, but pulling the plug on the direct deposits to soldiers and cops definitely creates issues. Take that under advisement, Zimbabwe's cash-strapped government, in light of your announcement that you will delay paying salaries to the military and police by up to two weeks. Not only that, other workers on the state payroll will only receive their salaries next month. All of this came from the country’s finance ministry, which issued a notice dated June 16 saying the military will be paid on June 27 and the police three days later. Workers in other departments will be asked to wait even longer, supposedly not receiving their June salaries until mid-July. In good months, the military is usually the first to get paid around mid-month. As one of the main pillars of dictator/President Robert Mugabe's rule, that makes sense. However, Zimbabwe is struggling with severely depleted revenues and has been delaying pay to the military and other workers for about a year. This is the longest delay to date and even the most optimistic person can see that this is trending in a very bad direction for everyone involved in this mess……….

- This is a fun twist on the Olympic tradition of athletes trying to jam as much sex with their fellow elite athletes and other local hotties as possible into the two-plus weeks of the Games. Normally, the sex-related story leading up to the Olympics is how many condoms organizers will pour into the Athletes Village in order to keep the world’s best athletes from becoming its most proficient procreators, but this year the Zika virus is flipping the script. Thanks to the virus, which leads to various birth defects and other health issues related especially to pregnant women, more and more male Olympians are taking extra precuations before heading to Brazil for the Games. One of the first was British Olympic long jump champion Greg Rutherford, whose partner said last week that the could would freeze a sample of his sperm because of fears of Zika. Now, Spain's Pau Gasol says he will consider freezing a sperm sample because of concerns over Zika should he suit up for his nation  in the Rio de Janeiro Olympics. The Chicago Bulls center says "freezing sperm is one of the measures I have to consider,” although he has yet to commit to playing for Spain. Gasol has led Spain to two consecutive silver medals after losing to the United States in the 2008 and 2012 finals and Spain is predicted to be one of the Americans’ top rivals again this year, but Gasol clearly doesn’t want to put the pursuit of a gold medal ahead of his possible future family and as the Games near, this trend continues to pick up speed. Now if only there was a way to protect against Brazil’s toxic, super-bacteria-infested water for those participating in or attending the Olympics……….

- Putting on a little too much perfume never smelled so good. A Mddletown, Ohio woman found herself in a harrowing position late last week when she left her home early in the afternoon and had an attacker grab her by the arm and demand that she drive him where he wanted to go.  "When I came out somebody grabbed my left arm and put their hand around my mouth," Joyce Kenney said. "(He) grabbed my keys out of my door and told me to get in the car and drive." According to a police report,  the suspect forced Kenney into her car and sat in the passenger seat as she began to drive north on South Breiel Boulevard until she made it to the intersection of Breiel and Central. "I just begged him, 'please don't hurt or kill me,' and he wouldn't respond," Kenney said. "He said, 'just drive,' that's all he said." Trying to keep her wits about her, Kenney told police that she noticed her perfume in the driver's seat door and quickly grabbed the bottle, praying the suspect in the face. It was the only weapon she had and she used it to Chanel the hell out of the suspects eyes, casuing the man to clutch at his face and temporarily blinding him as she kicked him out of the car. Kenney, who has an illness that affects her leg, was surprised that she was able to boot the suspect out of the vehicle and told police that the man fled north on Breiel before going out of sight. Because the suspect wore a ski mask, all Kenney knows is that he was 5-foot-8 with a thin build and either a goatee or patch of hair on his chin, clad in a jean jacket and gray jeans. Maybe Christian Dior can use this story for its next perfume commercial rather than some bizarre, nonsensical black-and-white nonsense featuring that weirdo Johnny Depp babbling on about searching for something he can’t see……….

- It appears that producer Brandon Parrott is fighting well out of his weight class, but he’s forging ahead in his lawsuit against rap heavyweights Dr. Dre and 50 Cent over the beat used on the track “P.I.M.P.” Parrot is suing 13 years after the fact over the track, which features on 50 Cent's 2003 album “Get Rich Or Die Tryin,” because he claims it uses his beat without crediting him for it. Parrot alleges that he sent 10 different samples to Aftermath Entertainment in 2001, including a track called “BAMBA.” That same sample was allegedly used two years later as part of “P.I.M.P.,” but he says that he was told in 2003 that the use of his track was a mistake. Where he’s going to have a tough time justifying his squawking in the case is the point where he signed a settlement based on that information, only to claim more than a decade later that he believes Aftermath, Dre and 50 Cent took advantage of him. Maybe he’s not doing so well financially these days and someone convinced him that it was worth trying to reopen this case and squeeze more money of out it, because he’s now seeking compensation for the use of his beat. At present, D12's Denaun Porter is the only producer credited with working on 'P.I.M.P.' Dre, meanwhile, is reported to be working on a large quantity of new music and one would presume not giving a damn about a lawsuit filed by some dude named Brandon Parrot. Maybe you want to do a better job of picking your legal representation in important situations such as this, B. Parrot, so you don’t have to try to rip up a settlement you signed 13 years after the fact in what appears to be nothing more than a desperate cash grab……..

