- Texas
A&M student assistant Michael Richardson must have been watching his
Woody Hayes “How to officially kill any life left in your football coaching
career” instructional video before the AutoZone Liberty Bowl on Monday. Richardson,
who suited up as a linebacker as a true freshman for Texas A&M before
suffering a career-ending neck injury in a Nov. 17, 2012, win over Sam Houston
State, wasn’t exactly the star staff member for head coach Kevin Sumlin during
the Aggies’ 45-37 win over West Virginia. In fact, he did the most for the team
in the second half, when Sumlin ordered him to remain in the locker room for
shoving two West Virginia players on the sideline during the first half.
Unlike the ridiculous moment when Hayes punched a Clemson player during the 1978
Gator Bowl, Richardson had to know there would be cameras that caught him striking
West Virginia players who ended up out of bounds during the first half on two
separate occasions. His first contact was a WWE-worthy elbow to the back of the
head of WVU cornerback Daryl Worley, but this tool wasn’t nearly done. He
showed his two-way versatility by attacking an offensive player later in the
half, shoving running back Andrew Buie. Someone alerted Sumlin to Richardson’s
hijinks at halftime and in a one-point bowl game, that’s exactly the sort of
important matter a coach wants to deal with. School officials confirmed that Richardson
was not allowed to return to the sideline for the second half and while the end
of his playing career was sad because it involved serious neck injury beyond
his control, the end of his student coaching career, not so sad……….
- What the hell, Americans who like a disgustingly large smorgasbord
of high-calorie food options jammed into a large, circular setting with watch
and cell phone kiosks off in the distance? The food courts of America’s malls
are supposed to be a sacred place where unhealthy people with disposable cash
gather between stops at Old Navy and FYE and throw away $25 on a lunch
consisting of $4 slices of Sbarro pizza, $6 (and 2,000-calore) Cinnabons and
$3.50 Pepsis out of waxy paper cups with cheap straws. They are not supposed to
be the site of full-scale holiday riots that see malls placed on lockdown and
police storming the Hot Dog on a Stick seating area with batons drawn and
pepper spray at the ready. Yet that is precisely what happened not once, but
twice over the weekend. First, the food court of Opry Mills Mall in
Nashville went ape-sh*t when a fight involving three juveniles sparked a much
bigger battle that saw mall security try its Paul Blart best to get the
situation under wraps before police arrived to quell the unrest. Officers
eventually had to force hundreds of people out of the mall, including one
teenager who was punched but ran off before medics could check on him. The
other two juveniles were taken into custody on unrelated outstanding warrants
and if this had been the only food court melee of the weekend, it might have
slipped under the radar. But less than 24 hours later the Chicago Ridge
mall in Illinois witnessed a melee for the ages, as the entire facility was
cleared amidst chaos that may have included shots being fired. Witness reported
police hurrying them out of the building and cell phone video from the scene shows
a teenager being detained by police. "Everyone was ducking around, running
everywhere," said witness Mohammed Abed. "I tried to go into
Victoria's Secret. The people who work there closed the gates so no one could
get in, so we were all ducking.” Well, at least we all gained something valuable
from this, namely the most original excuse yet for a dude trying to sneak into
Victoria’s Secret………..
- The Killers frontman Brandon Flowers and his bandmates
have donned hideous holiday attire and belted out charity Christmas singles for
nearly a decade, but the story behind the tradition wasn’t known until now. According
to Flowers, the habit of cranking out a Christmas ditty for a good cause began
innocently enough when his inherent rock star cool led him to turn down an
offer from U2 frontman Bono to do a song for a Gap commercial. "It really
started from being asked to do the Red campaign," Flowers said, alluding
to the AIDS charity that the tracks raise money for each year. "Bono asked
if I wanted to do a Gap ad. And at the time I was feeling too cool to do a Gap
ad, I guess. I'd probably do the ad now. December 1 was Aids Day, so I said,
'Instead of doing the Gap ad, why don't we give you a Christmas song?' And it's
become a tradition now." The first Christmas single was “A Great Big Sled”
back in 2006 and a different, quirky new one has dropped every year since then.
This year’s included an hilarious performance of “Joel the Lump of Coal,”
written with help from late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel. The Killers
initially sought to get Kimmel to "connect [them]" with Huey Lewis
after watching the Lewis-scored movie “Back to the Future.” Instead, Kimmel
responded with an offer of his own. e. "Jimmy came back and said, 'How
about we write a song together?' and somehow along the way, Huey lost his
involvement,” Flowers added. The result was good, even if it won't help a
frustrated Flowers motivate his bandmates toward his goal of being a bigger
rock band. "It is frustrating. People actually talk about how they don't
feel like they're adequate, and it's a big band. I don't feel like that,”
Flowers said. “I feel like I can do it.” Dream big, Brandon, dream big……..
- Congrats, Venezuela. You may be ruled by the governmental
bastard offspring of late despot Hugo Chavez and have little chance of ridding
yourselves of Nicolas Maduro any time soon, but at least you’re making a name
for your nation on the world stage. According to a non-governmental
group that tracks crime in Venezuela, the South American nation’s homicide rate
rose again in 2014, making the House that Hugo Built the definitive No. 2 in
the world homicide rankings. The Venezuelan Violence Observatory estimates that
24,980 killings occurred this year, boosting Venezuela’s numbers to an
impressive and mildly terrifying 82 per 100,000 inhabitants. The only real
regret here is that Venezuela didn’t do more to end the reign of Honduras,
which continues to lead the way even though everyone knows its numbers are
skewed due to a weak strength of schedule and its small size compared to other
nations that simply have too many people to efficiently murder in truly
senseless fashion. An optimist will argue that Venezuela improved its killing
proficiency from 79 killings per
100,000 people last year and has more than quadrupled that rate since a
slacker-tastic 1998 that saw its citizens commit a mere 19 homicides per
100,000 people. As would be expected, Venezuelan authorities generally dispute
the group's findings and claim crime is on the decline. That’s much easier to
say when most crime can be confined in poorer neighborhoods, but the truth is
that everyone is going to need to pitch in if Venezuela is going to overtake
Honduras next year………
No comments:
Post a Comment