The Raiders punching it out, Honduras in chaos and how to get high off your money

- They may suck, they may have made the single biggest reach in April’s NFL draft and they might be headed for last place once again, but don’t you dare call the Oakland Raiders boring. Even though the silver and black might be a talent-deprived bunch of misfits, head coach Tom Cable doesn’t exactly appear to have his eyes on the prize. If he did, he would not (allegedly) be punching one of his assistants in the face on Aug. 6 and breaking that assistant coach’s jaw. "It's an internal issue, I'm not going to comment on that," Cable said on Monday, reading right out of the PR 101 for coaches handbook. The incident in question took pace at the team's training camp headquarters in Napa, Calif., where Cable went upside defensive assistant Randy Hanson’s head and busted his face. Initially, reports were only that Hanson was punched in the jaw by another member of the Raiders staff. It wasn’t until later on that word surfaced that it was Cable who hit the third-year assistant. From the time the incident happened, it basically played out like a bad domestic abuse scene. You know, the ones in which some wife-beater-wearing loser with drug and alcohol addictions beats his woman, busts up her face and sends her to the hospital only to have her double back when pressed by the police and refuse to tell them what happened or press charges against her abusive significant other. It happens over and over, the cycle of domestic violence, but here it was intra-office violence. When he was taken to the hospital, Hanson was adamant about not wanting to pursue the matter, but staff at Queen of the Valley Hospital alerted authorities. "The victim didn't even want any police action taken," Napa Police Lt. Brian McGovern said, "but we were following hospital policy that authorities be contacted in cases where there may have been an assault.” So the alkie, drug-addled husband/boyfriend, Cable, sucker punches his woman, in this case played by Hanson, and no one wants to press charges. To that end, Cable and Hanson both got what they wanted. McGovern said that the Napa Police consider the matter closed "unless we are re-contacted by the victim, and the victim changes their mind that they want us to follow through and pursue an investigation. At this point we're not doing anything else with it.” However, the story doesn’t end there. No, just as no domestic abuse tale is complete without the abused party making up some bogus story about what really happened to them - fell down the stairs, ran into a door, dropped something heavy while moving it - this story has a similar twist. Cable and the Raiders are spinning the story by saying that what actually happened was that the head coach flipped Hanson out of his chair while Hanson was seated, causing the assistant to fall out of the chair and smack his jaw on a nearby metal cabinet. Uh-huh, sure. If that’s the best lie, er, explanation you can come up with, save it. That being said, I doubt that anything more comes out of this and I also expect that Hanson won't be with the Raiders past this season, if that long. Then, Cable will have to find someone else to punch, er, flip out of their chair during a meeting……..

- Good to know that some things never change, like 90 percent of paper money circulating in U.S. cities still containing traces of cocaine. It has been reported for years that there were traces of the Colombian nose candy on our money and I for one took heart in that. Simply put, it’s nice to know that if I can’t make it to my friendly local drug dealer for a dime bag or eight ball of blow, I can at least get a small taste simply by reaching into my wallet. Also, it’s fun trying to imagine who has used the bills you currently possess to roll and snort the Bolivian marching power and where they’ve done so. Sure, most of the places a given bill travels - ATMs, coffee shops, convenience stores, newsstands, etc. - aren’t that exciting, but the chance that some random guy used that $20 to snort blow off the stomach of a stripper at a club somewhere makes things much more interesting. Fact is, bills average 20 months in circulation and each has its chance to find its way into something tawdry and illicit. “When I was a young kid, my mom told me the dirtiest thing in the world is money," said researcher, Yuegang Zuo, a professor of chemistry and biochemistry at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth who authored the study. "Mom is always right.” Sadly enough, the amount of cocaine found on bills is not enough to get a good buzz. Those tend to be the bills not directly involved in drug use, bills that can get contaminated inside currency-counting machines at the bank. “When the machine gets contaminated, it transfers the cocaine to the other bank notes," Zuo said. In keeping with the stipulation that all scientific research “reveal” something that was already blatantly obvious, Zuo and his team also found that $5, $10, $20 and $50 bills were more likely to be positive for cocaine than $1 bills. No way, $1 bills tend to have less contact with the yayo? Well, I suppose that with inflation and what not, $1 isn't going to buy you much blow. The basic science of the Colombian nose candy sticking to money is that the coke binds to the green dye in money. Typically not enough of the drug adheres to the bill to allow you to get a good buzz, although previous studies have suggested that contaminated bills could cause in a false positive drug test if a person, such as a law enforcement officer or banker, handles contaminated currency repeatedly. In other words, look for one of those jobs if you are seeking to get a cheap, regular high without the hassle of having to finance and conceal a cocaine habit…..