Penn Station + thrill ride, AMC v. 'Walking Dead' fans and UAB football finds a gold mine

- Maybe the University of Alabama-Birmingham should have shuttered its football program sooner. There’s nothing like shutting down a program under bogus, fabricated financial circumstances to fan the flames of support and get the dollars rolling into UAB football. On Dec. 3, 2014, the school announced it was shutting down the football program despite an independent report showing that the fiscal woes it cited as the reason for the closure were largely over-exaggerated or even made up by the school. Current and former players lashed out, ripping administrators for the decision and vowing to raise the necessary funds to get their beloved Blazers back on the field. Eventually, the school relented and agreed to revive football and that process to another huge step forward this week when the UA system's board of trustees gave final approval for the construction of a $20 million football operations building and covered practice field. The new 46,000-square-foot football operations building will feature a weight room, a dining area, locker rooms, offices, meeting rooms and a study hall. Not only that, but the school also will build a covered practice field and is planning to break ground in August with a targeted July 2017 completion date. “We will have an indoor practice facility -- but with no walls," UAB athletic director Mark Ingram said. "It's a pioneering concept." Hmm, saving money by getting rid of the walls. Interesting. "Eighteen months ago, they eliminated the program, and we've raised over $38 million in gifts and pledges in the last year," Ingram said. "It's absolutely mindboggling." Of that amount, $20 million was designated for the football operations building and covered practice field. If the school can rake in an additional $2.5 million, UAB also will add two new practice fields. As for actual competitive football, UAB's football program makes its return on Sept. 2, 2017, against Alabama A&M………..

- Someone call the karma police. Justice must be served after a mob of intolerant Muslims went full-on creep in Istanbul, attacking a group of Radiohead fans who had gathered at a record store to listen to the band's new album. As rock and roll fans often do, the Radiohead devotees were hanging out and drinking beer to go with their favorite tunes when a mob of 20 assailants carrying sticks and bottles attacked them. The incident took place at the Velvet Indieground record shop, where posters advertising the streaming event of the album were ripped off nearby walls. Witnesses said the fans were simply getting their beer on and chatting when about 20 men began to throw glass bottles at them. Video of the incident was soon posting online, showing the ugliness unfolding an suggesting that the attackers were angered by participants drinking alcohol during the holy Muslim month of Ramadan. In a heavily Muslim nation, it definitely helps to understand the social and religious climates and possible threats a certain behavior might pose, but it’s also reasonable to think that going to a record store, grabbing a bottle of beer and chilling with your fellow Radiohead fans as you get a first listen to your favorite band’s newest album shouldn’t be a reason to have to fear for your life. Radiohead issued a statement offering their "love and support" to Istanbul fans, who will hopefully get a free ticket the next time Thom York and his bandmates have a show anywhere close to Turkey’s capital city………

- Shows used to appreciate and value their fans, not threaten to wage legal war on them. With the rise of fan sites and social media, simple fandom has turned into a rabid, excessive devotion to various shows, a devotion bordering on the obsessive and sparking fans to predict, speculate and debate what will happen to their favorite characters. Few shows have more of a loyal following than AMC’s “The Walking Dead,” which ended its sixth season in April with a cliffhanger based on who new villain Negan killed with a baseball bat. In order to keep anyone from knowing who will actually die in the final version of the scene, producers filmed 11 separate death scenes to keep the identity of the victim a secret. The death scene will open season seven this fall, and in the meantime, fans such as those on the fan site The Spoiling Dead are speculating who the victim will be. That would normally be nothing more than harmless speculation and a sign of how strong the show’s following is, but AMC doesn’t see it that way and has threatened to sue the site if it correctly guesses Negan’s victim on the grounds that the site has insider knowledge on the show. “AMC has been harassing us for four days now by contacting our homes, our family members and our employers; even posting on this page and personal social media accounts,” the site’s organizers wrote in a post. “We are fans of this show just like you and aren’t a commercial operation that makes profit. We have families and careers to think about. No spoiler will ever be worth compromising those things. If you think this makes us pussies that are bowing down to AMC then so be it.” They claim to have no insider knowledge and said AMC’s attorney has contacted them in recent days to warn of what will happen should their prediction be accurate. Elsewhere in the post, they suggest that the network “could have taken a more diplomatic approach that could have given them the same results.” Or the network could have simply chosen not to be ass hats and been grateful for how many people love their show………

- For those who don’t find riding the trains and subways of the greater New York City area exciting enough, a developer has an idea for making Penn Station a more thrilling place to be. Brooklyn Capital Partners, which just sounds douchey based on its name and location, is looking to bank some sweet coin with 1,200-foot high free-fall tower ride to be placed on top of either the transit hub or on the back of the James A. Farley Post Office building. It’s a big idea in a city that is full of people going big while living in ridiculously small apartments as astronomically large prices, and boy are the $5,000-suit-wearing money worshippers at Brooklyn Capital Partners selling the hell out of this idea courtesy of an effusive, flowery message posted on the project’s website. “This is New York’s high-tech version of the Eiffel Tower: a thrill ride taller than the Empire State Building, and an unforgettable icon on the skyline,” the post reads. Wow, overreaching much, BCP? New York’s version of an historic, iconic landmark that millions visit every year? Nice try. The ride, dubbed “The Halo,” would accommodate 11 rides of varying speeds around the perimeter of the steel lattice tower. The fastest of those offerings would be a six-second free fall at 100 miles an hour, marking one of the first times in the history of Manhattan that anyone has moved faster than 10 miles an hour in a vehicle of any sort……….