Friday, July 25, 2014

South American tea drama, Weird Al v. Prince and former MLBers turned misogynists


- Chuck Knoblauch just air-mailed another one. The former Minnesota Twins star, who famously hit such a funk late in his career that he couldn’t make a simple throw from second base to first base, retired from baseball in 2002 after a career than spanned 12 seasons, winning the 1991 American League Rookie of the Year award and four All-Star appearances with the Twins. He was to be inducted induction into the team's Hall of Fame on Aug. 23 at Target Field, but those plans have been axed after Knoblauch was arrested Wednesday night on charges that he allegedly assaulted his ex-wife.  That news was troubling for the Twins, so much so that they immediately announced that the induction ceremony had been canceled. After hearing the news, the Twins released a statement saying their decision was made "in light of recent news reports" and after "direct communication" with Knoblauch. Assume that direct communication entails the team calling this alleged domestic abuser and informing him in no uncertain terms that they wanted nothing to do with honoring a scumbag whose idea of conflict resolution is using his fists of fury to settle matters with ladies.  Knoblauch, 46, divorced Cheri Knoblauch in 2012 and this isn't his first time being on the police blotter for going MMA on a current or former lady love. He was convicted of hitting a previous wife in 2010 and sentenced to a year of probation, so applying the term misogynist to Knoblauch doesn’t seem like a tremendous stretch at this point. Hopefully the judge is more accurate throwing the book at him than Knoblauch was at chucking the ball to first base late in his career………. 


- Technology plays a big role in society every day, especially in a busy city like Boston. That doesn’t mean every problem needs to be solved by something high-tech, as evidenced by the city’s approach to clearing open space in Hyde Park. The temptation might be to bring in a zero-turn mower and whip around a few times, mowing the foliage down to a manageable height. That is one possible solution, but it’s not the one the Boston Department of Parks and Recreation chose. When faced with an area clogged with weeds and poison ivy, parks department officials turned to a group of four-legged, shaggy and ill-tempered workers who don’t complain about lunch breaks and overtime. Yes, goats were the answer. A team of goats were brought to the park to help tame the poison ivy and other weeds on the Fairmount Greenway. “They're definitely eating the poison ivy and they’re also clearing the area. So it's like having an entire team of volunteers over here 24 hours a day,” parks department employee Chris Cook said. “When it's clear and open we'll provide some accessibility to it because this is a beautiful spot right on the Neponset River.” The plan is for the goats to work on the affected area for eight weeks and they goats will be fenced in with a solar powered electric fence and experts say that should keep wolves and coyotes away. The idea came from the Hyde Park and Roslindale Eco Team, a group of young people dedicated to providing environmentally-friendly ways to solve problems. The city used a $2,800 grant to hire the goats from a local landscaping company and thankfully, goats are unaffected by poison ivy……….


- No one ever accused Prince of having a sense of humor. “Weird” Al Yankovic confirmed as much as he promoted his new release “Mandatory Fun,” which somehow managed to top the charts and give the parody specialist the first-ever No. 1 album in his career on the U.S. charts. Yankovic, who has built an entire career off of doing spoofs of mainstream pop songs, launched his chart-topping album with parodies of Iggy Azalea's 'Fancy' ('Handy'), Lorde's 'Royals' ('Foil'), Robin Thicke's 'Blurred Lines' ('Word Crimes") and Pharrell Williams' 'Happy' ('Tacky') and all of the artists spoofed on the album gave permission to do so. "I ask permission from every artist to parody their song. Legally I don't have to but I want them to be in on the joke, not just to turn on the radio one day and be like, 'What?'" Yankovic said. However, he has had no success over the years in attempting to convince the Bizarre One to allow him to do a parody of one of his songs despite numerous attempts to do so. "I've asked Prince several times, he's the only one to turn me down,” Yankovic added. “All throughout the '80s I asked him – I had ideas for 'Kiss' and 'When Doves Cry' but his management turned me down every time. I still hold out hope – if he had another big hit of course I'd want to do my own version." The final words of that statement, subtly musing that if Prince “had another big hit” is both funny and cutting, given that the man who was once known merely by a symbol has faded from the mainstream musical consciousness and at this point is best known for bitchin’ house parties in which people are forced to dress in pajamas or be rejected entry to the festivities. Maybe Yankovic can do an ‘80s throwback album and convince Prince to reverse field and grant permission for his music to be used……..


- The sh*t just got real in South America. Uruguay's president is thirsty…thirsty for a traditional tea known as yerba mate (mah-tay). However, President Jose Mujica’s hankering for this specific type of tea is going unfulfilled because the primary source just cannot keep up with the demand. That source would be Paraguayan yerba mate, who say the president has asked for more of the traditional tea for his country and is asking them to fill the need at a lower price. That’s right, this power-hungry despot is not only demanding that a foreign country give him more of the tea he loves, but he is leaning on them to give him a sizeable discount on top of it. How far has this situation gone? Far enough that Mujica recently visited Uruguay and met with the farmers to complain about what he feels are the exorbitant prices that other regional countries charge for the commodity. Farmer Nestor Goralewski was one of those who had the misfortune to be cornered by Mujica and have to listen to his complaints that the $10 that Brazil charges for about 2 pounds (1 kilogram) of the herb makes it too expensive for most Uruguayans. As Mujica noted in his whining session, the same amount of tea is sold in Paraguay for half the price. Amazingly, begging for more tea at a cheaper price may actually work. Local growers say they have more than enough mate to satisfy Paraguayans and can increase exports to Uruguay, so perhaps this tale of South American tea lust will have itself a happy ending after all……..

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