Sunday, December 21, 2014

Strippers' holiday spirit, Riot Watch! Spain and the Clippers get technical with it


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! It was all but guaranteed when Spain’s legislature moronically and offensively passed a new law that sets hefty fines for offenses such as burning the national flag and demonstrating outside parliament buildings or strategic installations and so it happened Saturday that thousands of livid Spaniards protested in Spanish cities to attack the new Public Security Law. The law was approved last week by parliament and even before its passage, it was ripped by opposition parties and human rights groups as an attempt by the conservative government to muzzle protests over its handling of Spain's financial crisis. Those groups are right, of course, and that is precisely the reason for massive uprisings in cities such as Barcelona, Bilbao and Madrid, with smaller gatherings in secondary cities like Almeria, Granada and Valencia. Protestors donned tape covering their mouths and carried placards calling the measures a "gagging law,” which only seems like something that would happen in a Third World country run by a despot living in luxury with gold bathroom fixtures while his people suffer in abject poverty. But those are the breaks when you pass a new law allowing for fines of up to 30,000 euros ($37,000) for disseminating photographs of police officers that are deemed to endanger them or their operations. Those bold enough to rise up and speak out in demonstrations outside parliament buildings or key installations could be fined up to 600,000 euros ($745,000), if they are considered to breach the peace. Even insulting a police officer is deemed worthy of a fine of up to 600 euros ($745). Tied with the photography fine for biggest possible penalty is burning a national flag (30,000 euros). These protests were particularly fun because they were juxtaposed against Christmas shoppers passing by. Sadly, all of the demonstrations ended relatively peacefully………


- The Los Angeles Clippers are both a talented team and one guaranteed to deliver plenty of headlines. Those headlines, however, aren’t always the ones for which Los Angeles’ new favorite NBA team would like to be known. Take, for example, Friday night’s game in Denver. Not only did the Clippers lose to an inferior team on the road, but they did so by three points while giving away a sh*t load of charity tosses courtesy of the seven technical fouls for which they were called. The technicals weren't the result of any fights or ejection-worthy offenses, but they came nonetheless and after dropping a game they could ill afford to lose in the ultra-competitive Western Conference, they let the world know their displeasure. “It’s crazy,” said All-Star point guard Chris Paul, who was tagged with a technical foul in the second quarter for complaining. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Never. As someone who has been in this league for awhile, you’re supposed to be able to react, then calm down.” Teammate DeAndre Jordan claimed he only told an official that he was struck in the head and that was enough to earn him his technical foul. Head coach Doc Rivers received one of his own for arguing Jordan’s tech, but he didn’t bother arguing after Clippers reserve Hedo Turkoglu picked up a third technical from the bench for mildly lamenting a foul call. Three of the techs came in a single fourth-quarter sequence after Denver forward Kenneth Faried flagrantly fouled Jordan by hitting him in the head under the basket. Of course, once a team gets a reputation for being a group of troublemaking complainers, stopping the flow of technicals is even tougher, so lots of luck to the Clippers on this one………


- Score one for the skanks this holiday season. In Federal Heights, Colorado, the glorified hookers of the local strip club have the Christmas spirit in their hearts – located directly beneath the sequined bikini tops they’re about to remove – and that spirit earned them first place for the best holiday lighting display by a business. “It shows the pride we take in the community,” club owner Scott Reisch said. The city awarded Platinum 84 a $100 prize for placing first in the contest, although in an inexplicable oversight, the prize money was not stuffed into the G-strings of the strippers in $1 increments. The club actually made a smart public relations ploy by donating its winnings to a local food bank supported by the city and chipped off another $500 to bolster its donation. Accepting money from a strip club and doing so without rubber glovers and a gallon jug of hand sanitizer can be dicey, but Mayor Joyce Thomas chose to focus on the effort and decorating pinache displayed by the coke-addled stripping skanks rather than the other aspects of the situation. “Look at ‘em. They’re nice lights. They’ve been good neighbors. I’m sure the lighting brightens up the area. It really looks nice,” Thomas said. Oh, and because Federal Way isn't exactly Manhattan and doesn’t boast a thriving, big-city business community with tons of enthusiastic participants for its lighting contest, there were but three entries in the lighting category for businesses. Platinum 84 took part for the first time and while the mayor knows some might raise an eyebrow at the idea of Federal Heights awarding top holiday lighting honors to a strip club, she doesn’t give a damn. “I don’t have a problem with it,” Thomas stated succinctly………


- Well this shouldn’t be remotely inflammatory or offensive, which is kind of the point. An upcoming episode of Adult Swim cartoon “Black Dynamite” seems solely by its name to be incendiary in some sense, but adding the likes of Tyler, The Creator and Erykah Badu for appearances in an hour-long special focused on the subject of police brutality is both designed and guaranteed to ruffle many feathers. The episode is titled “The Wizard of Watts,” a direct reference to an always-dangerous section of Los Angeles. Its content will center on police brutality in the wake of civil unrest in the United States and one of the co-writers for the show explained the motivation behind it. "As a comedy writer, I feel it’s my job to make people laugh while using constructive social criticism to evoke thought and inspire dialogue," director and co-writer Carl Jones. It’s a lofty aim for an adult cartoon, as the world of adult cartoons is typically not the foremost forum for furthering important social debates for the masses. Along with Odd Future frontman Tyler, The Creator and Badum the episode will also include appearances from  'Curb Your Enthusiasm' actor J.B. Smoove and Tim Blake Nelson. Given the overly sensitive way in which Americans are reacting to anything even remotely Ferguson-scented these days, expect a swift and vitriolic reaction to this one and plenty of offensive remarks to be offered up by both fans and haters in the aftermath………

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