Friday, August 14, 2009

Sheriff Roger helps out the U.S. legal system, a melancholy happy trails to a music legend and beware of blow darts in Delaware

- Leave it to Sheriff Roger to rectify what the actual legal system could not get right. After Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte' Stallworth got drunk in South Beach, smoked some weed, climbed behind the wheel of his luxury sled, then struck and killed a pedestrian, the legal system whiffed on punishing Stallworth because a) he’s a rich, famous athlete and b) he paid off the family to keep them from pressing too hard in the case against him. Okay, so that may be over-simplifying things a bit, but the bottom line is that hitting another person with your car while high/inebriated should earn you more than a month behind bars followed by a few months of home confinement. Yet that’s what my man D. Stallworth received in the way of punishment and he walked out of the hole after that month looking to get on with his life. Sure, dude made the requisite stops on ESPN and other outlets to issue his words of contrition and remorse and said all of the right things, but he should still be sitting in jail right now and slated to remain their for another couple of years minimum. Thankfully the last man with a hammer in his hand is NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and we all know that Sheriff Roger isn’t afraid to use that hammer. After meeting with Stallworth and deliberating, the sheriff has reached a decision. Stallworth has been suspended without pay for the 2009 season for violating the NFL's personal conduct policy and its substance abuse policy, meaning he won't be reinstated until after the Super Bowl in February 2010. No, it’s not exactly doing hard time in an orange jumpsuit, but it’ll have to do. If you’d told Stallworth when he was arrested for striking and killing construction worker Mario Reyes with his BMW on March 14 that he would get a mere month in jail and a one-year unpaid suspension from the NFL, he would have been ecstatic. Who knew that the NFL commissioner packed a harder judicial punch than the legal system? In a letter to Stallworth made public Thursday, commissioner Roger Goodell said, "I believe that further consequences are necessary. There is no question that your actions had tragic consequences to an innocent man and his family, and that you have violated both the Substances of Abuse and Personal Conduct Policies. In that respect, you are clearly guilty of conduct detrimental to the integrity of and public confidence in the NFL.” Simple, direct and on point. What you have to love about this whole situation is that Michael Vick, a criminal in his own right, spent two years in prison for killing dogs and running a gambling operation, yet Stallworth takes a human life and he gets a punishment that is 1/24 of what Vick received. Nice value you’re placing on human life, U.S. legal system! Go ahead and get drunk at a swank Miami hotel bar, post a blood-alcohol level of .126, smoke some hippie lettuce and drive your car into a guy, killing him on the spot and you can spend just one month in jail. However, dare to get your gamble on and harm animals in the process, you go away for two years. Oh wait, Stallworth will also lose the remaining $745,000 on his contract with the Browns for 2009, so I’m sure that will really sting him as well. Thanks for nothing, legal system, and thanks for at least trying to administer some justice, Sheriff Roger…….

- Now here’s a guy who really wants to get ahead in the television business. Wallace Souza is the former host of a Brazilian police TV show called "Canal Livre" and authorities claim that in order to eliminate his competition and drive up ratings, Souza would order that criminal rivals be killed and then would have his camera crews arrive first on the scene. "In truth, they went as far as creating acts," said Thomas Augusto Vasconcelos, intelligence secretary for Amazonas state. "It's been determined that the crimes were committed in order to generate news for the program." Wow….not sure what to say to that. What makes this even more amazing is that Souza is a state legislator and also a drug trafficker, making him a legit triple threat of drugs, legislation and entertainment. As you’d expect, my man W. Souza is denying the allegations and claiming that the investigation is fundamentally flawed. “In all the investigations carried out by the public minister and the police, up to now they have not presented any technical evidence of any type," Souza’s attorney Francisco Balieiro said on Brazilian TV. The charges against Souza - forming a criminal gang, corrupting testimony, drug trafficking and illegal possession of firearms - are based on testimony by former Souza associate Moacir Jorge da Costa. Basically, this guy was arrested and flipped on his boy Souza so he could receive leniency from the authorities. Whether he’s lying or not, I don’t know. What I do know is that da Costa is telling some pretty heinous, amazing stories about the gang's reputed activities, including slayings. The alleged corruption is widespread, as the legislator's son, Raphael, belonged to the criminal gang and fifteen people connected with Souza, among them police officers and a chief, have also been arrested. What Balieiro is arguing is that police and public ministry officials did not have standing to investigate the TV show host because he is a legislator. It is because of his legislative immunity that Souza remains free right now, but don’t expect that to last. The only thing that prosecutor Pedro Bezerra is conceding is that he could not bring murder charges against Souza for lack of concrete evidence. He still believes that the TV personality/legislator is linked to as many as six slayings, but Souza has not been directly charged in any of them. And I’m actually selling him short by calling him a triple threat, because dude is actually a quadruple threat. He is also a former police officer who left the force more than 20 years ago after being implicated in a fuel theft case. His gigs do have a curious habit of ending in controversy, though. The police job that ceased after a fuel theft case, his TV show going off the air because of this current investigation…..dude appears to be something of a scumbag. Yet he received the most votes in the Amazonas state in the most recent elections to win his legislative seat. Souza fittingly lives in the jungle city of Manaus, the capital of Amazonas state, a region of Brazil known for its prevalent lawlessness. Perhaps never has an elected official so well represented his constituency……..

- A very melancholy happy trails to music legend Les Paul, who passed away Thursday at the age of 94. Paul, whose innovations with the electric guitar and studio technology made him a pillar in the music world, died in White Plains, New York, from complications of severe pneumonia. Among his creations were multitrack recording, tape delay and the solid-body guitar that bears his name, the Gibson Les Paul, a guitar that has become one of the iconic instruments in rock. What was truly amazing about Paul is that he was an excellent guitar player himself who continued playing at clubs into his 90s despite being hampered by arthritis. “The world has lost a truly innovative and exceptional human being today. I cannot imagine life without Les Paul," said Henry Juszkiewicz, Chairman and CEO of Gibson Guitar. "He would walk into a room and put a smile on anyone's face. His musical charm was extraordinary and his techniques unmatched anywhere in the world.” As with many celebrities, Les Paul’s real name was actually something other than what the public knew him by. He was born Lester William Polfuss in Waukesha, Wisconsin, on June 9, 1915. He had a habit of taking things apart and figuring out what made them work, even as a kid. "I had to build it, make it and perfect it," Paul said in 2002. He began his musical career in decidedly un-rock n’ roll fashion, playing with bandleader Fred Waring and several big band singers, including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and the Andrews Sisters, in the 1930s and '40. He also had his own group, the Les Paul Trio. By the 1950s, he was married and produced some major hits with his then-wife, Mary Ford, including "How High the Moon" and "Vaya Con Dios." One interesting note about his career is that in 1948, after being involved in a severe car accident, he asked the doctor to set his arm permanently in a guitar-playing position. Maybe that helped make him the success that he was, which would be kinda cool. All along the way, Paul never stopped playing with electronics and Crosby helped fuel his habit by presenting him with an early audiotape recorder. Paul modified it and the process eventually led to multitrack recording, which is now the industry standard. Still, the Gibson Les Paul is what most people will remember him for and with good reason. The guitar was a descendent of a solid-body guitar he built in the early 1940s -- "The Log" -- and ironically enough, the company he worked with on the first guitar wanted nothing to do with the new guitar for a decade. It wasn’t until rival Fender got in on the action that Gibson finally agreed to use the new model and it was introduced in the public in 1952. Since then, nearly every big-name rocker worth a thing has used the Gibson Les Paul, including Jimmy Page and Jimi Hendrix. Of course, Paul l is enshrined in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Grammy Hall of Fame, the Inventors Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame. “I learned a long time ago that one note can go a long way if it's the right one," he said of his craft, "and it will probably whip the guy with 20 notes.” Well said, L.P., you’ll be missed………..

- Beware of blow darts in Delaware. More specifically, be aware of some idiot running around popping people with blow darts and sending them to hospitals for treatment. Two more victims have been reported in the "blow dart attacks" in Delaware, one of whom is a 17-year-old boy hit in the hand on Route 40 in the town Bear on Monday. The next day, a woman was hit as she was jogging on Route 7, just north of Route 72. These two attacks were actually the first in a series of them but were reported only after more recent victims came forward to report their incidents. "This has to be one of the strangest incidents of late and in the years I've been a state trooper I've never seen anything like this. It almost seems like a scene from an Indiana Jones movie," said Cpl. Jeffrey Whitmarsh of Delaware State Police said. In addition to the two attacks, I just mentioned, other victims have been blow-darted under equally bizarre circumstances. One man was out for a bike ride and headed northbound on Route 7 when he felt a burning sensation in his leg. He looked down and to his amazement, saw a blow dart sticking out of his leg. The man rode to a nearby store, stopped and pulled out the dart, which measured about four inches in length. After news of that incident came out, Katie Shannon called police to report that she was shot in the back with a blow dart Monday night as she rode her bike in Wilmington. “A truck passes and I get this sting in my back, and it hurt enough for me to be like, "Ow!" Shannon said. Still, she kept going because she figured it was simply a piece of debris from the road. It wasn’t until a friend riding with her spotted the dart that Shannon realized what had happened. Despite getting a dart in her leg, she didn’t fully realize what had happened until she saw reports of other victims on the news. Of course, she’s now busy getting tested for HIV and tetanus because who the heck knows what could have been in that needle. “Next week I'm going to go in and get blood work. But that's what I'm scared about, not knowing," Shannon explained. Hopefully by then the cops will at least have some leads on a possible suspect, because at this point they have nothing. The only lead at this point is that the first two reported victims both saw a pickup truck drive by shortly after being shot. Based on the strength of those reports, good ol’ Cpl. Whitmarsh issued the ultimate obvious, speak-first-think-later statement, "Not everybody in a pickup truck is a suspect.” Really genius? Just because two people shot with blow darts saw a pickup truck drive by shortly after being shot doesn’t mean that everyone in a pickup truck is a suspect? Awesome police work, bro. The state of Delaware is in good hands with Mensas like you on patrol and I am certain that whoever is responsible will be caught verrrrry soon……..

- Times are tough for people across the United States and the football program at New Mexico State is no different. After the school’s board of regents informed athletic director McKinley Boston that he needed to trim $1.5 million from the department's budget, Boston went about informing various coaches throughout the athletic department that they needed to do their part. No one was exempt, not even the football program, which is the prime money maker and biggest pub-getter at any school that has a football program (well, except for perhaps Duke). To help the athletic department reduce its overall operations figure to about $17 million for the current academic year, first-year coach DeWayne Walker and his staff scoured their own budget to determine what cuts could be made. Ultimately, they arrived at a conclusion that their players could not be happy to hear: snacks would be cut. Yes, even having snacks for college football players seems a bit childish and out of place (before or after recess or in place of nap time?), but the reality is that with players practicing twice a day now in the intense summer heat, their bodies need fuel. The Aggies eat dinner as a team at 6 p.m., then sit through meetings until 9:30 p.m. Practices are earlier in the day and between sessions, a snack provides needed calories to fuel their work. Also, by day’s end their stomachs can be running close to empty and a snack before bed does the trick. "We practice so hard. We've got to get some extra stuff in the belly after dinner," running back Tonny Glynn said. "It's been really hot every day. We're losing weight from all the workouts." Offensive lineman Mike Grady agreed, saying, “Definitely, it helps to go to bed with something in your stomach.” So when coaches had to cut snack money to get their budget in line, where would that food come from? Well, this week Walker and his staff sent an email out to fans and boosters asking them to donate after-practice or late-night snacks for hungry players “It's a decision we had to make with regard to our meals," Walker said. "There are a lot of other areas where we have to make tough choices with how we're going to spend our money.” Fortunately for the Aggies, their fans have already responded in fine fashion with some quality grub for the team. Six donors rolled up on campus within a day to give the players food to munch on. “It's good stuff like trail mix or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," linebacker Jamar Cotton said. "We had a guy bring in a bunch of watermelons. That was great. The team was excited. It was like little kids getting lollipops.” Oh, and for idiots who might view the team's request for snacks as juvenile (Now who would bring up something like that?), Walker has a message: “Everyone's taking cuts," he said. "I don't want anybody to read into it that we're the poorest program in the country. We're not. And we're not the only mid-level school that has to go through these kinds of issues.” So lay off the Aggies and if you’re in the Las Cruces area, see if there is a sale on Funjuns or cereal bars at the local Sam’s Club……..

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