- Manchester United would probably be wise not to indulge
Usain Bolt’s delusions of (non-soccer) grandeur. The world’s fastest man
torched the field in both the 100 and 200 meters at the Olympics this summer,
then spent the rest of his time in London politicking for a
tryout with England’s most-storied soccer team, Manchester United. He all but
begged manager Sir Alex Ferguson to sign him or at least give him a tryout
because after all, being great in one sport means an athlete must be great in
any other sport he tries, right (cue Michael Jordan’s minor league baseball
highlight video)? While Man U may not be rushing to sign Bolt, Ferguson is at
least will to give the 6-foot-5 lightning bolt in cleats a shot at another of
Europe’s biggest soccer powers, Real Madrid – sort of. Ferguson said Wednesday that
he would consider inviting Bolt to play in next year's Real Madrid Legends
match, giving the self-professed lifelong Manchester United fan a chance to
suit up with a bunch of soccer has-beens and play terrible soccer for the
amusement of the masses. It may not be the chance Bolt had in mind when he
visited Old Trafford for a game after his triple gold medal-winning performance
in London, telling the crowd that they needed to persuade Ferguson to sign him.
"He's been to Carrington a couple of times and he did help Ronaldo with
his sprinting," Ferguson said. "He's a bit of a character and a big
United fan. But it's interesting he says he would like to play in a charity
game. It could be brilliant, and next year, when we play Real Madrid's Legends
again, there could be opportunities to bring him in and see how he does."
A bit of a character? Yeah, and he’s also kind of fast. Ferguson admitted he
might owe the Jamaican sensation a favor after betting on Bolt at the Olympics
and apparently winning big. "I must thank him because that was my biggest
bet," he said. "Bolt was 4/5 to win each of them, the 100m and 200m,
a week before the tournament started. "It was a brilliant bet.” Cerainly
more brilliant than expecting Bolt to look good enough ton the pitch to earn a
full-time gig with Man U………..
- Sony is thinking big – really big. The Japanese
electronics manufacturer is officially opening up pre-orders for its massive 4K
Bravia 84X900 TV Thursday after the set was introduced at IFA 2012 last week. The
84-inch behemoth of a television has a 4K LCD edge-lit panel and a 10-unit
integrated speaker system that qualify it not only as a massively oversized way
to watch the game, but as a virtual home entertainment system all in one
massive piece. Sony is hyping the TV by saying it “provides the most immersive
picture and sound experience ever available for the home theater.” For $25,000,
it had damn well better do just that and a whole lot more. The 84-inch
monstrosity reeks of the stench typically associated with purchases rich people
make simply to they can invite their rich friends over, walk them into the room
and casually point to their new purchase as a way of pointing out that they
have something to hold over the heads of those friends. Although the set is
available for pre-order, it still does not have a firm release date and Sony
will only say that it will officially hit the market some time in November. In
between now and the, there will be plenty of time to sit back, stare at the
84-inch gap on your wall and wonder why the hell you spent $25,000 pre-ordering
something that won't be available for two months and wouldn’t have sold out
when it did go on sale, therefore rendering a pre-order pointless. Sony isn't
the first on the market with an 84-inch TV, as LG has an 84-inch 4K TV of its
own currently available in South Korea. Both sets are bound by the relative
lack of 4K content to watch on these expensive screens and probably will be for
the foreseeable
future……….
- “Bad” Vlad Putin’s staged photo ops of heroism are
awesome. Whether he is tracking a Siberian tiger, fake-finding ancient pottery
submerged beneath the waters of some random sea or posing with a polar bear,
Putin is always sure to make his money-wasting, pub-seeking adventures
memorable. He upped the ante Wednesday by flying with cranes to lead them on a migration
route. He did so in a futile attempt to make people forget he’s a domineering,
oppressive Communist dictator, and possibly because he wants to be seen as a
clean-living, nature-loving megalomaniac. For his crane stunt, he donned a
baggy white costume with a massive helmet and flew in a motorized deltaplane
light aircraft surrounded by several birds born in captivity (and possibly bred
for their very important role in helping Putin portray himself as something
other than what he is, namely a ruthless despot hell-bent on trampling all the
basic human rights of his people. "They got used to it. They are not
afraid, they are overtaking the deltaplane," Putin declared after landing.
