- Interesting strategy you’ve got going on to keep your population from growing too rapidly, India. When World Population Day rolled around this year, India's new health and welfare minister offered up a new idea on how to slow his country’s out-of-hand population growth: Bring electricity to every Indian village so people will spend their time and energy watching TV instead of having sex. The reaction to that concept was mixed and curious to say the least, with many people taking the same stance as 80-plus years old Omar Mohammed. "Now you see I have 24 children, 13 boys and 11 girls," Omar explained, adding that he believes only God can decide how many children you should have. “This is His command. It's not my doing, it's His doing.” Other Indians have a more open mind when it comes to population issues and finding ways to curb its growth in the world’s second-most populous country. The Indian government has been encouraging families to have only two children for years now, but family planning and free contraceptive programs haven’t made much of a difference. Basically, unless a country enacts and enforces militant population controls like the Communists in China, people are going to keep having as many kids as they want. Still, overall government statistics for India show the birth rate is coming down. At present, 40 percent (14 of 35) states have reached the two child per family target. States where the population growth rate has continued to soar are states filled with mostly poor and illiterate individuals who just can’t seem to do much else besides getting knocked up and having kids they can’t afford to support (just like America!). The government worries about the strain that burgeoning populations will place on already sparse supplies of natural resources in these areas. Those worries seem fairly rational given the fact that the United Nations’ statistics show that India is home to 50 percent of the world's poor and is projected to overtake China as the most populous country on earth sometime in the next 50 years. So can that trend be reversed simply by giving people access to television? I’m going with no, but maybe I’m just being cynical. You might seem people become fatter and lazier, perhaps even spawn your country’s own slate of crappy reality TV, but don’t expect access to television to help curb population growth…….
- Considering that I’ve never listed to an entire song from Drake, I have to admit that there appears to be such a heated battle to see who signs this guy to a record deal. Earlier this summer, it was reported that the Toronto-raised rapper was likely to sign with Universal Motown. Yet it was announced this week that Drake had signed with Aspire, a company co-run by his manager, Cortez Bryant, with distribution through another Universal label -- Universal Republic -- through Young Money/Cash Money. And if that sounds at all confusing, that’s because it is. Of course, there are more twists to the story. Motown seems to have changed its mind and reps at the label are requesting all Drake Billboard chart entries be credited to Motown and not Republic moving forward. “I went through Universal Republic because I don't fuck with Motown, at all," Drake said recently. He doesn’t seem to have much love for Motown, and by not much, I mean he hates them. He uses one of his faux hip-hop songs, "Say What's Real" off his "So Far Gone" mixtape, to rip Motown president Sylvia Rhone. “I've always been something that these labels can't buy / especially if they trying to take a piece of my soul / and Sylvia be telling 'Tez, 'Damn, Drake fly' / and he just be like, 'silly motherfucker, I know,” the oh, so cleverly crafted lyrics declare. His anger is going to be a curious piece of the puzzle now that he is signed to Republic and Motown will distribute his album. One explanation for this mess could be that Drake's deal with Republic was never finalized before he and his crew began publicizing it, which is what one source at Universal said. There is also speculation that Motown gets first dibs on any artist signed to Young Money and Cash Money regardless of the artist's preference. As for the animosity between Drake and Rhone, word is that the two had an extremely contentious encounter a couple of years ago in which Drake auditioned at Motown's New York headquarters for Rhone and she turned him down flat. Now, he’s linked up with Lil Wayne and is set to release his debut album, "Thank Me Later," later this year. All of this for an artist I absolutely can’t stand based on the limited samples of his work I’ve heard and think is basically the latest in a line of hip-pop, faux rappers trying to craft a rapper’s image despite being mainstream pop…………
- The aftermath of that ugly scene at Wrigley Field on Wednesday night is proving to be exactly what I thought it would be. Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino ranged back on a fly ball to center field, caught the ball and had a beer dumped on him by some idiot sitting in the outfield bleachers. Stadium security came onto the scene quickly searched for the offending party and once they thought they had their man, they tossed him out of the stadium. The past couple of days, more details have come out about the incident and as predicted, this was a thoroughly ridiculous and idiotic act by a moron. First, the fan who was ejected from the game turned out not to be the guy who threw the beer in the first place. Yet the real perpetrator was found out and finally decided to turn himself in. Believe it or not, he describes himself as a diehard, lifelong Cubs fan. Johnny Macchione is now being investigated for simply battery after Victorino and the Chicago Cubs both filed complaints with the Chicago Police Department over the beer-throwing incident. "That really ticked me off, to be honest with you," Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said Thursday. "There's no place for it. The Phillies are a good ballclub, and Shane's an outstanding player. It wouldn't matter who it is. "You're risking a very dangerous thing here, if the beer splatters in his face and he misjudges that ball and it hits him in the head and broke his nose.” As much as I hate agreeing with The Man, Hendry is right. Of all the things fans are entitled to do when they buy a ticket and go to a game, throwing beer on anyone - players or fellow fans - is not one of them. You can talk smack to that player all game long, try to get under his skin and be a totally obnoxious a-hole if you want (just don’t spray non-stop profanities), but do not throw things onto the field. No one thinks you’re cool or fresh if you do so and you’re not helping your team win or showing how much of a fan you are. What you’re showing is that you are a drunken idiot who either a) got so hammered that you thought throwing an $8 beer at a player was a good idea or b) have so little class that you elected to throw said beer without actually being inebriated. Either way, you are a piece of crap and no one - and I mean no one - likes you…….
