- What a weekend for horse racing, eh? The prospect of horse racing’s first Triple Crown winner in 30 years loomed and if you listened to the loudmouth crew surrounding race favorite Big Brown, there was no way it wouldn’t happen. The bombastic, arrogant trainer, Rick Dutrow Jr., was talking so much junk about Big Brown that you’d think there was no need to ever run the Belmont Stakes. Jockey Kent Desourmeaux was doing the same thing, arrogantly proclaiming how great Big Brown was and how much better he was than all of the other horses in the field. Even the oddsmakers were buying into the Big Brown fever, making the horse a favorite with 2-5 odds, meaning that to win $2 by betting on him, you needed to lay down $5. Everything looked great…..until the race actually happened and Big Brown crapped out big time. Instead of finishing first, he came in freaking last, ninth place. What I loved most about all of this was that ESPN went nuts on its coverage, starting at noon for a 6:25 p.m. race and afterward, it had not one but two segments of its crawler at the bottom of the screen devoted to the exact same information about Big Brown - comments from his jockey, trainer, veterinarian, a guy who saw him walking back to the stables after the race, the dude who feeds him every day, his accountant, etc. Yeah, because seeing those comments once just wasn’t enough. Thanks, ESPN. Also hilarious was the realization that the figure at the center of all of this, the horse himself, literally has no idea of what happened and could not care less. That’s another part of what makes horse racing a non-sport; if Tiger Woods or Roger Federer have a chance to win the Grand Slam in their respective sport (golf and tennis) and they blow it big time in the final major, they’re going to be devastated for a while. The Grand Slam is the golf or tennis equivalent of racing’s Triple Crown, so Big Brown loses the Triple Crown shot and has no idea that it’s just happened, how can it be a true sport? If the main participant doesn’t have any idea that he’s on the verge of history or even what the rules and procedures are for the race he’s running in, how can you possibly call it a sport? Thanks for another wasted summer, horse racing, I’m very (not) sorry that you didn’t get that Triple Crown winner you so badly wanted, maybe next year….
- Other than being un-creative with album names, there’s not much to complain about when it comes to the new Weezer album. Like two of the group’s previous efforts, the disc is self-titled but is also being referred to as The Red Album to differentiate it from previous Weezer albums of the same name. It’s the sixth studio album for the band in 14 years, so you might be asking if über-dorky, doesn’t-want-to-be-cool lead singer Rivers Cuomo has finally grown up musically and stopped acting like a disenfranchised outsider who’s perpetually stuck in high school. The answer to that question is yes…and no. Musically Weezer takes another step forward with this album but lyrically, Cuomo is still busy exploring a lot of the same emotions he’s been dealing with for the past five albums: girls, parents, school, society, etc. In the song Troublemaker, the song’s main character is mired in the quagmire of high school life, dreaming about being a rock star so he can “do things my own way.” There are some great, catchy riffs throughout the album and many of the playful, disconnected and wistful choruses that have marked each preceding Weezer album. The band’s often juvenile, prankster sense of humor shines through on Everybody Get Dangerous, a song that is a fun ode to teenage pranks like blowing up mailboxes and tp’ing houses. The bottom line here is irreverent fun, because if you can’t have fun listening to a Weezer album and get back in touch with (or in some of our cases, keep living in) a spirit of juvenile goofiness, then maybe you’ve become far too much of a stiff, conservative, boring adult and need to change your outlook on the world. For those who still know how to have fun and goof off, Weezer (The Red Album) is a great one to have and enjoy….
