- Getting drunk remains ridiculously expensive, but it’s a
more direct proposition these days at Target
Field. Thanks to a new invention called DraftServ, the loudmouthed beer vendor has
been removed from the equation of paying $10 for a cup of watered-down alcohol
at a Major League Baseball game. DraftServ is a self-serve beer station
installed at the park just in time for MLB’s All-Star festivities next week.
The machines are a partnership between concessionaire Delaware North and
Anheuser-Busch and both sides know what a gold mine they have on their hands. "It's
a way to engage with the customer and allows the fan to have greater control of
what they're drinking," said Jerry Jacobs Jr., principal of Delaware
North, whose Sportservice controls the concessions at 10 baseball stadiums.
Obviously, the arrangement can't be as simple as sliding a credit card through
a slot and dispensing as much beer as a some cheap seat-dwelling drunk wants
and sure enough, there’s more to it. Fans attending Twins games can now go to a
cash register, show their ID and preload a card with $10, 20 or – for those who
may want five whole beers - $50 for the All-Star Game only. Once they’ve forked
over several hours of income for wildly overpriced beer, fans can scan their
card at the DraftServ machine, choose between four different beers and
determine how much they want. According to Jacobs, . Bud and Bud Light will
cost 38 cents per ounce, while Shock Top Lemon Shandy and Goose Island 312
Urban Pale Ale will cost 40 cents per ounce. "There's obviously some
novelty value to this, but it also allows people to pour what they want,"
Jacobs said. "If they want half of a cup, that's all they will pay
for." The limit is 48 ounces of beer every 15 minutes, which is enough for
both a nice buzz and an empty wallet……….
- Redneck weddings are rarely dull. Toronto, Kan. residents
and now-newlyweds Jared Baylor and Taylor Ratcliff proved that point emphatically over the
weekend at the 2014 Toronto's Days Mud Run. The middle-of-nowhere festival,
which takes places east of Wichita and squarely in the center of Flyover-ville,
America, is all about mud. However, its fun and games are rarely about
matrimony. That changed Sunday with the surprise nuptials between these two
crazy kids, who are both avid mud boggers – whatever the hell that means – and they
decided to get married doing what they love. What that meant was Baylor driving
his truck down into the mud pit that serves as the center of the festival’s fun
and stopping his dirty drive halfway across. The plot was a surprise, so no one
in thw audience knew what was happening at that point. That’s when Baylor and
Ratcliff pulled their surprise, exchanging their vows using words of wisdom and
love from 1 Corinthians 13, also known as the Love Chapter in the Bible. Ratcliff
hitched up her gown and climbed over into the cab of the truck and the
proceedings rumbled smoothly along. The entire ceremony lasted a mere 10
minutes, which is good because people whose idea of fun is running, wrestling,
diving and playing in mud are rarely in the mood to sit on their hands for too
long. Eventually, the presiding minister got to the point and pronounced the
couple husband and wife. The crowd erupted in cheers and off went the Baylors,
starting their new life together in all of their mud-caked glory. One can only
imagine hours of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Larry the Cable Guy and monster truck rallies
in their future………
- The holy battle between the pope and the mafia is heating
up. The pontiff fired the first major shot by denouncing corruption in Italy’s
banking system and excommunicating mobsters who he said are not following the
way of God, but the embattled mafia bosses in Pope Francis’ crosshairs aren't conceding
this war just yet. They have yet to take a direct show at the pope, but an
attempt at a thinly veiled attack on the Catholic Church’s leading man is at
the midst of an investigation launched by Italian anti-mafia police.
Investigators launched the inquest after a religious procession in a southern
Italian town detoured to pay tribute to a local mobster, in apparent defiance
of Pope Francis. The display took place in Oppido Mamertina, a Calabrian town
considered a stronghold of the 'Ndrangheta crime syndicate, and the reason for
the drama is mob boss Giuseppe Mazzagatti being held under house arrest. During
the procession, the men carrying a statue of the Madonna bent down to make the
effigy bow to the building, seeming to give a collective nod to the imprisoned crime
figure. It came less than a month after the Argentine pontiff visited Calabria
and showed the authoritative kahones to deliver a scathing diatribe on the
mafia for its "adoration of evil" and wrapping up his rant by
dropping the axe of excommunication on the evil men he wants to keep as far
away from the church as possible. Police are now investigating possible
collusion between the leaders of the procession and Mazzagatti, who is serving
a life sentence under house arrest for health reasons. Local police videotaped
the procession and the outlook isn't goof for the Mazzagatti sympathizers. "Whoever
made the Madonna bow has committed a double sin," said Nunzio Galantino,
head of the Italian Episcopal conference. “It twisted the sense of the
procession. It's absurd. The Madonna can bow to poverty, to those in need, in
front of a sincere conversion, but not in subjugation to a delinquent."
Within the parlance of the Catholic Church, excommunicated individuals are expelled
from the Church unless they repent and are considered to be condemned to hell
in the afterlife. No symbolic bow from a statue is believed to change that fate
in the realm ruled by the pope……..
- Don’t f*ck with a classic. Someone should tell the uptight
Brits at the Children’s BBC that tinkering with an iconic show – even for the
sake of a modernized reboot – is a terrible idea because none of the suits at
the network seems to realize it as it pertains to their plan to bring back
famed 1980s cartoon “Danger Mouse.” Reviving Danger Mouse’s heroic existence is
a fine enough concept, but not when you’re completing changing major parts of
the story. According to CBBC officials, the remake will change the sex of a number of characters
in an effort to get more female characters on TV. A noble aim, possibly, but
utterly clunky and ridiculous nonetheless. You’re not really remaking “Danger
Mouse” so much as using the rough outline of what the show used to be and
unapologetically bastardizing it in the name of modern gender role fairness. "Characters
that might have been male in the past will now be female characters," CBBC
controller Cheryl Taylor said during a speech about the show at the Children’s
Media Conference in Sheffield, England. "I still feel the default tendency
is for there to be a male lead or a male presenter. We felt that the redesign
stayed truthful both to the essence of Danger Mouse as we knew and loved him,
but also brought something new for the youth of today.” Stayed truthful? How?
By completely changing the basic format of the show so you can feel better
about using cartoons to promote gender equality to kids who don’t really give a
damn whether a mouse is a boy or a girl? Not only will certain characters get
digital gender reassignment surgery, but Danger Mouse's iconic eye patch will
be replaced by an "i-patch" with multiple technological functions
while his headquarters boast "state-of-the-art wizardry." Keep at it,
CBBC, and this is going to be a train wreck times ten………
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