- Attention anyone who believes that San Francisco 49ers receiver Michael Crabtree is actually prepared to sit out this season and re-enter the NFL draft in 2010, I have three words: consider the source. That source would be David Wells, Crabtree's cousin and adviser. “We are prepared to do it," Wells said. "Michael just wants fair-market value. They took him with the 10th pick and you have Darrius Heyward-Bey [the seventh overall pick by the Oakland Raiders] getting $38 million? This week is crucial. Michael was one of the best players in the draft and he just wants to be paid like one of the best players. This week is very crucial.” Now I don’t speak crazy, but what I think D. Wells is trying to say is that Crabtree is a better player than Heyward-Bey and should be paid as such. After all, every single draft expert had it ranked that way and every mock draft had Crabtree going much higher than Heyward-Bey. Here’s the problem: contracts aren’t based on where YOU feel that you SHOULD have been drafted. The NFL would have a big problem on its hands if it allowed draft picks to dictate their salary based on where they felt they should have been selected because everyone thinks they should have gone much higher than they did. Todd McShay’s final mock draft is not the barometer by which your rookie contract will be determined. But the hilarious thing is that I’m pretty sure Crabtree knows this and his agent, Eugene Parker, also knows this. I’m also fairly sure that niehter Crabtree nor Parker have any intention of sitting out the year, but there’s Crabtree’s crazy cousin/adviser bumping his gums and making those idle threats. Parker went out of his way to deny Wells’ claim, saying, “You've known me a long time and I'm not a guy who makes threats. Nor am I a guy who negotiates in the public. I don't know where this came from but no such threat has been made.” Yeah, well you’d better tell crazy cousin David that, because he seems to believe otherwise. He may not actually be Crabtree’s agent, but he doesn’t seem to know or care. As such, he’s making Crabtree look bad and unless that’s something Mike doesn’t care about, he needs to tell his cousin to zip it……….
- It may have taken Charles Colburn 67 years, but dammit, he finally earned his high school diploma. But no, the Bangor, Maine resident isn’t just some brain-dead tool who was too lazy or stupid to finish high school the first time around; he has a good reason why he never graduated. Like most men of his generation, Colburn was swept up in the whirling dervish of World War II. He and many of his peers left school early to enlist in the armed services and didn’t give it a second thought. So in 1942, he left Bangor High School to enlist in the army even though he was just a few credits shy of earning his high school diploma. “When I go to bed at night there's a lot of things that come to my mind, but I've never forgotten that high school diploma," he said recently. Doing something noble and heroic to serve his country wasn’t enough to assuage his guilt over bailing on high school and that unsettled feeling in his stomach led him to visit current school superintendent Betsy Webb earlier this summer to see about getting his diploma. “I never thought I'd get it. I dreamed of it, but I never thought I'd get it,” Colburn admitted. Webb embraced the idea of making this veteran’s dream come true and on Wednesday afternoon, that dream became a reality. In the James Doughty School auditorium, Colburn received his high school diploma, was surrounded by his friends and family. “Charles Colburn, it is my honor as the superintendent of the Bangor schools to present you with this diploma from Bangor High School on your 87th birthday,” Webb proclaimed. So where does this honor rank for Colburn? He explained that he already has a whole wall filled with certificates and awards, but the diploma will be in a place of honor, right in the middle of all of them. “By God, it's a wonderful thing, really is good, thank you very much," Colburn said as he accepted his diploma. “When people say, 'Did you graduate?' I'll say yes I graduated. I'll be proud, you know, that I did and received that diploma.” Congrats to him for making a dream come true, here’s a guy who definitely deserved it……
- Falling on an arena floor is so hard on the knees…and head….and neck….and shoulder, for that matter. Sorry for the bad Aerosmith pun, but there were just so many to choose from after Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler fell from the stage during a concert at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in western South Dakota Thursday and was airlifted to a hospital. Tyler, 61, reportedly suffered minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury, though his injuries don’t appear to be nearly as serious as they could have been. According to witnesses, Tyler fell off the stage as the band was performing "Love In an Elevator" and was then assisted backstage before being rushed to the Rapid City regional Hospital. The show was one of the many stops on Aerosmith’s summer geezer-rock tour with ZZ Top, although make no mistake about it, Aerosmith can still rock despite their age. However, this is decidedly bad news for Tyler, who also did a stint in rehab last year to address a dependency on pain and sleep medication. It remains to be seen how much of the remainder of the tour can be salvaged in light of Tyler’s injuries, but I do want to wish him a full and speedy recovery because I am still looking forward to that new album from Aerosmith that will be finished once the band concludes this tour and gets back into the studio. Get some rest, get back on your feet and make sure you know where the edge of the stage is next time, Steven……..
