Saturday, September 08, 2012

Ukrainian performance art, nails in your breakfast bar and vindicated Saints


- Would you rather have a rusty nail in your cereal bar or a dead rodent in your spinach? The choice is obviously difficult, but allow the plights of women on opposite coasts of the United States to inform and educate your decision. First, meet Escondido, Calif. resident Veronica Rivera, who said she purchased a Golden Grahams Treats Chocolate Marshmallow bar from a 7-Eleven store Wednesday. She was halfway though the combination of breakfast and chewy snack when she allegedly found a nail that looked just like any other chocolate chip inside the bar. From there, she called the phone number on the package and called General Mills, which said it wanted to see the nail and promised to send vouchers to Rivera for her troubles. Company officials insisted their products pass through metal detectors before leaving their factory but plan to conduct an investigation. Her story is not so dissimilar from that of Orlando resident Milica Calovic, who purchased a package of spinach at a local Costco. Her story is that she cut the package open and poured the contents into a pot of boiling water, at which time she noticed that there just so happened to be a mouse in her spinach. As a biologist, she was clearly qualified to spot and identify the mouse and like any good scientist, she had her husband break out the video camera and record her talking about her surprising protein supplement to her meal. "I couldn't believe it. It was a mouse," Calovic said on video. "I looked and I couldn't believe it what I saw. I immediately knew that was a mouse because it was hairy." Again, top-notch scientific skills in play. The package of Taylor Fresh Organic Baby Spinach, according to Calovic, was sealed before she cut it open and dumped its entire contents into a pot of boiling water. Somehow, the promise on the package that the spinach inside is  "washed and ready to enjoy” didn’t hold true this time. Calovic contacted the company, Costco and local and federal health agencies to report the possible contamination, but like Rivera she has no plans to sue. Taylor Fresh has taken the official position that Calovic has no proof the mouse came from the box of spinach and seems un-inclined to do a damn thing about it. It truly is a sad day when two American consumers find unwanted, dangerous items inside packages of food and no one is going to sue………….


- If a whiny, pompous, music-bastardizing reality karaoke show creator b*tches in the crowded forest of reality television and no one gives a damn, does it still make a sound? Probably not, because it seems like Simon Cowell’s sniveling, whining mouth is moving and maybe even complaining about how NBC airing its reality karaoke show “The Voice Karaoke” opposite his Fox reality karaoke series "X Factor Karaoke" is "mean spirited" and "tactical." The two crap-tacular shows will square off in the same time slot next Wednesday, a decision that would seem to have Cowell irate if there really were sound coming from that ass hat’s mouth if he were truly making noise. NBC greatly offended the father of terrible reality karaoke television this week when it would be adding a third episode to the premiere week of “The Voice Karaoke,” putting the show in direct competition with the premiere episode of "X Factor Karaoke" on Sept. 12. The irony of Cowell, who has built his despicable brand on being mean, rude, lowbrow and just plain irritating, complaining about someone else playing mean is immense. For the creator and former judge on “American Karaoke,” NBC's decision was a calculated one made because the first episode of “X Factor Karaoke” is, in his deluded mind, "sensational." "It's a spoiling tactic, and it's very simple: They don't want people to see this first episode," Cowell whined. "I think it's mean spirited and I hope and I pray that it backfires on them because this is one of the best shows we've ever made and I am pissed off about it.” Oh no, the ridiculously rich and musical credibility-less Brit who mocks reality karaoke singers for a living is pissed off, whatever will the world do? If “The Voice Karaoke” creator Mark Burnett claims he didn’t know when Cowell’s show premiered and that the move wasn’t mean-spirited, then let’s all agree to believe him, ignore both shows and keep moving………..


- The point of drinking wine, other than being a pretentions wine lover who talks about things like body, vintage and the kind of wood used to make the barrel that holds the wine, is to consume alcohol. Sure, it’s a way to drink booze in a more classy fashion than shotgunning cans of Keystone Light or doing keg stands, but in the end, alcohol is still alcohol. On top of that, there are dozens of scientific studies extolling the virtues of wine consumption on a person’s heath, so it’s a win-win, right? According to Spanish researchers (and if you can't trust the Spaniards on wine, you can’t trust anyone), si, but with a caveat. These Spanish scientists say that red wine can substantially reduce a person’s blood pressure, but only if the alcohol is removed first. It might sound like drinking non-alcoholic red wine is missing the point entirely and for many people, that is true. However, those at risk of heart problems could literally save their lives. According to the study, alcohol weakens the ability of red wine to cut blood pressure, effectively canceling out any benefits. Researchers found that natural antioxidant compounds in red wine - not the alcohol - are what is good for heart health. For the study, the researchers studied 67 men with diabetes or three or more cardiovascular risk factors who ate a common diet combined with different drinking habits. Participants were asked to drink either 10 ounces of red wine a day - the equivalent of a couple of glasses - the same amount of non-alcoholic red wine or about three ounces of gin (a couple of drinks). All participants tried each possible combination of food and drink for four weeks and saw the biggest benefits after drinking non-alcoholic red wine every day for four weeks. These men had lower blood pressure after consuming the non-alcoholic wine, which contained equal amounts of polyphenols, an antioxidant that decreases blood pressure. Those same benefits were not seen during the red wine phase or while drinking gin. The non-alcoholic red wine was associated with decreased blood pressure, possibly reducing the risk of heart disease by 14 percent and stroke by as much as 20 percent………..


