- You really have to wonder how anyone - especially a well-educated former congressional treasurer - gets to the point where they think that they can thieve more than $725,000 from the committee that runs House Republican campaigns and get away with it. You may be able to get away with stealing money from the cash box kept by the dullards at your local Moose lodge, but trying to steal nearly a quarter of a million dollars from a House campaign committee is something very different. You may argue that Congress steals tens of millions of dollars from taxpayers on a daily basis through their indefensible pork-barrel legislation and you’d be right - that doesn’t mean it’s cool to follow the example of Christopher Ward, the now-former treasurer who stands accused of this massive theft. An internal probe (those usually hurt) has determined that Ward used his authority to order wire transfers that siphoned off money meant for the National Republican Campaign Committee and other GOP groups and rerouted the funds into his own personal accounts. Now I’m not a professional thief or money launderer, but may I ask at this point why you would be so dumb as to transfer the funds directly to your personal account with your name and social security number on it? Did you not think that at some point, someone would notice that $725,000 was missing and go looking for it? Maybe mix in a few dummy accounts along the way, filter the money through a few different sources before dropping it into an account in Zurich, amigo. Again, I’m just trying to help so that maybe you won't find yourself in the sort of predicament that you’re in now. Of course, not stealing $725,000 would accomplish the same thing, but the choice is yours….
- Just because one member of the Vick family is letting everyone down doesn’t mean that there isn't still one Vick out there furthering the family legacy and cementing his legendary status. I referring, of course, to the fact that while big brother Michael is letting everyone down by apparently being a model prisoner out in Leavenworth, Kan. as he serves his federal sentence for his gambling and dogfighting-related crimes, his little brother Marcus is doing the Vick name proud. Marcus, who has had no share of knucklehead moments of his own, including stomping on a fallen opponent during a game while at Virginia Tech and numerous run-ins with the law, was arrested early Friday morning on charges of driving under the influence and eluding police. More accurately, he attempted to elude police, but without success. Vick was observed arguing with a female passenger in a car at approximately 2 a.m. local time, according to Norfolk police. A officer on bicycle approached the car and asked for Vick's driver’s license. Yes, dude was busted by a bicycle cop, that can’t be good for his street cred.
Seeing that he had a sizeable horsepower advantage in the case of car vs. Schwinn, Vick sped away before stopping minutes later and being apprehended. You won't believe what happened next. After fleeing a police officer and being out on the road at 2 a.m., Vick, 24, failed a sobriety test and was charged with DUI. No freaking way! What are the odds that someone who is out on the road, in an argument with a girl, flees the cops and does all of this at 2 a.m. is drunk? In addition to the DUI charges, Vick was hit with charges of misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license. Even more amazing is that his female companion, 24-year-old Delicia Lenora Cordon, was charged with being drunk in public. Marcus, I have to say that this didn’t work out well for you. The only thing worse than getting busted by a bicycle cop is trying to flee a bicycle cop and getting busted anyhow. Perhaps if you weren’t a moron, you would have figured that out. After all, you have to be a moron if you’re driving on a suspended license and you still are out on the roads drunk at 2 a.m. I know that you and your brother are angling to set up a Prison Break-like reunion in which you get thrown into jail so you can break him out, but neither of you are smart enough to pull it off so why don’t you try a more law-abiding approach to life and see how it works out….
- Proving once again that unethical, oppressive, abusive and dictatorial behavior from him is life’s one absolute, infallible certainty, Zimbabwean President Bob Mugabe is at it again as his country prepares for a June 27 runoff election that he appears willing to do everything possible - legal, ethical, fair or not - in order the ensure that this election doesn’t end with the same result as the previous election, i.e. his going down in defeat and then having to use military force to wipe out the results of that election, ignore the will of the people and remain in office. Thursday was a banner day for Mugabe’s campaign of terror, with opposition leader and presidential candidate Morgan Tsvangirai detained twice by Mugabe’s forces and the opposition’s second in command thrown in prison and charged with treason. Later that same day, the U.S. ambassador to Zimbabwe claimed that 20 tons of American food aid intended for impoverished Zimbabwean children had been seized by authorities and given to Mugabe supporters at a rally. So not only is this piece of crap throwing opposition leaders in jail, beating and killing citizens who support the opposition and refusing to allow any opposition rallies leading up to the election, he’s also stealing food intended for starving children in his country and passing it out to his supporters. I don’t normally advocate killing off foreign leaders because it’s not our place to butt in, but I think the world should pool its money together, hire a skilled assassin and have him blow a giant hole in Mugabe with a shotgun. Honestly, the world would not miss him and it would be a better place without him……
- Who knew Sao Paulo was the “in” place to steal expensive works of art? You know how these things are, certain places becoming cool and then falling out of favor just as quickly as they became popular in the first place. Usually it happens with clubs, vacation spots, etc., but apparently it’s now happening in the world of high-class art theft. For the second time in less than a year, a high-profile art theft has hit one of Sao Paulo’s museums, this time a downtown museum where two Pablo Picasso prints and several other paintings with a total value of $612,000 were stolen. The police haven’t announced any leads at this point, nor do they have any suspects. Typically these things resolve themselves when the thieves get sloppy or impatient in trying to move their stolen goods, leading to their arrest and the return of the stolen art. Not too many art thieves are also smart when it comes to how to sell what they steal, for whatever reason. Personally I’m not taking the risk of stealing anything unless I’m 100 percent sure that I can move it and do so quickly and quietly, but that’s just me. For the sake of those responsible for this heist (because honestly, who’s looking out for the well-being of high-class art thieves?), I hope that they’ve planned out their entire operation from start to finish and are already well on their way to selling the paintings. That being said, I anticipate seeing them on the news in a few weeks, being cuffed and hauled off to jail…..
- NBA Finals have bombed out, but at least I finally see reasoning behind lame-ass scheduling for the series. It’s still moronic and just plain wrong, mind you, but I see where it’s coming from. With a truly bad series between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Chokers just about over, we won't have to put up with this crap much longer, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less pissed about it. Basically, the league scheduled the Finals so that it would have two games on in prime time on Sundays, because their numbers indicate that Sunday night is when they’ll get the highest ratings for a game and thus make the most money off of advertising. Problem is, that financially-based scheduling has asininely resulted in not one, but two two-day breaks between games in the same f’ing city while the series has had only one-day breaks between games both times it has shifted across the country from Boston to L.A. and back. Great job antagonizing your fans, David Stern and front office a-holes at the league office. No way do you want to keep fans interested by having games on a logical schedule wherein the pace and flow of the series aren’t disrupted by unnecessarily long breaks. You couldn’t have known that the series would be as terrible as it has been, but you definitely could have known how much it would put off fans when there’s a game on Thursday in Boston or L.A. and the next game in that same city isn’t until Sunday. You need to realize that in this case, putting the fans first is the best choice. Heck, you could have even scheduled the series with one-day breaks between games in the same city and still had one Sunday night game, but did you think of that? Hell no. Couple that with the growing suspicion that your games, whenever the f**k you get around to playing them, are fixed and you start to see what the NBA is still third banana behind the NFL and Major League Baseball in this country.
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