- Competing against women is so last year. Lindsey Vonn
has kicked enough female ass and now she wants to battle the fellas in a
men's World Cup downhill race. Unfortunately, the tools at the International Ski
Federation won't let her. Vonn's request to compete against men was rejected
after the FIS council met Saturday in Oberhofen, Switzerland, and
"confirmed that one gender is not entitled to participate in races of the
other" and adding in a statement that "exceptions will not be made to
the FIS Rules." Vonn hoped to enter the men's downhill on Nov. 24 at Lake Louise,
Alberta, six days before the women race on the same course. She has won the
women’s overall World Cup four times, so she clearly has talent, but that
wasn’t enough for the ass hats who run the FIS. "It's very clear,"
FIS secretary general Sarah Lewis said. "It's called the men's World Cup
and the ladies' World Cup. The men race the men's World Cup and the ladies race
the ladies' World Cup. FIS and World Cup points are not transferrable from one
circuit to another." But wait, there is a chance for Vonn to cross over to
the men’s side – as a course tester before races. The FIS statement said that
Vonn "is welcome to submit a request to the organizing committee and jury
to be a forerunner" for the races, meaning she could test the course
before races for safety and visibility. If she was going to race with the men,
it would have to be at Lake Louise, where she has earned nine of her 26 World
Cup downhill victories. She has been so dominant there that the venue is often
dubbed "Lake Lindsey" in her honor. Her request had the support of
her coaches, leaders in the sport and the U.S. Ski and Snowboard Association
(USSA), but that support did not sway the FIS. "We're disappointed that
the FIS Council did not support the proposal, but also respect its
direction," USSA president and CEO Bill Marolt, who is also a member of
the FIS council, said in a statement. "Lindsey Vonn is a great champion in
our sport and we have always respected her interests in this new
challenge." Buzzzzzzzzzzz! Wrong answer, Billy. That decision deserves no
respect……….
- There will always be the next big thing in weight loss,
that supposed magic bullet that allows FAT people to shed pounds without
actually having to push away from the buffet table or hop on the treadmill or
exercise bike. The latest innovation isn't a pill or diet, but rather leggings that supposedly
help people lose weight by raising their body temperature while exercising or
undertaking simple household chores. So far, these magic leggings are a hit in
the United Kingdom and more than 500,000 pairs have already been sold online. Zaggora
HotPants are the invention of Dessi Bell, who was like many brides-to-be in
that she wanted to shed the pounds for her wedding that she was too lazy to
work off prior to getting engaged. She went to work inventing a way to drop the
weight and came up with her HotPants, which utilize so-called “Celu-Lite
technology,” which is designed to boost the effects of a person’s normal routine.
According to Bell, the pants work by intensifying heat and increasing the core
temperature by a significant amount so a person burns more calories while not
being too overheated. “A lot of women wear them for walking,” Bell explained. “As
long as you are active you will see a benefit, even if that is around the house
or doing the school-run.” Sports scientists at the University of Brighton have
studied the pants and discovered that participants in their study who used HotPants
while doing moderate exercise over four weeks lost an average of 1.3 lbs. more
than those who did not wear them. How much does one pay for workout gear with
mythical weight-loss powers? The pants are priced at $160-180, with tops more
affordably priced (but still too expensive) at $40-75………
- Pakistan's army
chief is not going to put up with any sh*t. Gen. Ashfaq Parvez Kayani has made
it clear that anyone looking to undermine his military had best be prepared for
the ass-kicking of a lifetime and spelled out his stance in a rare public
statement Monday. Kayani warned against efforts to undermine the military
during a time when the nation’s government, military and judiciary have all
expressed concern over its role in Pakistan. His message was met with concern
based on the army's history of seizing power in military coups, but many
experts viewed the statement as an indicator of the shifting power balance in
Pakistani politics. “Armed
forces draw their strength from the bedrock of the public support," Kayani
said at army headquarters in the city of Rawalpindi. "Therefore, any
effort which wittingly or unwittingly draws a wedge between the people and the
armed forces of Pakistan undermines the larger national interest.” Threats from
the army still carry weight because it is considered the strongest institution
in the country, but its generals have slowly ceded power to Pakistan's civilian
leaders and judges in recent years. The army is also bogged down in a bloody
war against a domestic Taliban insurgency and is facing opposition of a
different sort in light of recent controversial actions by the Supreme Court.