- Performance art is awesome. While going to a museum and looking at paintings hanging on the wall is usually boring, showing up and getting to kiss a willing hottie who just might agree to be the love of your life is a reason to make a beeline for the museum. If it sounds too good to be true, just head to the National Art Museum of Ukraine in Kiev, where a Ukrainian-Canadian artist is presenting an interactive art project called "Sleeping Beauty," in which five attractive young women take turns sleeping under dim lights in Kiev's top gallery, each under a pledge to marry the visitor who wakes her with a kiss. There are flaws in the plan on account of the women not actually being under an evil spell, but any unmarried museum-goer can kiss the women in the hope of making the beauty fall in love and awaken. The display is the brainchild of Taras Polataiko, a Ukrainian-born artist now based in Canada, who says the goal of his exhibit is to recreate the famous fairy tale and witness the birth of love. There is also the underlying social message as the exhibit symbolizes the patience of the Ukrainian people trapped by what he calls the oppressive government of President Viktor Yanukovych. "I am turning the fairy tale into reality, the Prince fell in love with her deeply, strongly and this love woke her up," Polataiko said. "Strong love happens by chance." So far, the exhibit hasn’t produced any marital magic, as only one Sleeping Beauty has woken up to a kiss. Her Prince Charming turned out to be a princess, which most dudes would argue only makes the moment hotter but also complicates matters because Ukraine forbids same-sex marriage and the “princess” has a boyfriend of her own. Some visitors have admitted they are there for fun and a chunk are likely lonely guys who just want someone to kiss, but the marriage pledges that the visitors sign are not legally binding and no one is locked in to anything. A few have shown tremendous desperation, like the loser who left a model named Liza a brand new iPad, his e-mail address and $400 to buy a ticket and visit him in Amsterdam where he currently lives. For Polataiko, who is famous for provocative art work, the display continues his trend of provoking discussion with his work. The two-week exhibit ends Sunday, meaning each of the beauties only has one two-hour stint left “sleeping” on a high white bed in the ground floor room at the museum………..


- Would someone please get a towel for NFL commissioner/sheriff Roger Goodell? He needs to wipe some huge chunks of egg from his grill after a three-member appeals panel tossed aside his suspensions of four players associated with the New Orleans Saints bounty scandal. Jonathan Vilma, Scott Fujita and Will Smith are all free to return to their respective teams and unsigned free agent Anthony Hargrove can start talking to NFL teams about giving him another shot after he was cut by the Green Bay Packers during the preseason. The four players had been suspended for stints ranging between three weeks (Fujita) and the entire season. They are, for the time being, back in the game. Smith, still with the Saints, and Fujita, now with the Cleveland Browns, probably will play in Sunday's season openers. Vilma will attend Sunday's home game against the Washington Redskins but is unlikely to play before Week 3 as he recovers from a knee injury. Their good fortune does not extend to New Orleans coach Sean Payton (suspended for the season), interim coach Joe Vitt (six games) or general manager Mickey Loomis (eight games), whose punishments remain unchanged. After the arbitration panel set the suspensions aside, the league reinstated all four players within an hour. However, the ruling only forces Goodell to expedite his decision on the players’ appeals and NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said Goodell would "make an expedited determination of the discipline imposed" for violating the league's bounty rule. The commissioner could still ban any of the four for all or part of the season, but that didn’t stop Vilma from tweeting, : "Victory is mine!!!! -stewie griffin." One issue the arbitration panel did not address was the merit of the NFL's bounty investigation. Its judgment was based on the decision that Goodell overstepped his authority in hearing the players' appeals of their punishments. "Whether the commissioner tries to readdress the situation or not is his call," said Peter Ginsberg, Vilma's attorney. "We are certainly hoping the appeals board has made it clear the commissioner tried to grab jurisdiction and impose penalties over an area he does not have oversight. Where the league goes with the issue from this point will be interesting………

No comments: