A new Who album, raging soccer boycotts and a cowardly Ukraine president

- Great news from the world of international soccer, where a large group of people is angry, but no one rioted or attempted to turn their city into a pile of smoldering ruins. This time, the uprising was relatively peaceful and it took place in Spain, where Racing Santander players boycotted their Copa del Rey quarterfinal against Real Sociedad to protest unpaid wages. What was supposed to be a Racing Santander-Real Sociedad Copa del Rey second-leg match was suspended on Thursday after Racing players appeared on the pitch for their match, but instead of playing they formed a semicircle after kick-off and refused to play in protest over alleged non-payment of their salaries. The result left Real Sociedad to play Barcelona on Wednesday in Copa del Rey semifinals and while a third-tier club's players staging an on-field boycott isn't exactly the stuff of sporting legends, the fact that anger and soccer were in the same place and the stadium is still standing qualifies as a win. Before their display, the players released a joint statement on Monday announcing they would boycott the quarterfinal second-leg unless president Angel Lavin and his board stepped down. Lavin and the board remained in power, so the players completed their warm-up and between the time the first whistle blew and Sociedad kicked off, the Racing players moved in and stood arm in arm around the center circle, starters, coaches, reserves all together. Sociedad passed the ball between themselves in their own half for a while before kicking it out for a throw-in, leaving the referee to signal that the match was suspended. Racing captain Mario Fernandez claimed in the players’ statement that they had not been paid for a number of months despite promises they would be. Association of Spanish Footballers (AFE) chief Luis Rubiales expressed support for the protest, saying that "there are rules and their decision not to play could have consequences, but they are strong and united and we have to be together with them." Thanks for the entertainment, soccer…….

- There is money to be made and PayPal wants in. The digital payment company is seeking a piece of Apple’s new initiative to allow customers to make purchases via their devices in physical stores. PayPal, which is owned by eBay, is reportedly lobbying Apply heavily to get in on the computer maker’s plan to bring its long-rumored payments initiative to fruition. PayPal reportedly wants its payment service to be used in an Apple mobile payments system, believing it could be used in a variety of ways, including fraud detection, back-end infrastructure and event the processing of payments. PayPal seems to be positioning itself in a background role, not a prominent place where it will be front and center. So far, Apple has been lukewarm to PayPal’s advances in much the same way a dude is skeptical of a desperate, clingy chick who throws herself at him and forms a forced emotional attachment in her twisted mind even though they’ve known each other for less than a week. Industry experts believe that a recent Apple filing of a patent application for a payment service to be used in an Apple mobile payments system is a key step in the process of allowing consumers to make purchases using their iPhones while in its stores. It’s all mildly confusing and given the disappointing sales numbers for the newest iPhone model that caused investors to sour on the company a bit earlier this week, maybe PayPal needs to temper its desperation a bit and realize how bad it’s making itself look by dressing up all slutty and throwing itself at the best-looking company in the room……

- Way to man up, Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych. With his country ripping apart at the seams and his people rioting on a daily basis, Yanukovych has done what all courageous leaders do in times of adversity – he called in sick. Nearly two months into the increasingly violent stalemate between pro-west protesters and his government, Yanukovych announced Thursday he was taking sick leave because he’s not enough of a man to handle the situation, er, he’s suffering from acute respiratory illness and high fever, a statement on his website said. Yes, announcing sick leave through an Internet statement is a gutsy, bold move. Doing so when facing financial sanctions threatened by both the U.S. and Russia is even manlier and that’s before you factor in the indefinite nature of Yanukovych’s leave. He gave no indication of how long he might be on leave or whether he would be able to do any work. This decision miraculously surfaced just hours after White House officials refused to rule out financial sanctions against the country if the violence escalates. With plans reportedly being drawn up and international concern growing over violence that has seen six people killed in Ukraine’s capital Kiev and other cities since the protests erupted two months ago, Yanukovych and his crew aren’t exactly operating from a position of power. Even Russian dictator Vladimir “Walking Photo Op” Putin took time out from battling the evil gays ahead of the upcoming Winter Olympics in Sochi to say that Russia will conveniently wait until Ukraine forms a new government before fully implementing $15 billion bailout deal that Kiev urgently needs. Protesters continue to hunker down in Kiev’s Independence Square, braving bitterly cold temperatures to keep their fight alive………

- Is the next “Baba O’Riley” in the works? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean The Who won't head to the studio again. The iconic British rockers are indeed preparing for their next album, something Roger Daltrey announced while laying out the line-up for this March's annual series of Teenage Cancer Trust gigs that he organizes. Daltrey said he will reunite with Pete Townshend this year to make a new album. Townshend has already been working on new material, Daltrey noted. "Pete's got hundreds of songs," he said. "So the only question is whether we get around to it, but he wants to make an album and I'm always ready and raring to go. We'll see. I never know what I'm doing next, it's about what comes through my letterbox tomorrow, but I don't see why we wouldn't. My voice is still in good shape. The hearing isn't so great, but the voice is fine." Any such album would be the band’s 12th studio release and its first since 2006’s “Endless Wire.” In preparation for potential recording, Daltrey said he and Townshend won't be performing at the gigs this year as they have done during the past 14 years. The iconic frontman already has a project in the works with former Dr. Feelgood guitarist Wilko Johnson. The pair’s album “Going Back Home” drops March 10 and Daltrey is promoting its release as well. "We’ve been trying to make this album for about four years and it kept not happening for one reason or another, but when he was diagnosed, I said, 'Wilko, whatever you want me to sing, let's do it,’” Daltrey said. “It's going back to what I did in the early '60s with fast, three-minute R&B songs. No bullsh*t, just good songs." This year also just happens to contain the 50th anniversary of The Who, so there are plenty of reasons a new album is a good bet………..

- The southeastern United States has gotten its collective ass kicked by the sort of winter storm that residents of the northern part of the country laugh at while they shovel it aside and now, someone has to pay. Specifically, the people of Leeds, Ala. are going to pay – at least for towing expenses for those among them who were towed in the area during this week's winter storm. Mayor David Miller announced that abandoned vehicles blocking roadways in Leeds would be towed and that drivers would have to pay the towing charges. That seemed unfair, given that these people were merely trying to go about their daily lives and were stranded un-driveable roads that the city lacked the proper resources to keep usable. Dozens of angry Leeds residents emailed, tweeted and posted comments on Facebook expressing their outrage and in the face of public pressure, Miller stood his ground. He decided that sticking it to people whose vehicles had been towed after they left them to seek shelter was good form. As many had already paid the $125 to get their ride back, Miller told the world through a local television station that the city contracted with two different services to tow vehicles and that the fees were charged by the company and therefore, the city had no control over them. He went on to say that Highway 78 entrance into Leeds was impassable and a secondary route had to be opened through Coosa Avenue. Vehicles blocking the roadway were towed and those vehicles were towed to the storage yards of the companies that moved them. "If a car has to be towed, obviously, the wrecker company has to be paid," Miller explained. "It's illegal for a municipality to do that for free. The person whose car is towed, blocking the roadway, has to pay that fee." Oh, so it’s a matter of legality? Well then, that totally settles it………

Chinese New Year problems, angry Trent Reznor and raging Rep. Michael Grimm (R-Anger)

- Ready to stop thinking baby fat is just sooo adorable, world? Think again after you check out a new study led by researcher Solveig Cunningham of Emory University in Atlanta. Cunningham and her crew found that 5-year-old children who carry around extra weight may face four times the risk of being obese at 14, compared to their normal-weight peers. Nearly half of the children became obese between the ages of 5 and 14 were overweight in kindergarten and that might seem like science pointlessly confirming something that was already blatantly obvious, but anything to remind America how fat it is and how much it needs to work out and eat better is a brilliant idea. "We wanted to learn what are the ages of vulnerability and greater risk for new cases of obesity. We found that new cases of obesity tended to increase early on," Cunningham said. She and her team also found that socioeconomic status or ethnicity had no impact on obesity. Children followed for the study were from a range of races and socioeconomic status, although children from the wealthiest groups tended to have somewhat lower obesity risks by a negligible margin. Everyone with ears or eyes should know by now that childhood obesity in the United States is a big problem, ballooning g from 4.2 percent in 1963-1965 to 15.3 percent in 1999-2000, according to background information in the study. Specifically, the researchers wanted to determine whether there were times of vulnerability across a child's life span, or if certain groups had a greater risk. They evaluated data from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study, which y included more than 7,700 kindergartners from across the United States. Each child’s weight and height were measured at seven different times until they were in eighth grade. At the beginning of the study, 12.4 percent of the children were obese and another 14.9 percent were overweight. Those numbers skyrocketed to  20.8 percent and 17 percent, respectively, by the time the children were in eighth grade. Simply put, the children who were at high risk already became obese at younger ages and stayed that way. Put another way, fat is NOT adorable, America……..