- The worst disasters are the ones you can see coming well in advance, yet are powerless to stop. That would sum up my feelings on You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, the abortion of a movie starring Adam Sandler that hit theaters this weekend. I know it’s taboo to rip a guy like Sandler because he’s such a nice guy, a regular Joe who just happens to make $25 million a movie. Truthfully, I do feel bad about ripping one of his movies because he generally does seem like a cool dude and someone you’d like to have as a buddy, rich or not. However, I can’t in good conscience give a positive review to a movie this bad, high-character lead actor or not. The movie is a typical high-profile comedy with enough material for one funny SNL skit that has been ill-advisedly turned into a feature film. The Zohan is a nice guy, an Israeli counter-terrorism soldier whose true desire is to be a famous New York hairstylist. He leaves his life in Tel Aviv and comes to the U.S. to chase that dream and hilarity ensues….or at least it’s supposed to. Seeing the Zohan get after it with some, um, advanced age ladies, is a perfect example of the bad humor in this movie. Predictably, he also has a crush on Emmanuelle Chriqui, who he meets at his new hair salon. The jokes are just the type of lowbrow, lame cliché humor you get in every Sandler film, but with a weak storyline and overall subpar acting, it’s not enough to elicit more than a handful of laughs. In short, going to see this movie would not only waste your time and money, it would make you really pissed at just how much time and money you wasted. Save your money and go see a better film that comes out in the weeks ahead, something like Disney Pixar’s Wall-E, an animated film about a robot. Yes, an animated robot film would be a better choice than Zohan, it’s true…..
- How could I spend days, weeks and months ripping every aspect of Hank Clinton’s presidential campaign and not have a few thoughts on her finally doing what she should have done weeks ago, conceding the race to Barack Obama and getting lost. Ironically, there was nothing to concede because Obama had already secured enough delegates to claim the nomination, but thanks anyhow, Hank. She made her concession in a rally at the National Building Museum in Washington, D.C. Saturday afternoon, admitting to supporters that it “wasn’t the party I’d planned,” but saying she still appreciated their support. Yeah, whatever Hank. Where was your apology for wasting our time and energy by continuing your campaign weeks longer than it should have gone on? Where was the mea culpa for the emotional distress you caused people like me who actually had to consider the prospect that you might actually be nominated and could become president….well, back in January when you were still a viable candidate anyhow? I didn’t hear either of those apologies, but I’m going to choose to be the bigger person and rise above those omissions. Thanks for backing Barack Obama, though, as he seeks to keep another rich, old white dude who espouses the idiotic policies of the W. administration from taking over the Oval Office. Sorry, J. McCain, I cannot and will not vote for anyone who still believes in the war in Iraq and believes it should continue. One last bit of tidying up here: Hank Clinton supporters, take a healthy dose of reality and realize that it is O-V-E-R. Your candidate is done, D-U-N. She’s not still in the race, she will not be making a comeback and you need to move on. She’s given up, so should you. There will be no miracle at the Democratic National Convention wherein hundreds of superdelegates are brainwashed into changing their votes and supporting Hank. Make the requisite visit to MoveOn.org and join the rest of us in putting Hank’s reign of terror, er, campaign behind us….
- The Police are nearing their end, but not before one final blowout to close down a long and accomplished musical career. Assuming that you believe any musician when they say that they’re retiring (a dicey proposition along with buying in when a boxer says he’s retiring), the last-ever show for the Police will be Aug. 7 at the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden, with proceeds to benefit New York public television stations Thirteen/WNET and WLIW21. Those stations will help promote the concert and their own financial well-being by airing a Police retrospective during the day on Aug. 7 that will include vintage concert clips and new interviews with band members. The show will also feature classic ‘80s rockers the B-52’s as an opening act and if you’re a lifelong Police fan desperate to be at their final show, be prepared to pay big dollars to get in the door. Tickets will be sold at four pricing levels: $150, $350, $500 and $750. Also available for the richer among us will be packages costing $5,000 and giving the buyer access to sound check as well and other packages costing $2,000 for prime seats and a pre-show party. Also increasing the degree of difficulty for the average fan looking to see the show is the fact that members of the band’s fan club will get first crack at the tickets. Gotta love it when a band is winding down its career and the people who have supported them most faithfully throughout the years are squeezed for massive amounts of money for tickets to one last show, good times…..
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