Saturday, December 27, 2014

Wale + Festivus, Femen's topless ladies v. the Vatican and UFC vs. monopoly status


- It was a dangerous week for baby Jesus in nativity scenes. Exhibit A comes to us from Haverhill, Massachusetts, where local police said the theft of a Jesus and replacing it with a severed pig's head may be treated as a hate crime. According to the big-city law enforcement professionals of the HPD, a Jesus statue was stolen from a Nativity scene in front of Sacred Hearts Church on South Main Street and replaced with a real pig's head. As disturbing as that thought is and as offensive as such a gesture is to those who hold Jesus in reverence, there is a degree of disturbing boldness and even respect that should be afforded to whoever was sociopathic or hateful enough to go to the trouble of obtaining said severed swine head, transporting it to the church and swapping it out for cute little baby Jesus. Police held a news conference in which they sought public for help in finding whomever is responsible for the vandalism.  "We're also asking for the assistance of any local farms, any butcher shops if they have sold any whole pigs," detective Robert Pistone said. According to Pistone, the head appeared to have been chopped off recently and was also covered in hair, which is typically not the way a severed pig’s head would emerge from the processing stages at a butcher shop. "If our investigation leads us to think this person was motivated by prejudice towards a religion, it will be treated as a hate crime," Pistone said. Following the incident, church leaders announced plans for a prayer service to be held to bless the creche that was vandalized. One might also surmise that church members won't have much of an appetite for bacon at any of their pancake breakfasts in the near future……….


- Not everyone is a big fan of the biggest mixed martial arts outfit around. As the year winds down and a new one is about to start, a group of current and former mixed martial arts fighters is suing the company that owns the Ultimate Fighting Championship in the first step of what could become a class-action antitrust lawsuit involving hundreds of fighters. After months of speculation about potential legal action, the suit was filed against Zuffa LLC, the parent company of the UFC, in U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California. The suit is spearheaded by three named plaintiffs: current UFC middleweight Cung Le and former UFC fighters Jon Fitch and Nathan Quarry. The trio accuses UFC of being a monopoly that forces out rival promotions and limits fighter earnings. They are represented by Phoenix-based attorney Rob Maysey, who has opposed the UFC for years and claims he has attempted for years to warn the world's largest promoter of MMA competitions about the prospect of an antitrust case. "I called [the UFC] in 2006 and said, 'You have a choice.' I said, 'You guys are going to recognize a fighters' association or you're going to face an antitrust case," Maysey said. He argued that UFC has forced out smaller promotions and thereby limited the clout and earnings potential of fighters. According to the lawsuit, UFC maintains its stranglehold on the mixed martial arts world by preventing fighters from working with other promoters, profiting from individual marketing deals and signing with outside sponsors. These practices suppress fighters' incomes, according to the lawsuit. "They [the UFC] control our likeness," said Le, the only current UFC fighter who is also listed as a plaintiff in the lawsuit. This probably isn't what Dana White was hoping to end his year with……..


- Femen has quite a brass pair…for an activist group comprised entirely of people without any. The all-female group of femi-Nazis whose primary means of expressing their discontent with the state of the world around them is taking off their tops an exposing their assets to the world shows up in places people would rather they not be, but nowhere would their chest-baring presence be less welcome than in a nation-state established solely as a place for one of the world’s most prominent religions to have its base of operations. Enter the not-shy Ukrainian activist Yana Zhdanova, who was arrested by Vatican police on Christmas Day for baring her chest and snatching the statue of Baby Jesus in the life-size Nativity scene in the center of St. Peter's Square. It’s not the sort of crime a person commits with the hope or expectation of getting away and indeed, in announcing the arrest Vatican officials noted that the incident was aimed to "intentionally offend the religious feelings" of numerous people. Maybe, but a topless European blonde jumping into the middle of a nativity scene is perhaps less offensive and more appealing to a certain segment of the world’s population – i.e. men. Vatican spokesman Rev. Father Federico Lombardi said Zhdanova was being held for questioning on possible charges of carrying out obscene acts in public, insults and theft. Those charges may or may not happen, but anyone in the square on Christmas will never, ever forget the sight of Zhdanova grabbing the Baby Jesus statue about an hour after the pope offered his Christmas blessing and a Vatican guard rushing to cover her exposed rack with his cape while she held tight to baby Jesus and shouted "God is woman." Hey Yana….God is also a fan of proper grammar, you kook……….


- The odd couple of rapper Wale and old-school Jewish comedian Jerry Seinfeld rides again. Wale famously enlisted Seinfeld to feature on one of the rapper’s albums, releasing his debut Seinfeld-themed effort, “Mixtape About Nothing,” in 2008. The title was a direct reference to the inherent joke that Seinfeld’s self-titled 1990s sitcom was a “show about nothing” and that theme even inspired a second Wale album, “More About Nothing,” in 2010. But perhaps the greatest Seinfeldian feat of Wale’s career happened this week as he honored the fake-turned-real holiday inspired by a single episode of the sitcom with an album known simply as “Festivus.” Festivus, of course, is the faux-holiday created by Jerry Stiller’s character on the show when he felt the commercialized nature of Christmas had gotten out of hand. Built around the infamous Airing of Grievances, Feats of Strength and the decoration of an aluminum pole instead of a Christmas tree, Festivus has become a pop culture phenomenon celebrated by thousands. It now has a hip-hop soundtrack thanks to Wale, who debuted his creation on SoundCloud, with guest sports from Chance The Rapper, Pusha T, Ab-Soul, A$AP Ferg and more. With producer A-Trak at the helm, Wale continues his well-known admiration for his favorite show and it’s an all-timer in so many ways. The release is likewise a proud moment for Rick Ross' Maybach Music Group, of which Wale became a member a few years ago. It’s truly a Festivus for the rest of us………..

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