Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Someone in Colorado hates pot, Black Keys vs. Bieber and Moldova grows a pair


- Has Moldova finally grown a pair? Perhaps so after the eastern European nation’s kahones-rocking said his country will exercise its "sovereign right" and sign an association agreement with the 28-nation European Union despite external political and economic pressures. Without saying to whom he was referring, President Nicolae Timofti announced plans to sign the accord despite the fact that Russia opposes Moldova seeking that deal with the EU, which Chisinau hopes to sign this year. Not referring to Russia directly was a not-so-subtle maneuver and one that could portend difficult days (#wewillinvadeyouoncewearedonewithukraine) ahead for a country that is a mere fraction of Russia’s mammoth size. In the past, Moscow has taken punitive trade measures against neighboring Baltic states and as noted, Ukraine, as those countries were selfish enough to actually think of their own interests as independent nations and not the oppressive, communist-leaning hell hole to which they once belonged. Timofti met with NATO Deputy Secretary-General Alexander Vershbow and after hearing NATO’s offer to consolidate security in Moldova, a neutral state, Timofti moved forward with plans to sign the deal. It’s worth noting that relations between Moldova and Russia have been strained for a while now and only grew worse after Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin's plane was held up while traveling in the region last weekend. Provoking Russia twice in the span of a single month is typically enough to compel a shirtless Vladimir Putin to mount his mighty stallion of justice and come rushing across your border, but Moldova still deserves plenty of credit for doing what’s right for itself without regard for Moscow’s feelings on the subject………


- Coaching sans the greatest basketball player in the world didn’t go so well for two-time-former Cleveland Cavaliers head coach Mike Brown. Brown's second shot with the Cavaliers lasted one season and ended Monday when bombastic owner Dan Gilbert dropped the hammer on him following a 33-49 season. The Cavs made two big trades for proven veterans during the season and hoped building around rising star Kyrie Irving would at least yield a playoff berth this season, but they never made a serious run at the postseason. "This is a very tough business,'' Gilbert said in a statement. "It pains all of us here that we needed to make the difficult decision of releasing Mike Brown. Mike worked hard over this last season to move our team in the right direction. Although there was some progress from our finish over the few prior seasons, we believe we need to head in a different direction. We wish Mike and his family nothing but the best.” Hiring Brown a second time never really made sense because in between stops in C-Town, he was an abject disappointment heading up the Los Angeles Lakers and is known for his severe limitations as an offensive coach. He was axed last year by the Los Angeles Lakers just five games into his second season and his performace this season would seem to suggest that he’s not a great coach at this point. Oh, and there is also the fact that LeBron James is about to become a free agent again and while his return to Cleveland seems incredibly unlikely, he reportedly is not a huge fan of Brown’s approach and firing Brown in favor of a name that appeals more to LBJ might be Gilbert’s last-ditch attempt to woo back his city’s departed star. Brown seemed to know the firing was coming and was asked after the final game of the season what he thought about his immediate future with the team.  "It's his team,'' Brown said of Gilbert. Yes, and for the second time in four years, it’s Brown’s former team………..


- Science has ridden to the rescue again. In case the world didn’t know – possibly because it has been painting in one too many poorly ventilated rooms with lead paint – a new study led by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health has re-revealed the shocking truth that people who are exposed to paint, glue or degreaser fumes at work may experience memory and thinking problems decades after the exposure. "Our findings are particularly important because exposure to solvents is very common, even in industrialized countries like the United States," said study author Erika L. (Black?) Sabbath. Black Sabbath’s study involved 2,143 retirees from Electricite de France, a French utility company, whom she and her team analyzed in terms of the workers’ lifetime exposure to chlorinated solvents, petroleum solvents, and benzene. Benzene is used to make plastics, rubber, dye, detergents and other synthetic materials. Chlorinated solvents are common ingredients in dry cleaning solutions, engine cleaners, paint removers and degreasers, while petroleum solvents are used in carpet glue, furniture polishes, paint, paint thinner and varnish. The fortunate French fellas in this study were exposed to plenty of nasty stuff. A solid 26 percent of them were exposed to benzene, 33 percent to chlorinated solvents and 25 percent to petroleum solvents. They underwent weight cognitive and memory tests as part of the study, each 10 years after they had retired, when they were an average age of 66. A disturbing 59 percent showed some level of impairment on three or fewer of the tests, 23 percent were impaired on four or more and just 18 percent were clean. Participants were also ranked in terms of exposure level and sorted out by when the last exposure occurred. Predictably, those with high, recent exposure to chlorinated solvents were 65 percent more likely to have impaired scores on tests of memory and visual attention and task switching than those who were not exposed to solvents. “The people with high exposure within the last 12 to 30 years showed impairment in almost all areas of memory and thinking, including those not usually associated with solvent exposure," (Black) Sabbath said. No kidding, Mensa………


- The Black Keys are riding high and have established themselves as bonafide, world-famous rock stars. Of course, drummer Patrick Carney didn’t need any rock star certification before he was willing to light up Canadian pop singing hack/dude-desperately-trying-to-be-a-badass-by-getting-lots-of-tattoos-and-arrests Justin Bieber. The two of them – Carney with his actual musical talent and Bieber with his complete lack thereof – have been trading barbs for months now. Carney lit Bieber up after the Keys won their first Grammy in 2013, when he said, "Grammys are for music, not for the money, and he's making a lot of money. He should be happy.” Bieber took great offense with someone telling the truth about him and told his Twitter followers that the drummer should be "slapped around.” Carney, like anyone who dares to attack a popular-yet-terrible pop star, saw the outpouring of wrath on Twitter from Bieber’s devoted fan of tone-dead teenage and pre-teen fans. "I just started getting called a faggot, you know? All these kids who don't know what they're saying are saying all of these things that are actually wildly inappropriate. And these kids are just dumbasses," Carney sad. "I'm saying that he should be grateful that he has a f*cking career in music. And he shouldn't be f*cking telling his followers to slap me, and then also be doing anti-bullying bullsh*t. It's so irresponsible." All are fair points, which means they clearly have no place in this particular argument. Carney and bandmate Dan Auerbach should simply rest content in the knowledge that they are right and that their new album, “Turn Blue,” is light years better than anything the Biebs will ever craft……..


- Wait….someone in Colorado doesn’t like ganja? Sadly, this appears to be true. Cure Organic Farm, a place where children come for education and a healthy dose of anti-pot bias, is located in Boulder County and directly adjacent to the spot where a 16,000 square-foot greenhouse may be built to grow marijuana. Farm owner Paul Cure is leading a fight against an operation that will bring both much-needed commerce and what could be some sweet-ass dank to the area and he has his reasons – however indefensible they may be. “The main reason is that the applicant is a person who is under federal investigation and his last operation was raided by federal agents,” Cure said. Pantera Properties is listed as the applicant property owner and someone named Laszlo Bagi has his name on the application as the person seeking the right to build his new pot paradise. Technically, Bagi was also listed last November as one of the targets of a federal investigation involving Colorado’s marijuana industry. His property was raided, but so far he has not been charged. Fortunately for fans of the hippie lettuce, Boulder County Land Use Department Director Dale Case said the greenhouse review does not include the applicant’s background. “It looks at the merits of the project, it’s a land use review, looks at the land use impacts of that proposal,” Case said. Other property owners in the area have rallied behind Cure and several have cited the smell that would waft from the greenhouse. As for Cure, he is of the ill-informed opinion that a farm with roosters, pigs and visiting children does not belong next to a ganja greenhouse. In truth, he may be right, which is why it could be time for Cure Organic Farm and its hippie-loving organic ways to find a new home………

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