- The map is shrinking for you, idiots who feel you need to text while driving. On Thursday, Illinois became the 17th state on Thursday to ban texting while driving. Gov. Pat Quinn signed an amendment to the Illinois Vehicle Code that prohibits writing, sending or receiving text messages while driving. Now I’m sure that his predecessor, Gov. Rod Blagojevich, would have done the same thing - if you’d bribed him enough to put pen to paper. However, Quinn put his signature on this bill and addressed an issue serious enough that it has also caught the attention of the federal government. There are exceptions under the new law for drivers who pull over to text or shift their car into park or neutral to message while stopped in traffic. I don’t have a beef with those, because if your car is stationary then you aren’t putting anyone in danger. Sure, you might be so wrapped up butchering the English language by texting your friends with BFF’s, LOL’s and l8r’s, but at least that’s not putting lives in danger. Trying to send a text while driving 70 mph in the left lane on the expressway, adjusting the radio and looking for an opening to get around the slow-moving idiot in front of you does put others in harm’s way. That’s probably why Illinois joined Oregon, New Hampshire, Alaska, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Louisiana, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, North Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington and the District of Columbia in banning texting while driving. It’s also the likely reason why four U.S. senators announced their plan to push for a federal ban on July 29. There actually isn’t that much research to base any potential national law on, as very few studies have been done to examine the correlation between a) texting while driving and having an accident and b) the impact no-texting laws have on driving safety. A Virginia Tech Transportation Institute study found that truck drivers who texted while driving were 23 times more likely to crash or nearly get into wrecks. The study compared the accident risk among drivers texting, dialing, talking, listening or reaching for an electronic device and found that texting posed the greatest accident risk. But even with the dearth of studies, there are a few very public examples of people texting and causing horrific accidents to use as a means to inflame the public and create outrage. For example, there was that incident last September when a California commuter train engineer missed a stop signal while trading text messages with a friend, collided with a freight train and caused a crash that killed 25 people. Oh, and there was that time in May when the operator of a Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority trolley was charged with gross negligence after he admitted he had been texting seconds before the collision with another trolley. So one-third of our states have now outlawed texting while driving and the feds are looking to enact a national ban…..text behind the wheel while you can, America….just don’t do it anywhere near me…….
- Tailgating is a vital part of the fan experience in football, especially college football. Being from a college where tailgating has never been much of a factor, I can attest to how much not having it hurts the atmosphere at a game. At schools where tailgating exists, it’s a key part of game day and those who take part have a pretty strict routine for their tailgating. Depending on the school and its geographical location, that routine can vary. Certain places have certain foods as tailgating staples, some schools involve the band, cheerleaders and other spirit groups. But one constant in any tailgating setting is clearly alcohol. People like to drink before attending a football game, no doubt. While your idea of fun at a game might be a hot dog, a Coke and a foam finger, but getting hammered prior to kickoff is just as essential for other fans. That’s probably why fans of the University of Central Florida’s football team are extremely livid about a change the school’s administration has made to its rules and regulations for tailgating at UCF games. For years now, fans have been able to set up their tailgate and start the boozing at 7 a.m., giving them ample time to get their buzz on before even a noon kickoff. However, the school’s 20-member game-day committee, which includes representatives from the university, student government, community and athletics association, has made a recommendation that UCF open tailgate lots and waivers allowing fans to drink alcohol on campus at 8 a.m. for games starting before 6 p.m. and at noon if a home game starts at 6 p.m. or later. Yes, fans will either have to start their drinking somewhere else or wait an extra hour to start downing the Coors and Natural Light if they want to do so in the parking lot at the stadium. Needless to say, the hardcore UCF drunks, er, fans are infuriated. "For years and years, I was the first person at UCF football games," UCF fan John Warbington fumed. "I'm not exaggerating. ... I can't believe they're taking this game-day experience away from me.” Listen to this guy, he sounds legitimately hurt and wounded. And no, he’s not alone. “It's not a minor logistical change. It's a huge change," fan Dan Brosen said. " ... People can't do anything about it this year, but I promise they will stop giving to athletics next year.” Yes, you read that correctly. Dan Brosen is implying that people will stop financially supporting the athletic department because it cut an hour off their allotted drinking time at tailgate parties. Dude, you know you’re a hardcore alkie if you’ve been scratching checks to the school for years but will no longer do so because they make you wait an extra hour to get your drink on. But I’m guessing that anyone who is that upset by this new rule isn’t likely to also be an extremely wealthy benefactor writing huge checks to UCF, just a hunch on my part. Having said all of that, I do want to assist those looking to besiege those responsible for this new rule with truckloads of hate, vitriol and bile. In addition to the 20-member game day committee, you’re also going to want to tar and feather UCF President John Hitt, who approved the new rules. Vice Admiral Al Harms is chairman of the game-day rules committee, so he should also be a prime target for the angry, drunken segment of the UCF fan base. Harms said the group was concerned about fans tailgating and drinking alcohol for more than 10 hours on game days. "We felt it was excessive," he said. "It wasn't setting the appropriate atmosphere we wanted to have on campus." Umm, why not? What could possibly go wrong when a bunch of raging drunks go to a game featuring a violent, contact sport about which they are extremely passionate and do so with a BAC of somewhere around .16? This is what college athletics are all about: going nuts, getting drunk and enjoying the hell out of your experience. That’s how most student-athletes handle the experience anyhow, so why not the fans too? Who gives a rat’s ass about promoting public safety and serving a interests including the academic departments not participating in football games and neighborhoods surrounding UCF, which these new rules purport to do? What’s worse is that Harms freely admits that the rule changes were not in response to any tailgating problems during the past year.” I hate to go all cliché on you, Al, but if the system of fans getting obscenely drunk before the sun rises in the morning of a football game isn’t broke, don’t fix it. “It's mind-boggling and very frustrating," fan Amy Branon said. Well said Amy, well said. UCF Coach George O'Leary agrees with me and told fans at a season-ticket sales event, "I'm on your side," along with plans to protest the changes. If you’re looking to lend your support to this worthy cause, a Facebook group (what else?) protesting the changes has already garnered more than 1,000 members. Fight on, UCF drunks, fight on…….
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