Tuesday, September 25, 2012

LMFAO takes a break, Notre Dame kills a rivalry and China gets an aircraft carrier


- Among all of the anti-aging secrets and miracle cures being pushed and promoted on television and across the Internet, castration is rarely among the ideas suggested to extend one’s stay on this planet. Maybe it’s time for that to change in light of the results of a study of eunuchs in Korea's royal court. In short, the study showed that men without testicles live longer. Researchers examined the court of the Chosun Dynasty and found eunuchs lived to 70 on average, or 14 to 19 years longer than "intact" men of similar socio-economic status in their culture. Furthermore, three of the 81 eunuchs studied lived to 100 or more, giving the group a centenarian rate some 130 times that in developed nations. Sure, the study is a bit dated because the dynasty ran from 1392 to 1910, but that doesn’t make it irrelevant. As part of the dynasty, boys in Korea sometimes underwent castration in order to serve as eunuchs and gain access to the privileged life of the palace. Some might argue that having one’s junk sliced off and not being able to enjoy quality time alone with the ladies is missing out on a truly privileged life, but sex just isn't for everyone. Eunuchs have been employed through history as guards or servants in harems across the Middle East and Asia. Ironically and somewhat cruelly (both to themselves and their lady loves), eunuchs in the Chosun court were allowed to marry and had families through adoption. Researchers Kyung-Jin Min of Inha University and Cheol-Koo Lee of Korea University theorized that the eunuchs’ longer lifespan was attributable to more than just their privileged lifestyle. "Except for a few eunuchs, most lived outside the palace and spent time inside the palace only when they were on duty," Min said. By comparison, the kings of the dynasty spend their entire lives inside the palace and had an average lifespan of just 47 years. Findings from the study were published in the always-riveting journal Current Biology…………


- The end is near for one of the longest-running rivalries in college football. Notre Dame and Michigan have done battle on the gridiron since 1887, but the series will reach an abrupt end after 2014 as the Fighting Irish enter a new arrangement with the ACC. Notre Dame has long been a member of the now-downtrodden Big East, but will join the ACC in every sport except football and hockey, but the football team will play five ACC foes every season as part of the agreement. Those five mandated games mean less schedule space for the many rivalries the Irish have developed as an independent over the years and Michigan is the first casualty after Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick sent a letter to Michigan AD David Brandon, canceling the games from 2015 to 2017. The two schools extended their contract in 2007, taking the series through the 2031 season, with a provision allowing either side to opt out with three years’ notice. Both schools announced this summer that a two-year break is coming in the 2018 and 2019 campaigns, but said they planned to resume the series in the years following. "The decision to cancel games in 2015-17 was Notre Dame's and not ours," Brandon said in an official statement. "We value our annual rivalry with Notre Dame but will have to see what the future holds for any continuation of the series. This cancellation presents new scheduling opportunities for our program and provides a chance to create some new rivalries." Jettisoning Michigan will allow Notre Dame to hang on to rivalry games with the likes of Navy, Stanford and USC while still fulfilling their ACC responsibilities. Notre Dame won the most recent game with Michigan last weekend, besting them 13-6. Brandon claimed he was handed Swarbrick’s letter on the field in South Bend, Ind., about an hour before Saturday night's game. "I put the letter in my pocket and didn't bother to read it right away because I was focused on the game we were about to play," Brandon said. "I read it on the way home Sunday morning." What a fun ride home that must have been for Brandon and his traveling party…………