- The Tennessee Titans not a good football team this season. Tight end Delanie Walker believes he knows why. Walker, one of the many NFL players whose seasons are over but decided to spend time at the Super Bowl anyhow to promote a product or organization, said in a radio interview that the team was dragged down by up to six players who qualified as "cancers" and didn't care that the team wasn't winning. It was the same message he communicated during the season, when he said "cancers" in the locker room needed to be identified and removed. "When we started losing more games, we got to see it more and more, it was just like it was falling apart," Walker said. "And the players that were the cancer were dragging other players into that box with them, and the box was getting bigger and bigger. At first, it was just a small box. The box just got bigger and bigger.” Walker added that the disruptive players were evident to the entire team and expressed hope that while the squad’s 7-9 mark got head coach Mike Munchak fired, he believes new coach Ken Whisenhunt and his staff will see the lack of effort from those six individuals on the game film and get rid of them. “They're going to see what type of players that want to be here and don't want to be here, and he's going to get rid of them,” Walker said of Whisenhunt. Whether Walker’s assessment is accurate or not, there is no question that the season went horribly wrong for the Titans, who started 3-1 but then fell apart, losing eight of their next 10 games, including a home loss to the then-winless Jacksonville Jaguars. They finished below .500 in one of the NFL’s worst divisions and fired Munchak a week after the season ended. Calling an athlete a quitter is about the worst thing you can say about him, but Walker happily piled on by saying that the unnamed quitters he was calling out likely wouldn’t even mind being cut. "Some of the guys that was the cancer, they really didn't care," Walker said. "They'd be happy to get up on out from the organization. You would hear them talk about it, 'I can't wait to get up on out of here.'” Walker added that because it was his first year with the team, he didn’t feel it was his job to confront players. No, calling them out anonymously through the media works just fine……..

- Rep. Michael Grimm (R-N.Y.) may have a slight rage issue. That is a common opinion for people to have of you after you threaten physical violence against a media member on live television merely because he asked you a question you didn’t like. Scott threatened to beat down NY1 reporter Michael Scotto when the reporter brought up an ongoing federal investigation of the congressman's campaign finances. The incident occurred shortly after President Barack Obama's State of the Union speech as Grimm was being interviewed inside the Rotunda of the Cannon House Office Building, part of the Capitol complex. Scotto began to ask about the investigation, but Grimm was having none of it. "I'm not speaking about anything that's off topic. This is only about the president," Grimm said tersely. He then strode angrily off screen, but as Scotto turned to the camera to speak to viewers back in New York, Grimm bum rushed the shot and went off. "Let me be clear to you, you ever do that to me again I'll throw you off this f-----g balcony," Grimm said. "Why, why, I just wanted to ask you ...?" Scotto replied. "If you ever do that to me again ...," Grimm snarled. When Scotto defended his question, Grimm then pulled the “You’re not man enough” card and vowed to “break you in half…like a boy.” For some odd reason, Grimm called Scotto the next day to apologize and issued a written statement admitting his guilt. “I was wrong," Grimm said in a statement issued by his office. I shouldn’t have allowed my emotions to get the better of me and lose my cool.” Best of all, the congressman said he and his new friend/assault victim in waiting planned to have lunch soon to smooth things over. Sadly, Scott accepted the apology and this potential ratings bonanza appears to be over almost before it began………

- Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor has rage issues of his own. Reznor and his band joined Queens Of The Stone Age, Dave Grohl and Fleetwood Mac's Lindsey Buckingham for the closing slot at the Grammy Awards Sunday night, but their time on stage shared a dubious commonality with so many awards show acceptance speeches. In other words, it was cut short by producers who decided those on stage had run out of time and needed to be curbed. When the performance was cut short by the closing credits and a commercial break, an enraged Reznor r took to Twitter to blast the organizers, writing "Music's biggest night... to be disrespected. A heartfelt F*CK YOU guys." Airing his grievances on Twitter is kind of Reznor’s thing, as he also lit up Reading Festival promoters and fellow headliners Biffy Clyro last year, saying those people had “"f*cked us on production.” Messing with Reznor’s live performances clearly does not go over well and in a weak attempt to mitigate the damage, Grammys executive producer Ken Ehrlich served up a lame non-apology apology that was somehow supposed to make it all better. "I'm sorry he was upset. I was really thrilled that we were finally getting him on the Grammys,” Erlich said. “The final jam started with Arcade Fire a few years ago, and LL Cool J last year. I wanted to end on a high, an up note. I did tell them we'd take it as long as we could. The number was about five, six minutes long, and we got to within a minute twenty of the end. We got as close as we could possibly get.” In other words, we ran out of time, f*cking deal with it, you prima donna prick. Hopefully other awards shows and festivals continue this trend of pissing Reznor off because unlike the Incredible Hulk, he is likeable (or at least amusing) when he’s angry………..

- China’s pollution problem is reaching new lows…or highs…whichever one is really, really bad. How bad? Bad enough that a key element of the biggest holiday on the Chinese calendar may be forbidden because it could exacerbate the problem. With the Chinese New Year looming, the smog that hangs over so much of the communist nation has state weather forecasters calling for a ban on fireworks because of heavy smog warnings. The start of the lunar calendar is typically marked by over-the-top pyrotechnic displays that leave behind clouds over Chinese cities, but with a nonstop wave of smog expected to blanket central and eastern parts of the country over the holiday, the China Meteorological Administration called for local governments to ban them completely. "Firecrackers and fireworks can release large amounts of toxic gas and particles such as sulfur dioxide, which will cause severe air pollution regionally," CMA spokesman Chen Zhenlin  said at a news conference. Operating on the same line of though, the municipal government in the country’s capital Beijing  said it would suspend sales of firecrackers to citizens and impose a day-long ban on fireworks if air pollution reaches the worst levels on charts. Pollution measurements reached a dangerous high earlier this month, registering over 20 times the recommended exposure levels suggested by the World Health Organization (WHO) and causing residents to wear masks on their faces and crank their indoor air purifiers to their highest setting. Winter is the worst time for pollution in the nation with the world’s filthiest air, as colder temperatures force the cranking up of regional coal-burning power plants to meet heating demands. Still, ruining the biggest holiday of the year because of your toxic air is kind of a bummer……..

Sharks in danger, Olympic cheaters and angry Quentin Tarantino

- Quentin Tarantino has never existed as an especially rational, normal or logical person. Anyone who has seen his films knows there is something seriously twisted inside his cinematic mind, but Tarantino has never been as outwardly angry as he appears to be at the moment. The enigmatic director has t he will not proceed with his new project "The Hateful Eight" because the script leaked online after he sent it to three actors. The leak became public courtesy of celebrity gossip site Gawker.com and the site not only reported on the link, but it posted a link to another website in order to download the script. It took Tarantino all of five seconds to sue the websites that are hosting his script and hit Gawker with a separate lawsuit merely for providing a link. "The article contains multiple direct links for downloading the entire screenplay through a conveniently anonymous URL by simply clicking button links on the Gawker page, and brazenly encourages Gawker visitors to read the screenplay illegally with the invitation to 'Enjoy!' it," Tarantino’s lawsuit states. Gawker plans to fight the suit, claiming that “someone unknown to Gawker put it on a website called AnonFiles, and someone unknown to Gawker put it on a different website called Scribd.” In other words, it was a bunch of shady characters doing dastardly things and we had NOTHING to do with it. As Gawker sees it, it was merely doing its job as a news site and is being sued for "linking to a site that is being sued for copyright infringement." The site took its rebuttal one step further by alleging that it was likely Tarantino himself who leaked the script, which seems like the sort of twisted thing he might do…..except for the fact that his movies make a sh*t load of money and pulling the plug on “Hateful Eight” seriously lessens its earning potential………

- Fans of Shark Week on Discovery Channel, there is bad news for you courtesy of science. According to the possibly alarmist folks of the Shark Specialist Group at the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN), about 25 percent of worldwide shark and ray populations could go extinct within the next few decades. The IUCN published a paper describing the dire global status of cartilaginous fish and Nick Dulvy of Simon Fraser University in Canada – chair of the IUCN’s Shark Specialist Group – paints a dire picture of the future for sharks and rays. “There are no real sanctuaries for sharks where they are safe from overfishing,” Dulvy warned. He noted that the species in the greatest danger are the largest species of rays and sharks, especially those living in relatively shallow water that is accessible to fisheries. A lethal combination of overexploitation are most severe for the 90 species found in freshwater, leaving animals such as manta and devil rays in danger. The study’s authors advocate immediate action to address the problem. “Unless binding commitments to protect these fish are made now, there is a real risk that our grandchildren won’t see sharks and rays in the wild,” Dulvy said. The study is the product of two decades of 17 workshops involving 300 experts and it surveyed the status of these species at a global level. To compile their data, the researchers studied all available information about cartilaginous fish — sharks, rays, and chimaeras — such as their distribution, population trends, fishing harvests, threats and efforts in conservation. They characterized 249 out of 1,041 known species of cartilaginous fish under the “Critically Endangered,” “Endangered,” and “Vulnerable” headings in the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. Shark Week won't be nearly as riveting if all of these creatures go the way of the dinosaurs………

- It took a century, but Peru finally got its land back. The South American nation lost one-third of its territory to Chile in a bitter war more than 100 years ago, but got that real estate back courtesy of the International Court of Justice at The Hague, which announced that it has conceded new maritime territory to Peru while partially upholding Chilean territory claims in a ruling that both governments appear to be considering a positive compromise. The court’s ruling took two hours to read as president of the International Court of Justice Peter Tomka laid out a new maritime border for Peru and Chile. Peru got territory – not all of the territory it wanted – and as with most good deals, both sides left the table feeling slightly dissatisfied. As part of its ruling, the court upheld Chile’s claim that the maritime border should extend from border marker number one, drawing a line out from said border marker 80 nautical miles into the sea. Oddly enough, the court did not set the border at precise geographical points, instead issuing a map intended to be used for illustrative purposes. “The Court expects that [Peru and Chile] will determine these co-ordinates in accordance with the present Judgment, in the spirit of good neighborliness,” the ruling stated. The big victory for Peru was gaining maritime territory over which it did not previously have control, specifically past the 80 miles extending from border marker No. 1 and in a descending manner to the southwest to point B. Like the ruling or not, both sides must abide by it because the verdict is final and cannot be appealed. Both governments have vowed to abide by the ruling, which is sad in a sense because conflict is always more interesting than mutual agreement……..

- Wisconsinites are a hearty people. You have to be to survive eight-month winters with temperatures regularly going double digits below zero and not find the first moving truck available for a drive to Florida. In some ways, the cold weather is just what folks are looking for when it comes to finding their next meal or enjoying some outdoor fun. Chilly temperatures make for thick ice and for ice fishermen seeking sturgeon, thick ice is good because it supports their shelters when they’re out on the ice, along with their drilling equipment. Yet even for these cold-weather maniacs, there is a limit and the current Arctic blast sweeping across the United States has pushed past that limit. Ice fishermen on Lake Winnebago in rural Wisconsin are having a difficult time cutting holes through the ice and if they can't cut their holes, they can't jam their spears into the water to poach fish. Spearers are in the process of cutting their holes in the ice and getting their shanties ready for up to 16 days of searching for the lake’s biggest bottom feeders, but many are lamenting some of the thickest ice they’ve seen on the lake in years. The most common choice for cutting the ice is a homemade sled saw, but most sled saws measure 42 inches in length. They typically sit at least six inches off the ice and cut at an angle, further reducing the depth to which they can cut. With no way to extend them, some fishermen are at a loss unless they happen to find someone else on the lake who has a big enough saw. Sturgeon spearing season opens on Feb. 8, giving fishermen precious little time to find a solution and make their preparations for their icy winter fun……..

- Challenge accepted. With the Winter Olympics a couple of weeks away, International Olympic and anti-doping officials are implementing the toughest drug-testing program in the history of the event and they’re making sure everyone knows about it. Equipped with all manner of intelligence to target athletes and events considered most at risk, authorities are relying on rigorous pre-games and pre-competition tests to make sure the Games are clean. They won't be, of course, but that’s the aim. The fact is that the International Olympic Committee can conduct a record number of tests if they so choose and they can store urine and blood samples for eight years for retroactive testing, but if they think athletes still aren’t trying to cheat the system, they’re kidding themselves. "I think it would be stupid to try to cheat," IOC medical director Dr. Richard Budgett said. "If there are any doping cases in Sochi, some of them may be because athletes are being stupid." Stupid, desperate, devious….call it what you will, but there has not been an Olympics since the start of the steroid era that has been 100 percent clean and Sochi will not break that streak. It’s admirable to have the Russian testing lab analyzing samples around the clock and that might be enough to discourage most would-be cheaters, but not all of them. The Winter Olympics are significantly smaller than their summer counterparts and thus have fewer positive tests, but to assume that all athletes will forego the economic and status benefits they could reap by cheating and winning is a fallacy of the highest order. During the Games, the IOC plans to carry out 2,453 tests, including 1,269 pre-competition controls. That is a 57-percent increase in pre-games tests from the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver, with the majority of the 1,184 in-competition tests will be done in sports like cross-country skiing and biathlon, endurance events with a history of blood doping and EPO use. All of this testing begins Jan. 30, the day the athletes village opens. The Games close on Feb.. 23 and athletes can be tested any time, anywhere. About 2,000 of the 3,000 athletes competing in Sochi are expected to be tested, including the top five finishers in every event. Even so, the cheaters always employ the best doctors and chemists to help them beat tests and these Olympics will be no different………

Spying via Angry Birds, casting "The Flash" and Pele v. cokehead Diego Maradona

- Take two giant steps back and count to 10, overzealous animal rights activists. Actually, that statement is an oxymoron because all animal rights activists are by their very definition overzealous, but that doesn’t change the fact that they need to simmer down over their demands that Pope Francis end the practice of releasing doves from a Vatican window overlooking St. Peter's Square simply because those doves were recently bird-bombed by seagull and crow while a crowd including thousands of children watched below. In a totally transparent attempt to pass off fake concern for the fragile minds of children as the real reason for their bleeding heart efforts, the kooks of the National Animal Protection Agency (EPNA) published an open letter Monday informing the pope that domesticated doves are easy prey for predators like gulls. Such gulls are known residents atop the colonnade of St. Peter's Square, near the Tiber River, and scavenge for garbage in Rome. According to the EPNA, freeing doves in Rome is like "condemning them to certain death." "Animals born in captivity, not being wild animals, aren't able to recognize predators as such and are thus incapable of fleeing from possible dangerous situations," ENPA said, vowing to launch a signature petition to get the pope's attention. Lost on the EPNA losers is the fact that sentencing individuals to death in the arena is a Roman tradition and neither they nor their pals with the Italian Federation of Animal and Environment Rights should expect to win this war against the pontiff. The sight of two smiling children flanking the pope and letting the doves go, only to have those doves dive-bombed by two hungry gulls…priceless. The only thing better would have been the pope urging the children to let the dove fly by screaming, “Pull!” and opening fire on the doves like they were clay pigeons at the shooting range. Pope John Paul II began the dove releases as a symbol of peace and as everyone knows, traditions are important to keep……..

- Let it go, Argentinean soccer legend Diego Maradona, let it go. And by “it,” we don’t mean the fork full of barbecue beef you’re currently shoveling into your pudgy face or the credit card you’re about to use to cut that premium Colombian nose candy you’re about to snort. Both are logical suggestions for a man with a detailed history of coking up and/or going on food benders so serious he had to be hospitalized, but in this case neither is the pressing matter at hand. Instead, the object Maradona needs to relinquish his grip on is his long-running feud with fellow soccer icon Pele. The two have been at odds for years in the same way that many great athletes are at odds with their peers because they each want to be the greatest of all-time and only one can. Most soccer fans and experts ascribe G.O.A.T. status to Pele, but Maradona disagrees and soccer’s governing body awarding the Ballon d'Or Prix d'Honneur to the Brazilian icon at a ceremony in Switzerland last week hasn’t swayed Maradona. Despite the honor, given because Pele was ineligible to win the original Ballon d’Or during his playing days as it was then only for those plying their trade in Europe, Maradona quickly piled on by insisting his Brazilian rival will always remain inferior. “How can you say that Pele received the Ballon d’Or before me? I received the award in Paris [in 1996]. So to make Pele the first one to receive the award before me is a huge mistake,” Maradona said. “According to me, Pele will always remain second best in football when compared to Maradona. Look at it this way, in his own country, Brazil, Pele is the second best sportsman after Ayrton Senna [the former F1 driver].” A) Way to go with the “according to me” reference, which should go without saying because you’re the one making the statement and B) Props for slamming Pele by saying a non-athlete in a bogus sport is a better athlete than the person you’re talking junk about. “Pele will always be second, be it in international football or in Brazilian sports. The sad thing is that he is second best and he will continue to stay in that position,” Maradona said, possibly before going face-first in a giant plate of fajitas and/or a nice, thick rail of coke………

- This never should have happened. If there is any place in the world that should never, ever have an insufficient stockpile of flu vaccine, it is the Sunshine State. Florida is a place overrun with the elderly as they flock south so avoid the scourges of winter in their home states and many of them arrive never to leave. Knowing this, how is any vaccine-distributing agency, business or entity in the state with a median age of 87 (give or take a few years) not sufficiently stocked up on flu vaccine the instant winter arrives? This question is directed at the multiple Centra Care centers in central Florida, including Orange, Lake and Seminole counties, that ran out of the flu shot after a busy weekend. As of Monday morning, centers in Winter Park, Sanford, Waterford Lakes, Winter Garden, and Mount Dora were drained of their flu vaccine as the company worked to restock their shelves. As the new week dawned, doctors said they had a mere 500 shots left for Centra Care's 21 centers around Central Florida. "These people that should have gotten their shots earlier in the season are now rushing in at the last minute," said Centra Care physician Dr. Tim Hendrix. Wait…you didn’t have enough vaccine and you’re blaming the alarmist fools who are bum-rushing your clinics to get a shot that won't even help them anyhow and are doing so simply because they are fearful old people who worry that anything and everything in the world will kill them unless they take enough pills and shots to stock a pharmacy for a month? Other flu shot centers reported a similar rush for those seeking flu shots and urged those seeking vaccination to come in as soon as possible. The Orange County Health Department said it still has about 2,000 doses left, while Seminole County’s stockpile is lower. "We've seen more people since we've been hearing about more of the flu cases, and those deaths, unfortunately," said Dain Weister of the Orange and Seminole County Health Departments. "It's good people are getting the vaccine, trying to protect themselves the best they can." Yes, it’s good…..for drug companies making the flu vaccine………

- It was bound to happen sooner or later and slackers wasting time playing an avian-themed smartphone game rather than doing something productive probably deserved it. Yes, both American and British spy agencies have been exploiting "Angry Birds" and other leak-prone smartphone apps to collect users' personal information and spy on such personal details as private citizens’ sexual orientation and preferences. That is the latest not-so-shocking revelation from documents taken by former intelligence analyst and current gulag linen cleaner Edward Snowden. Snowden’s leaked documents showed that intelligence agencies lifted address books, buddy lists and phone logs and thieved location information from Google Maps when photos are posted to social media sites. These interesting and previously secret files published Monday revealed that the National Security Agency and Britain's Government Communications Headquarters have been hijacking personal details provided by users or transmitted by their phones since 2007 and depending on how clueless a person was and how naïve they were about who is out there seeking to pirate their personal information, these agencies could collect such juicy nuggets as: home country, current location (through geolocation), age, gender, zip code, martial status (including swinger or non-swinger), ethnicity, sexual orientation, education level and number of children. Now, one could argue that governments would bogart that data by some means no matter how they had to go about it, but giving it away for free so you could play “Angry Birds” just seems cheap………

- Central City is filling up quickly. The next superhero show from the CW and a spin-off of its current drama “Arrow” is casting the good-looking people who will populate its fictional city and the names are – as per the CW playbook – lesser-known actors trying to make a name for themselves. “The Flash” is the show in question and its newest additions are Rick Cosnett, who played Dr. Wes Maxfield on The “Vampire Diaries,” and “Necessary Roughness” alum Danielle Panabaker. The duo have joined the cast of the upcoming “Flash” pilot, which stars Grant Gustin, who made his debut as Barry Allen on “Arrow” late last year. Cosnett will play Eddie Thawne, a recent transfer to Central City's detective squad with a dark past, while Panabaker has been cast as Caitlin Snow, a bioengineer who lost her fiancé during an explosion at S.T.A.R. labs, the same explosion on a stormy night that led to a lightning strike giving Allen his speedy powers. In a coincidence sure to send fanboys’ hearts a-flutterin’, Caitlin Snow also happens to be the name of DC's latest incarnation of the villain Killer Frost. Oh, and Eddie Thawne sounds very similar to Eobard Thawne, the man who becomes Professor Zoom/Reverse Flash. Nerds with pasty complexions and addresses in their stepmother’s basement will undoubtedly go to town on those thinly veiled hints. Jesse L. Martin also joined the cast earlier this week, so “The Flash” is zooming toward its debut in a hurry……..

Movie news, a rich American dude's ass-hated Nazi anaology and what polar bears eat

- Three years after ousting President Hosni Mubarak, how far has Egypt come? Not far. If anything, the troubled north African nation has taken two giant steps backward in its journey as a country. For evidence of that, look no further than the 20 people who died and more than 100 who were wounded as blasts and protests rocked Cairo late last week on the eve of the third anniversary of the uprising that pushed Mubarak from power. The day of festivities kicked off when a truck bomb exploded shortly after sunrise as it tried to get into police headquarters in the Egyptian capital. The incident produced the first five deaths and 76 injuries of the day as onlookers screamed curses at the assailants and several police officers sat on the sidewalk with tears in their eyes. A body lay on the ground, covered by a sheet and state television quoted witnesses as saying that gunmen opened fire on buildings after the blast. Both the police headquarters building and nearby 19th-century Museum of Islamic Art were heavily damaged by the blast. More incendiary antics were forthcoming, as a second explosion near a subway station rocked Cairo while smoke from the first blast was still wafting over downtown. A Ministry of Health spokesperson confirmed that one person died and another four were wounded in the second explosion and local media reported a third explosion from an improvised explosive device next to a police station near the Pyramids district of Giza on the outskirts of Cairo. Amazingly, those three blasts were not the end of the day’s drama. The health ministry reported that 14 people later died in fierce clashes that later broke out between thousands of supporters of deposed Islamist President Mohammed Morsi and Egyptian security forces. In a fitting display on such a hostile day, rioters hurled Molotov cocktails at the police and officers responded with tear gas canisters. The militant group Ansar Beit al Maqdis released a statement claiming responsibility for the near-simultaneous bombings…….

- Manny Pacquiao is either extremely desperate or incredibly clueless on financial matters. Regardless, his latest half-baked idea is his worst yet and it doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously by anyone inside or outside his camp. The Filipino congressman and former eight-division world boxing champion has shown signs of slowing down of late, suffering two losses in his past four fights and taking a tumble from the top of the ranks in the process. Along the way, the idea of the fight that everyone wanted to see – Pacquiao against self-proclaimed pound-for-pound king Floyd Mayweather Jr. – went by the wayside because the Pac-Man was no longer who he used to be. Mayweather still hasn’t lost and perhaps inspired by a win in his most recent fight, Pacquiao has cooked up an idea that is equal parts desperation and idiocy. He suggested that the megafight between he and Mayweather could still happen and went so far as to challenge Mayweather to fight him for free, suggesting that the two donate all revenue generated from the bout to charity. In a sport with a long history of bizarre proclamations and bombastic challenges, it was one of the oddest offers ever made. It also made no sense as Mayweather Jr. earned a guaranteed $41.5 million in his last bout, a dominating majority decision over Canelo Alvarez, and doesn’t get out of bed in the morning unless there’s a suitcase of $100 bills waiting for him. As much as the offer made no sense for Mayweather, it made even less for Pacquiao. He is accused of owing tens of millions of dollars in back taxes and the last thing he can afford to do is throw away the one thing he could do for major cash by performing for free. At worst, he could accept a the short end of a 65-35 split and hope Mayweather bit on that deal. When asked about the offer, Mayweather wasn’t biting. "I offered Manny Pacquiao the fight before," Mayweather said. "We didn't see eye to eye on terms. Years later we come back and I try and make the fight happen again,” Mayweather said. “All of a sudden, he loses to Timothy Bradley, he loses to Marquez … he has tax problems now. All of a sudden want to say: 'You know what? I'd do anything to make the fight happen,' when he's really saying: 'Floyd, can you help me solve my tax problems, get me out of debt?'" In other words, no thanks………

