- Some might consider the closure of 32 privately owned radio stations that dared to speak out against a government and a proposed law to punish "media crimes" as indicators that a regime is looking to silence dissent and rip freedom of speech from its people. The United States government and the Obama administration would seem to be among those people after voicing their fears Venezuelan Dictator/President Hugo Chavez is slowly repressing the rights of opposition groups and media, that according to a recent U.S. intelligence report. The report postulates that Chavez's government is "moving forcefully to silence critics" based on the decision to close down those stations, all of which have repeatedly voiced anti-Hugo sentiments. His history with the national media is sketchy at best, as my boy Hugo sparred with private television stations in 2002, accusing them of being complicit in his brief ouster. That hostility resurfaced in 2007, when Chavez was a driving force behind denying a license renewal in 2007 to one broadcaster he said cooperated with the opposition. However, those indiscretions pale in comparison to this newest act of oppression, which has drawn rapt international interest. Closing down 32 radio stations and two television broadcasters and pushing legislation that would create prison sentences for people who commit "media crimes" has the international community rightly concerned. "The media crimes bill is the most blatant example of the government's steady encroachment on media freedom in an effort to establish a media monopoly and stifle freedom of expression," said an unclassified U.S. intelligence report, dated August 3. As usual, Chavez government is trying to convince everyone that they are simply mistaken and misinformed in their criticisms and that there is nothing to worry about. Of course, those denials would be easier to accept if Chavez supporters weren’t busy attacking the studios of the Globovision television station, one of few remaining networks that gives a voice to the opposition. Normally I appreciate people lobbing tear gas and destroying property, but not in this case. Even the country’s legislature is lining up against the latest round of Chavez crimes. The National Assembly opposed the media crimes law so strongly that it was tabled for the time being. I don’t think the legislature buys the excuse that the law is needed or that the radio stations Chavez shut down were violating the law by operating with expired broadcasting concessions, failing to renew such licenses or illegally holding a concession. The National Assembly and I aren’t alone, either; the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization this month released a statement expressing concern about the closure of the radio stations. We’re on to your act, Hugo, so step your game up and try to rein in your dictatorial ways………

- How to describe my reaction to the 47th retirement/unretirement of the egotistical, self-centered, narcissistic blowhard that is Brett Favre…..hmm. Well, maybe I could go with outrage, since Favre has spent yet another season yo-yoing back and forth between retiring or returning, hijacking the NFL news cycle, jerking around yet another team - the Minnesota Vikings - and showing his true, selfish colors and massive ego one more time. But Favre has done several times too many and so I can’t really muster genuine outrage here, not for an over-the-hill, delusional has-been who is nowhere near the elite player he used to be. How about excitement for the prospect of a future hall of famer coming back to play for a team that has a legitimate shot to contend for Super Bowl berth? No, I hate this piece of sh*t too much for that. So what am I left with? The simple answer is complete, total and utter indifference and numbness. I don’t care if Favre plays or if he doesn’t play because that’s the only way I can tolerate his infuriating football existence. He waffles annually on whether he will return the following season or not. He is too lazy to go through a full training camp like his teammates and doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by not doing even 50 percent of the preseason work they do. He doesn’t give a damn if the fans hate him for his selfish act and has the arrogance to say that true fans will understand. Dude allegedly didn’t even bother to learn his receivers’ names with the New York Jets last season and didn’t even dress in the same locker room as everyone else because he’s just that special. See, if I ponder these things too long I become irate and want to go find Favre and punch him in the face - repeatedly. Plus, the Vikings aren’t winning the Super Bow this season anyhow, so why spend any more time thinking about them and their over-the-hill, egomaniacal new quarterback……….

 

- Right about now, I wish I lived in Durham, N.C. No, I’m not a big fan of coach Mike Krzyzewski and his Duke basketball team - in fact, I hate Duke. The reason I wish I lived in Durham is so I could go mano a mano with a group of idiot locals who think that they are going to shut down people who would speed in their neighborhood by posting moronic signs threatening those speeders with the possibility of being shot by a paintball gun. This group of tools, which calls itself Angry Neighbors With Paintball Guns, posted signs at locations throughout the city, warning motorists to slow down or risk being shot at with a paintball gun. "We received top story coverage on local television news, more than half a dozen requests for interviews from local media outlets, and generated hundreds of comments on blogs, media Web sites and Facebook," said one group member, who declined to give his or her name. "We clearly touched a nerve in the city of Durham.” No, ass hat, you didn’t. People think you’re a bunch of freaking tools who are doing something so stupid that stopping and taking a moment to laugh and marvel at your act it apropos. Not only that, your group won't even say if the signs are meant to serve only as an attention-grabber or if it plans to shoot paintballs at vehicles. Perhaps that’s because you idiots know that actually following through on your threat would be a crime and make you no better than the traffic offenders you seem to hate so much. "The Durham Police Department enforces traffic laws, and we plan to continue to be responsive to traffic concerns from residents throughout the city," said Kammie Michael, a Durham police spokeswoman. Michael correctly points out that not only would shooting a vehicle with a paintball be a crime, it could also be a distraction for some drivers and make the problem worse - i.e. cause an accident. How great would that make you feel, Angry Neighbors With Paintball Guns, if someone was speeding through your neighborhood, you shot them with your paintball gun and that distraction caused them to lose control of their vehicle, drive up onto the sidewalk and kill someone? You people are Grade A a-holes and I’m sincerely considering a move to Durham simply so I can speed in your neighborhood every single day of the week…….

