- World of college athletics, behold the attempt at
self-preservation/selfless sacrifice of the University of Miami football
program. For
the second straight year, the Hurricanes will not be going to a bowl game by
its own volition. As the e NCAA’s ongoing investigation into the program and
former booster Nevin Shapiro progresses and the program awaits the hammer of
judgment about to be dropped on its head, athletic department officials are
hoping to ward off some of the judgment’s severity by voluntarily bowing out of
the bowl picture. Miami interim athletic director Blake James made the
announcement Monday morning after the Hurricanes (6-5 overall, 4-3 ACC)
became bowl eligible with a win over South Florida this past weekend. Had they
won this Saturday over lowly Duke, they would have advanced to the ACC
championship game against Florida State. Instead, Georgia Tech (6-5 overall,
5-3 ACC) will face the Seminoles next month and Miami hopes its voluntary
sacrifice will placate some of the NCAA’s rage. “Considerable deliberation and discussion based on the status of the NCAA
inquiry went into the decision-making
process,” the university’s official statement read. “While acknowledging the impact that the
decision will have on current
student-athletes, coaches, alumni and fans, a determination was made that
voluntarily withholding the
football team from a second postseason was not only a prudent step for the
University to take but will also allow
for the football program and University to move forward in the most expedited manner possible.” In other
words, “We probably would have ended up 7-6 and in some crappy, lower-tier bowl
game, so we’re throwing ourselves on the sword and hoping it earns us NCAA
brownie points.” As a quick refresher, Shapiro claims he provided millions of dollars in
impermissible benefits to Miami student-athletes. He now resides in a federal prison for other crimes, but seems hell-bent
on bringing down the program he once loved……..
- What is it with Christmas/holiday trees and
near-fistfights in the United States more than a month before Christmas? First
the White House offends millions by describing holiday decorations as holiday
trees and now the good people of Birmingham, Mich. are looking for someone to
tar and feather because city officials elected to go with…..gasp….an artificial
Christmas tree for its public display this year. The fake tree many be 35 feet tall and
decorated with more than 22,000 lights, but its presence in Shain Park is a
reason to go for many Birmingham residents. Just as families across America
have done for years, supporters of natural trees and those who are OK with the
idea of an artificial blue spruce standing tall to honor the holidays are
arguing back and forth over whether the city made the right decision. Given
that Birmingham forked over $30,000 for the fake tree, the debate is something
of a moot point because it most definitely is not going to be returned (and
what is the return policy on a 35-foot-tall artificial Christmas tree anyhow),
leaving angry locals to decry their town spending enough to buy a new police
cruiser or two on a fake tree that will be used for just a few weeks each year.
The city plans to keep the artificial tree for 10 years and argues that the purchase
was necessary because the original, real tree was in bad shape and did not look
good enough to be used this year. By purchasing the faux tree, officials have
bought time for another tree in the park to hopefully grow tall enough to
become Birmingham’s next genuine, living Christmas tree. Until then, it’s time
to fake it until the real tree makes it……….
