Saturday, January 25, 2014

The FDA helps idiots, Detroit hearts immigrants and Yankees-Red Sox spending smack


- Why is one of the most successful indie rock veterans still active on the music scene aspiring to be like pop music hacks Taylor Swift and Katy Perry? Stephen Malkmus, the frontman for iconic indie act Pavement and the current ring leader for Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, has dubiously admitted that the lyrics to his band’s new track “Lariat” are influenced by him trying to write like Swift and Perry. He was asked about the significance of the line, “We grew up listening to the music of the best decade ever,” and stupidly said that the words were influenced by him “trying to write something that Taylor Swift would write, or maybe even more Katy Perry.” As every Pavement fan reached for a trash can or sought out a toilet in which to vomit, Malkmus explained further a statement that never should have happened. “I was thinking in wide ways. For me I'm a seventies guy, and sometimes when you're in your early adolescence or when the chicks are just a little older, and kind of out of your reach, they're the ones you sort of like at that young age. Seventies chicks and seventies rock,” Malkmus said. Nice try, Steve. In the span of a few seconds, your words wrecked not only your band’s new album – “Wig Out at Jagbags” – and also invalidated the love for rising indie favorites Parquet Courts and Joanna Gruesome that Malkmus went on to express. Even seemingly innocuous comments about discovering new music and enjoying songs more on YouTube and not being a fan of Twitter, Facebook or music streaming services such as Spotify suddenly became downright offensive when they are uttered by a man who aspires to write like two of the most fabricated pop creations in recent memory……….


- Well done, anonymous South African diamond mine worker. You discovered one of the rarest and most coveted in the world with a possible price tag of tens of millions of dollars and for that, you get nothing beyond your normal paycheck. The unidentified mine worker found the 29.6-carat blue diamond at a South African mine near Pretoria owned by Petra Diamonds. While small enough to fit into the palm of a hand, it is one of the largest found at the Cullinan mine since the famed Cullinan Diamond was found in 1905 - described as the largest rough gem diamond ever recovered and weighing 3,106 carats. That growing list includes a 25.5-carat Cullinan blue diamond, found in 2013 and sold for $16.9 million, and a diamond found in 2008, known as the Star of Josephine, which was sold for $9.49 million. Petra Diamonds CEO Johan Dippenaar is already hyping up the new find, suggesting it could best the price of many massive diamonds found at the mine before it. "By some margin ... this is probably the most significant stone we've ever, in terms of blue stones, recovered," Dippenaar said. "The stones in the last year or so are selling well above $2 million per carat. That's not my quote, that's updates in the market.” Although the specifics of the diamond are still being fleshed out, some experts have speculated that it could fetch between $15 million and $20 million at auction. The Cullinan mine has yielded diamonds that have been displayed at London's Buckingham Palace and are regarded as among the rarest and most valuable in the world. The most famous of the lot, the 1905 Cullinan Diamond, has been cut into two stones - the First Star of Africa and the Second Star of Africa - that form part of Britain's Crown Jewels held in the Tower of London. Dippenaar said the company would decide what to do with the new diamond in the next week………


