Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers comeback, German neo-Nazi detergent and Michael Jackson wrecks Fulham FC

-->
- The moment overgrown children everywhere have been waiting for over the past 17 years is finally here. Yes, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are returning to the big screen in a new live action film. The last time the cartoonish heroes in their color-coordinated jumpsuits made an appearance on the big screen was 1997 in "Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie.” That cinematic classic was the sequel to "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie" in 1995 and as anyone with a VHS tape of one of those film fiascos can attest, they are the sort of movie fare that is difficult to forget. Lionsgate and Saban Brands announced this week that the Power Rangers franchise is on the comeback trail, continuing the franchise that began with a children’s television series that launched more than 20 years ago and has been running in some form continuously since that time. "The new film franchise will re-envision the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, a group of high school kids who are infused with unique and cool super powers but must harness and use those powers as a team if they have any hope of saving the world,” the studio said in a written release. The release didn’t offer up many details or lay out any sort of timeline for the new movie. It likewise did not explain how the plot for the project – and yes, there are plots for these masterpieces – would fit into the overarching Power Rangers mythology. However, fans can revel in the knowledge that the studio is aware of the franchise’s “deep and detailed mythology,” which could just as easily mean they have no intention of honoring it. Regardless, loyal fans/dorks will surely rally behind this idea and waste plenty of disposable cash seeing it and buying the corresponding merchandise………




- Look at the U.S. Navy, leading the way for the tech world….by setting it back a decade. Knowing its sailors need ways to entertain themselves on the high seas but also realizing that any Internet-connected device is a chance to be hacked and expose sensitive data to prying eyes, the Navy has unveiled an e-reader sailors could use while deployed at sea without the fear of being hacked by enemies. Electronic devices like the Kindle and iPad are not allowed on submarines because of their vulnerability to hackers and the Navy even discourage the use of e-readers at sea because no Wi-Fi means no way to access new content. Trying wireless Internet on submarines and ships typically doesn’t work well out in the middle of the ocean, so the Navy asked digital technology producer Findaway World two years ago to create the Navy eReader Device, or "NeRD" for short. The NeRD is now ready to go and while it wouldn’t appeal much to land dwellers because it has no ports, card readers, cellular connectivity or Wi-Fi connectivity, it will work for the Navy’s purposes of keeping sailors entertained without creating an opening for hackers. Better still, the NeRD comes with 300 preloaded e-books out of the Navy's digital library of 108,000. That is less than 3 percent of the library, but Ralph Lazaro, Findaway World's vice president of digital products, noted that it will help lessen the load created by the high number of hard copies of books that currently reside aboard naval vessels. "I know the paperbacks (on Navy ships) get passed back and forth until they fall apart. We're hoping the NeRD holds up a little better,” Navy General Library program assistant Nilya Carrato said. The NeRD is preloaded with a mix of books from different genres, including fiction, nonfiction, historical books and classics. Among them are George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" novel series, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," "Ender's Game," "The Lord of the Rings," "The Stand" and "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks." The Navy will initially distribute five NeRDs to each of the submarines in its active fleet. Happy reading, sailors………




- Every family has one. You know them. We all know them and we all wish they would shut up, sit down and stay out of the way because they are the person who embarrasses the entire family by saying the wrong thing or simply being such a colossal idiot that everyone else in the clan wants to pretend they’re adopted or legally disown them. For most families, this isn't a huge problem because they don’t have their family idiot embarrass them on national television while some former sitcom star clowns them with a stick microphone from a few feet away. Meet Anna Sass, whose family appeared this week on the daytime game show Family Feud, hosted by actor and comedian Steve Harvey. The Sass family bested some other SoCal vacationers to win the preliminary round and went on to the Fast Money round, in which two family members independently answer five random questions asked to 100 strangers and must combine for 200 points (1 point per respondent who gives each answer the constants come up with) to win $20,000. After her partner scored 182 points, Anna needed only 18 to secure the big payday. “How many points do you need?” Harvey asked. “I need 18,” Anna correctly replied. Given the answers that followed, the real miracle is that she actually did that math correctly. When asked, “What chance do you have of dating a girl who's a 10?”,  she chose the nice, round number of 4 percent. To the question of where people keep checking their watch, she chose a restaurant. The third question was to name a noisy insect and the razor-sharp Anna chose to pass. For the fourth question of something a person’s belly does, she answered, “Throw up.” For the fifth and final query, “A married couple might be deeply in [what]?”, her answer was, “Marriage.” Those answers netted her a grand total of zero points, a new record low for the show and pathetic enough that Harvey should have given her a $20 bill from his pocket out of sheer pity. Nice effort, Mensa………




- Fulham FC's 14-year stay in the Premier League came to an end last week as the English club officially lost any chance of finishing high enough to avoid relegation. It has been a disappointing season for the club, which has a 9-24-4 record in Premier play and has fallen short of virtually every reasonable expectation for their performance. With the team he used to own now staring down the barrel of relegation and an angry mob/fan base demanding answers, former Fulham owner Mohamed Al Fayed believes he knows why the club is in a free fall. The reason is simple: the removal of his Michael Jackson statue. That’s right, the much-lambasted statue was commissioned by Al Fayed and installed at the back of the Hammersmith Stand in 2011. Al Fayed had the horrific art made because he was a friend of Jackson and the singer even paid a visit to Craven Cottage when he attended a match between Fulham and Wigan in 1999. However, when he sold the team to Pakistan-born tycoon Shad Khan, Al Fayed was told the statue didn’t measure up to whatever standards the new owner had and would be removed. When the topic came up of Fulham falling out of the Premier League, Al Fayed had his statue theory locked and loaded. "This statue was a charm and we removed the luck from the club and now we have to pay the price,” he said. “When [Khan] asked me to move it I said, 'You must be crazy.’ This is such a fantastic statue which the fans are crying out for. "But now he has paid the price because the club has been relegated. He called me because he told me he wanted Michael to return. I told him, no way.” Oh no, he didn’t. Al Fayed did NOT just claim that Khan begged to have the statue back only to be stoned in a delicious blast of karma….but he did. Sadly, Al Fayed actually seems to believe in his own kook-tastic theory and that’s the most depressing part of all of this………




- Well played, Procter & Gamble. Part of doing business in foreign countries is understanding the culture and history of those countries well enough that you don’t inadvertently piss off millions of people with a packaging or advertising malapropos that you totally should have seen coming. It’s also a part of business that clearly escaped the detergent manufacturer when it designed the promotional packages for Ariel washing powder. Whichever advertising agency wizard the company contracted to design the packaging came up with a layout featuring a large number "88" on a white soccer jersey. That’s a problem because neo-Nazis often try to circumvent a national ban on the use of Nazi slogans in public by using codes. The über-clever extremist bigots use "88" to represent the phrase "Heil Hitler," because "H'' is the eighth letter of the alphabet. Similarly, "18" is used to stand for "A.H." or Adolf Hitler. By dropping a seemingly innocuous soccer jersey with a random number on it on the side of a box and allowing images of that box to show up online, Procter & Gamble has enraged thousands of outraged consumers who took to social media sites to excoriate the company for its ignorance. Doing the only thing an embarrassed corporate titan can do in such situations, Procter & Gamble acknowledged Friday that the number was "unintentionally ambiguous." Spokeswoman Melanie Schnitzler said the company has stopped shipping the offending boxes along with a liquid detergent that was being promoted as "Ariel 18." A cynic might argue that it’s an awfully big coincidence that the company chose two numbers to tie to the product that both have direct links to neo-Nazi groups, but no one is that devious and evil. Just kidding………


No comments: