- People in Nepal need to be on the lookout for a hungry,
extremely violent leopard who is on the prowl and eating people – lots of
people. The meal-loving leopard may have killed 15 people in Nepal in a
15-month span and its most recent suspected victim is a 4-year-old boy that the
creature dragged away into the jungle to eat. This particular attack turned
especially gruesome, as the boy’s head was found in the forest about half a
mile from his home Saturday morning. Kamal Prasad Kharel, the police chief of
the Baitadi district, confirmed the grisly find in his region, which is located
about 373 miles west of the capital, Kathmandu. Search teams looked for the boy
for several days and ultimately, he will go down as the 15th victim in the past
15 months for this terrifying cat in western Nepal. Kharel doesn’t have any
eyewitness accounts of the big cat killing anyone, but believes the evidence
from the deaths points to a single, feline culprit. As odd as it sounds, having
one man-eating leopard roaming the jungles is better than the next-most
plausible alternative, that there are two of these carnivorous cats around. Wildlife
experts have mostly concurred with Kharel’s assessment because the presence of
two man-eating leopards would likely have produced more than 15 victims. Eating
humans is something of an acquired taste for them, but once they experience the
saltier blood of humans, they tend not to find other creatures quite as appetizing.
The victim count could actually be higher because several other people have lost
their life to leopard attacks in Uttarkhand state in northern India, which
borders Baitadi district. Most of the victims have been children below the age
of 10, suggesting the leopard doesn’t have the swag to pick a tougher target,
like an adult male. "No adult male has been killed," Kharel said. "In
the case of the children it just leaves behind the head, eating everything, but
some parts of the adult body are left behind because it cannot finish it.” To
combat this menace, the district’s government has announced a Rs. 25,000 (about
$300) reward to anyone who captures or kills the leopard. Let the hunt begin……….
- Never mind, Portsmouth, N.H. If you were planning on
voting today, don’t bother. The only real incentive you had to cast your ballot
for whomever is running for whatever, local, state or national position or on
any number of ballot measures that apply to your area is gone. No, not the
chance to decide who your leaders will be and most definitely not the chance to
have your say on the issues that may affect your day-to-day existence. The true
incentive to vote in Portsmouth was ripped by the ass-hatted squares who wrote
America’s federal voting laws and decided it was illegal for the Portsmouth Brewery to give out a free pint
of beer on Tuesday g to voters who showed up at the brewery with their “I
Voted” sticker. The brewery has its own bar and anyone who showed up for lunch
or dinner, or just for a drink after work, and had a sticker proving they had
waited through line, received their ballot from the 97-year-old women working
the polls and voted, would receive a free beer. Unfortunately, no one wants to
allow anything remotely fun to be associated with election day and citing
federal election laws, the brewery pulled the plug on the promotion early
Tuesday morning. “Due to federal election law, we are no longer offering a free
pint to those with 'I Voted' stickers. We're very sorry for any inconvenience
or disappointment, but we only found out late yesterday afternoon,” the brewery
announced in an official statement. Inconvenience or disappointment? How about
soul-searing pain from the best chance any adult has had in decades for their
Election Day experience to yield a positive, memorable result………
- When the curmudgeony, condescending David Stern peered
down from his gilded throne as NBA commissioner and decreed that his league
would no longer tolerate serial floppers, he really meant what he said. Too
many NBA players are going down like they’ve been shot when an opponent so much
as waves his arm within 10 feet of their head and something must be done to
prevent the league from descending to the same depths of diva-ism as soccer.
Prior to the start of the season last month, the league announced a system for
penalizing frequent floppers, beginning with a warning for the first offense, a
$5,000 fine for a second offense and escalating fines up to a fifth offense,
after which a suspension may be issued. The real question was who the first
floppers singled out would be and just one week into the season, that query has
been answered. Minnesota Timberwolves backup point guard J.J. Barea and
Cleveland Cavaliers backup point guard Donald Sloan tied for first – or last –
in the race when they were issued the historic first warnings from the NBA for
flopping. The league announced Monday that the two players had been put on
notice and the announcement of the warnings was actually part of the concept
behind the new policy. In other words, Stern and his cronies hope that leaking
the names and subjecting these floppers to questions from the media and taunts
from fans will shame them into changing their ways. Sloan was pegged for
flopping after contact with Chicago’s Kirk Hinrich that sent Sloan careening to
the court like he’d just been hit by a sniper. Barea went down when noted NBA
badass Mormon Jimmer Fredette used his left arm to keep some space between
himself and Barea, leading to ol’ J.J. throwing his arms in the air and selling
the foul like his life depended on it. Both players floppers should be
extremely proud of the history they have made………
- Did “International Punch a Man-Bander in the Face Day”
come and go and I missed it? Dammit, I hate when that happens. Then again, it’s
a holiday that should be celebrated every day and it was during a recent show
by British man-banders The Wanted, who obviously have neither the testosterone
nor balls to grow actual facial hair, nor do they have the good sense to know
that you do not, under any circumstances, touch another dude’s facial lettuce
without direct permission. Man-band member Max George learned this lesson the
difficult way when he was at a show and put his hands on a man’s beard. “I got
punched by some big dude with a beard, because apparently I tugged on it. I
didn't tug it, I just stroked it and said it was awesome and he laid into me,”
George said. “I had no chance. He punched me square on the chin.” As well he
should have, you ignorant ass hat. If that man had been subjected to any of
George’s man band’s so-called hits, like “Glad You Came,” “Chasing the Sun” or
“Gold Forever,” then punching George in the face was probably too lenient of a
response. Set aside for a minute the weirdness of an effeminate, wannabe
Hollister male model who frosts his tips and dances in unison with four other
dudes admiring another man’s beard and just listen to the inane, mindless music
The Wanted churns out. Punching all of them in the face is too nice a treatment
for these tools, who could not even beat out fellow man-banders One Direction
for the title of Worst Band at the 2012 NME Awards. Their freakishly
falsetto vocals and mindless, droll lyrics beg for a swift kick to the groin as
well……….
- Siri may not be able to consistently understand the
nuances of a person’s speech patterns of accurately transcribe remarks and
convey what an individual actually said, but soon users of Apple's mobile
operating system may include a way to buy movie tickets by just talking to the
automated “woman” inside their iPhone. Rumors are swirling that the next update
to the iOS operating system on which the iPhone runs will include a feature
allowing users to ask Siri to purchase movie tickets. iOS 6.1 has already been
made available to developers who work with Apple and according to some of those
developers, users will be able to utter phrases such as “Two tickets to ‘Argo’”
or “Buy three tickets to see ‘Wreck It Ralph’ in Tempe tonight,” and Siri will
summarily mangle their request and use their credit card to purchase seven
60-inch flat-screen LED televisions at their local Best Buy. The iOS update
will work with Fandango, meaning users have to install the Fandango app before
they can complete a purchase through Apple's voice assistant. Sadly, Siri will
only be available to help U.S. iPhone users buy tickets to the wrong movie.
International users won't get the update, at least not at present. Siri can
currently check movie times, but cannot purchase tickets. When a person asks
for movie times, Siri pulls up a cinema marquee graphic. Once the purchase
feature is added, eligible theaters will be marked with small movie ticket
icons. There has been no announcement as to when iOS 6.1 and its new feature
will be available to the public………
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