"Dancing With the (D-List) Stars returns, Milwaukee's mayor takes a beating and a pro wrassler with HGH - shocker

- Here’s a true shocker: a current professional wrestler arrested on charges of possessing human growth hormone. You’d think that after former pro wrassler Chris Benoit had his life wrecked so completely by steroids that he suffered a terrible ‘roid rage bad enough to cause him to murder his wife and son and then kill himself that other wrestlers would think twice about putting any performance enhancers into their systems, but sadly and predictably that has not been the case. Not if current pro wrestler and 1996 Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle is getting picked up on charges of possessing a human growth hormone in McKees Rocks, Pa. Police arrested Angle at about 7:50 a.m. Saturday in a Robinson Township strip mall parking lot, although the HGH wasn’t the reason they were called to the scene initially. No, that was because Angle’s girlfriend called after seeing him circling the parking lot staring at her as she sat in a coffee shop even though she had obtained a protection order about 1½ hours earlier after the two fought Friday night. When they did confront Angle, officers found the human growth hormone Hygetropin in his car and the wrestler told them he had a prescription for the drug. Angle was charged with violating the order of protection, harassment, possession of drugs and paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license. As a quick aside, why is it that every time some - especially celebrities and athletes - are picked up for doing something douche-baggish, they are almost always driving on a suspended license? Is a suspended license the gateway crime to more serious infractions in the same way that weed is a gateway drug to harder drugs? As for Angle’s excuse for driving around a strip mall parking lot early in the morning, he told officers he had not seen the woman and was looking for a hotel because he was barred from his home. Now I can't day for sure, but something tells me that this isn’t where Angle would have thought his life would be headed back when he was a two-time NCAA Division I wrestling champion at Clarion University or when he won the 220-pound championship at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. But in reality, you could have seen this coming. Last September, Angle faced a drunken driving charge in Moon Township outside Pittsburgh, a charge he ultimately was found not guilty of. Still, this guy looks to be on a downward spiral and I have my doubts as to whether he can pull out of it before disaster strikes……

- The only thing that could possibly be better than a raging wildfire destroying nearly 100,000 acres of prime southern California real estate is that raging wildfire being started by a bunch of potheads who allowed the cooking fire for their drug trafficking operation to get out of control. Yes, investigators say that the cause of a weeklong blaze that charred more than 85,000 acres in and around La Brea originated at an illegal marijuana camp believed to be run by a Mexican drug organization. After looking into the fire, the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Narcotics Unit feels confident in those findings. Nothing better than a bunch of potheads stoking their cooking fire, looking to get their product ready for distribution and allowing things to spin out of control to the point that hundreds of people are forced out of their homes. Then again, you can’t be too hard on these stoners; for the past month, narcotics investigators have been scouring the area looking to stamp out hippie lettuce operations from the region’s remote and steep terrain. "It is also believed that the suspects are still within the San Rafael wilderness trying to leave the area on foot," officials said in a release. Meanwhile, they leave behind a massive inferno that some 2,000 firefighters are still fighting. As of Sunday afternoon, the blaze was 35 percent contained, but past SoCal wildfires would seem to indicate that wind and weather conditions could swing this thing back in the wrong direction quickly. So while I sincerely appreciate the work that weed-producing operations put in to bring their fantastic product to the world, I’m going to have to ask that all of the other pot businesses out there not follow the example of the guys responsible for this debacle………

- Call me cynical, but Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett either needs to learn how to fight or he needs to hire some better security (having security to begin with would be a good start). Barrett and his family attended the Wisconsin State Fair in West Allis on Saturday night and around 10:45 p.m. they decided to head home after a day of funnel cakes, elephant ears, Ferris wheels and visiting the livestock barn. As the Barrett family headed for their vehicle, the mayor heard a woman crying for help. Doing what most of us would like to think we’d do in a similar situation, Barrett responded by rushing to the woman’s aid. Of course, he didn’t exactly look to trade fisticuffs with the attacker. No, the mayor broke out his cell phone and began calling 911. When the attacker saw that, he turned his attention from the woman he had been beating on and charged at Barrett. Wielding a metal pipe, the man managed to inflict significant damage on the mayor and send him to the hospital for treatment. Thankfully Barrett was alert and speaking coherently when he arrived at the hospital and thanks to his efforts, the woman involved in the incident was not injured. Police were finally able to apprehend a suspect in the case late in the day on Sunday, so perhaps this story will have a semi-happy ending after all. Having said that, I’m going to have to advise Mayor Barrett to take a realistic view of his current state of proficiency when it comes to fighting and self-defense. I realize that doing battle when the other guy is rocking a lead pipe and all you have is a cell phone can be tough, but take a karate class or two, work on your self-defense tactics and at least you’ll be able to fend the guy off and disarm him before he sends you to the hospital. Other than that, props to coming to the aid of a damsel in distress, I’m sure that will be good for a tenth of a percentage point or two when the next mayoral election rolls around……

- Well this is certainly a welcome oddity at the box office. During the summer, when blockbusters tend to reign supreme regardless of how terrible they are based simply on the power of their marketing machine, having a low-budget and critically acclaimed movie with no stars and an unknown director snag the top spot in the earnings race is a sight for sore eyes. “District 9," the alien action fick directed by Neill Blomkamp, was shot in Johannesburg, South Africa, but managed to connect with American audiences in grossing $37 million. Perhaps some of those eyes were drawn to the movie because it was produced by Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson and, but clearly there is some quality on the screen as well and I say that even as someone who is not a big fan of the sci-fi genre. Now we’ll have to see whether the initial buzz and the momentum from being the hot new film can carry through and keep “District 9” at or near the top for a few weeks. Finishing second was "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra," which dropped 59 percent in its second weekend but still managed to come through with $22.5 million to put it on the verge of breaking the $100 million mark domestically by the end of the day today. Finishing third was a movie that everyone I have heard from seemed to hate, "The Time Traveler's Wife” Sure, Rachel McAdams is still hot and the ladies still love Eric Bana, but the movie’s oft-maligned premise was what seemed to turn a lot of people off. Nevertheless, “Time Traveler” snagged third place with $19.2 million in its debut weekend. Rounding out the top five were "Julie & Julia" (fourth $12.4 million) and "G-Force" (fifth with $6.9 million). Oh, and if you want proof that over-the-top, ubiquitous, smothering promotion of a bad movie can’t make it successful, look no further than "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard," with Jeremy Piven and Co. earning a measly $5.4 million. It’s never a good sign when Japanese animation auteur Hayao Miyazaki is right on your heels with "Ponyo," a film that showed on only 927 screens, significantly less than “The Goods,” I’m guessing. One movie I had hoped to see fare better was the music comedy "Bandslam," which struggled in its opening weekend with only $2.3 million from more than 2,000 screens. One very interesting project that opened in only seven theaters was the Jimmy Page/The Edge/Jack White music documentary "It Might Get Loud" which grossed $101,000 from those seven theaters. It’s the one movie of the weekend that makes me wish I lived in a bigger media market so I could have seen it sooner……..

- Here we go again. Another round of D-list celebrities and has beens has been suckered into taking part in the newest edition of ABC’s Dancing With the (D-List) Stars. This group of misfits and attention whores includes former Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin, past-his-prime mixed martial artist Chuck Liddell, Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin, professional snowboarder Louie Vito, crappy singers like Mya, Macy Gray and Aaron Carter; irrelevant actresses Ashley Hamilton, Melissa Joan Hart and Debi Mazar; models Joanna Krupa and Kathy Ireland; reality stars Mark Dacascos and Kelly Osbourne; entertainer Donny Osmond; and former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay. Yes, that might be the single biggest collection of rejects, people who have outlived their 15 minutes of fame and no-talent hacks that reality television has ever seen, which is certainly saying something. This train wreck will officially leave the tracks on Sept. 21, so there is still time to write letters of protest, build a bomb shelter, sell your television or kidnap one or more of these losers so as to keep this nightmare from becoming a reality. Should we fail in our mission to keep it from happening, just know that Sept. 21 will be a day to forget in the history of this country and a day to avoid your television in prime time…….