- Polar bears: Helpless victims of climate change or recipients of far too much sympathy from bleeding-heart liberals? Before answering that question, take a gander at a few new studies led by Linda Gormezano, a biologist at the American Museum of Natural History in New York. These studies depict the Arctic’s greatest predator as capable of adapting better than previously thought to climate change specifically in terms of modifying its diet. Gormezano’s research indicated that polar bears are turning to other sources of sustenance in times when seals, its preferred prey, are in scarce supply. Hungry polar bears have turned to snow geese, caribou, grass seeds and berries to fill their empty stomachs. "What our results suggest is that polar bears have flexible foraging strategies," Gormezano said. Shrinking Arctic ice and other repercussions of global warming have reduced the area available for polar bears to prowl in search of seals, so a willingness to expand their diet could be vital for the predators moving forward. Besides, a hungry human will eat damn near anything – even McDonald’s or Taco Bell – if there is nothing else available, so why should polar bears be any different. Another study of polar bears’ diets examined polar bear poop and found that the animals conserve energy by eating what’s right around them. That same study showed as many as six different food types in a sample of sh*t, so give polar bears credit for having culinary versatility. There was one small caveat, as some bears with wayward gastrointestinal leanings were found to chow down on less-nourishing items like the seats of snowmobiles, lead acid batteries or even the hydraulic fluid drained from a forklift. But hell, there will always be a few deviants………

- Maintaining perspective is vital in life regardless of one’s station or socioeconomic status. Keeping successes and adversity in their proper ratio and not overreacting to difficult, but not devastating, circumstances helps make for a well-rounded and non-douche baggy person. San Francisco venture capitalist Tom Perkins needs to learn (or re-learn) this lesson because his ass-hatted and insipid claim that liberals' push to reduce inequality in the United States is just like Nazi Germany's war on Jews reeks of a massive persecution complex and lack of cultural intelligence. Yes, someone else has dared to equate a current, non-life-threatening non-crisis to the horrors suffered by the Jews at the hands of Adolf Hitler and his henchmen and the comparison in this misstep is likening an attempt to reduce that absurd gap between the über-wealth and the poor to the so-called “Kristallnacht,” when Nazis and their supporters spend a night trashing the homes and businesses of German Jews, setting buildings on fire and brutalizing anyone who stood in their way. It was the unofficial kickoff of the Nazis’ reign of terror and according to Perkins, a founding member of Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, a “progressive Kristallnacht” could be imminent. In a letter to the editor published in The Wall Street Journal, Perkins moronically responds to an editorial on speech codes at American colleges by ranting about a totally unrelated issue. “Writing from the epicenter of progressive thought, San Francisco, I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its "one percent," namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the rich," Perkins wrote. First, bonus points for unilaterally declaring your city to be the epicenter of progressive thought. Second, more bonus points for trying to in any way compare billionaires with luxurious lifestyles to a group of persecuted people who had their entire lives ripped from them before they were murdered in concentration camps in the most inhumane conditions possible. The only real regret here is that Perkins couldn’t also work any rape or slavery references into his manifesto……..

- A truly uninspired weekend at the box office with no major new films arriving at the local multiplex left a top 10 virtually unchanged from one week ago, topped by the Ice Cube-Kevin Hart buddy comedy “Ride Along.” In its second week of release, the film added $21.2 million to its earnings and had banked $75.4 million in domestic earnings so far. “Lone Survivor” remained in second place with $12.6 million, giving it a five-week haul of $93.6 million and counting. In third place for a second straight weekend was “The Nut Job,” which amassed $12.3 million for the frame and has earned $40.2 million overall. “Frozen” and “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit” swapped spots, with “Frozen” jumping one spot to fourth with $9 million and “Jack Ryan” dropping down to fifth with $8.8 million. The two movies have made $347.8 million and $30.1 million, respectively. The lone new film to crack the top 10 was “I, Frankenstein,” which had a dud-tastic $8.3 million outing against the backdrop of a $65 million budget to rank sixth. “American Hustle” was next in seventh place, adding $7.1 million to its bankroll for an overall domestic tally of $127 million in seven weeks. “August: Osage County” remained in eighth place with a $5.1 million effort and in five weeks of limited release, the critical favorite has brought in $26.5 million. “The Wolf of Wall Street” inched closer to the $100 million mark with $5 million and is up to $98.1 million in its first five weeks. “Devil’s Due” slipped three places but hung on to the final spot in the top 10 with $2.7 million. In two disappointing weeks, the demonic thriller has banked $12.9 million. “Her” (No. 11) was the lone movie to lose its spot in the top 10 from last weekend………

South Sudan ceasefire absurdity, Phil Collins + Adele and pot brownies at the teachers' party

- There is always one, as in one idiot who thinks it would be totally funny to take part of their ganja stash, grind it up and slip it into the brownie batter for the batch of baked treats they take to the office party. Granted, stoners aren't the smartest lot, but there has to be a special degree of stupid present for a person to think, “Duuuude, it would be totally funny if, like, I baked some quality kush into these brownies and everyone at the office party ate them and was totally tripping!” Northern California elementary school teacher Teresa Gilmete Badger is that stupid pothead and she was arrested after she allegedly brought marijuana-laced food to an after-hours employee potluck dinner. Badger, a 47-year-old teacher at Matthew Turner Elementary School in Benicia, cooked up her special treats for a late-November get-together with her fellow teachers. According to the Benicia Police Department, the fallout was extensive. Several people reported feeling ill, a police statement said, including a 15-year-old who also got sick after someone at the party brought leftovers home. "One of the partygoers was rushed to the hospital with severe reactions; she was hospitalized," Lt. Frank Hartig said. “The very next morning, another partygoer was taken to the hospital, because she continued to feel like she was under the influence of something." Rather than enjoy a free high, this person sought medical treatment and after she tested positive for THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol), the principal intoxicant in marijuana, police launched a six-week-long investigation that ended with Badger’s arrest According to a police statement, Badger had "allegedly confessed her involvement to individuals who were also in attendance at the party." She refused to speak to arresting officer and was booked into the Solano County Jail in Fairfield. Sounds like someone else is going to have to bring the fun to the teachers’ next party………

- Everyone who had a washed-up ‘80s pop star as the next logical collaborator for British songstress Adele’s much-awaited new album, raise your hand. One of the best voices in music today could work with damn near anyone she chose, so the fact that Adele is (allegedly) working with light-years-past-his-prime Phil Collins on new music is jarring to say the least. Collins is the one making the claims even though he also said he hasn’t really heard too much about his new collaborator. How anyone who remotely lieks music is ignorant of Adele is almost inexplicable, but in spite of his professed ignorance, Collins said he is writing new music with her and is impressed with her voice and level of success. “I've just started to work with Adele. She contacted me to write together," the former Genesis drummer said. “I wasn't actually too aware [of her]. I live in a cave [but] she's achieved an incredible amount and I really love her voice and I love some of that stuff she's done. So, to me, it's always an eye-opener. Educational.” Rumors of Adele’s next project have swirled since April of last year, when it was reported that she had started work on the successor to “21,” which has now sold over 26 million copies worldwide. Other rumored collaborators prior to Collins have included Simian Mobile Disco's James Ford and singer-songwriter Kid Harpoon, who has previously worked with Florence & The Machine and Jessie Ware………

- TiVo Inc., the San Jose-based maker of DVR technology, has become an afterthought in the tech world in recent years as a slew of competitors have crowded the DVR field. Shares of TiVo sank more than 2 percent Thursday and remained down Friday after a report that the company was planning to wind down its hardware business. Five of TiVo’s industrial designers have reportedly been laid off, reducing its hardware division to a bare bones unit with little support. TiVo denied the report….sort of. “We don’t confirm, deny or acknowledge staffing moves,” said Steve Wymer, the company’s vice president of public relations and corporate communications, in a statement. “We shift around our engineering department all the time. All I can say is, it is not true that we’ve dumped our hardware division. We are fully capable of delivering on our current and future hardware plans, whatever is in the roadmap.” Thanks for talking a lot while saying nothing, Steve-O. All you told the world is that your hardware division still exists (for now) and can deliver on whatever vague, unspecific plans you have for the future. Layoffs or not, TiVo currently employs around 900 people, most of them in the company’s Silicon Valley offices. Approximately 80 percent of them are on the engineering or technical side of the business. Despite its non-denial denial, TiVo has been public about its shifting focus, from hardware to cloud-based digital video solutions in the face of competition from Apple, Google and even smaller players like Roku. This latest report is a stark contrast to the positive third-quarter earnings numbers TiVo posted and its best-ever quarter for new subscribers through cable partners, bringing its total subscriber base to a total of approximately 3.9 million. Even its net income of $12.5 million exceeded guidance. The most recent DVR box from TiVo, the Roamio, included cloud-based apps for mobile devices and debuted late last year. Overall, the company’s the company’s research and development spending has been down and experts have questioned its commitment to innovation in an increasingly crowded market. The official TiVo response is that it is slashing its development budget in order to focus on securing deals with cable operators such as Virgin Media, RCN and Grande Communications……..