- The calendar changes, but the bizarre and ironically hilarious sight of two of baseball’s highest-spending teams b*tching at one another over their overpaying ways never does. The Boston Red Sox are Major League Baseball’s defending champions and the archrival New York Yankees are eager to rebound after missing the playoffs, leading the Bronx Bombers to throw nearly $500 million at new players this winter. It’s akin to the winter after the 2008 season, when a failed run at a title led the Yankees to sign CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira. With that trio in tow, New York rebounded to win the World Series in 2009 and they are clearly hoping that inking Jacoby Ellsbury, Brian McCann, Carlos Beltran and Japanese import Masahiro Tanaka to half a billion dollars in contracts will repeat that feat. Just don’t expect Red Sox CEO Larry Lucchino to be impressed. "It's like 'Back To The Future,' is my sense," Lucchino said. "I've seen this movie before. Anything that can be done that increases the intensity of the rivalry, as this certainly does, I think is positive -- as long as it doesn't go so far as to give them the advantage." Not to be outdone, Lucchino insisted he and fellow Sox owners John W. Henry and Tom Werner are just as committed to winning as the Yankees. It rings true, given that the Red Sox have spent just as freely as the Yankees in recent years. Winning two titles in the past decade provides more leeway for a franchise that went eight decades without one. Lucchino noted that the Dodgers are following the same game plan as the Yankees, but was adamant that his team would not follow suit. He can say that now, but if the Red Sox fall to the middle of the American League pack next season and need a jolt, don’t be stunned if they start handing out deals like the seven-year, $142 million contract they doled out to failed free-agent signing Carl Crawford in 2010 or the seven-year, $154 million deal they gave to Adrian Gonzalez around the same time……..


- Michigan Governor Rick Snyder wants your poor, your tired, your huddled masses…and he wants them with a green card in their hand. The governor of the state unfortunate enough to include Detroit unveiled a proposal this week that calls for the U.S. government to allocate 50,000 special visas over the next five years to lure highly skilled immigrants to live and work in the bankrupt Motor City. Snyder smartly realizes that people who don’t speak English and have never seen Detroit are the most likely to move there, but he needs a big assist from the federal government to make it happen. Americans are fleeing the D at a breakneck pace – or being murdered and buried/eaten by their fellow residents – and Snyder has watched helplessly as the city’s population has tumbled to about 700,000 from a peak of 1.8 million in 1950. Issuing 50,000 EB-2 visas to individuals with advanced degrees and exceptional skills in fields like the auto industry, information technology, healthcare and life sciences is a drastic step, but at this point anything should be considered when it comes to fixing Detroit. Snyder admitted that there is no precedent for special visas to be issued for a specific geographic area, but he drew comparisons to a current program that grants visas to physicians who agree to work in under-served areas. So far, the Obama administration hasn’t officially responded to the plan, but anything touching on immigration reform is politically radioactive these days. Snyder plans to discuss his proposal further with administration officials and noted that "it's really early in the process.” "It's really taking up the offer of the federal government that they want to help more," Snyder said. "Again, they made it clear they don't have dollar resources to necessarily help, but isn't this a great way that doesn't involve large-scale financial contributions from the federal government. Yes, but throwing massive quantities of money at lost causes is the federal government’s favorite hobby……….


- The Food and Drug Administration has to know you cannot force morons to stop being morons, but the agency is giving it a shot anyhow. The FDA is proposing long-awaited changes to the nutrition labels on the back of food packaging and hoping to clear up common misconceptions in the process. Yes, the current food labels have been in existence for the past 20 years, but people are idiots and the labels remain confusing for many. Because consumers are paying more attention to what they eat and growing wary of consuming too many refined sugars and saturated fats, the FDA wants to make sure they have easier reading when they scour food labels in the aisles of their local grocery store. In 2008, the FDA conducted a phone survey to see how many Americans use food labels regularly. Of the 2,500 participants in the survey, 38 percent cited front-of-package claims like “all natural,” “cholesterol free” and “high fiber” as a factor in which products they choose. Therefore, if these claims are misleading, people are banking on erroneous information and not eating the healthy grub they think they’ve shoveled into their pie holes. The only change to the labels since they first appeared in 1993 was the 2006 addition of a line listing trans fats. Concrete changes to the nutrition labels are expected to appear in a FDA proposal in March so clueless consumers know exactly what they are eating and how much. Calories are expected to be more prominently featured in a bigger font (Wingdings, hopefully) and the calories from fat section will be dropped from the informational panel. Clarifying serving size is another area likely to be addressed and manufacturers will also be required to share the amount of added sugar and the percentage of whole wheat in each product. No word on how the FDA plans to universally increase the IQ of those expected to read and understand the new labels………

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