- Gene Simmons is nothing if not a shrewd marketer and businessman who has found every conceivable way to turn his rock n’ roll fame into as much money as possible. The Kiss bassist and band leader has led his band into action figures, entertainment projects, clothing and anything else you can think of, so of course he and the self-proclaimed "hottest band in the land" want their part of the recent trend of old school rockers looking to make an extra buck by re-releasing old material combined with a handful of new songs to entice fans who already have all of their previous albums to buy the new offering. Following in the footsteps of Journey ("Revelation") and Foreigner ("Can't Slow Down"), Kiss will release "Sonic Boom," a three-disc set that mixes new songs, old material and video content all for the low, low price $12. Oh, and it will be available exclusively at Walmart properties starting on Oct. 6. Included in the package will be a full new album, Kiss' first since "Psycho Circus" in 1999. Simmons is already in full promotional mode, describing the 11-track set as "the best new record we've done since 'Destroyer.' It is 'Rock And Roll Over' meets 'Love Gun'...If you're a fan of our stuff from about 1977, you'll feel right at home.” The album is noteworthy in that it’s Kiss' first studio album with guitarist Tommy Thayer, and drummer Eric Singer's first since 1997's "Carnival of Souls: The Final Sessions.” Buy this package and you’ll also get a disc of Kiss greatest hits re-recorded by the original lineup and previously available in Japan, as well as a DVD filmed at a concert earlier this year in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Kiss will also channel an old school feel for the album cover, which was designed by artist Michael Doret, whose previous Kiss credit is 1976's "Rock and Roll Over.” And of course there will be a tour to promote the album, although there are currently only two scheduled dates: Sept. 25 at Detroit's Cobo Hall and a Halloween show at the Voodoo Experience festival in New Orleans City Park. As for the track listing on the album, it includes: 
Sonic Boom (new album):
"Modern Day Delilah,"
"Russian Roulette,"
"Never Enough,"
"Yes I KNow (Nobody's Perfect),"
"Stand,"
"Hot and Cold,"
"All For The Glory,"
"Danger Us,"
"I'm An Animal,"
"When Lightning Strikes," and “Say Yeah.” On Kiss Klassics (remakes):

"Deuce,"
"Detroit Rock City,"
"Shout It Out Loud,"
"Hotter Than Hell,"
"Calling Dr. Love,"
"Love Gun,"
"I Was Made For Lovin' You,"
"Heaven's On Fire,"
"Lick It Up,"
"I Love It Loud,"
"Forever,"
"Christine Sixteen,"
"Do You Love Me,"
"Black Diamond,"
"Rock And Roll All Nite." For the
 Kiss: Live in Buenos Aires DVD: "Deuce,"
"Hotter Than Hell,"
"C'mon And Love Me,"
"Watchin' You,"
"100,000 Years,” and
"Rock And Roll All Nite.” Don’t count on me to buy this release, but I’m sure some of you will and so hopefully it’s halfway decent……..

- Way to lower the bar of expectations and try to diffuse the shame of your failure before it happens, coup-installed government of Honduras. With an international delegation arriving Monday to investigate allegations of human rights abuses, the bogus Honduran government went on the record as saying that it expects a biased assessment from the panel because it is a branch of the Organization of American States, which has condemned the June 28 coup and is demanding Zelaya's reinstatement. Never mind that the delegation from the Inter-American Commission of Human Rights isn't there to approve or condemn the current regime’s legitimacy, the government needs to be on its guard and looking to paint itself in as favorable a light as possible, the truth be damned. Interim Deputy Foreign Minister Martha Alvarado was the one chosen to get out in front of this and attempt to portray the visiting delegation as bad people with an agenda before they even set foot on Honduran soil. “We must be very careful not to have great expectation of their reports," Alvarado said. “We have great reservations.” Well done, Minister. I smell bitterness with a hint of resentment, mixed in with a bogus attempt to make your regime appear like innocent victims at the mercy of the big, mean foreign dignitaries. And just what will this delegation be doing while in Honduras that’s so terrible? Well, they’ve already met with members of the Supreme Court and will spend a week meeting with other officials and civic organizations. This is not to be confused with the much-debated delegation of foreign ministers from Western Hemisphere countries that the OAS also plans to send a later this week in a bid to revive negotiations to end the country’s political crisis. In the meantime, the interim government is busy doing its douche-baggish best, arresting more than 100 pro-Zelaya protesters and throwing down “intimidating” warnings that it will no longer tolerate street blockades and other public protests. Of those arrested so far, two dozen were charged with sedition and damage to public property after violent protests - or as I call it, good, quality rioting. So let’s see, what else is on the checklist of things to do as a brutal, repressive, heinous, illegitimate regime in power by military force? Oh, how’s about silencing the voices of those who oppose you? Well, the interim government has already done that by shutting down pro-Zelaya television and radio stations, so check that off the list. Thankfully the people aren’t lying down and taking the government’s abuses of power without a fight. More than 2,000 Zelaya supporters took to the streets Monday, marching through the capital with the ousted president's wife Xiomara Castro in the lead. "The people will keep demonstrating. Hondurans have woken up," Castro said. Interim President Roberto Micheletti continues to insist that Congress legally removed the president from office for defying court orders that he drop efforts to change Honduras' constitution. In a futile attempt to soothe tensions with the United States, a delegation from the Micheletti government traveled to Washington on Monday, the second such trip by Honduran officials in a week. Micheletti insists that his government wants to prove the legitimacy of its actions and rule over Honduras to OAS members who are currently opposing it. Lots of success with that, R. Something tells me you’ll be waiting a long time for that………

- Have you been looking for that one conversation piece to really complete your property, perhaps an antique, cast iron bridge with a 10-ton weight limit? If so, here’s a great deal for you. The town of Salisbury, N.H. is giving away its 116-year-old iron bridge, but only if the acquiring party agrees to two conditions. The first is that you have to show up and haul the bridge away yourself. The second condition is that you must agree not to cut it up and sell it for scrap. So what inspires a town to give away a significant landmark like this? Well, the Pingree Bridge was built in 1983 as a one-lane structure spanning the Blackwater River and its stands as the only passage to nearby farms. However, its 10-ton limit means that it can no longer bear the weight of certain vehicles, such as a fire truck. Because it can no longer meet the town’s needs, it must go. "The town is offering the bridge if someone will move it," said resident John Kepper, the town's unofficial historian. There were many in the town who would have liked to see the bridge renovated and brought up to date, but that became a pricey proposition. “We would have liked to have seen it repaired," said resident Dawn Platte. "Apparently, repairing it is going to be almost as costly as building a new one.” Taking the pragmatic, un-sentimental route, the town’s decision makers reluctantly agreed to replace the bridge with a new one. The state plans to start construction on the new bridge next year, and the town of Salisbury hopes to have the old one removed by spring. Just like the old Pingree Bridge when it was first built, this new structure will also be state-of-the-art. In between now and spring, the town must find someone willing to take the old bridge and give it a new home or else it will simply be torn out by the state to make way for the new bridge. The fact that the old bridge is one of only two of its type in New Hampshire could make it enticing, so if you have any interest, act quickly so as to not miss out on the chance of a lifetime. If you’re interested, contact the Salisbury Town Hall ASAP…......