- Dare to stand up for something worthwhile and expect to have the world come looking to attack you and tear you down. But while the world loads up on the tar, feathers and pitchforks to attack Dr. Jason Newsom of Pensacola, Fla., I’m rushing to stand by his side in a fight against some of the biggest menaces this country faces. Those menaces would be none other than burgers, French fries, fried chicken and doughnuts. Newsom, a former Army doctor who served in Iraq, returned home to Panama City a few years ago to run the Bay County Health Department and wasted no time in waging his war against the fatty foods turning America into the punchline of every FAT joke around the world. To drive his point home, Newsom used an electronic sign outside the health center to post sarcastic, anti-fatty food messages like, “Hamburger Spare Tire” and “French Fries Thunder Thighs.” He even singled out KFC in an effort to convince people to reconsider their choice to down fried chicken. His early efforts surely didn’t win him many fans, but it wasn’t until Newsom attacked doughnuts that he found himself in serious trouble. Working off of Dunkin’ Donuts slogan, “America Runs on Dunkin,” Newsom fired back with: "America Dies on Dunkin.” It was that message that sent him afoul of some of the power players in town, undoubtedly FAT people who enjoy making other people FAT with their FATty foods. Those people would include a county commissioner who owns a doughnut shop and two lawyers who own a new Dunkin' Donuts on Panama City Beach. Showing why people hate lawyers, these two legal eagles threatened to sue and were able to back down Newsom’s bosses at the Florida Health Department to the point that they made him remove the anti-doughnut messages and eventually forced him to resign, he says. "I picked on doughnuts because those things are ubiquitous in this county. Everywhere I went, there were two dozen doughnuts on the back table. At church, there were always doughnuts on the back table at Sunday school. It is social expectation thing," Newsom said. He could not be more right and doughnuts are absolutely an inescapable menace that churches and other gathering places put out far too often as a snack for people who would be much better served by a nice plate of veggies. Yet when Newsome had the kahones to ban doughnuts from department meetings at the health center and announcing he would throw them away if he saw them in the break room, employees lashed back. They became even more irate when Newsome removed candy bars from the vending machines and put in peanuts instead. There are a lot of problems in this case…..but none of them are Newsom’s fault. It’s not his fault that people can’t appreciate clever slogan parodies like "Doughnuts Diabetes," and "Dunkin' Donuts Death." It is also not his fault that people in America, specifically in his corner of the country, are too often FAT slobs (1 in 4 people in Newsom’s county are considered clinically obese and 39 percent are considered overweight). None of that stopped his bosses at the state Health Department from informing Newsom that he could be fired or resign. “I have never been known for my subtlety. I don't have a knack for it. I speak the truth to people and just assume that that my data and purpose are so real and true that everyone will see the value of what I'm doing," Newsom declared. Thank you for fighting the good fight against FAT, doctor, I for one support you……
- Cries of a government foisting socialism on its people ring out. Now where does this situation sound like it would be happening? Your first guess might be right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A, where conservatives around the country have been crying socialism at nearly every action or step taken by the Obama administration regardless of the issue. That would be your first guess, but it would also be a wrong guess. Here are a few hints: lots of oil, crazy dictator who hates the U.S., warm climate…..yes, it’s Venezuela! Critics (i.e. people with an IQ above 40 and who aren’t government sycophants) are decrying the passage of a bill by Venezuelan legislators that will enact major changes to the country's education system. Those critics say the bill’s central aim is to indoctrinate students with a socialist agenda. I see that criticism….and I like it. Crying socialism is always a good way to alarm people and provoke outrage and in this case, it could very well be on point. Under the law, teaching will be based on ideas advanced by Simon Bolivar, a 19th-century independence advocate who advocated self-determination and Latin American unity. In response to the claims of imposing socialism on its students, the government countered that the law will improve education standards throughout the country. “This law is needed for many reasons ... the curriculum, the functioning of schools, the incorporation of the community,” Hector Navarro, the education minister, said. Blah, blah, blah. I’ve got one word for you, H. - SOCIALISM! I’m automatically siding with anyone opposing Hugo Chavez on any issue, so if the people standing against him on this matter are saying that teaching Bolivarian ideals in schools is an attempt by President Hugo Chavez to increase long-term support for his policies and implant socialism in the minds of students, I wholeheartedly concur with them. "They don't use the word 'socialism,' but that's what they want to introduce in our schools," Ray Gonzalez, a 59-year-old engineer, said of the legislators who passed the law. The law is so offensive that national assembly members opposed to the bill exited the assembly hours before the final vote in protest. “We decided to withdraw because they did not accept our proposals or recommendations,'' said Juan Jose Molina, a politician opposed to the bill. This comes even as more than dozen legislators have dropped their support for the president and his ruling Fifth Republic party because of Chavez’s increasingly authoritarian tendencies. So feel free to join in the chorus of people crying socialism, Venezuelans, unlike your American counterparts, you have every right to do so……..
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