- And so the quest for better (and quieter) means of killing people
continues. Technology is always evolving and being used to send more and more
people shuffling off this mortal coil. Witness the latest advance in modern
warfare for more evidence of this reality. Normally, bullets create small sonic
booms when flying through the air, but that makes it tough for special forces
units to be covert about what and when they’re shooting. These commandos want
to be sneakier and thanks to the latest round of small-business solicitations
by Pentagon's Special Operations Command, or SOCOM, they may soon have their
wish for slower, quieter bullets granted. SOCOM is seeking out subsonic
ammunition to "provide superior covert and stealth capabilities" for
not only the military, but police forces and the Department of Homeland
Security, according to the official solicitation. The goal for rifles in the
5.56, 7.62 and .338 calibers is bullets traveling at low enough velocities to
avoid breaking the sound barrier, thus creating no "crack" noise. As
an added bonus, subsonic bullets would all but eliminate the need for a sound
suppressor, or "silencer." If one believes the government’s official
word on any subject, the Defense Department does not presently have subsonic
bullets "classified for use in the calibers provided by any DoD
service." That isn't the whole truth, as commandos have used subsonic
bullets since World War II, mainly for smaller guns like the .22 and 9 mm
caliber pistols. However, subsonic round and d fairly large-caliber war rifles
tend not to be a good mix. Some of the related issues are mentioned in the
solicitation, which explains that subsonic bullets "experience significant
accuracy problems due to excessive deviations in velocity." The size,
weight and post-firing expansion of the bullet also complicate the issue and
subsonic bullets also lead to a greater risk of jamming, which in a firefight
could mean the difference between life and death. In the solicitation, the
Pentagon offers a few suggestions about how to build a better subsonic bullet,
including using
"polymer cased ammunition" as opposed to brass or steel. Beyond that,
let the race the become the new merchant of silent death commence………
- There is a war on rats on one of the Galapagos islands and a few
smaller islets. On remote Rabida island and about a dozen islets, Phase I of
the anti-rat campaign has been raging for nearly 23 months now and the stated
goal of the effort is to kill off all nonnative rodents, beginning with the
Galapagos' smaller islands. Officials responsible for the Rat-A-Caust are
endeavoring to off the rodents without endangering other wildlife. The campaign
began on smaller islands like Rabida, Pinzon and Plaza Sur, which are uninhabited
by humans. Islands inhabited by humans will come last. This is far from the
first time wildlife officials have attempted to eradicate species from the
islands; previous targets have included goats, cats, burros and pigs. The size
of the challenge depends upon the size of the island; Pinzon is about seven
square miles in area, while Plaza Sur encompasses just 24 acres. Pinzon is as
overrun with rats as any place outside of Manhattan (just kidding, New Yorkers)
and the island’s rat infestation has now reached one per square foot. An
estimated 180 million – 180 million! – rodents are estimated to reside on the
island and to wipe them out, the director of conservation for the Galapagos
National Park Service, Danny Rueda, believes the largest-ever raticide in South
America is necessary. Exterminators are using poisoned bait developed by Bell
Laboratories in the United States and housed in light blue cubes that attract
rats but are repulsive to other inhabitants of the islands. Once they are
distributed, the one-centimeter-square cubes disintegrate in a week or so. Park
official Cristian Sevilla explained that the poison will be dispersed on Pinzon
and Plaza Sur through the end of November and to prevent potential harm to hawks
from Pinzon that might eat poisoned rodents, 34 of the birds were trapped and
will be kept safely in captivity until early January. Forty iguanas on Plaza
Sur were also captured temporarily for their own protection. Part of the
ingeniousness of the poison plan is that the poison itself was specially
engineered with a strong anti-coagulant that will make the rats dry up and
disintegrate in less than eight days without the normal stench of decomposing
flesh. The current phase of the project is being financed by the national park
and nonprofit conservation groups at a cost of $1.8 million……….
- Did anyone know TV Land doesn’t just show tired, old
series that are no longer on the air? It also airs tired, old actresses
starring in original shows as well….like the bizarrely beloved Betty White of
the inappropriately named “Hot in Cleveland,” which will go where few shows
have gone in order to make its season premiere unique when it airs in June. The
series Valerie
Bertinelli, Jane Leeves, Wendie Malick and White and along with their co-stars,
the four women will be part of a live episode to kick off its new season.
Because the show already tapes in front of a live studio audience, the
adjustment should be smaller when the episode airs on June 19. "This is
going to be big," said TV Land president Larry W. Jones. "It's
exhilarating because you just never know what might happen. We've got true
sitcom veterans with the cast of Hot in Cleveland and I can't wait to see what
unfolds." Other shows, including “The Drew Carey Show” (also set in
Cleveland, curiously enough) have tried the concept and while “Hot in Cleveland's”
producers are still determining how long the "super-size" live
episode will be, they have already confirmed that it will be longer than a
traditional 22-minute episode. It won't have any connection to Cleveland other
than its name and will air from the show’s normal stage at CBS Studio Center in
Studio City, Calif. West Coast viewers won't be able to see the episode as it
happens and instead will be able to watch the live episode repeat on tape for
the Pacific Time zone. Viewers in other areas, should they have nothing
worthwhile to do on a summer night and not need a nap or time to reorganize
their sock drawers, can watch the episode live at 10 p.m……….
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