In one recent landmark ruling, the judges recommended hat the government launch
legal proceedings against a former army chief and head of intelligence for
allegedly bankrolling politicians in the 1990 election. Kayani took aim at the
judiciary Monday and wasn’t exactly veiled in his threats. "We all agree
that strengthening the institutions, ensuring the rule of law and working
within the well-defined bounds of the constitution is the right way
forward," he said. "Weakening of the institutions and trying to
assume more than one's due role will set us back." In response, yhe chief
justice of the Supreme Court, Iftikhar Chaudhry made a speech after Kayani
issued his statement and cited the Supreme Court's constitutional
"supremacy over all other institutions and authorities." He then
piled on by informing anyone listening that, "Gone are the days when
stability and security of the country was defined in terms of number of
missiles and tanks as a manifestation of hard power available at the disposal
of the state.” Ahhh…..nothing like the smell of violent intra-national dissent
on a Monday………
- Someone roll Mr. Feeny out of the retirement home because
one of the best kid-friendly television series of the ‘90s is roaring back to
life….with a twist. “Boy Meets
World” told the story of Cory Matthews, an average boy growing up outside
Philadelphia and learning the lessons of life and love alongside his pal Shawn,
big brother Eric and perennial teacher George Feeny, who was always
miraculously asked to move up a grade so he just happened to be teaching
whatever class Cory and the love-of-his-life-in-the-making Topanga. Disney,
which is officially in the business of co-opting great entertainment ideas (“Star
Wars”), is developing
a “Boy Meets World” sequel series, tentatively titled “Girl Meets World.”
The series would follow Cory and Topanga's pre-teen daughter, which is the same
age the original series picked up the central characters’ story. To ensure a
high degree of authenticity, the network is reportedly in talks with original stars
Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel to reprise their roles as high school
sweethearts who got married in the show's seventh and final season. If it is
only Savage and Fishel – whose most recent time in the spotlight came as a
Weight Watchers spokesperson – then the new series might struggle. Not having original
stars Rider Strong (Shawn), Will Friedle (Eric) and William Daniels (Mr. Feeny)
would hurt and so far, there is no information on whether the trio is
interested in being a part of the show. Casting is underway, but details are
limited at this point. “Boy Meets World” ran on ABC from 1993 to 2000 and was
part of the network's "TGIF" comedy block. Maybe its former glory can
be revived in made-over form………
- There are few activities with a higher potential for a
disastrous ending than drunken feats of athletic excellence. Taking a person of
any level of intelligence and fueling them up on four or five beers and then
dropping them into a setting where they can attempt to scale, jump or otherwise
traverse a barrier or other inanimate object that they would never attempt to scale,
jump or otherwise traverse while sober is a recipe for disaster. Look no
further than the painful tale of a drunken fool who was out on the town Saturday
night in Hollywood Hills and had a beer or eight too many. Next thing you know,
this would-be Mensa and a friend are attempting to climb over a wall outside a Hollywood Hills home and amazingly
enough, the attempt ended in a fail. The first man, possibly the more sober of
the two, cleared the fence without incident. His friend did not and found
himself impaled on the fence and unable to free himself. Having a metal fence
post through one’s leg can make escape difficult and when two intoxicated
individuals are the ones working on freeing someone from a compromising
position, the odds decrease exponentially. Amazingly enough, an emergency crew
had to be called to the rescue and firefighters arrived on the scene to find
the impaled man right where he had been for quite a while. To free this fool,
they had to cut away iron bars. When they freed the drunken man, his friend
explained that the two of them were merely trying “get a nice view of the city.”
Instead, they got to be a nice punch line for the rest of the city to laugh at.
Fortunately for them, the Los Angeles
Police Department decided that no crime was involved, meaning a trip to
local hospital is the only souvenir this ass hat will take away from his night………..
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