Sunday, May 25, 2014

Pat Sajak v. the world, Bulls 1 Humans 0 and drunken Fox News conserva-Nazi anchors


- So…..how about those conservative stalwarts at Fox News? These conserva-Nazis bristle at the slightest suggestion that they aren’t wholesome, upright defenders of all that is right and good about America, so how on Earth are they going to reconcile the recent actions of anchor Gregg Jarrett with all that Fox News stands for? Jarrett was recently passing through Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport when his travel adventure went sideways in a big way. According to airport spokesman Patrick Hogan, Jarrett was "belligerent and uncooperative" with police officers who responded to a report Wednesday that he was drunk at an airport bar. Getting drunk at an airport bar is such a terrible cliché that it’s almost sad, but watching a drunken Fox News anchor brawl with airport security had to be an entertaining sight for Jarrett’s fellow travelers – or at least it would have been if any of them had any idea who he was. Instead, he was likely just that drunk old man that everyone else in the bar was working really hard to keep their distance from. Jarrett was arrested on charges of interfering with a police officer and spent a dozen hours in jail. He was released from the Hennepin County Jail on a $300 bond early Thursday, according to jail records. He’s now staring down a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of the legal process and interfering with a peace officer, but this is far from a surprising development. Fox News announced on May 12 that Jarrett was taking time off from his weekend anchor duties on Fox after reportedly asking the network for time off for personal reasons. "He is dealing with serious personal issues at this time," Fox News said in a statement. "A date at which Gregg might return to air has yet to be determined.” In other words, we’ll let you know when we find an optimal time to fire him……… 


- The race to own the Los Angeles Clippers has apparently added some very tall and athletic men. While Hollywood A-listers like Oprah Winfrey and Frankie Muniz have indicated their interest in owning the franchise when world-class racist/bigot/all-around piece of sh*t Donald Sterling finally puts it on the market – voluntarily or not – there is no question that former NBA stars will be in the long line of those wanting to pay ten figures to buy the Clippers. Magic Johnson has already shown an interest in being an owner and now, he will have to do battle with the likes of former NBA All-Stars Grant Hill and Yao Ming. Both Hill, who is just completing his first year in retirement after a 19-season career that ended with the Clippers, and Yao are reportedly working to line up investors for a bid once Donald and Shelly Sterling capitulate and put the Clips on the open market. Neither Hill nor Yao are as far removed from their respective playing careers as Johnson and haven’t had the chance to build a successful business empire the way he has, including a partial ownership stake in the Los Angeles Dodgers. Thus, both need to compile a consortium of likeminded folks willing to throw in with them on their bid. Yao’s interest is particularly intriguing given the NBA’s focus on building its brand globally. His investment group would presumably consist of Chinese investors, which would make perfect sense in the context of the NBA’s global philosophy. Yao previously made a run at purchasing the Milwaukee Bucks, but they were ultimately sold to Wesley Edens and Marc Lasry for a purchase price of $550 million. Most observers expect the Clippers to retail for three times that price, so whoever wins this bidding process will make one of the most expensive purchases possible on the planet………


- It’s nice to see the animal kingdom score a win against stupid humans every now and then. At Spain's top annual bullfighting festival, the two-horned quadrupeds have claimed victory over the two-legged kind. Credit goes to the first two bulls into the ring, which combined to gore or otherwise incapacitate three bullfighters, putting them out of action, and forcing authorities to suspend a bullfight at the San Isidro Festival in Madrid for the first time in 35 years. The Las Ventas bullring was packed by a sold-out crowd of 24,000 and with a national television audience looking on, the first bull, weighing just over half a ton gored the first bullfighter, David Mora, in the left leg. Mora was carted off for treatment, but the rules demand that the bull must die and so into the ring came the second bullfighter, Antonio Nazare, who finished him off. A second bull, even heavier at 1,100 pounds, entered to face the third bullfighter, Saul Jimenez Fortes. Nazare, who as second bullfighter on the card would normally have faced the second bull, exercised his right to step in and replaced Jimenez in the ring. That proved to be a fatal error, as the bull heat-buttled Nazare so hard in the knees that he had to be carted off to the on-site infirmary. Jimenez was the last bullfighter standing and he was the only one left to enter the ring and do battle with the second bull. He tried to move in for the kill, but the bull stopped him by goring him in the right leg. Somehow, Jimenez stayed on his feet and managed to deliver a kill shot. It was at that point that Jimenez joined his colleagues in the infirmary. With four bulls left on the card and no one insane enough to fight them, authorities called off the rest of the scheduled bouts. Here’s hoping that the rest of the San Isidro festival, named for Madrid's patron saint, goes better. The festival continues until June 8 and has 31 scheduled fights. The real winners for the day were the four bulls that didn’t have to fight. They were returned to their ranches, safe and sound……..


- Pat Sajak has a definite capacity to be an intolerable asshole. He is, after all, the man who once jerked with a “Wheel of Fortune” contestant panel comprised of military members by repeatedly turning away soldiers and sailors who knew the correct answer to a pop culture puzzle but could not correctly pronounce the names of Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa. But it’s on Twitter where the aging game show host does most of his damage these days and while it is virtually impossible to discern what the hell he’s saying much of the time, it is nonetheless entertaining to watch the steam pour from Sajak’s ears as he rants and raves about various matters that catch his attention. His latest rant was more puzzling than any of the messages he’s asked contestants to solve while standing beside a spinning wheel of cash and prizes. “I now believe global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends. Good night,” Sajak tweeted. Cryptic….with a dose of irrational and a dash of persecution complex. On the surface, it seems Sajak is merely espousing the right-wing view that global warming is a lie and yet, what the hell does patriotism or racism have to do with any of it? At last check, global warming believes are from virtually all races and ethnic backgrounds. Sajak then mocked the supposed reactionary viewpoints of those who disagree with him, tweeting, “Very hot weather: ‘We're all going to die!’ Very cold weather: ‘There's a difference between climate & weather, moron!’” Duly noted, moron……..


- Who made the list this year? No, not People magazine's Most Beautiful List. Not even Maxim’s Hot 100 list. No, the list that has animal lovers worldwide peaking on passion for the world’s most intriguing critters is the International Institute for Species Exploration’s top 10 of nearly 18,000 new species named in the previous year. An international committee made up of scientists and experts linked to the State University of New York's College of Environmental Science and Forestry compiled the list and released it Friday to celebrate the birthday of 18th-century Swedish botanist Carolus Linnaeus, who is considered the father of modern taxonomy. It is "a way to call attention to species that are going extinct faster than they are being identified," the institute said in a written release. The cuddliest inclusion on this year’s list is the olinguito, a small mammal with fluffy red-orange fur, a short bushy tail, and an adorable, rounded face. It is a member of the raccoon family and it is the first mammalian carnivore species to be newly identified in the Americas in 35 years, according to Kristofer Helgen, curator of mammals at the Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History. Olinguitos were previously classified as members of their sister species, the olingos, following their discovery in August. The more the panel studied them, the more they noticed that olingos are larger, less furry and have longer faces than the newly discovered species. The olinguito primarily dines on fruits, but also consumes insects and nectar and is primarily nocturnal. At about 2 feet long from nose to tail, it weights a mere 2 pounds and is a little smaller than a house cat. Other entries on the list included: Kaweesak's Dragon Tree (Thailand), Anemonel (Antarctica), Skeleton Shrimp (California), Orange Penicillium (Tunisia) and the Leaf-tailed Gecko (Australia)………

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