 

- If you’re like me and have been extremely worried of late about the financial well-being of Steven Spielberg, worry no longer. On Monday, Steven Spielberg and partner Stacey Snider struck a deal that will provide financing for DreamWorks Studios' partnership with one of India's richest men. The agreement between DreamWorks and Anil Ambani, chairman of India's Reliance BIG Entertainment will allow Spielberg’s studio to get back to making movies. Also in on the contract are Walt Disney Co. and loans made by a syndicate of banks, with the total cash infusion coming to $875 million. Under the terms of the deal, Disney will distribute and market about six DreamWorks Studios films around the world each year, with the exception of India, where Reliance will have rights. The reason Spielberg and Snider found themselves in this position is that last year, Spielberg severed ties with Paramount Pictures and began rebuilding DreamWorks into an independent studio. A ballsy move to be sure, but for someone with the industry credibility and legacy this guy has, not as a big of a risk as it would otherwise be. Observers have labeled the deal as "Hollywood meets Bollywood," but Spielberg and partner Stacey Snider will retain creative control over productions. “This will allow us to move ahead quickly into production with our first group of films," Snider and Spielberg said in a statement. In other words, it gives us money to make movies. Reliance BIG Entertainment should also benefit from the association with an established name like DreamWorks, so Ambani is getting a pretty sweet deal as well. “Our partnership with Stacey and Steven is the cornerstone of our Hollywood strategy as we grow our film interests across the globe," Ambani said. "Given our faith in the business plan that they presented to us and despite the current economic climate, we were always confident that this day would come.” This isn't Ambani’s first connection with Hollywood, as he’s also inked development deals with several other Hollywood production companies this year, including those owned by Nicolas Cage, Tom Hanks, George Clooney and Jim Carrey. His company’s ownership of hundreds of theater screens across South Asia should allow DreamWorks to extend its reach into new markets. And lastly, this deal would not have been complete without a freaking cornucopia of banking giants, including Bank of America, City National Bank, Wells Fargo, Comerica, Union Bank of California, SunTrust, California Bank & Trust and Israel Discount Bank. Yes, Israel Discount Bank. If nothing else, they’ll help keep this operation kosher…..just kidding. The first movie to go into production from this partnership will be "Harvey," an adaptation of a Pulitzer-winning play by playwright Mary Chase. It will actually be a remake of a movie, starring Jimmy Stewart, that was made in 1950. In other words, Steve Spielberg may be involved, but even he can’t escape the Hollywood trend of constantly recycling old ideas instead of coming up with new ones…….

 

- Great news everyone! We are now one giant step closer to developing a fully artificial tongue. For those of you who have been lagging behind in your scientific research in the area of tasting sweetness in food and drinks fantasy leagues, this could be your chance to catch up. Thanks to a handheld device the size of a business card that can be used to "taste" the sweetness in food and drinks, the artificial tongue could become a reality sooner rather than later. Thanks to scientists at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, this new device now exists. Researches explain that when the device is dipped into a food or drink, a series of color-coded dots reveals what type of sweetener is present. "It's very much the same process that's involved in litmus paper," lead researcher Kenneth Suslick stated. The sensor is sophisticated enough to distinguish among 14 kinds of sweeteners, from natural sugars to artificial products such as Splenda. Possible applications for the device, other than the aforementioned artificial tongue, could include use by the food-service industry in developing testing methods that are less expensive and time-consuming than taste-testing or laboratory work. With the expediency of the new sensors - they are able to produce a result in two minutes - the time needed to do testing will be cut by some 93 percent. “As far as real-world applications at this point, it would be more of a quality-control device," said researcher Christopher Musto, who presented the device this week to the national convention of the American Chemical Society. Now the challenge ahead of these researchers is to see if they can find a way to use this technology to measure the four other types of taste that can be detected by the human tongue - salty, sour, bitter and umami (richness or meatiness). So 20 percent of the way to a fully-functional artificial tongue, 80 percent to go………