"They are overtaking, approaching the wing from the left, from the right,
from above. Well done. Beautiful guys. Cute. They are three months old but
already quite big." The flight occurred over the Yamal peninsula as part
of an exercise aimed at prompting the birds to follow the plane and thereby prepare
them for their migration route. It was all part of the "Flight of
Hope" project to protect the endangered, white Siberian crane. At least
Putin was honest enough to admit that it was his idea to fly the deltaplane,
although it appeared suspiciously like a second man, decked out in a similar
white costume and sitting behind Putin, was actually the one steering the craft
much of the time. Putin’s attempt at flight was quickly mocked in political
cartoons and those cartoonists are probably already on their way to a Siberian
gulag. On some level, it is kind of cool that a dictator who turns 60 in
October is still doing “bucket list” type activities, assuming one can ignore
the wrongful imprisonment and likely torture of anyone who dared to speak out
in any way against the rigged election that officially returned him to power
after four years of faking him taking a backseat to “President” Dmitry Medvedev
and posing as prime minister. Then again, what can you expect from a former KGB
spy turned dictator……..
- Addicts need quick ways of paying their bills too. Pain
pill junkies and crackheads don’t always have the best credit and for that
reason, along with selling everything in their possession – and the possession
of those they know – to feed their habit, they don’t always have the money to
pay for trivial things like rent and utilities. Former pain medication addict
and current Delray Beach, Fla. resident Eric Dresdale knows all of this because
he was once deep in the throes of addiction and that addiction cost him many
relationships and his career as a real estate broker. While in rehab, he realized how
difficult it was for recovering addicts to get back on their feet given their
down and out financial status and lack of a job. Even with a job, there is the
problem of having the money to purchase the things that created the mess in the
first place. One thought led to another and eventually, Dresdale stumbled upon
a brilliant idea: a special, prepaid debit card for recovering addicts. "It
was almost like learning how to walk again. I had to redevelop all these life
skills," Dresdale said of his own recovery. His idea for rebullding life
skills has led him to a partnership with MasterCard to create a prepaid card
that let's family members see every purchase - and can't be used at bars, strip
clubs and ATMs. He calls it "The Next Step Card" and believes it will
create family unity for those trying to help their loved one get their life
back together after a bout with addiction. "Our hope is that they work
with the person they get the card for in setting up budgets in different
categories,” he explained. There is always the chance that desperate addicts
will buy legitimate items with the card and then trade, say, a two-month supply
of laundry detergent and breakfast cereal to their dealer for a vial of Vicodin
or an 8-ball of coke, but one small piece of plastic can't be expected to fix
everything that ails the addict on the mend.………..
- Owning a piece of musical history is a big draw,
especially for fans of a particular artist. If a guitar pick used by Jimi
Hendrix or snare drum played by John Bonham is available, the price will be
high and the competition fierce. But is every piece of band memorabilia a
must-have item? The question seems relevant now that a tumble dryer owned by Guns N' Roses in the 1980s is currently
up for auction.
The W-10 Kenmore Dryer is fully tricked out with its very own
Guns N' Roses branded flight case and if owning a piece of equipment once used
to dry clothes that were washed after being soiled with whatever bodily fluids
Axl Rose and Co. passed onto them while having sex with everything female in
their general vicinity sounds appealing, then head on over to eBay and join in
the fun. The bidding for the dryer started at $99 and its seller wrote in the
item description: "To make room for new stuff, Guns N' Roses touring crew
recently went through the band's warehouse and cleared out a bunch of gear,
equipment and props the band no longer need. A number of items such as
amplifiers, keyboards, rack/outboard gear, guitar effects, pedal boards, staging,
props, backdrops and road cases will be listed over the next few weeks.” In
other words, better items are on the way if you’ll only be patient. Besides,
the dryer is a hefty 278 pounds, which is a) about 50 pounds lighter than Axl
Rose currently appears to be and b) way too heavy for a musical keepsake to
show off when visitors come to your home. Hopefully the dryer is worth the wait
for the winning bidder once it arrives, something that definitely could not be
said about GNR’s most recent album, “Chinese Democracy,” when it finally
dropped in 2008 after a wait of more than a decade………..
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