- Winning college basketball games isn’t easy. When your team has a magical season going and is ranked No. 16 in the country, you clearly don’t short-circuit that run by keeping one of your best players off the court, right Iowa State administration and Iowa Supreme Court? These powerful educational and judicial figures understand the importance of a winning basketball team and with the Cyclones 15-3 and positioned for a top seed in the NCAA tournament with a strong finish, they will need all hands on deck. One of those hands will be guard Bubu Palo, who hasn’t played this season while at the center of an ugly court battle with the Iowa Board of Regents and is now cleared to return to the court thanks to the justices of the state’s highest court. The court denied a request by the board of regents to keep Palo off the court following a suspension in 2012 after being charged with second-degree sexual assault. The charge was eventually dropped early last year and the university's Office of Judicial Affairs cleared Palo to return to the team. His return was short-circuited when Palo was found to have violated Iowa State's student code of conduct by president Steven Leath and kicked off the team on Aug. 30. Clearly, Leath doesn’t appreciate the importance of fielding a Top 25 basketball team at all costs, but thankfully the court does. Sure, Palo was never convicted of anything, but a sexual assault charge being dropped doesn’t always mean no crime was committed. It simply means there wasn’t a strong enough case for a conviction. Conviction or not, Palo was back in uniform against Kansas State on Saturday and assuming he stays clear of legal trouble in the next two months, he’ll be a part of whatever run the Cyclones put together this season……….

- Why bother? South Sudan is the world’s newest country and its biggest train wreck of internal strife and sectarian violence, so there really is no point in negotiating any sort of ceasefire. Neither side wants or plans to lay down its arms, so cease with the ceasefire talks and move on to the next step. Have any doubts? A new peace deal was barely signed before, South Sudan's government and rebels accused each other of attacks that came after the ceasefire was supposed to take hold. Information Minister Michel Makeur Lueth blamed the rebels for the attacks and vowed that if the attacks continue, government troops will defend themselves. Rebel spokesman Lul Ruai Koang pushed that blame squarely back on the government’s side of the table. "It is government forces who are breaking the cease-fire, not us. ... they attacked our positions and immediately accused us of breaching the cease-fire,” Koang said. He claimed the attacks took place in Unity and Jonglei states "and we fought back in self-defense." Prior to the agreement, government leaders expressed fear that fighters in Jonglei known as the White Army would not abide by the deal. "These are rebels and they are undisciplined people and not a regular force and have no central command, and for that matter it is not strange that they immediately violated it," Lueth said. Ouch, minister. Not only are you blaming the other side for not abiding by the peace deal, but you’re talking smack about them being undisciplined as well? In spite of the continued violence, Lueth insisted the peace deal was not a waste of time. That seems like a lie and another approach is the next logical step in a conflict between government forces and rebels loyal to former Vice President Riek Machar that has forced 500,000 people from their homes and killed thousands since hostilities broke out Dec. 15. Mix in satellite images of the intentional burning of some 750 homes near the town of Bentiu and gross violations of human rights during the conflict and this dumpster fire of a nation is feuding like a seasoned country with hundreds of years of hatred and injustice……….

The FDA helps idiots, Detroit hearts immigrants and Yankees-Red Sox spending smack

- Why is one of the most successful indie rock veterans still active on the music scene aspiring to be like pop music hacks Taylor Swift and Katy Perry? Stephen Malkmus, the frontman for iconic indie act Pavement and the current ring leader for Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, has dubiously admitted that the lyrics to his band’s new track “Lariat” are influenced by him trying to write like Swift and Perry. He was asked about the significance of the line, “We grew up listening to the music of the best decade ever,” and stupidly said that the words were influenced by him “trying to write something that Taylor Swift would write, or maybe even more Katy Perry.” As every Pavement fan reached for a trash can or sought out a toilet in which to vomit, Malkmus explained further a statement that never should have happened. “I was thinking in wide ways. For me I'm a seventies guy, and sometimes when you're in your early adolescence or when the chicks are just a little older, and kind of out of your reach, they're the ones you sort of like at that young age. Seventies chicks and seventies rock,” Malkmus said. Nice try, Steve. In the span of a few seconds, your words wrecked not only your band’s new album – “Wig Out at Jagbags” – and also invalidated the love for rising indie favorites Parquet Courts and Joanna Gruesome that Malkmus went on to express. Even seemingly innocuous comments about discovering new music and enjoying songs more on YouTube and not being a fan of Twitter, Facebook or music streaming services such as Spotify suddenly became downright offensive when they are uttered by a man who aspires to write like two of the most fabricated pop creations in recent memory……….

- Well done, anonymous South African diamond mine worker. You discovered one of the rarest and most coveted in the world with a possible price tag of tens of millions of dollars and for that, you get nothing beyond your normal paycheck. The unidentified mine worker found the 29.6-carat blue diamond at a South African mine near Pretoria owned by Petra Diamonds. While small enough to fit into the palm of a hand, it is one of the largest found at the Cullinan mine since the famed Cullinan Diamond was found in 1905 - described as the largest rough gem diamond ever recovered and weighing 3,106 carats. That growing list includes a 25.5-carat Cullinan blue diamond, found in 2013 and sold for $16.9 million, and a diamond found in 2008, known as the Star of Josephine, which was sold for $9.49 million. Petra Diamonds CEO Johan Dippenaar is already hyping up the new find, suggesting it could best the price of many massive diamonds found at the mine before it. "By some margin ... this is probably the most significant stone we've ever, in terms of blue stones, recovered," Dippenaar said. "The stones in the last year or so are selling well above $2 million per carat. That's not my quote, that's updates in the market.” Although the specifics of the diamond are still being fleshed out, some experts have speculated that it could fetch between $15 million and $20 million at auction. The Cullinan mine has yielded diamonds that have been displayed at London's Buckingham Palace and are regarded as among the rarest and most valuable in the world. The most famous of the lot, the 1905 Cullinan Diamond, has been cut into two stones - the First Star of Africa and the Second Star of Africa - that form part of Britain's Crown Jewels held in the Tower of London. Dippenaar said the company would decide what to do with the new diamond in the next week………

- The calendar changes, but the bizarre and ironically hilarious sight of two of baseball’s highest-spending teams b*tching at one another over their overpaying ways never does. The Boston Red Sox are Major League Baseball’s defending champions and the archrival New York Yankees are eager to rebound after missing the playoffs, leading the Bronx Bombers to throw nearly $500 million at new players this winter. It’s akin to the winter after the 2008 season, when a failed run at a title led the Yankees to sign CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira. With that trio in tow, New York rebounded to win the World Series in 2009 and they are clearly hoping that inking Jacoby Ellsbury, Brian McCann, Carlos Beltran and Japanese import Masahiro Tanaka to half a billion dollars in contracts will repeat that feat. Just don’t expect Red Sox CEO Larry Lucchino to be impressed. "It's like 'Back To The Future,' is my sense," Lucchino said. "I've seen this movie before. Anything that can be done that increases the intensity of the rivalry, as this certainly does, I think is positive -- as long as it doesn't go so far as to give them the advantage." Not to be outdone, Lucchino insisted he and fellow Sox owners John W. Henry and Tom Werner are just as committed to winning as the Yankees. It rings true, given that the Red Sox have spent just as freely as the Yankees in recent years. Winning two titles in the past decade provides more leeway for a franchise that went eight decades without one. Lucchino noted that the Dodgers are following the same game plan as the Yankees, but was adamant that his team would not follow suit. He can say that now, but if the Red Sox fall to the middle of the American League pack next season and need a jolt, don’t be stunned if they start handing out deals like the seven-year, $142 million contract they doled out to failed free-agent signing Carl Crawford in 2010 or the seven-year, $154 million deal they gave to Adrian Gonzalez around the same time……..

- Michigan Governor Rick Snyder wants your poor, your tired, your huddled masses…and he wants them with a green card in their hand. The governor of the state unfortunate enough to include Detroit unveiled a proposal this week that calls for the U.S. government to allocate 50,000 special visas over the next five years to lure highly skilled immigrants to live and work in the bankrupt Motor City. Snyder smartly realizes that people who don’t speak English and have never seen Detroit are the most likely to move there, but he needs a big assist from the federal government to make it happen. Americans are fleeing the D at a breakneck pace – or being murdered and buried/eaten by their fellow residents – and Snyder has watched helplessly as the city’s population has tumbled to about 700,000 from a peak of 1.8 million in 1950. Issuing 50,000 EB-2 visas to individuals with advanced degrees and exceptional skills in fields like the auto industry, information technology, healthcare and life sciences is a drastic step, but at this point anything should be considered when it comes to fixing Detroit. Snyder admitted that there is no precedent for special visas to be issued for a specific geographic area, but he drew comparisons to a current program that grants visas to physicians who agree to work in under-served areas. So far, the Obama administration hasn’t officially responded to the plan, but anything touching on immigration reform is politically radioactive these days. Snyder plans to discuss his proposal further with administration officials and noted that "it's really early in the process.” "It's really taking up the offer of the federal government that they want to help more," Snyder said. "Again, they made it clear they don't have dollar resources to necessarily help, but isn't this a great way that doesn't involve large-scale financial contributions from the federal government. Yes, but throwing massive quantities of money at lost causes is the federal government’s favorite hobby……….

- The Food and Drug Administration has to know you cannot force morons to stop being morons, but the agency is giving it a shot anyhow. The FDA is proposing long-awaited changes to the nutrition labels on the back of food packaging and hoping to clear up common misconceptions in the process. Yes, the current food labels have been in existence for the past 20 years, but people are idiots and the labels remain confusing for many. Because consumers are paying more attention to what they eat and growing wary of consuming too many refined sugars and saturated fats, the FDA wants to make sure they have easier reading when they scour food labels in the aisles of their local grocery store. In 2008, the FDA conducted a phone survey to see how many Americans use food labels regularly. Of the 2,500 participants in the survey, 38 percent cited front-of-package claims like “all natural,” “cholesterol free” and “high fiber” as a factor in which products they choose. Therefore, if these claims are misleading, people are banking on erroneous information and not eating the healthy grub they think they’ve shoveled into their pie holes. The only change to the labels since they first appeared in 1993 was the 2006 addition of a line listing trans fats. Concrete changes to the nutrition labels are expected to appear in a FDA proposal in March so clueless consumers know exactly what they are eating and how much. Calories are expected to be more prominently featured in a bigger font (Wingdings, hopefully) and the calories from fat section will be dropped from the informational panel. Clarifying serving size is another area likely to be addressed and manufacturers will also be required to share the amount of added sugar and the percentage of whole wheat in each product. No word on how the FDA plans to universally increase the IQ of those expected to read and understand the new labels………

Alabama prison abuses, fake robot whiskers and Foo Fighters album excess

- Germans are known for many things, but a great sense of humor is not one of them. Or any sense of humor, for that matter. A group of German milk farmers are aiming to change that by doing something as simple as entertaining thousands of cow-loving viewers with short, bovine-centric videos posted on YouTube-like site. The videos posted on the increasingly popular "My Cow Tube" are not simply for entertainment; they come in the wake of r several food scandals that have rocked Germany  – including horse meat being found in frozen lasagna last year and the first diagnosis of mad-cow disease since 2009 earlier this month. You might think people would have no interest in watching cattle farmer Eike lying in the hay among his cows and explaining why they have four compartments in their stomachs and regurgitate their food, a process known as rumination. You would be wrong. The masses are fired up to learn about topics such as cow reproduction, how the animals learn to use a water pump for drinking and a process they call "cow styling" with rotating brushes – a mechanical back rub that the animals seem to enjoy. The videos have amassed an impressive 170,000 views and developed a rabid following for their twice-weekly postings. Their creators are a group of 16 dairy farmers and at their core, the videos are aimed at improving the reputation of cattle farming and providing insight into the work. "We now use the camera as often as possible, so that we can capture the special moments and to show that we have nothing to hide," said 44-year-old farmer Amos Venema, from Jemgum, in north Germany, who has 165 cows on his farm. All in all, it’s a remarkable tale that proves one thing no one saw coming: Germans actually do have a sense of humor………

- Score one for creative oddity and copious consumption….not to mention waste and excess on the part of one of the biggest rock bands in the world. Foo Fighters are reportedly recording their new album in 12 different recording studios around the world, at least according to an Australian fan now living in Chicago to whom frontman Dave Grohl reportedly revealed the news. That the band is working on a new album is not in question, as they recently posted that session for the project are “f*cking on” and posted a picture of a row of master tapes labeled “Foo Fighters LP 8” to their official Instagram feed. What is in doubt is the veracity of the word of a fan who claimed that Grohl told him that the 12 songs for the album were recorded in 12 different studios scattered across the globe. According to this fan, Foo Fighters were keen to work with legendary producer Steve Albini, who owns the Electrical Audio studio in the Windy City. As the story goes, Grohl has been grinding away with Albini and fellow über-rock producer Butch Vig, using a never-previously-used recording technique that's unique to this particular analogue studio. Grohl did speak about the album late last year and hinted at a new twist on the process. "We're doing something that nobody knows about, it's f*cking rad,” Grohl said. “We begin recording soon, but we're doing it in a way that no-one's done before and we're writing the album in a way that I don't think has been done before.” With the album apparently in the can and now needing simply to be processed and produced, Foo Fighters will headline a special gig next month in the run-up to next month’s Super Bowl……….

- Do robots need whiskers? Of course they do. If they didn’t, why would scientists be festooning said whiskers on robots to be used for tactile sensing? Think about it……robots already have artificial skins so they can "feel" objects and obstacle, robotic eyes to help them see and other manner of artificial body parts to make them more alive. Now, researchers from the Berkeley Lab and the University of California have managed to create artificial whiskers for robots. Real animals such as cats or rodents can use their whiskers to supplement their other senses when hunting or scavenging for food and the Berkeley team used their biomimicry skills to craft some highly effective robotic designs. Their artificially constructed e-whiskers are so sensitive that they can detect even very slight movements in the air. "Whiskers are hairlike tactile sensors used by certain mammals and insects to monitor wind and navigate around local obstacles," the study’s authors wrote in their findings. "Here, we demonstrate artificial electronic whiskers that can respond to pressures as low as 1 Pa with high sensitivity.” To fashion the faux whiskers, the team used films of silver nanoparticles and carbon nanotubes to create highly sensitive tactile sensors that can be attached to robots to give them additional input about their surroundings. "Systems consisting of whisker arrays are fabricated, and as a proof of concept, real-time two- and three-dimensional gas-flow mapping is demonstrated,” the authors added later in their report. “The ultrahigh sensitivity and ease of fabrication of the demonstrated whiskers may enable a wide range of applications in advanced robotics and human-machine interfacing.” Bigger things could be ahead for the fake whiskers, as the team believes they can also be used on aquatic robots. Fish do use whisker-like organs called barbels to sense vibrations in the water, so fish-like robots could theoretically use their synthetic barbels for the same purpose…………

- The Justice Department does not sound happy with a certain ladies-only prison in Alabama. And no, you can't argue that the entire state of Alabama is a Podunk prison from which everyone would be fortunate to escape because that’s a low blow and Alabama doesn’t deserve it. Then again, the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division seems to believe that female inmates the Julia Tutwiler Prison don’t deserve the treatment they’re receiving from those running the prison. The department issued a scathing report declaring that the Alabama Department of Corrections has repeatedly violated the women's constitutional rights at the prison by forcing prisoners to live in a toxic environment marked by sex abuse and harassment by the corrections staff. In the report, department investigators urged the state to take immediate remedial steps. "Our investigation has revealed serious systemic operational deficiencies at Tutwiler that have exposed women prisoners to harm and serious risk of harm from staff-on-prisoner sexual abuse and sexual harassment," said Acting Assistant Attorney General Jocelyn Samuels. "These problems have been festering for years, and are well known to Alabama prison officials. Remedying these deficiencies is critical to ensuring constitutionally protected treatment of women prisoners at Tutwiler and will promote public safety.” Federal officials also penned a letter to Gov. Robert Bentley claiming that the inmates "universally fear for their safety" and "live in a sexualized environment with repeated and open sexual behavior." Included in this perverted environment are strip shows and "cross-gender viewing" of female prisoners as they undress in front of correction staff. Toss in  "inadequate conditions" of confinement and medical and mental health care and this prison sounds like….well, prison on steroids…and not the good kind. Alabama Department of Corrections Commissioner Kim Thomas dismissed the findings as  "off the mark" and promised to implement changes and recommendations with the goal of improving prison conditions……….