- “Animal House” lives on at the University of Tennessee…which apparently isn’t a good thing, even if the 1980s cult classic college comedy is still beloved to this day. The wrath of the university is raining down upon the Phi Kappa Alpha fraternity at UT after an alleged "alcohol enema" incident at the chapter's house on campus over the weekend. The university has already suspended the fraternity for 30 days or until a decision is made about the chapter's future and the fraternity can not operate at all during that time. Additionally, the Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity said Monday that it had also placed the chapter under immediate administrative suspension. What exactly is the problem here? The drama seems to stem from student Alexander Broughton being dropped off at UT Medical Center around 1:30 a.m. Saturday in critical condition and unresponsive, rocking a blood-alcohol content level greater than 0.4, which is a) five times the legal limit for driving, b) considered toxic and c) potentially deadly. Investigators showed up at the PIKE house Saturday morning and found several other people, including three men, passed out – the sure sign that a great night was had on Friday. After a diligent search to find witnesses sober enough to participate in interviews, investigators determined the fraternity members had used rubber tubing to give each other alcohol enemas, which expedites the process of alcohol entering the blood stream because it bypasses the liver's filters. Simply put, you get drunk faster. Showing that university police truly are a clueless and toothless entity, the UT Police Department said this is the first incident on campus that they are aware of which involved this process. Smart money is on this being far from the first time the practice has taken place on the campus. Lost in all of the uproar is the skill exhibited by the fraternity in throwing this rager because the university police department said it did not receive any complaints or tips about a large party or event at the PIKE house on Friday night or Saturday morning. No charges are pending in the case at this time and the university only issued an official statement letting everyone know it is “are currently conducting an investigation into allegations involving the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity chapter and incidents that occurred over the weekend.” Amazingly, this is not the first time that UT's PIKE chapter has run into trouble.  The last incident was a rather pedestrian 2008 mini-scandal in which pledges were allegedly asked to do push-ups on broken glass and the Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity investigated and kicked out 25 of the chapter's active members…………


- Welcome to the club, China. The other eight members of the club may not be happy to welcome their newest member, but China doesn’t really give a damn. The Communist hellhole brought its first aircraft carrier into service Tuesday, raising the country’s military capability while simultaneously pouring premium gasoline on the burning fires of dissent raging between it and its regional neighbors. The carrier was christened Liaoning -- after the port where the carrier was significantly overhauled after being bought from Ukraine – and although it is significantly smaller than America’s super carriers, size doesn’t matter….that much when aircraft carriers are the topic. Large or small, the newest addition to China’s navy could still potentially have an impact on territorial disputes in the region. China's settlement of islands disputes within the region could become more difficult with other nations even more wary of what the Chinese are capable of. The most contentious dispute has been with Japan, which is locked in a bitter battle with China over ownership of islands claimed by both countries. The Japanese government upped the ante earlier this month by purchasing the East China Sea islands, called Senkaku in Japan and Diaoyu in China, from their private owner. Chinese military observers believe the new aircraft carrier will play an important role in and defense of its maritime rights and interests and the China News Service, speaking as a zero-credibility government mouthpiece, wrote that the Liaoning would have “far-reaching influence on protecting China’s territory, safety and development and to make the world more peaceful.” Joining the nine-nation club of carrier-equipped navies was met with plenty of pomp, circumstance and fanfare. Dictator/President Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao presided over the ceremonies and China's Ministry of Defense welcomed the new ship, declaring that it would "raise the overall operational strength of the Chinese navy." The carrier can reportedly hold 30 fixed-wing fighters, one-third of the total American Nimitz class carriers can carry. On a somewhat positive note for Chinese dissidents within the country, the aircraft carrier cannot be used to run over protestors in Tiananmen Square……


 - Great news has leaked in the music world, where the glorified club dancers who go by the handle LMFAO are taking a hiatus from making terrible music together. The news would be even better if Redfoo and nephew Sky Blu were taking time away from music entirely, but they are only going their separate ways for the time being to pursue solo projects. Redfoo announced the hiatus, explaining the duo have no immediate plans to record together. "I feel like we've been doing this for so long, five or six years,” he said. "And we're kind of like saying, well, let's just do what's natural and just kind of explore that, instead of like forcing it all the time." Trust us, R., we feel like we’ve been suffering through the insipid musical idiocy of “Party Rock Anthem” for at least six or seven years. On the charts, LMFAO has been successful since the release of their 2011 sophomore album "Sorry for Party Rocking," notching a pair of No. 1 hits on the Hot 100, "Party Rock Anthem" and "Sexy and I Know It." Both songs are musically juvenile and imbecilic and therefore naturally appeal to the lowest-common-denominator musical masses. Further cementing their status as musically worthless doofuses, LMFAO also appeared alongside Madonna at the Super Bowl halftime show in February. The pulled a worthless win for Billboard's Song of the Summer in 2011, performed at the 2012 Billboard Music Awards and never exhibited a shred of actual musical talent at any of those places. But wait….there’s more. Redfoo also co-produced the pop-crappy Carly Rae Jepsen's new single "This Kiss,” so maybe LMFAO not recording together will actually inflict more damage on music than them working on a new album as a group. Even with LMFAO on the back burner, Redfoo insists he’ll keep on party rocking. "I was really passionate about bringing party music to the world, so I will always be making some kind of party music,” he promised…………

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