- Boston Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of leverage in negotiations. When a professional athlete is approaching free agency, he or she must use every resource at their disposal to convince their current team that they plan to test the market and likewise do everything they can to pit potential suitors against one another to drive up their asking price. Lester, who went 15-8 with a 3.75 ERA last season for the world champion Red Sox, is eligible for free agency after the 2014 season. If he turns in another year like last, he will undoubtedly command an eight-figure annual salary and have his pick of teams to sign with. All he has to do is stay quiet, pitch well and make it clear he intends to test the market when he has the chance, so…..dammit, who told him that he should forfeit the upper hand by explicitly stating that his desire is to remain with Boston and to take a discount in order to do so? "These guys are my No. 1 priority,'' Lester said at the Boston Baseball Writers' Association of America awards dinner. "I want to be here 'til they rip this jersey off my back. It's like Pedey [Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox second baseman]. He left a lot of money on the table to stay here. That's what he wanted to do. I understand that. That's my choice, that's his choice.” Lester added that he understands he will almost certainly get less money if he follows through with his asinine plan and while he will make enough money in a single season to last the rest of his life no matter which team he signs with, it’s the principle that matters here. What matters is that a man who was paid $11.625 million last season in the final year of a five-year, $30 million extension and will earn a scant $13 million this coming season is passing up a chance to make an incredibly exorbitant amount of money to simply make an egregiously large amount of money………

Lazy men get heart disease, Chinese dissidents get arrested and stoner ballers eat their ganja

- Welcome to the club, Cinmeon Bowers. That would be the club of athletes who have responded with, um, less than top-notch intelligence when it comes to reacting when the police come knocking and they are in possession of marijuana. Because so many athletes enjoy toking up, a few are bound to have encounters with John Q. Law while they have a blunt, dime bag or half-smoked fattie in their possession. What’s a baller to do when he or she is holding an illegal substance and doesn’t want to go to jail? For Bowers and two of his friends, the answer was simple. When the junior college baller and Florida State recruit and two teammates were pulled over for a speeding violation, officers smelled marijuana coming from the car. To prevent the law from stealing their stash, Bowers and Chipola College teammates Torian Graham, 20, and Jamaar McKay-Taylor, 19, ate the marijuana in an attempt to conceal it from the officers, according to a police statement. Yes, because munching on your ganja before baking it into a brownie or other dessert item is always a good idea. That in no way will make a person sick and/or lead to them being charged with tampering with evidence and taken to the Jackson County Correctional Facility. Amazingly enough, all three players have been suspended indefinitely by Chipola College until the legal process plays out. The conversation inside the car in between the time the flashing lights went on in the rearview and the time the officer reached the driver’s side window must have been some real Mensa-level dialogue. As expected, Florida State coach Leonard Hamilton said the school will wait until the legal process plays out before making any decision. No such wait is necessary to know that while stoners are geniuses at crafting a bong out of literally any household item, they’re absolute fools when it comes to reacting in pressure situations when their stash of the sticky icky is about to be discovered…………

- The only African-American Republican in the Senate is attempting to stay above the fray after being accused of being a new-age Uncle Tom by the NAACP. Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.) said he had no plans to  "reflect seriously" on comments made by a civil rights activist who accused him of being a puppet for the tea party. Scott, speaking on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, instead tried to keep the focus on the man being honored by the holiday. "Instead, I will honor the memory of Dr. King by being proactive in holding the door for others and serving my fellow man," Scott said in a statement. "And Rev. (William) Barber will remind me and others of what not to do." Barber is the president of the North Carolina NAACP, but made his inflammatory statements in a speech at a church in the senator's home state of South Carolina. "A ventriloquist can always find a good dummy," Barber said, adding that the extreme right in the state basically hand-picked Scott to be its stool pigeon on the Senate and spout its über-conservative agenda in Washington. Those words came as part of a diatribe in which Barber ripped African-Americans who he said aren't following in the spirit of King, including black youths who kill each other and those "who wear their pants down to their knees.” Grouping killers, senators and wearers of saggy pants is a pretty broad generalization, especially for someone who belongs to a race that has been the target of a slew of ugly and hateful generalizations over the year. Best of all, Scott said in his statement that he has never met Barber. Tearing into someone you’ve never met is always a foolproof strategy…for saying something asinine and regrettable. Scott added that to “reflect seriously on the comments a person, a pastor that is filled with baseless and meaningless rhetoric would be to do a disservice to the very people who have sacrificed so much and paved a way.” For once, a senator (sort of) takes the high road. So amazingly rare……..

- Is one of the biggest rock bands of this generation simply too busy with its own solo projects to come together for a new album? According to Radiohead guitarist Colin Greenwood, he and his bandmates may simply be going in too many different directions to find a mutually available time for a new project. Greenwood cited the respective side projects of Radiohead’s members as the primary reason they have yet to get working on the follow-up to their 2011 album “King of Limbs.” He insisted the quintet are eager to make new music together but are currently enjoying some down time following the tour to promote “Limbs.” "It's all up in the air at the minute. Thom's just come back from touring Atoms For Peace and he's having some quiet time,” Greenwood said. “I'm sorry to be vague but we're all just taking it easy at the moment. Just enjoying being at home and hanging out really. But at the same time, the vibe is very much Oxford and all good. It's like that." Like any successful rock star, Greenwood knows that fans would love to hear that Radiohead are hard at working writing, brainstorming and putting in late nights at the studio in search of their next great release. Hearing that your favorite band is getting older and enjoys being at home chilling with their families and relaxing doesn’t exactly inspire enthusiasm in the masses. On top of that, listen to how cheery and positive Greenwood sounds – not exactly fitting for a member one of the most mopey, melodramatic rock bands around. “We definitely want to do it all again but we've just got to give it some time for the dust to settle. What I'm trying to say is everyone's very happy and positive and looking forward to the next adventure,” Greenwood added………

- Surprise, surprise. In a stunning twist of irony, a prominent Chinese anti-corruption activist and legal scholar is on trial accused of organizing demonstrations demanding the authorities obey their own transparency laws. The Communist Party does not take well to anyone suggesting it should actually abide by the laws it establishes, so Xu Zhiyong, the leader of a moderate reformist group, was arrested in July for organizing small protests. The goal of the protest was to demand that government officials declare their income and assets. Xu’s supporters argue that his efforts have exposed shortcomings in Chinese President Xi Jinping’s signature anti-corruption policy. The government claims that the law has led to the takedown of 20,000 crooked officials. Xu is an unofficial representative of a group of activists and social media campaigners facing a secretive government crackdown because of their outspoken ways. Xu’s trial is the first major dissident case since Xi took power and is drawing more international attention than any Chinese judicial proceedings since Nobel Prize winner Liu Xiaobo was locked up for subversion in December 2008. The drama around Xu ratcheted up in August when he managed to record a message on an iPhone smuggled into the prison in which he appealed for democracy. In the 60-second recording, he said he would "sacrifice anything" for "freedom, public good and faith." His group, the New Citizens Movement, seeks to work within the current system to affect change. In 2010, he was even elected to a local Beijing district legislature as an independent. He campaigned on the closure of illegal detention centers and equal education rights for China’s migrant population. He established the New Citizens Movement in 2010 and initially expressed hope that Xi’s rise to power would be positive news for anti-corruption advocates. Instead, 16 activists have been detained in the anti-anti-establishment crackdown. As one would expect, most Chinese trials end in a conviction and that means Xu is likely headed for five long years in a Chinese labor camp……..

- Men, the time has come to get up off your fat ass. So says the American Heart Association. The AHA wants men to know that the risk of heart failure in men – even those who exercise regularly – increases with sitting for long periods of time. Researchers discovered that preventing heart failure requires a two-part approach combining two obvious techniques to combat idleness: increased physical activity and decreased levels of sedentary time. Amazingly, in an age when there are hordes of researchers probing every angle of every topic – important or not – this is actually the first study to investigate the link between heart failure and sedentary time, according to lead researcher Deborah Rohm Young, Ph.D. Young, who is also a senior scientist at Kaiser Permanente in Pasadena, Calif., and her colleagues came to a simple conclusion after doing their work: “Be more active and sit less.  That’s the message here,” Young said. For the project, t he researchers tracked a racially varied group of 84,170 men ages 45 to 69 without heart failure. They calculated exercise levels via a metabolic equivalent of task (METS), a measure of the body’s energy use. They factored in participants’ sedentary levels in terms of hours and some eight years of follow-up work later, they found that men with low levels of physical activity were 52 percent more likely to develop heart failure than those men with high physical activity levels. Men who spent five or more hours sitting down each day outside of work were 34 percent more likely to develop heart failure than men who spent no more than two hours a day sitting, regardless of the time they spent exercise. Worse still, the risk of heart failure increased twofold in men who sat for at least five hours a day and did less exercise than men who were very physically active and sat for two hours or fewer each day. From the results of the study, Young and her team issued statement in support of the AHA’s recommendation that men and women get at least 150 minutes per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity to decrease their risk for heart failure and other cardiovascular diseases……….